I take you to the moon

Tell me your secret

Only to me

Talk to me baby

(Moon ~ Jonghyun)

“It rains a lot there right?” Minseo asked grabbing a big rainy coat and showing it to Rin. “Why don’t you try this one?”

Rin didn’t answer, motionless, while Minseo placed the coat in front of her to see if it looked good.

Minseo’s eyebrows dropped and she placed the raincoat back on the hanger from where she took it. “I know this must be hard for you. I understand. But you are going to London! It’s so cool!”

“Cool would be going on vacation with you, or going to visit Lillie or going with my boyfriend.” Rin turned around hugging the white sweater she picked up before and wandered around the store. Minseo followed after Rin, they had a different perspective on things for sure.

Sometimes Minseo felt like suffocating and she wanted to travel, visit other places, know different people. Lately she was speaking with Taemin about traveling a lot. They would finish practice earlier and sat against the wall of the practicing room talking. He would tell her about the places he visited due to work, or about the places he wanted to visit. Somehow both made a traveling plan in their heads, the lines they drew in it crossed each other, finding meeting places where they could be together.

Not that she ever dared to dream to travel with Taemin. It was impossible, not only because he was an idol but also because he barely had free days to travel.

The top of their list was Switzerland. He was in love with it and she wanted to go too. What he told her about the country wasn’t enough to satisfy her curiosity.

“Sometimes traveling alone can be fun too!”

Rin bit her lower lip giving Minseo a pleading look. She didn’t want to talk about the subject anymore. Preparing things to go was already too difficult for her. She was going to be in a foreign country for several months alone, without knowing anyone, afraid to be forgotten by her boyfriend.

“I think we are in need of coffee!” Minseo announced suddenly trying to cheer up her friend “Coffee…and...cats…” Rin was still looking at her with a sad expression “And SHINee?”

Her friend released a deep sigh and nodded her head. That was the perfect combination!

Rin missed the times she could have coffee with Lillie. Now they could only talk on the phone and it was hard to do so due to time differences so they didn’t talk as often as before.

Normally Rin avoided speaking about Jonghyun or anything that reminded Lillie of Jinki, which was almost impossible since she was certain that probably everything made her think of him. However that day she decided to speak about Jonghyun since it was something that was troubling her and Lillie was the one who probably understood her better.

“He seems really ok with it and that’s good but at the same time it worries me. I mean, things will be different…” Rin was making dinner and was using her shoulder to hold her phone against her ear. “…it’s not only the fact we won’t be physically close. It’s also how you lose that daily connection you know?”

Lillie didn’t answer and Rin realized what she just said. Of course she knew. She just broke up with her boyfriend because of that. “I’m sorry Lillie, I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

Lillie clearly was doing her best to sound strong.

“It's different. You will be back in a few months! And I have no idea when I'll be back! I don't want him to wait forever! I don’t want things to come to that.”

“Oh Lillie but you could go back soon….maybe really soon.”

"Do you really think so?" Rin could notice how Lillie’s voice wavered.

Lillie’s question made Rin feel stupid. She was struggling with a few months away from Jonghyun when Lillie had absolutely no idea if she would see Jinki ever again.

“I do. I really do.” At least she hoped it would. Lillie didn’t deserve that. Jinki didn’t either.

Rin hesitated, her fingers holding the jenga piece. Jonghyun’s eyes that were on the piece moved to her face.

“Are you sure you want to take that piece out?”

Rin her lips and pulled the piece slowly.

“Bam!” Jonghyun said as soon as the tower of pieces fell all over the table.

She groaned upset while he laughed making another tower with the pieces.

It was their third time playing the game and even though she didn’t feel at all like dating at a board games café he seemed to be having fun.  She did try to tell him that she wasn’t in the mood, that that wasn’t the kind of date she liked but apparently Jonghyun couldn’t stop thinking about that café ever since he went there with Onew and Minho.

That was part of the plan to cheer up Jinki, but it didn't go like they wanted since he was the only who didn't have fun.  Rin couldn’t blame Jinki though; he probably preferred to go there with Lillie or a group of friends that didn’t spend their time in competition arguments like Jonghyun and Minho did.

“Ah I won again! I should text Minho about it.”

Rin didn’t say anything when Jonghyun grabbed his phone and started texting his group mate.  However after a while he noticed her expression and placed his phone inside his pants pocket, and fixed his sick mask.

“Are you bored?”

She wasn’t bored. She simply wasn’t in the mood to play. It was impossible for her to stop thinking about her flight that was next Friday.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked straightening the jenga tower.

Rin didn’t answer but it was clear what she wanted and Jonghyun stood up from his seat.

“Something is troubling you.”

His obvious remark made her scoff and she grabbed her coat.

“Well of course I am nervous. I’m going to live aboard for a few months leaving my idol boyfriend here.”

Jonghyun barely reacted and instead grabbed his jacket too. “Wait for me outside.”

Rin didn’t think twice and only stopped when she was outside. Jonghyun took a while to leave and she had time to rethink what she just said. She sounded rude and above all she gave the impression that being an idol made things even worse. She knew how he hated the image people had of idols, the image her mother had to an extent, that just because he was an idol he would seduce every woman he could.

Rin walked from one side of the walk to the other and only stopped when he came out and approached her.

“I’m sorry!” She said immediately “What I said inside was ridiculous. I’m just nervous about everything and you act as if nothing is happening and I keep thinking about what I talked about with Lillie, how her relationship with Jinki deteriorated since they were living two different realities. You can’t compare the life she is having to the life of an idol…”

“Stop!” although he gave her an order, Jonghyun’s voice was soft and gentle “We are not Lillie and Jinki. We are Rin and Jonghyun. You can’t compare two relationships, two situations that aren’t the same. “ Jonghyun grabbed her by her arm and pulled Rin with him. “Let’s walk to the car. It’s a bit cold and we don’t want you to get sick before the big day.”

“The big day...” she mumbled feeling the familiar cold ache in her stomach.

“I know what you want. You want me to tell you not to go.” He grabbed her hand in his and faced her “Because the deal you made with your mother didn’t work out and she still doesn’t want me by your side.”

“She did like the concert…”

“But she doesn’t see me as the man that could marry and make her daughter happy.”  Rin looked at him sadly and Jonghyun pulled her with him to a one way street.

Rin knew what he was doing, taking them away from possible witnesses. As soon as they were alone in the middle of the silent dark street he turned to her and pulled Rin to him.

Jonghyun pulled his mask down and cupped her face kissing her.

Rin closed her eyes shut and slipped her arms inside his jacket hugging him.

“I can’t do it.” He said, his hot breath touching her face “I can’t ask you to break a promise you made to your mother. I won’t lie and say that seeing you go away doesn’t affect me. But if I did ask you to stay I would be in a way the man your mother thinks I am. Do you understand that?”

She did in a way. They couldn’t go back on her words. She promised her mother that their love would survive it, that it was stronger than distance and time, that Jonghyun was the best man for her.

“I hate myself for making that promise.”

“Don’t say that.” He smiled softly “It was a good deal. Your mother now respects me. She knows how important music is to me. That’s a big part of knowing me and without truly knowing me she won’t be able to accept me.”

“I wish it was less time.”

“Did they tell you how long will it be? Are they certain of how…”

“Five months. Five long lonely months with no hugs…” She grasped his jacket pulling him close to her.

“…no kisses...” He added stealing a quick kiss from her.

“…no….”

He chuckled grabbing her hands in his again “Well that’s definitely important. But since I survived dating you with almost no skinship whatsoever for a few months I will survive this too.”

“Hey!”

He ignored her complaint and hugged her tightly against him “I’m certain of one thing. Doesn’t matter where you are, since my love for you won’t change.”

Rin closed her eyes and even though she trusted his words she couldn’t help but think about Lillie and Jinki. They also loved each other and yet they weren’t a couple anymore.

Sometimes love isn’t enough.

“I don’t have time Minho.” Jonghyun sat on the living room couch and scratched his ear while he spoke with Minho on the phone. “Ask Taemin.”

They were once again trying to convince Jinki to leave the dorm in his free time and after Minho asked the manager about Jinki’s schedule they found out he had free time the next day. Unfortunately everyone was busy and that left no one to keep Jinki away from falling into the abyss of depression.

“I have a date with Rin.”

That comment made Sodam that was painting her nails raise her eyes to him with a silly grin on her face.

“I won’t take that old man on a date with me and Rin and that is final.”

The idea was ridiculous and Jonghyun shock his head “Jinki is an adult Minho. I know you are worried, I am too, all of us are, but it’s not like we can keep treating him as a kid, controlling what he does. He doesn’t like that.”

Minho’s sad voice made Jonghyun groan and he couldn’t stop picturing Minho with his bamby eyes looking at him.

“Fine. I’ll try to visit him at the dorm, maybe after I take Rin home.”

“It’s just that he is drinking alone too much and yesterday I caught him smoking. He should be taking care of his voice not mining his recovering. “

“Ok ok!” Jonghyun grabbed a pillow and hugged it “Ill visit the old man. Maybe we can drink the night away.”

Once he turned off the call Sodam sat beside Jonghyun and placed her head on his lap as if he was another pillow from the couch.

Jonghyun frowned pretending to be troubled even though he melted with the cute gesture. Lately his sister cut her hair short and she looked so cute.

“Sooo….what’s wrong with Jinki? What story is that of you dating him?” She sat up again and crossed her legs under her “I mean I’m ok with you having an open relationship with Rin and dating a man, I even understand why you like Jinki…who wouldn’t but…JINKI! Jinki is my snowflake of cuteness.”

She made the most serious expression she could manage and Jonghyun furrowed his brow , this time truly annoyed. There was a secret agreement between Jinki and Sodam that they would annoy Jonghyun as often as they could.

“I told you that that isn’t funny anymore!”

Sodam laughed out loud and sat beside Jonghyun again, snuggling closer to him. “Aigo, little brother, I’m just kidding with you! What is wrong with my cute bunny?”

“Don’t call him that please!”

Sodam linked her arm with Jonghyun “What happened to Jinki? His mother did seem worried with him during the Domes.”

“That’s because he broke up with Lillie.”

Sodam seemed surprised. He looked exactly the same on and off stage. “He did seem ok with it. Why are you all so worried?”

“That’s the problem. He is faking it so perfectly that when he is alone at the dorm he completely collapses. This time is worse than his previous relationship problems. Last time he was depressed and even hit me remember?”

Sodam nodded her head hearing her brother attentively.

“This time he is angry. The other day he almost got into a fight in a bar because he drank too much.”

“A fight? Sweet dubu Jinki?”

“Yup! That one! It’s as if he doesn’t care anymore what happens to him… He just doesn’t think anymore. ”

“A break up is always complicated. He is taking his time to adapt to this new reality of being single.”

“More than that, he is upset with Lillie. He can’t accept it and until he does he won’t move on.”

The siblings stood in silence pretending to watch the drama on tv until Sodam turned to Jonghyun again. “I bet you thought about a song to write about it.”

Jonghyun blushed slightly and denied it.

“Are you sure?” Sodam insisted.

“M-maybe a little.”

Sodam smiled to herself and then laid down on his lap again, her eyes on the drama.

Jonghyun had a hard time concentrating on the tv now, not only because he couldn’t stop thinking about Jinki and the similarities that his relationship with Lillie had with his and Rin and also because Sodam was putting a lot more of effort into her appearance lately.

“Are you dating someone?”

She rolled on the couch and turned up to look at him “Not really. I went to a few dates but nothing serious. “

He frowned slightly “Be careful. Not all men are like me…some are like…Minho.”

Sodam laughed wondering why Minho was always used as the bad example when she knew that Minho was only a cute marshmallow like her brother. Ok, maybe he has a flirting side to him, but it was probably not that different from all the man in the world.

“I’m focusing more on work right now.”

Jonghyun nodded his head, clearly relieved “Good!”

Sodam smiled wondering how he would react once she introduced him a boyfriend. It wasn’t as if she would stay single forever. Sooner or later the day he would have to meet her boyfriend would come and Jonghyun needed to get used to the idea of sharing her with someone else.

Rin spend the last hours packing which felt more like hell since her mother wouldn’t stop following her around the apartment super visioning her every move to see if she packed enough coats, underwear and even shoes.

Rin wasn’t good at acting, so her mother could see her disappointment throughout the evening, from the moment she arrived after dinner to the moment they closed the two travel bags.

“Well I’m going now. It’s so late already.”

“Is dad picking you up?” Rin asked peeking at the time on her cellphone. Jonghyun would be arriving pretty soon for them to have a late snack together. It wasn’t as if he planned for her mother and him to meet but if she didn’t leave quickly that would happen anyway.

“No. I’ll call a taxi, your father is probably sleeping already. “

Rin ignored the tone of complaint on her mother’s voice and opened the door for her.

However her mother didn’t leave since Jonghyun was outside carrying a plastic bag and seeming as surprised as Rin’s mother.

Maybe Rin should have told him beforehand.

He bowed respectfully to her mother and blushed slightly “I-I came because I…”

“He just left work and came to eat with me.” Rin explained since he was having a weird attack of stuttering.

“Yes sometimes I come and we eat and we talk.”

Rin pulled Jonghyun by the sleeve of his coat inside her apartment and pushed her mother outside but she barely moved, suspiciously looking at them.

“We talk a lot and then I leave!” Jonghyun lied since most of the times he stayed the night.

“Sometimes he stays and sleeps here since it's closer to work.”

“RIN!” He seemed even more perplexed than Rin’s mother that was looking at her with an expression of disapproval.

“Aigo!” Jonghyun wrapped an arm around Rin’s waist and then regretted it immediately taking it away “Rin is so funny sometimes!”

Rin crossed her arms deifying her mother. She used to be so afraid of disappointing her before and now she only wanted to be honest, to be herself, to say the truth with no fears.

“I know my daughter.” Her mother said interrupting Jonghyun’s tries to defend Rin. “She is trying to provoke me.”

That wasn’t entirely true since Rin didn’t lie at all, she only said the truth.

“I brought food!” Jonghyun said trying to lighten the mood “Want to stay and eat with us? It’s late. I can drive you home after we eat.”

He was being a gentleman, the perfect son in law and even though it annoyed Rin how he always tried too hard to please her mother, when it was useless she was thankful towards him.

Rin’s mother seemed to think for a while and then accepted, much for Rin’s dismay that wanted to stay alone with Jonghyun.

That was what she told him after she followed him to the kitchen where he went to pick up some dishware while Rin’s mother comfortably sat in the living room complaining about the lack of chairs and tables.

“Can’t you see that this is a good opportunity for your mother to know me better?” He whispered to her, worried with finding the right glasses and wondering if Rin’s mother drank beer. That wasn’t the right beverage to offer her.

“You can’t  be serious. She knows you already and doesn’t care. I wanted to be alone with you. We were going to have a romantic dinner.”

Jonghyun sighed and finally found the perfect glasses taking them from the cupboard “I know noona,” He looked so cute when he called her that but Rin wasn’t going to waver with only that “but it’s not like we can simply kick her out….she is your mother!”

“We were going to have ! I have nice lingerie today!”

“Rin!” He widened his eyes when she pushed him against the counter of the kitchen and caressed his chest over his black sweater as if trying to highlight her words “It’s late…we could even had skipped the food and jump to the part.”

“Damn it.” He cursed closing his eyes in pain which made Rin smile.

“Let’s take her home and come back!”

He grabbed her by her shoulders and kissed her lips softly, so softly that she barely had time to feel it. “I love you very much and I can’t say no to with you, but this is an investment. If your mother accepts me someday, then I can have all the with you I want to have.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We will marry! It’s a couple's duty to have .” He whispered back at her making Rin blush not because of the part but because of the marriage.

“Can you imagine it? Living together? Sharing the same bed every night…” his voice hit a lower tone and suddenly his mouth was too close to hers.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Rin asked, her chest aching. She was going on a trip, she was going to spend several months away from him and yet here he was speaking about marriage and living together.

“I’m trying to motivate you to the importance of making your mother like me. Just that!”

He grinned at Rin and released her so he could grab the dishes and the bag with the food and walked back to her living room that was also her bedroom.

Rin fanned herself with her hand and walked after him.

Jonghyun was kneeling on the floor already beside her mother, telling her about the funny story the restaurant owner told him while he bought the food.

He was so sweet, so gentle in his actions and above all honest. He wasn’t doing all that only because of her; he needed her mother's acceptance too. Family was something really important to him and that was one of the reasons he was doing his best. That’s why she also needed to work hard, go to London and come back and show her mother that Jonghyun wasn’t the only one serious about that relationship.  

“I can’t imagine Rin doing that.” Jonghyun laughed covering his mouth his full attention on Rin’s mother.

“Oh she was very spirited when she was small. Sometimes my husband used to say that she was supposed to be a boy.”

Jonghyun glanced at Rin that was speechless watching both talk about her childhood as if they were big friends “Rin climbing trees and fighting with other kids… that’s very surprising!”

“She said she was defending her friend because the neighbor’s kid stole her kite. So she kicked him and then climbed on the tree to pick up the kite that got stuck on it.”

Jonghyun laughed again, is eyes sparkling and Rin’s mother felt the need to continue her embarrassing story. “Somehow she changed a lot during middle school and become more timid.”

Rin rolled her eyes and the gesture wasn’t missed by Jonghyun that was watching her carefully. There was a side of Rin that she was slowly unraveling, that rebellious side of her that she always had and somehow was buried under her fears and insecurities. He liked it, it was something refreshing and new and something he valued. He admired people who spoke their mind, who fought for what they believed and wanted. That was one of the reasons he always admired Kibum, that made them become friends even before they were SHINee.

“I think it’s time to go!” Rin’s mother announced standing up from the floor with Jonghyun’s help that immediately grabbed her arm helping her up.

The gesture made Rin warm and yet she felt sorry towards him. He was doing his best being the polite son in law and her mother was always seeing him in a bad light. They did have fun together that night, mostly speaking about her and yet Rin was sure that her mother’s opinion of him didn’t change. Yes she admitted that he was a good guy and maybe for some other woman he could even be a good husband, but he wasn’t reliable, he wasn’t able to take care of her daughter, as if Rin needed someone to take care of her when she lived well all those last years alone at her place, supporting herself.

Rin was collecting the dishes from the table when she heard Jonghyun offer her mother a ride back home. She hit her feet against the tv table and stared at him trying to juggle the dishes with one hand while she rubbed her feet over her white socks.

“Want to come?” He asked with a pleading smile, clearly a little nervous to be alone with her mother.

“She can stay and do the dishes.” Rin’s mother said “Besides it’s late you should go home too.”

Jonghyun looked from Rin to her mother and back again. He wasn’t going home and all of them in that room knew it. He was going to come back and sleep with Rin and yet he mumbled a goodbye to her and apologized for not helping cleaning before he followed Rin’s mother outside.

His phone vibrated inside his pocket once he opened the door of his car for Rin’s mother and Jonghyun knew that it was Rin texting him, probably watching them from the window of her apartment, the same one that was open when they kissed for the first time.

He didn’t check the message afraid that the gesture wouldn’t be polite in her mother’s eyes and instead tried to focus on the driving so he wouldn’t make any mistake. A perfect husband would drive safely right?! Well at least a perfect father should. The thought made him warm inside and he was a little surprised when her mother spoke.

“You do seem like a good person.”

“Thank you!” He did try to be a good person, to live beside others according to the way his mother raised him.

“When you were at my place I could see how you are talented and educated and humble.”

He blushed slightly wondering why her mother was praising him so much.

“At Japan I could see how hardworking you are, how much you love what you do.”

“My parents always taught me that hard work pays off. My mother made many sacrifices to raise me and I’ve always wanted to pay her back, making her proud, giving all the comfort she never dreamed of having. Making music makes me truly happy and I’m lucky that it also helps me provide everything my mother and sister need.“

“You are the man of the house right?”

“Yes, at the moment yes.”

“And you are young, it’s impressive. “

“Thank you!” He wasn’t sure if he truly should thank her for all that. Now it made sense to him why Rin wasn’t there in the car with them, why she preferred to be alone with him. That was the serious conversation her mother wanted to have with him.

Jonghyun parked in front of the house where Rin’s parents lived and he nervously turned to his future mother in law knowing that the conversation wasn’t over.

“I liked tonight. I liked talking with you and the way you make my daughter smile. She truly seems to love you.”

“She does and I love her very much too.”

“However love isn’t everything, money isn’t everything. Yes you can give her a big house and all the comfort in the world, you can even love her but can you keep her away from the spotlight over your head, from the press writing about her? For the time she will spend alone waiting for you to come back from a concert in Japan?”

Jonghyun opened his mouth to speak but he knew she was right; there wasn’t much he could do. The day he announced that he was dating Rin she would be exposed, they would dig stories from her past (maybe even the one her mother told at the dinner that night), they would follow her family, her friends, they would make questions and rumors…Rin’s safety would be at risk. He couldn’t also deny that Rin would be alone at lot. Being a musician meant lot of hours working, recording music, writing new music, meetings, concert preparations, traveling, fan meetings... Even if he stopped being a member of SHINee, something he really didn’t want to happen, and lived only by writing and producing music he still would be very busy.

However it wasn’t much different from working at a company.

“That’s why I don’t think you are meant to be with my daughter, that a marriage between you two can ever work out.”

“I disagree!”

Rin’s mother eyes widened and Jonghyun gulped ready to say his mind.

“I think it will work out. It won’t be easy and yes Rin will be alone a lot but she would if I worked at a company too…I’m not trying to justify it but…I think she is proud of me and my career and as I said before about my mother, and it’s the same with Rin, I’ll make her very proud. Besides I think love is enough, it makes you want to fight for it, to work hard and if we both work hard I’m sure time won’t be enough to pull us apart.” He his lips feeling more confident, he knew he was right “Also about my life as an entertainer about how it can affect Rin’s life, we talked about it before. She is scared and I understand why, but I managed to protect my mother and sister all these years, my fans respect them and they are even loved and I’m sure that whoever I choose, she will be loved too. And when it comes to the press, I’m sure that if me and Rin are together we will learn to get used to it, to live with it. Humans adapt, Rin changed from a tomboy to a timid girl in middle school and look at her now. She is…blooming. I’m sure we will do just fine. We are good together!”

Rin’s mother didn’t say anything but Jonghyun could see that she was upset with his words.

“I’m truly sorry, I know I probably ruined my chances to make you accept me and that pains me, not because I think that I need a green card from you to love your daughter, but because I know that having you in her life and the life we will build together someday is really important. I grew up with an absent father, with a mother that had to work for two and give me love for two and I know how important family is. I don’t want Rin to lose you and that’s why I’m begging you to, even if you don’t accept me or like me, at least keep supporting her and loving her and possible the children we have in the future.”

“She is my daughter; of course I will keep loving her.”

Jonghyun nodded his head and smiled weakly “That makes me truly happy.”

Rin’s mother opened the door of the car “Thank you for the ride back home.”

Jonghyun watched her enter the house and he stood there for a while thinking about what just happened.

He probably just screwed everything and yet he knew he did the right thing.

If her mother would never accept him than be it. Nothing would convince him that him and Rin shouldn’t be together.

He grabbed his phone and read the two messages he had. One was Minho’s telling him that Jinki left to meet a friend and he was worried with him, asking Jonghyun to not forget to pass by the dorm to check if Jinki was back since Minho wouldn’t be home that night, and the other was Rin’s, like he predicted, telling him to get back to her place after he left his mother.

Yes he was going to do that. He was going back to her, like always.

-

Rin didn’t say much when he arrived back to her place and he didn’t feel like talking either afraid he would reveal to her what just happened. It wasn’t as if he was going to lie about it and sooner or later he would tell her about what happened but he wasn’t sure when.

“I’m sorry about the dinner and taking your mother home. I was just trying to be polite.”

And even though he was the politest ever his efforts pretty much failed.

Rin released a deep breath and turned off the light of the room, leaving only the candle beside her bed lit.

He liked it, she knew he did since they did that often, so often the candle was almost ending.

Rin didn’t say anything, instead she pulled her sweater over her head and started taking off her bra. Jonghyun swallowed watching her actions, admired with the speed she undressed.

“Ok then…” He mumbled when she took off her and jumped on the bed a little more confident about her body than she normally was.

“Aren’t you coming?” She asked raising her hand for him to grab.

He wanted to but he couldn’t help replaying what just happened and he felt bad about sleeping with her without spilling the beans about it.

“I screwed up Rin!”

She frowned but he barely could see because of the dim light so he stepped forward, the light illuminating his features in the dark.

“Why? You didn’t touch me yet!”

“No…I don’t mean…” He seemed tired and she kneeled on the bed covering herself with a blanket.

“What happened? Was it my mom?”

“Yes, well no.” He sat on the bed in front of her and Rin waited for him to talk, drinking his words like always.

“She praised me, she said I was a good person and a good professional but that I would never be able to protect you and stay by your side, that we won’t work out.”

“She is wrong!”

He smiled because she was reacting like he did.

“We will work out.”

“Why?” He had to ask to be sure she felt the same.

“Because we love each other, because we can work it out together right?”

Jonghyun chuckled and Rin tilted her head confused.

“Oh Rin, my sweetest noona!” He lied back on the bed, letting his back hit the mattress and stared at the ceiling that was too dark. “I said the same to her; exactly the same and I think I ruined the only chance we had to make her accept us. I asked her to at least keep loving you and her future grandchildren.”

Grandchildren! The thought made her happy and yet very nervous.

“I’m so sorry Rin. I did my best and I always thought that that would be enough, guess it wasn’t, I was naïve.”

“No!” Rin laid her head on his chest, hugging her body against his, only the thin blanket between their bodies.

He couldn’t see her face but raised his fingers to caress her back.

“No, you are wrong. You aren’t naïve. You are amazing, decent and just out of this world.” She raised her head so she could look at him, her hair tickling his chest. “You are so perfect that I wonder everyday how many countries I saved in my last life so that I can have you.”

She didn’t know how to speak beautifully like him but at least she made him smile “I love you Kim Jonghyun. Even if my mother and the whole world is against us nothing will change what I feel. If I have to disappoint my family and elope with the shorty SHINee member than be it!”

“HEY!” He struggled to sit up but she didn’t let him, still over him “Be careful! What shorty?!”

Rin didn’t let him complain much since she crushed her lips against his. He hugged her tightly and both rolled on the bed with him pulling the blanket away from between their bodies.

They kissed for a while but she soon complained pushing him away since the belt of his pants was hurting her body.

He mumbled a quick sorry and stood up so he could take off his clothes too. However he hesitated as if he just remembered something and Rin watched him smitten with his cute expression.

“You are the most cute, talented shorty, the man I love, the only one I want.” Her comment was enough to make him lose his train of thoughts again and she grabbed him by his pants trying to pull him to her so she could get him .

Still Jonghyun walked back making her release him and asked her to wait before he ran to the kitchen so he could pick up something from the plastic bag he brought before.

He came back holding a new candle for her bedroom and Rin found that adorable.

His love for candles only could be equal to his love for anime.

“It’s jasmine and vanilla.” He sat beside the bed and used the older candle to light it, inhaling the new scent satisfied.

She didn’t like vanilla though but didn’t say anything, leaning forward doing the same and he turned to speak with her.

“It’s said to be aphrodisiacal.”

“Really?”

“Yes, apparently vanilla is a scent that arouses man. “

“Ow….why did you get me that then? I will be away for months and there won’t be any !”

He widened his eyes as if he was offended “For tonight, for when you come back.”

“Ow.” Rin sat on the bed completely and she didn’t miss the look he sent her, his eyes lingering on her s and down her body. It was probably an arousing image to him – Rin sitting on the bed, illuminated by a candle only, the shadows surrounding them, the vanilla scent making him crazy.

“Ok then...” He cleared his throat and stood up again, starting to take his clothes off.

She watched him, trying to hide her naughty smile and he did it more slowly, putting up a show for her.

Rin laid down on the bed waiting for him and Jonghyun didn’t take long climbing on the bed with her too and laying by her side, his hand touching her hip pulling her closer to him.

“This might be our last time before I go.” She said, feeling the familiar pain inside her every time she thought about it.

“Let’s make it memorable then.” He whispered pulling her against him, making her feel his lower body against hers.

“It’s only 5 months right?”

He didn’t answer joining his lips with her and pushing her down on the bed under him.

They kissed for a while, hands caressing each other and Jonghyun tried not to think about her words.

In five months a lot could happen, he knew about it and even though he truly wanted her to go not only for what it meant to their relationship but also because of the good professional opportunity it was, he still felt a little scared.

He wasn’t before, so maybe it all had to do with the conversation he just had with her mother. Real life wasn’t like on dramas. He knew of several couples where love wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for his parents, and it wasn’t enough for Lillie and Jinki, however he still believed that some couples can make it work. Even if there is a rupture in their relationship, threatening to make everything they built together come down to pieces, he believed that some relationships could be built up again, as if love was only a big game of jenga. Maybe sometimes you just take the wrong piece and everything falls down but it can be built again as long as you are willing to play the game all over again. There was hope for Lillie and Jinki since Jonghyun was sure that as long as they could they would play the game again and there was hope for them if anything went wrong.

Rin and Jonghyun rolled on the bed kissing, enjoying their time together both knowing that they wouldn’t sleep much anyway due to their “vampire” nature.

He brushed her hair away from her face with both his hands without breaking the kiss and Rin decided to roll again, pulling him with her so he was on top once again.

They both tried to recover their breath but he was more eager, kissing her down her chin and neck, delivering small butterfly kisses down her body.

Rin giggled because he often did that trying to kiss every spot of her body, many times making her ticklish.

He took a while kissing her s and she cupped his face pulling him to her lips, squishing his cheeks so his lips were pouting. “Tonight I should be the one doing it…”

“Do what?” He asked still with his lips pouting as if he was ready to kiss her and Rin stole a quick kiss from him and push him to her side on the bed again so she could climb on top of him.

“This feels like a roller coaster ride.” He said suddenly having an idea from a new story. Love was a lot like riding a roller coaster.

She raised her head from his chest that she was kissing and saw his pensive expression. “You just had an idea for a song didn’t you?”

He pursed his lips like a little kid caught on doing something naughty and Rin grabbed her hair so it wouldn’t get in the way and restarted her attack on him, kissing his chest here and there, moving her hands down his body, rubbing herself on him. He seemed to like it since he released a moan and she got more confident, kissing his stomach now and down to his happy trail.

“Rin?” He swallowed nervously raising his head to see what she was doing and she looked back at him brightly before she sat over his lap and grabbed his semi erected that she started ing, moving her hand slowly up and down on it. She didn’t stop there and leaned forward kissing his lips. He moved his hips up, greedy for more friction, since she was still slowly moving her hand on him and Rin got the cue moving her hand faster.

Jonghyun closed his eyes for a brief moment and bit his lower lip in pleasure before he decided to grab her by her hips and pull her over to his . Rin moaned, placing her hands on the hot skin of his chest, feeling him at her entrance. They grinded against each other and Rin released a cry when he at her neck, his tongue her skin, tasting her. She was sure he truly tasted her, inhaling her scent that he loved so much.

That thought made her realize that the candle scent was more spread around the room now and she wondered if it was having an effect on him, she didn’t like the scent much but it seemed to please him, since he was hard and ready and clearly aroused, so if it was all her work or the candle helped didn’t matter.

“I love you so much…” He said against her skin, his hands moving on her back, tracing her skin, memorizing her body while he kissed her s, teasing her hard .

She caressed the back of his head, slightly pushing him against her chest, making him her , the vision making the ache inside her to duplicate.

She was going to miss that so much. It was ridiculous how she was so scared of doing skinship with him before, how it took her a long time to kiss him, to allow him to caress her like that.

His hands on her back descended to her that he d while his mouth searched for hers, his tongue parting between her lips and she wasn’t able to answer to him.

She probably didn’t have to, he knew what she felt already and if he didn’t he could feel it with every touch, with every kiss or caress.

Rin pushed him down on the bed again and he rolled with her so she would be beneath him. She wrapped her legs around him almost immediately giving him the sign that she was ready, that she couldn’t wait anymore.

It was funny how they always started slow but were quickly to undress and satisfy their bodies as if they were always worried that they wouldn’t seal the deal.

However that time he seemed to wait, his fingers caressing her between her legs, parting her lower lips exploring her where no one did, caressing her oris making her cry in pleasure.

He didn’t stop even though she grasped his shoulder, even though she was soaking his fingers with her wetness, all of her crying for release.

“I’m so tempted to kiss all of you again...” he mumbled joining his head with hers, his nose rubbing against her cheek, his warm breath tickling her neck. “To kiss you were I am touching…” He nibbled at her ear while she arched her back against him, feeling his hot member, his finger entering her slightly while his thumb rubbed her. “To taste you and smell you…all of you…God Rin…You make me go insane…”

She wrapped her arms around him, raising her lips to his, tears of pleasure on her eyes. “I-I’m close…” She confessed in a whisper pressing her lips against his.

They rarely spoke during , which was also something that was slowly changing. They liked to give more importance to what they were feeling, normally sharing it with actions more than words and yet his outburst seemed to have an effect on her, it turned her on.

“What do you want Rin, tell me!”

She groaned frustrated because he knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed more than anything.

“Please…now…”

“Now? Want to come now?” as a cue he increased the speed of his thumb, pressing the bundle of nerves that was making her go over the edge and she raised her hips releasing a deeper cry.

“No…you inside me…”

This time he didn’t anymore, pressing his tip against her entrance, placing his hands on the mattress beside her body and he entered her fully while she arched her lower body to help him enter her quickly.

She moaned satisfied and he slowly started ing into her, doing his best to control his pleasure and watch her instead.

Five months with no , without being able to feel that, without that intimate connection, without her smell, the way her skin felt against his, her kisses…

He groaned in a mix of pleasure with ache and kissed her, his lower body getting a life of its own since he was now losing control moving faster even though he was trying the opposite a few second before. Rin didn’t complain, her moans rising in intensity to the point that she covered with one hand ashamed of the lack of control she was having. However he didn’t mind at all, he was loving it, knowing that he was having that effect on her. Jonghyun grabbed her hand from pulling it away and instead covered her lips with his, kissing her sloppily since his attention was on another part of his body.

She came after a while biting his lower lip slightly making him frown in pain but he didn’t mind since her satisfied expression under him was overwhelming and extremely y.

She watched him with dazed satisfied eyes while he kept moving and caressed his chest and neck, brushing her nails on his skin.

“I love you very very much too.” She answered panting and he couldn’t hold it anymore and came, his body falling over hers, head over her shoulder.

Rin hugged him tightly trying not to leave any space between them and closed her eyes trying to memorize that moment, the way he felt inside her, his hot sweaty skin, his wet lips on her shoulder, his hair touching her chin, his hot breathing on her neck, his masculine scent, everything.

That moment was too perfect and she wished she would never forget it.