Sometimes I sit and wonder, “What would it be like if I were to disappear?” Would anyone miss me? My parents, would the put aside their differences, call back my brother, and look for me? Sometimes I feel as if no one loves me, no one’s there for me, no one needs me. But when I feel like that, he always comes up. Kim Myungsoo, the first person who cared.

I was feeling under-the-weather today. My mood was a total contrast to the sunny day outside. My parents were arguing again and I was in my room, lying on the bed with the blankets up to my chin with my earbuds in. I was waiting, for what I didn’t know. Maybe it was for the arguing to stop, maybe it was for the song (which totally did not match my mood) to change, maybe it was for my brother to come back. I don’t know.

I’ve been doing that a lot lately, thinking about things that I don’t know the answer to. So I laid there listening to DBSK singing “Hug.” And then the song changed. It was an English song, “Hero,” and though I couldn’t understand it, his voice and the emotions behind it touched me.

There was a time I searched up the lyrics to this song and read them, translated of course. “I can be your hero, baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever...” it said. I wish I had a hero. I wish I had someone what could kiss away all the pains and the troubles. I wish I had someone who would stand by me and help me along everything. I sound so weak, saying those things. But even someone strong has to let go somehow, right? To my friends, I seem like I bottle up al