Even if you tease me by saying this is foolish, I can’t turn this heart around I shout out loud, I get angry but it’s no use ~ Selene 6.23 (SHINee)

The moon was mocking him. She shined so brightly illuminating the road in front of him while he made his way back to the dorm.

She was guiding him, telling him which way to go and he felt like he was betraying her. He was going to be a jerk and stop talking with her.

And only the idea of not hearing her voice anymore made his heart hurt so much. He felt like crying.

He drank too much that night, much more than he was used too. But he wasn’t drunk, just tipsy.

Opened the door to the dorm and stepped inside feeling miserable. He almost laughed remembering a night a few years ago. The night he broke up with his girlfriend.

This was different. He wasn’t in a relationship with Rin, but it hurt as if he was. He sat on the couch and looked at the woman’s coat and bag there.

Lillie was still with Jinki. He would have smiled if he had the strength for that.

He wished he could date Rin like Onew was dating Lillie. He would do everything to make her happy. Why did he have to meet her online? Why didn’t he meet her on the street, or a bar?

She didn’t go to bars; she was always closed in her apartment like a princess in a tower waiting for his prince.

But he wasn’t one. He was a liar. A prince doesn’t lie.

He leaned is head back on the couch closing his eyes. All the things he still wanted to say to her ran throw his mind. All the things he wanted to do with her. Maybe he could try to tell her?! She was so sweet, she would understand. No. He had so many opportunities to tell her who he was. He even knew she was a shawol. All those talks about SHINee...She would think he was making fun of her.

Rin would hate him. There was only one way out and he knew it. He knew it since the first time he realized he liked her.

Jonghyun heard a noise and opened his eyes looking at Minho, his sleepy eyes looking back at him.

“I was going to the bathroom. Are you ok?”

Jonghyun just smiled and looked the other way. He didn’t feel like doing small talking.

Minho sat beside him.

“Did anything happen? Are you drunk?”

“No. I’m just tired!”

“Did you fight with the girl in the internet?”

Key told him too. You couldn’t have a secret anymore in that group.

“No. I wish we did because then we could make up.”

Minho got up.

“I really have to pee. I’m sorry!”

Jonghyun chuckled.

“It’s ok! You can’t help me anyway. No one can!”

Minho looked at him a last time apologetically before running to the bathroom.

Jonghyun got up staggering a little and went to his room falling in his bed and closing his eyes.

If he could sleep he would forget the pain for a little…

Jonghyun rolled in bed and fall over to the floor. He groaned with the pain. His head hurt a little too. He wasn’t the best drinker; he always lost every time they did drinking games. He would turn into a crying demon.

He got up still dressed from the night before and went to the bathroom. He needed a shower. Onew was on the hall leaning to the wall.

“Lillie is taking a shower!” He blushed a little saying it.

They had a girl inside their dorm?! Awesome! He smirked.

“Don’t even imagine it!” Onew warned him and he laughed.

“I won’t…I promise! I’ll go to the other bathroom.”

He took a quick shower and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like he hadn’t sleep at all.

Jonghyun needed to forget her. He could do it. He already forgot his ex. It can’t be that difficult to forget Rin too. Right?! It wasn’t like he was in love with her…

And there are lots of girls out there to meet. Nice, y, hot girls. He just needed to meet more girls and forget that infatuation with Rin.

He got out of the bathroom trying to feel confident.

He heard Taemin talking with Lillie on the dining room. They were talking about girls. They had a lot of subjects to discuss but they had to talk about girls… It looked like a punishment.

"What is the best way to confess to a girl?" Taemin asked.

Key complained about Taemin not asking his help and Lillie answered.

"I don’t think it really matters how you do it. The important thing is what you say to her. "

Jonghyun just sighed. He had thought so many times how to confess to Rin.

He entered the room and sit down next to Taemin grabbing his chopsticks.

"Good answer!” He didn’t look at any of them. Didn’t felt like talking much today. “I’m starving!"

It was a lie. His stomach was in the middle of a war because of what he drank the night before. Still, he needed to eat.

He glanced at Lillie and she looked away her cheeks a little pink.

He smiled looking at his food. She still saw him like an idol and was awkward around them.

At that moment they heard the front door open and everyone looked to see who it was.

Manager Minho came into the room.

"I caught so much traffic! I don’t know what's going on today. And it’s going to snow. "

He looked at each one of them before his eyes fall on Lillie making his smile leave his face.

"What are you doing here?"

Lillie stood up nervously and Key rose with her.

"She came to visit us!"

"She came to have breakfast with us!" added Taemin.

"She had with Jinki!" Jonghyun said chewing without looking at them.

"Damn Jong!" Key complained and Taemin chuckled.

Jonghyun wasn’t feeling like a ray of sunshine that day. He didn’t want to lie more.

"It's true. We're not kids anymore. Yes Onew finally got laid. We should celebrate! "

He got back to his food ignoring the look the manager was giving him.

"Good morning!" Onew entered the room and stood next to the manager.

“We need to talk!” the Manager said looking back at him.

"Yeah!  In my room? "Onew turned back and the manager followed him.

Jonghyun glanced at Lillie. She was peeking at the door of Onew’s room nervous. He almost felt sorry for what he said. But it was true. He wasn’t going to lie anymore.

 “We really should celebrate!” Key said.

“Drinking tonight? And games?” Taemin asked.

“Who buys?” Jong wondered. Drinking was a good idea.

They started making kai bai bo.

Key lost and throw a tantrum.

“It’s not fair Minho and Onew isn’t here. We should do it again.”

“Nope you lost!” Jonghyun added and Taemin nodded agreeing with him.

Drinking would help him forget her for some hours.

Rin collected her coffee and get out of the coffee shop. She went to the supermarket today. She needed to get out of that house. She didn’t sleep all night waiting for his call. A call that never came…

She thought about calling him but maybe he just fell asleep before calling her. She didn’t want to admit it but she was a little worried. What if something happened to him? She wouldn’t know. Because she didn’t knew his last name or where he lived.

She sipped her coffee and saw Lillie walking her way. She was smiling a lot.

She looked at Rin and grinned.

“Rin! What are you doing here so early?”

“I couldn’t sleep tonight! I just went to buy some things. You look happy!”

“I am happy!”

“Did you eat breakfast? Want to eat it with me? I can show you my place!”

Lillie agreed and both walked to Rin’s apartment.

Lillie looked around while Rin walked to the kitchen.

“I can help!” Lillie said going after her.

“No way! You are my guest!”

Rin glanced at Lillie. She wasn’t walking, she was almost hoping around.

“What happened? You look so happy and you were coming from the opposite side of your apartment so early.”

“Oh Rin...” she blushed and rested her elbows on the counter and her head in her hands “I just spent the best night ever!”

Rin chuckled.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. I spent my first night with my prince! I just feel like I’m living a dream. This is too good to be real you know?”

“Yeah. How can someone so special like him exist?”

Lillie moved away from the counter.

“Exactly!” she stared at Rin. “Wait! You have someone! You find your Onew!”

“No. I….I don’t know!”

“I want to know everything” she pulled Rin to the middle of the room and both sat on the floor facing each other.

“Tell me everything!”

Rin tucked her hair behind her ear and started her story. She talked about the first time they talked and how she asked for his number.

“And last night he didn’t call me!”

“And you are worried?”

“You probably think I’m silly for liking someone I meet online”

“OH No. I met my boyfriend online too. I mean he didn’t know me back then. But I knew him. And I stalked him and….”

Rin looked surprised at her. She stalked him?!

Lillie bite her lip and wrinkled her nose. She laughed weakly.

“I was joking. I was talking about Onew. I mean he is like my boyfriend you know!”

“If you could choose, would you choose Onew or your boyfriend?” Rin asked playing with her.

Lillie just chuckled.

“My boyfriend! He is real. Onew is someone I see on TV.”

Lillie got up looking at her watch.

“I should go home. Jules, my roommate, must be worried about me.”

Rin walked her to the door.

“You know Rin, you totally should call him. Sometimes you just need five minutes of reckless courage to change your life. I know it. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t pack my things and came flying to Korea. Look at all I would be missing. I would be a totally different person…and a miserable one. So just call him!”

“Yeah I should! I’m sorry I just talked about my online friend and didn’t gave you breakfast like I said I would.”

“That’s ok! What’s his name?”

“My prince name?”

Lillie nodded.

“Jonghyun!”

Lillie stared at her.

“Not SHINee Jonghyun!” she chuckled “But its funny right?”

“I got scared for a moment there.” Lillie whispered.

“I need to go to the bathroom!” Key said making everyone stop the practice. “I’ll be quick! Sorry!”

“I’ll go with you!” Minho said going after him. Jonghyun picked up his handphone from the bench and went after them too.

He wasn’t feeling alright. The food and the alcohol and the pain in his heart…He needed to fresh up a little.

Minho pated his shoulder and looked at him like he was a lost soul. He hated when he did that.

“I’m fine Choi! Stop that!”

“What?” Minho asked him and Jonghyun was going to answer him when he bumped against a tall girl who was carrying a bunch of fabrics.

Some fall to the floor and she tried to grab them with her arms full.

Minho helped her and she looked at him grateful.

Jonghyun bowed to her apologizing. He had to look up because she was tall, not as tall as Minho thought who couldn't take his eyes off of her.  She was beautiful, her black curly hair was falling on her shoulders, and she smiled brightly at them.

“Oh this is Eun Ha. She is the new cordi I was talking about. She is so young and is already working here!” Key said. He got to meet her a few days back. “She is our dongsaeng!”

“Yeah! I’m 21! Nice to meet you! And it’s just an internship. I hope to stay here after it though!“ She had a sweet joyful voice.

Jonghyun would look appreciatively at her if he wasn’t lost in his own thoughts.

“Work hard!” Key said while she walked away with her arms full of things. The other cordi noonas were probably bullying her since she was the maknae.

Jonghyun looked at Minho to answer him, but the tall boy wasn’t looking at him.

His eyes were fixed on Eun Ha. And he was the one saying they couldn’t look at her.

“Ya!” He pushed him and Minho looked confused at him “Are you that easy? You only saw the girl once and you look like a frog prince in love!”

Minho blushed.

“What are you talking about?”

“You were totally smitten by her!” Key giggled “Oh man what is wrong with us? We are all falling in love. I mean Jinki, Tae, Jong and now you can’t see a new girl…”

Jonghyun just stormed out to the bathroom leaving the others looking at him confused.

He wasn’t falling in love. He was confused that’s all. It was an infatuation.

He washed his face and walked outside the room almost colliding with Key and Minho that were coming in.

They didn’t say anything because they knew it was best thing to do when he was acting like that. He just needed to be alone.

He took of his handphone. He had one call from her…and one voice message.

“Hi Jonghyun. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you or something. I’m a little worried with you since you didn’t call me yesterday. And…”

She stopped, her voice shake a little.

“..you said you would. I…just call me when you can ok?”

She hung up and he decided to replay the message again. He would listen to it forever. He could at least cherish her voice.

She was thinking of call him…Again!

It was already the second time. She left him a message and he didn’t answer her. Maybe he didn’t want to show her a selca. But why?

Maybe he was too shy or insecure. He didn’t sound like that. But what did she know? She didn’t know him for real. Maybe he was just faking everything and he was just an idiot.

No she didn’t want to believe in that.

After lunch she decided to take a nap and she didn’t get up from bed after it.

She didn’t felt good. Maybe she was catching a cold. Lucky she had her next project almost done.

She listened to SHINee songs all afternoon but every time SHINee Jonghyun sang her heart would hurt.

It was already evening and he didn’t say anything. She sat on bed and called him again.

She let the phone ring and he didn’t pick up so she left him another message.

“Hi. It’s me again! I don’t know what’s wrong but maybe you don’t want to talk with me because of the selca request. It’s ok really! You don’t need to be afraid or insecure. I don’t care how you look like. I like the Jonghyun I met on the internet. It doesn’t really matter if you are short or tall, or thin or fat…I don’t care! So please….talk with me. I don’t mind if you don’t want to send me a selca….i just want you…i…”

She hung up embarrassed. What was she saying?! Her cheeks were so hot. She sounded like a desperate girl calling her boyfriend who broke up with her.

She felt like one.

Her head started to hurt and she decided to take a pill for it. Unfortunately there weren’t any pills for a broken heart.

“What’s wrong Jonghyun?”  One of the dancers asked patting him on the back.

He panted leaning his hands on his knees. He was feeling sick from the drinking from the previous night and he couldn’t stop replaying her voice in his mind. He couldn’t listen to the songs he was dancing because her sweet voice was tormenting him.

Onew’s handphone rang and he quickly picked it going to the end of the room to answer it.

Minho gave him a bottle of water.

“That’s ok! We all have bad days!” he said drinking from his own bottle.

Jonghyun straightened up and grabbed the bottle he was offering.

“Thanks! But don’t waste time with me. Go check the new cordi!” he mocked him making Minho blush.

Key was too busy joking around with another dancer and taking selcas for his instagram.

So he moved to the bench and sat next to Taemin who was looking at a selca of a girl.

 “Is she the one?”

“Yes! She is the one with whom I’m going out…”

“No I mean…do you like her?”

“I think so. She is pretty right?”

“Hypothetically, if she was ugly, which is not the case, but if she was. Would you date her anyway?”

Taemin looked at him smiling.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just answer.”

“Yes. But I’m happy she is beautiful!”

“Good boy!”

“I’m not a dog you know! And your phone rang just now…”

Jong took it from inside his bag. It was another call from her. She left him a voice message.

He wanted to hear it but at the same he didn’t. He groaned and got up intending to leave the room.

Onew grabbed his arm.

“Lillie called me. You don’t have to accept if you don’t want to go. And actually I don’t think you should go, at least while you don’t figure your life out. But, Jules, Lillie’s roommate wants a date with you. So are you in for a double date tonight?”

He just sighed. He didn’t knew what he wanted to do anymore.

“Can you give me just a second?”

Onew nodded and he left the room to the bathroom. He closed the door and listened to the message.

“Hi. It’s me again! I don’t know what’s wrong but maybe you don’t want to talk with me because of the selca request. It’s ok really! You don’t need to be afraid or insecure. I don’t care how you look like. I like the Jonghyun I met on the internet.”

She sounded determined. She really thought he was feeling insecure about his appearance.

“It doesn’t really matter if you are short or tall, or thin or fat…I don’t care! So please….talk with me. I don’t mind if you don’t want to send me a selca…”

Short?! He almost felt like laughing.

“….I just want you…I…”

She hung up suddenly when her voice failed.

He felt like screaming. She liked him? She wanted him? What was he doing?! He played with her heart and his. He was crazy. He screwed up!

He turned off the handphone furious and paced around the bathroom trying to control his wish of running away from there.

He could not send her a selca and pretend that he was feeling insecure but that was more lying, and soon she would want to meet him. It was just delaying the pain.

He took a deep breath and decided what he was going to do. He was going to check his heart. He couldn’t like her that much right?! He was just confused and was feeling guilty for lying to her. It was just that.

He got out from the bathroom and into the practice room.

“Set that date Jinkis Jinkis!”

He said to a surprised Onew.

Jules and Lillie were waiting for them at the movie theater. Jules was beautiful. He never saw her before. But she was stunning and tall. Too tall and she wasn’t wearing high heels.  She seemed to be a confident young woman but she looked nervous looking at him.

They were introduced by Lillie and they awkwardly complimented each other. She said his voice was beautiful and he said she was well dressed.

They moved inside to watch a horror movie Lillie chose, and sat at couple’s seat distant from each other.

Jonghyun and Jules sat down with a big space between them. There were still some minutes before the movie start and Jonghyun glanced at Onew and Lillie. They were kissing and they were far and he didn’t know what to say. His head wasn’t working well …

“They are cute!” Jules said and he looked back at her.

“Yeah! They are like two furry idiots!”

Jules chuckled agreeing with him.

He asked her some question about her and they talked for a little until the movie started.

Jonghyun grabbed some popcorns and his hand touched Jules. He took it away quickly. It was awkward.

Not because he felt embarrassed or attracted to her. It was just strange. She was beautiful but…something was missing.

The movie was the worst thing Jonghyun watched on the last years. He actually screamed at some time during it. His screams mixed with the one’s coming from Lillie on the other side of the room. But she had Onew to cling to while he had no one.

Jules chuckled mocking him. But somehow he didn’t care. He didn’t feel the need to impress her.

She spent the entire movie looking at him. It was like she was checking if he wasn’t going to disappear and was still there by her side. Guess she had a crush on him or something. No…it wasn’t on him. It was on Kim Jonghyun, singer of the boys band SHINee.

But he was so much more…

They left the movie theater and Jules had the brilliant idea to buy alcohol and go drink it at the girls place. He agreed with the plan. They were actually going to celebrate Jinki’s “victory” from the night before if they didn’t go on the date.

Onew frowned but Lillie convinced him.

So the four end up, on the living room of Lillie’s apartment, playing a drinking board game.

Lillie was already drunk. She was the worst drinker Jonghyun knew and he was one of the worst too.

She was always giggling and doing aegyo and Jinki couldn’t stop smiling looking at her. He felt like throwing up.

Not because of the alcohol, but because he wanted to be somewhere else….with someone else, not looking at a cute couple in love.

Onew asked to stop the game and Jules agreed with him.

 “She really at drinking.” Jules said talking about Lillie “maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

“Oh don’t say that Jules. You always have good ideas! I love you” Lillie circled Jules neck with her arms giggling and Jules patted her back.

“I know tokki!  I know! And you really are drunk and embarrassing yourself!”

Lillie glanced at Jonghyun and smiled. He didn’t smile back because he was a little scared of her and what she would do, and what Onew would do to him after.

“Oh puppy Jong! I love you too!” She hugged him and he awkwardly stretch his arms on the air not touching her.  He knew it! That smile was dangerous.

Onew glared at him.

“I didn’t do anything! I’m not even touching her!” Jonghyun stated.

Lillie released Jonghyun and looked at Jinki next.

“My prince!” she said surrounding his chest with her arms.

She said a lot of cute things to him making him blush.

“You should take her to bed!” Jules advised.

Jonghyun started to get nervous when he saw Onew getting up with his drunk girlfriend hanging on his neck kissing him.

He was going to be alone with Jules and he didn’t want to. It was….strange.

“I have to thank you!” Jules said getting dangerously closer to him.

“Why?” He drank another shot. He needed courage to do what he wanted to do. He was testing his heart. His feelings...He felt miserable to use Jules like that. She seemed like a nice person.

“You helped me when my boyfriend broke up with me. In a way you saved me…like you saved Lillie….I mean the songs!”

“It was nothing  special!” He didn’t know what she meant for saving Lillie. He had to ask that to Jinki later.

“Yes it is. You don’t know the power a song can have! Anyway, thank you!”

“It’s ok!”

“I know you don’t like me!”

He stared at her feeling guilty.

“I do…I do. You are funny and interesting and beautiful….hot!”

“I know you like someone else. Lillie told me.”

“I don’t know…”

“hm?”

“I don’t know if I like her. It’s complicated!”

“it’s ok! We don’t have any chemistry Jonghyun!” she laughed “you are cute and super handsome…but we don’t click!”

He chuckled. He felt it too.

“Sorry!”

“That’s ok! We can be friends!”

“I’d like that a lot!”

She smiled.

“Can I just ask you something?”

He nodded.

“Why did you accept to go out with me?”

“I…” he could lie, but he wasn’t going to lie again. He wasn’t that person “I wanted to be sure…sure that I like her.”

“I see. Do you want to see it then? I can help you. And after it we can forget it happened and we can be friends. I won’t tell anyone! I promise. For me it will be like a fangirl dream come true.”

He thought for a moment. He was a little tipsy, they both were, but he wanted to try. He wanted to know what he was going to feel. Would he feel nothing, would he feel desire, would he feel like he betrayed Rin?

He nodded and she got closer to him. She put a hand on each side of him supporting her weight on the couch and she kissed him slightly.

He tried to answer to the kiss but it felt so wrong.  She moved away and he was so sorry for her.

She smiled back at him reassuring that it was ok. She knew…

Jonghyun looked to the side and Onew was staring at them. Damn! He was looking at him like he sinned.

 “I’ll call you then Jonghyun.”

Jules said getting up like nothing happened.

“Yeah” he answered back and got up moving next to Onew.

“She’s sleeping!” Jinki said awkwardly.

“Ok! I’ll take care of her!” Jules reassured him before taking them to the door.

Jinki followed Jonghyun outside. He felt his eyes on him burning. He knew he wasn’t that kind of person. They got to Onew’s car and he started to panic.

He thought about Rin all day. Even when he was kissing Jules, a beautiful y woman, he couldn’t take her off from his mind.  He felt like he was betraying her. He felt like a jerk!

Crazy thoughts started running through his mind. He was willing to tell her who he was just to see her even if that meant her hating him. He just couldn’t hold it inside anymore.

 It was like she was inside his veins and he didn’t mind because he liked it.

He grabbed Onew’s arm before he got into the car.

 “Help me Jinki. I don’t know what I’m doing!” He murmured. “I’m in love with Rin!”

She was watching One fine Day on her bed. She didn’t have time to watch it yet. She used to laugh every time Onew appeared on the screen. But she felt so bad tonight that she couldn’t laugh anymore.

His handphone was turned off and he didn’t say anything.

He probably was trying to say her to give up on him. And she was pondering it.

It was not like they had a relationship. He probably just got tired of her.

 She turned off the computer and got up to make some tea. Her head still hurt a lot and she caught a cold. The next day she was thinking of going to the doctor to do a checkup.

Her phone vibrated. It was probably Minseo. She would send her random texts all the time since she knew she worked at night and was sick.

She almost dropped the handphone when she saw it was from Jonghyun.

Rin hesitated. She almost told him what she felt on the last text.

Her heart jumped inside her chest when she read the name…Jonghyun. He had that power over her.

She read the short message several time. It was only a word and it could mean so many things. It could be a goodbye or it could be another thing, maybe a sign that what they had, whatever it was, was not over. She wanted to believe in the second option.

She read it out loud trying to extract the meaning from it.

“Sorry”

Ok dont hate puppy Jong! He is confused....He didnt mean to hurt Rin or Jules ok?

People make mistakes...

I actualy love him even more now. My poor puppy...

spoiler spoiler And finaly we can see him fighting for her....

Their meeting is getting closer...spoiler spoiler

lol

ok, things:

Jong is reading my fic I swear. He talked a lot about drinking yesterday. XD

I bet Lillie is going find out before than Rin...ahahaha

Poor Jules will have a happy ending. Dont worry. I had her love life planned even before I started writing this fic.

I just had to change some things, but she was never intended for Jonghyun.

And EUN HA IS BACK! She is from Forever! And she is a princess and Minho fall for her and once again its a forbiden love. 

Sorry im too romantic. XD

And thats it i think~

Tell me what you think...dont hate me please!

I wove you!