"I’ll go to you first

At the end of a different road

I'll wipe your cheeks

That are wet with tears"

(Tell me What to Do - SHINee)

Jonghyun reached his car that was parked in front of Rin’s apartment and searched for his car keys inside his pocket.

“Oh!” Something was missing, something really important to him that he lost several times already. “My phone?!”

He tried to think about the last time he had it until he remembered how he lend it to Rin for her to take a  picture of him eating bread  looking like a puppy. She probably placed it inside her bag and forgot to give it back to him.

He smiled because that meant he had to see her again that night and then turned around in the direction of the convenience store where he left her.

Jonghyun pulled his hood over his head, watching the small clouds of his breath disappear in front of him while he walked. It was a cold dark night like he liked and he felt happy.

He was so distracted humming to himself a possible melody that he was working on when he reached the entrance of the store. As soon as his eyes saw Rin he realized something was wrong.

She was grasping one of the shelves, several products on the floor, her phone in her hand and a scared expression on her face.

Jonghyun followed her gaze and saw the man with the knife immediately which made him panic.

He instinctively touched his pocket forgetting that he didn’t have his phone to call the police anymore.  He looked around searching for some help but the street was mostly deserted, if he didn’t come back no one would have helped Rin and she could get hurt, or worse. That solo thought made him act up. He was a man of actions and Jonghyun pulled his hood better around him and quickly run inside the store not sure of what he could do but following his instincts.

In that moment he could ruin everything. He could ruin his career, he could ruin his life, and he could even lose it.  However Jonghyun wasn’t thinking about that, he could only see Rin looking at him, widening her eyes when she recognized him.

The man with the knife reacted late stumbling on his feet probably drunk and Jonghyun had time to grab what was close, a can of soda and throw it at the man’s head that covered his head with both hands giving Jonghyun enough time to grab a mop from beside the counter and use it to hit the man on his head.

Jonghyun was ready to do it again but the man fall forward taking several cups of instant noodles with him.

Even Jonghyun was surprised with how easy it was to knock out the man. His conditions couldn’t be good to start with.

Jonghyun kicked the knife away, ignoring the bloody blade and he barely had time to sigh of relief when Rin jumped into his arms trembling.

“It’s ok, it’s ok now.” He caressed her back hugging her against him and without releasing her he looked at his surroundings finally seeing the hurt owner of the store. “We need to call an ambulance and the police. “

Rin moved away sniffing, and she opened her bag trembling “I thought I was going to die!”

Jonghyun grabbed her hand trying to calm her down and searched for his phone to call.

“Use mine instead.” Rin said giving hers to him “Better they don’t connect you to this.”

She was right and he was going to call when the man on the floor called for help, covering his bloody wound with one hand.

Jonghyun rushed to him and with Rin’s help they helped the man sit behind the counter.

“I’ll call.” The man said. For whatever reason his savior couldn’t be seen by the police and he respected that. He owned him his life “You can go. I don’t have any surveillance cameras. I’ll say I did it.” The man leaned on the counter “That I knocked him down and I did it alone.”

“Are you sure?” Jonghyun didn’t feel well leaving a hurt man behind.

“I’m sure. I’m ok. “

“We will wait outside.” Jonghyun said grabbing Rin’s hand. “We will wait until the ambulance arrives.”

“Thank you.”

Jonghyun nodded his head and pulled Rin outside the store and into the other side of the street.

“If we stay here they will see us.”

“Just until someone arrives to help.” He couldn’t simply leave a wounded man alone with a crazy drunk man unconscious on the floor.

It was only ten minutes but for Rin it felt like ages. She couldn’t look at the store anymore and she couldn’t stop trembling so he hugged her against him and she closed her eyes pretending to be far away from there. For sure she would never enter that store again.

They hid behind a car, against the wall of the building and suddenly the lights of the ambulance and the police car made her part away from Jonghyun just enough so she could see.

“Good. He is safe now…lets go.” He grabbed her hand firmly and they walked all the way to her apartment only stopping when they reached the door.

There was a moment of silence and he hesitated before he entered the building, looking at her instead.

She was pale and with no reaction and Jonghyun grabbed her by her shoulders “I can’t stay. I need to check on Jinki but you can’t be alone either.”

His words made tears come to her eyes and she lost it completely sobbing. “I really thought I would die and I wouldn’t see you again or my sister and my parents.” She hiccupped and he hugged her against him.

His heart was still beating fast and he couldn’t believe he just knocked out a man and saved her. He didn’t feel heroic at all, he was still scared. He could have lost her. He could have died.

“Are you hurt?” He asked after a while. He completely forgot to check it.

She shook her head negatively and then kissed him which surprised Jonghyun. He was wearing his hood but it was still dangerous, however he didn’t push her away and cupped her face, caressing her wet cheeks kissing her back.

“You saved me.”

She grasped his sweater kissing him again and again and Jonghyun was the one who had to make her stop it since they were in the middle of the street. Instead he held her in his arms and caressed her back softly.

“We are truly turning into a drama couple.” He chuckled softly “Now I can understand what Jinki said he felt when he punched Alex for hurting Lillie. You really become blind when it comes to protect someone you love.”

More than that, he risked everything he had, including his life for her. He was taking care of her like he promised, like he was never able to do for any other woman before her. It satisfied him, it made him feel as if he really become a man.

Rin smiled cleaning her tears “It’s the curse…that lake curse!”

“Whatever it was I told you that our love is stronger than any curse!” He brushed her hair away from her wet cheeks “You can’t stay alone tonight. I’ll take you to your parents place.”

“Not my mother…she will find a way to blame you and me and…”

“I don’t care! You can’t be alone! I need you to stay with someone that loves you as much as I do. No discussion!”

“What happened?” Rin’s mother asked pulling Rin away from Jonghyun.

Not only did they ring the bell in the middle of the night but Jonghyun’s sweater was dirty with blood.

“I told you she would freak out!” Rin cried pulling her arm away from her mother.

“Are you hurt?” the older woman asked Rin.

“No. She is fine and this blood is not ours!”

“I didn’t ask you!” Rin’s mother shushed Jonghyun. She still looked very scary wearing a bedroom robe over her night gown.

“Can you stop being mean to him?! “ Rin asked hugging herself, near a mental breakdown. The last thing she wanted was for her mother to be mean to Jonghyun after what just happened.  “He just saved me for being stabbed by a mad man.”

“W-what?”

“It’s a long story and Rin is very nervous. Maybe you should sit.” He suggested “Maybe drink some tea. I can make the tea.”

Her mother didn’t say no to the offer and Jonghyun cleared his throat before he entered the kitchen ready to search for the tea.

He didn’t take longer than five minutes but when he entered the living room carrying two mugs with tea he saw Rin in her mother’s arms.

The view made him warm and he couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes bad things bring something good. He was sure that after Rin told her mother about their relationship they weren’t as close as they were on that night. So at least that made them get closer.

“I made tea!” His voice interrupted the moment and Rin pulled away from her mother cleaning her teary eyes.

The older woman raised her eyes to Jonghyun and he knew right away that something was different in the way she was looking at him. She was grateful for sure.

Jonghyun placed the mugs in the table in front of both women and rubbed his hands “I was hoping Rin could stay here. She probably told you what happened already and I can’t simply let her stay home alone. She is too nervous.”

“You did well.”

“I should go to sleep.” Rin said standing up completely ignoring the tea and Jonghyun looked at it sadly before his gaze fall on Rin again.

“Sure you should rest.”

He wasn’t expecting what Rin did next, not in front of her mother.

She closed the distance between them and kissed his lips softly “Be safe going back home.”

He almost lost his ability to speak but he managed somehow “I will.”

She stepped away and Jonghyun waited for a look of anger from her mother but there wasn’t any. She was watching them with a blank expression that he couldn’t read.

“Can you wait here for me?” Rin’s mother asked before she left with her daughter and Jonghyun sat on the couch of the now empty living room eyeing the mugs with tea.

He grabbed one and started to drink it. It was a waste to throw it away and in the lack of alcohol that was better than nothing.

He was with his head between his hands, eyes closed and head downcast far away in his thoughts when her mother came back into the room.

He raised his head and quickly stood up from the couch “I drank the tea. I-I—“

He was so awkward and didn’t know what to say which was rare for him.

That kiss completely ruined his reputation again.

“It’s ok.”

“I left the one meant for you.” He rubbed his head “How is she?”

“She fell asleep.”

“I’m sorry to come in the middle of the night but I really couldn’t stay with her. My friend needs me too.”

She was going to accuse him of not being able to take care of her, he was sure of it.

However…

“Thank you!” The older woman bowed making him bow in return embarrassed. She stopped him and grabbed his hands in hers. She had warm petite hands like his mother and Jonghyun couldn’t help but compare.

“I was wrong all this time.” Rin’s mother said in a low voice probably not wanting to wake up Rin. Jonghyun knew for sure that Rin’s sister wasn’t at home and her dad mentioned before that he was a heavy sleeper which explained why he didn’t wake up with all the commotion “ Age doesn’t matter when it comes to taking care of someone. To taking care of my daughter. You protected her, you did it alone and I know how much you risked with it. My daughter didn’t waste any time remembering me of it. I’m sorry!”

“I love your daughter!”

“And she loves you.”

“I’m serious about her. I can’t marry her right now due to my professional life but I will in the future. I’m serious. You have my word.”

“And I trust it. You are a very special, brave, reliable and hardworking man. My daughter is lucky to have you.”

Jonghyun almost felt like crying. Was he finally receiving Rin’s mother blessing?!

He was probably smiling too much since her mother laughed with his reaction.

“Does that make you really happy?”

“Absolutely. Thank you!” He bowed again and her mother bowed too making the moment even more awkward than it already was.

Jonghyun checked his phone after he left Rin’s parents house. He had two calls from Jinki and one voice mail message of a very drunk Jinki asking for help and another from Chul, the owner of the bar Jinki often went to saying he drove Jinki back to the dorm.

It was one of the longest nights of Jonghyun’s life and he was so tired physically and emotionally but another person special to him needed his help.

It took him a few minutes to arrive to the dorm and as soon as he did he opened Jinki’s bedroom door and peeked inside.

“Old man?”

A grunt was the answer he got and Jonghyun entered the dark room using his phone to illuminate his step until the lamp beside Jinki’s bed. He turned it on making the older man hide under the covers so the light wouldn’t blind him.

“My head hurts keep the light away…”

Jonghyun chuckled and sat beside Jinki in the bed making him roll closer to the wall so he could have space.

“I’m sorry it took me a while to come save you. I had a big adventure of my own involving a crazy robber with a knife and my scared girlfriend.”

“What?!” Jinki peeked from under the covers blinking his small drunk eyes.

“Forget it. I’ll tell you tomorrow once you are completely sober.” Jonghyun caressed Jinki's forehead checking his temperature “Did Chul give you hangover medicine?”

“Yes…” Jinki groaned “I feel like !”

“You do look like !”

Jinki groaned again covering his face and Jonghyun pulled the covers down.

“You will melt under the covers if you keep doing that.”

“The light!” Jinki cried and Jonghyun turned it off both staying in complete darkness but this way Jinki could uncover his head and he didn’t mind it. He liked the dark.

Jonghyun’s eyes slowly got used to the lack of light and he heard Jinki breathing deeply.

“Was it because of Lillie?”

Jinki didn’t answer but Jonghyun felt the bed move and a soft sound made him suspicious. The problem wasn’t the light but what Jonghyun would see with it.

“I can’t forget her.” his hyung’s voice came muffled from the covers again but even that couldn’t trick Jonghyun.

Jinki was crying and so like him he didn’t want the others to worry because of that. It was probably the alcohol and all the pain of the last weeks. He reached his limit. Everyone reaches it sooner or later.

Jonghyun his lips and placed his hand on Jinki’s forehead.

“Everything will be better with time. Nothing is definitive, only death. Lillie is alive breathing at the other side of the world. Maybe tomorrow she will be back…” Jinki hiccupped and Jonghyun felt it with his hand but didn’t say anything “Maybe she won’t but there are so many other people who love you and need you. Me, SHINee, your family and friends…”

Jinki placed his hand over Jonghyun’s and he got the message. It was ok as long as he stood there by his side in silence. That was enough.

Jonghyun sighed and leaned his head against the wall behind him, Jinki’s hand motionless over his.

What a long long night.

Rin felt as if she went back in time.

Like when she was a little girl she entered the kitchen and saw her mother humming to herself preparing breakfast.

“Mom?”

She turned to her with a huge smile and then motioned for her to sit. “Your father left for work just now but I prepared your favorite breakfast!”

Rin was wearing some of her sister’s clothes since she didn’t dare to use her bloody sweater from the night before and sat at the table feeling like a scared little girl.

She didn’t say anything watching her mother place several dishes in front of her on the table. That didn’t seem like breakfast at all but more like a feast.

“I was waiting for you too!” Her mother said sitting beside her “I wanted to talk with you.”

Rin didn’t want to talk about what happened the previous night again and she was going to say that when her mother spoke again.

“About Jonghyun.”

“No, not again mom!” Rin shook her head but her reaction didn’t seem to be enough to scare her.

“I talked with him yesterday, about what he did and about how I’ve been acting these last months.”

“I don’t get it. Did you scold him again after what he did for me?”

“No. I praised and thanked him and I apologized.”

Rin stood quiet carefully listening. She truly wasn’t expecting that.

“I recognized that I was wrong, that he might be a good husband in the future.”

“Are you saying that you accept him as my boyfriend?”

“Yes I am.”

Rin opened and closed a few times completely speechless and then hugged her mom before she stood up.

“I need to call him right away! I’ll be back!”

Her mother tried to stop her but it was too late.

Jonghyun woke up with his phone vibrating inside his pants pocket which tickled him. He opened his eyes and straightened his neck that was falling to the left. Then he caressed it since it hurt like hell and sat on the bed – Jinki’s bed.

He fell asleep beside him on his bed the night before, holding his hand.

His sister would die with that!

Jonghyun took his hand away careful not to wake Jinki up and he vowed to never tell a living soul about what just happened.

Jinki was sleeping peacefully under the covers as if he was a beautiful butterfly hidden under a cocoon and didn’t notice anything.

Jonghyun took his phone from his pocket and answered the call with his eyes half open.

“SHE ACCEPTED YOU!” Rin screamed in his ear, which was a painful wakeup call and yet it made him smile.

“She told you then?”

“Yes just now! I’m so happy! We can finally be at peace. And my mother will chill now.”

Jinki moved on the bed and Jonghyun slide his feet to the floor siting at the edge of the bed.

“Yes after all, the curse blessed us.”

“What a bless!” She seemed so happy that he couldn’t help but smile with her. “Now I don’t need to go to London anymore. I can stay!”

His smile faded and Jonghyun moved his neck frowning with the pain. He hoped he didn’t strain it. “Wait a second. Why shouldn’t you go to London?”

“Because no need to prove my mother anything anymore.”

“Yes but besides it being a promise to your mother it was a good professional opportunity. You said so.”

“You say I work too much too.”

“Well I also work too much and yet I’m not giving up on it.”

“I’m not giving up either I’m just saying I’m not going on a trip to a place far away from you!”

Her voice was a little raspy now and he knew she was upset.

“Going to this internship is a big opportunity. It’s like when I was casted in SM. If I hesitated I wouldn’t be who I am now. It doesn’t matter if your mother accepted me. We agreed on this being the best decision for you and I told you that I will wait, that we can do this.”

“Are you having cold feet now that my mother accepted us?!” She asked in anger and Jonghyun tried to talk but she interrupted him “You aren’t afraid to lose me! I’m the only one actually afraid that our relationship might not survive this!”

“Well yes because you don’t have faith in us!”

She didn’t answer and hang up on him instead.

“Well great!” He groaned caressing his neck.

“Everything is going to be alright!”

Jinki’s voice made Jonghyun jump in the bed and the older man placed his hand on Jonghyun’s forehead with small sleepy swollen eyes  “Nothing is definitive…only death!”

Jinki nodded his head slowly and solemnly. He was repeating Jonghyun’s words from the night before and Jonghyun pushed Jinki away making him fall to the bed.

“It’s not funny old man!”

Jinki laughed a little until he started crying with pain “My head hurts like hell!”

“Aigo Get up! I’ll get you breakfast!”

Jonghyun raised his fist to knock on the door and he didn’t hesitate. He knew Rin was back home, for sure working, and that she was avoiding his phone calls because she was hurt with him.

She didn’t answer at all but he knew she was inside.

“Rin, open the door. This is ridiculous.” He turned around to check the hallway and pulled the hood of his sweater up “I can’t be outside for long.”

She didn’t answer and he knocked again softly “I know you are upset but won't you give me a chance to explain myself?” He sighed leaning his ear against the door feeling ridiculous “I didn’t sleep much Rin. I had so many things to think about…”

He pulled away from the door when he felt it open a little and she peeked outside.

He pondered on pushing the door further but he didn’t want to at the same time.

Rin always established lines he couldn’t cross in their relationship.

At first it was because he was an idol and she didn’t want to date one. Also he lied to her.

But the main reason behind all the lines she crossed was that she was too afraid to trust and end up hurt.

He should respect it. He always tried to respect those lines.

No dating an idol.

No more lies.

No skinship.

No kissing.

No .

Slowly he was able to cross all of them and show her that it was safe to reach the next level.

This was only another line to cross and he would do it respecting her. Following her timing.

“Go home and sleep.” She answered softly her fingers on the side of the door, fingers that he caressed making her move her hand away hiding it behind the door that closed a bit more.

It was as if only his touch was able to make her forget her anger.

Jonghyun sighed but didn’t move away.

“You said you didn’t want to travel Rin because you were afraid we would be like Lillie and Jinki. That somehow distance and being away from each other would change what we have. But if you think carefully you are doing it already.” He placed his hand on the side of the door and she moved her eyes to him listening “We live a few neighborhoods away from each other and yet you are already building a barrier between us, a distance I can’t seem to cross. Sometimes those kind of barriers are worse than physical ones.”

She didn’t move but closed a door a little more making him have to tilt his head to try and see her.

“Rin, when are you going to stop being afraid and trust us?”

She didn’t answer and instead closed her door.

Jonghyun leaned his head against it knowing that she was on the other side doing the same.

It felt familiar to arrive to the dorm and find a huge rack of clothes at the door, probably brought by one of the coordis, but seeing the dorm empty and silent didn’t, even though it was the middle of the night. However Jinki was home, his old sneakers that he loved to wear were by the door and Jonghyun didn’t lose much time finding the older man, sitting in the dining room drinking soju from a mug.

“Want to drink together?”

That was all that he said when he saw him and Jonghyun nodded his head sitting in front of him.

“You didn’t go home!” Jinki observed touching the side of his black mug with a white polar bear.

“No.”

He wasn’t sure why he was there but when Jonghyun noticed he was driving back to the place he called home for years, maybe to check on Jinki or maybe just because he didn’t want to go home just yet.

He should warn his mother if he wasn’t going to sleep home.  After drinking with Jinki he probably wouldn’t.

Jinki shared his mug with Jonghyun and he grabbed it drinking from it too.

“Tell me.” Jinki asked watching Jonghyun swallow down half a mug of soju in one go.

Jonghyun finished drinking with a satisfied interjection and placed the mug on the table for Jinki to fill up again.

“Rin is upset with me.”

“Oh. Why?”

“Her mother finally accepted us and now she is upset. God must hate me!”

Jinki chuckled, his time to drink.

“I told her to go to London. To go after what is important for her career now, that I wouldn’t go anywhere.”

Jinki pulled the mug away from his lips.

“She says I don’t worry about us that we will end up like…”

Jonghyun words died on his lips realizing what he was going to say and Jinki looked at him expressionless.

“Me and Lillie?”

“Yes.” He shook his head “I’m sorry Jinki. The last thing you want is me bringing that all up again.”

“It’s ok. Actually…” Jinki rubbed his ear “Today Min Hee….”

“The rookie?”

“Yes…she kissed me and I kissed her back.”

“Wow! I wasn’t expecting that!”

It was true that Jinki tastes sometimes were fickle. He would change his field of interest quickly. One week he liked cooking and the next he would like baseball and yet when he started liking something for real it would stay. When he loved, he truly loved so Jonghyun wasn’t expecting him to forget Lillie so quickly, not after the previous night when he cried so much.

“I wasn’t either. I don’t have feelings for her.” Jinki explained grasping the mug with both hands “But…she kissed me and she is hot and I was needy and I needed a way out from this…”

Jonghyun knew what this meant. The pain and despair he felt.

“And she is nice. Yesterday I went to Lillie’s place, I was there like an idiot laying in her bed thinking about what we went through together and what she asked from me and I felt like all the sacrifices she made were for this…for me to keep going. I even teared up like an idiot.”

“It’s ok to cry when it hurts.”

He didn’t say he noticed how Jinki cried the previous day but his friend probably knew already.

“And it does hurt so much sometimes and I know she is hurting too and it’s like we are two big idiots. She told me to be happy and I decided I’m going to try. I’m not sure if Min Hee will make me happy but she makes me feel loved and I like her. We have many things in common. “

“I’m happy for you Jinki.”

He didn’t forget her after all. He was just going to take a step forward.

Jinki drank from his mug and kept talking. He was talking so much that night that Jonghyun was sure that he truly needed it.  “But when I kissed her back I was thinking about Lillie and I felt awful for doing it to Min Hee. I’m an right?”

“No. We are human we search for connections and sometimes they start not for the most beautiful reasons. You said you like her company. That’s a start.”

“I just love Lillie so much that I almost want to give up on everything and fly to her country to search for her. I sound like a crazy person! I never thought something like this would happen to me!”

“She would hate you if you did that. You are her idol too and she knows how this is important for you.”

“I know!”

“What she did even though you don’t understand or approve was a beautiful thing. It’s selfless. She gave her happiness away to preserve the memory you had of her. It’s a beautiful love story and she wanted to keep it that away.”

“Really?” Jinki frowned slightly “I never understood those kind of kids that asked their parents to buy them toys but never took them away from the box and kept them on a shelf.”

“Like Kibum?” Jonghyun chuckled and Jinki nodded his head.

Event though they kept teasing him they liked his collection of toys.

“I mean. What is the use of having a toy you love in a shelf? At least when you play even if you break it you know you did all you could with it. The memory of a broken toy is there but you also have the memories of the amount of times you played with it. It’s much more meaningful than having the toy intact on a shelf.”

Jonghyun knew what Jinki meant. He didn’t think like Lillie. He didn’t want to preserve the memory of their relationship with only the good times they spent. If it was up to him, if she let him choose he would have wanted to go until the end even if it meant ruining everything they had, because at least there would be a chance for them to be together longer, for new memories to be made and he would know he did all he could for it. Hell maybe it would have worked out. He would do everything to make it work out.

Who knows, maybe the toy wouldn’t ever be broken or they could fix it together.

“That’s really true. I believe the same but…some people are too afraid to break it and prefer to look at the memories fondly and suffer with the all what ifs instead with the possibility of completing ruining something so special.”

“That’s why I’m moving on. I’m trying to acknowledge her effort even though I don’t accept it.”

“I should get myself a mug too!” Jonghyun stood up.

“Maybe Rin is not that different from Lillie.” Jinki said “Maybe she is too scared to break up something so special for her too.”

“Yes but keeping it inside a box is not exactly the best idea!”

“Are you admitting that you are her toy?” Jinki raised an eyebrow amused and Jonghyun ignored him, trailing off to the kitchen.

Rin sat in front of her laptop trying to work. She didn’t have much work now that her trip to London was approaching but she still had one small webpage for a small business to finish. She wasn’t worried since she had time and she knew exactly what to do. Still she felt uneasy because she didn’t talk with Jonghyun ever since he came to visit her. Well they didn’t exactly talk during that moment but she heard what he had to say and she felt bad about it.

She was also missing his voice more than what was expected to, so she the application on her phone to listen to Blue Night. It was past midnight already and it was near the end since she was trying to fight against her feelings and not listen to it at all. In the end her heart won over her stubbornness.

The ironic thing was that he was talking about a message he received from a listener whose boyfriend was away in another country working.

The fact that the listener expected Jonghyun to comment on something that unknowingly was so close to his heart almost made Rin laugh. Instead she closed her laptop, crossed her legs in front of her on the floor and grabbed her phone so she could listen to it properly.

“Oh long distance relationships are complicated. We can say that we can talk with the person we are dating everyday and there are so many ways nowadays. We can send email, calls, there are video calls too but it isn’t the same as meeting the person. Personally I prefer meeting someone than calling. There are so many communication aspects that are lost when you are only talking with someone trough a call. Also the skinship you can’t do.” He chuckled and Rin bit her lower lip knowing exactly how skinship was important for him.

But if he was saying all that why did he want to send her away?!

Why was he being so cruel when he was the first one to say it was awful to have a long distance relationship?!

“I actually have a friend that was in a long distance relationship. I hope he doesn’t get upset that I am sharing his experience but it’s something that made me think these last days. His girlfriend that had to travel, broke up with him because their relationship was withering with the distance and she felt like it was the best thing to end it before they started blaming each other about their misery. She wanted to preserve it has a good memory rather than a painful one. However isn’t breaking up for that reason already a painful memory in itself?!”

So he was going to talk about Lillie and Jinki after all.

“My friend doesn’t understand her way of thinking. He says that their relationship shouldn’t be like a toy saved inside a box, that even though its praise worthy that you want to cherish and save only good memories, you also should risk it and go through the bad ones.

I think my friend is right. Also I think that this long distance relationships sometimes aren’t only a matter of miles between both sides, sometimes one side builds a barrier in the relationship and even if you are next to each other there is still a long distance separating you. Some people are so scared to get hurt that they build true barriers, stronger than any possible physical distance.

But I believe that when there is love and two people willing to fight for it then you can break those barriers, they cease to exist with few words, sometimes even with a gaze. There is nothing that can make two people in love stay away from each other if they truly want to. Years can pass but when you meet again if both want to relive that love than it is as if time didn’t pass.

So I’m sure the listener will be able to wait for her boyfriend. You might even break up and give it a time or say you moved on. But when you do that, sometimes it doesn’t mean you don’t love that person anymore, just that you accepted to keep living your life instead of sinking in sadness.

It doesn’t mean that you are forgetting everything you lived together or felt. Just that you are saving it in a memory and you decided to make new ones. Doesn’t mean you won’t want to get back together with that person in the future. I believe you can rebuild an old relationship, make it work, even after a break up. If the listener loves her boyfriend and he loves her back then it can work. Just don’t be afraid and build unnecessary barriers.”

He introduced the next song right away and Rin stood motionless grabbing her phone.

He did talk about Lillie and Jinki but at the same he didn’t. She was sure he was talking more about their relationship than his friends. Worse, she felt as if he was sending a message to her. He probably was since she wasn’t answering his calls or messages and he knew she would listen to Blue Night. So that listener story came in with the perfect timing.

She was the only one in that relationship that since the start made everything to push him away, to make him give up and yet he never did.

Yes she was going to live on the other side of the world for a few months. It wasn’t the end of the world. It just meant they wouldn’t be together as much as before. It didn’t mean they would end up forgetting each other. He was right. The only person trying to create a distance between them was her.

Jinki rolled on his bed and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. His game was still open but he closed it since he didn’t feel like playing. It was raining a lot outside and one memory came to his mind.

He didn’t hesitate writing what he felt at the moment, like he didn’t hesitate sending it to Lillie. She was going to read it. He knew it since he could see when the other person read the message with that app. She never answered ever since they broke up but he got used to those one side conversations they had, sometimes where he would simply say something random, make a joke, or send her an angry message. Nothing worked and with time they started to be less and less.

Jinki didn’t send her one in two weeks and he knew Lillie noticed it and it probably hurt her as much as it hurt him.

“It’s raining today.”

That day he had a date with Min Hee. Their first date. It was ok. He didn’t have as much fun as he usually did with Lillie but he enjoyed it. Min Hee wasn’t funny and normally didn’t get his sense of humor but she was very sweet and they could talk about music that he liked very much.

“Remember when we went to that cute coffee shop with a black cat on the door once? BlackCatucino! That’s the name we gave it! kekekeke. Remember how it was raining a lot when we left it and we had no umbrella because we both forgot so I pulled my coat over our heads and we ran all the way to my car together? We were so close, running together, bumping against each other. I could smell your perfume and you couldn’t stop laughing because we bumped so much against each other and I was awful avoiding all the big water puddles splashing you like a kid. In the end we were even more wet than if we truly ran without my coat. But you weren’t upset. I wasn’t either. We entered my car and laughed so much that we end up kissing not caring about our wet clothes or hair or the fact that the seats of my car would get drenched. I had to use Kibum’s hair dryer to try and dry them. It was hard work but I did it with a smile because it was one of my most precious memories.

I never told Kibum by the way.

I never took you for granted although at the time it never crossed my mind that there was a chance that I would never see you again.

I won’t ever forget any of the memories we shared and I don’t mean only the good ones. I mean the other ones too. When we fought, when I hurt you and you hurt me. I won’t forget.

But I’m going to respect your sacrifice even if I don’t agree with it.

Just never ask me to forget us. “

Jinki reread his message. He didn’t write a goodbye in the end of it. It wasn’t a goodbye.

He was certain that maybe someday in the future they would cross each other’s paths again.

After all the impossible happened before already and they met and fall in love. Who says it can’t happen a second time?!

That was his last message for Lillie.

Lillie was listening to Blue Night. She did it every night, well Korea night and afternoon for her while she took care of her father.

It was soothing to listen to Jonghyun speak, not only because his voice was beautiful but also because it was a part of the happiest period of her life, of her past, of Jinki.

Normally she would draw while listening to it or read another book. She read more on those last months than she did in all her time living in Korea.

However that afternoon her book was forgotten beside her drawing materials and she was reading a message on her phone. She read all of his messages too many times to count, sometimes she wanted to answer and it hurt her so much that she couldn’t, to the point that tears would come out without her consent.

That message was different from the others.

It wasn’t a funny joke he remembered, a request for her to answer or a question about how she was.

It was a warning. He was moving on.

She reread the message again knowing that he probably knew already that she read it and didn’t expect an answer back.

He wasn’t wrong. She didn’t answer back, instead she grabbed a tissue from her bag and cleaned her eyes.

Everyone was now moving forward and only Lillie and her father stayed stuck in time.

He was the one in a coma and yet she felt as if she was too, daydreaming with the day she would be able to go back to when she was happy with Jinki.

It was better that way.

She made her decision. It was perhaps the wrong one but the only one possible when her father needed her.  

Jonghyun knew he would meet her. He even checked his hair before he left the broadcast station to be sure that he looked ok to meet her.

Rin was like always beside his car waiting for him. She had an umbrella over her head and the heavy rain was falling over it.

In quick steps he joined her under the umbrella and helped her, grabbing it, raising it more so both could fit under it.

“I knew you would come!”

“I’m very predictable! I’m sorry! I keep doing this. I keep trying to ruin us.”

He smiled at her and she smiled back. He wasn’t upset. He was truly amazing.

“There isn’t anyone that knows me better than you.” Rin raised her hand and placed it over his hand that was grabbing the umbrella “I heard what you said. I will stop. I will stop building these barriers.”

“I knew you would listen to it. It’s your decision Rin but I love you and if you do this trip, if it takes 5 months, one year than be it. I’ll be waiting for you. We will never say goodbye. I’m sure of it.”

He raised his eyes and peeked under the umbrella at the rain. “It’s so beautiful!”

“You are beautiful!” She answered wrapping her arms around his chest beneath his jacket and he hugged her back.

“We probably shouldn’t be doing this here…not that I mind but…”

She moved away and looked at him with urgency. “I’m going. I’m going to London and once I come back I won’t leave you ever again!”

Slowly the corners of his lips raised and he placed his hand on her back pulling her to his arms again.

“I’ll be waiting!”

YAY I updated! Im so sorry! Its so small too T__T

Anyway here it is...

Happy New Year!

Going to work on other stories now!

I'll work hard so i can updated at least another story this week!

Chu ~