“All night, I draw out your face I get embarrassed at my uncontrollable imagination At some point, you have grown bigger in me Although you won’t know” Aside (SHINee)

Onew got up from bed and Jonghyun heard him talk with Key. He was trying to call Lillie and still didn’t get to her. Jonghyun shifted in bed.

He just had the strangest dream before they woke him up.

He was going to meet Rin. Everything was perfect. He was wearing a nice outfit, his hair was neatly combed and he didn’t have any worry. She was waiting for him at a park. He saw her. Her back to him. Her beautiful brown hair flowing with the wind. She was wearing a lovely flower dress and he was so excited to meet her.

He fastened his pace and got closer to her. He didn’t know what to say, he felt shy for a moment, but he knew that she would look beautiful in his eyes regardless of her appearance.

“Rin…” he said softly. She took her time to turn around smiling at him. And when she did he saw a familiar face. Her dark eyes, round nose and perfect drawn lips. His heart skips a beat. Not because he was happy, but because it brought so many sad memories to him. That was not Rin. That was his ex-girlfriend.

“Jonghyun!” she said looking at him. And that’s when he woke up.

It was almost a nightmare. He couldn’t fall in love with the same woman two times.

No! Rin wasn’t her. Rin was shy and different. She was pure and innocent, out from that life. He sighed looking at Onew talking with Key. He closed his eyes trying to get to sleep again when Onew’s handphone rang. He groaned and used his pillow to cover his head.

Being in Japan was worse. They had to share rooms and that night he was sharing it with Key and Onew. Normally Onew would sleep the night away not bothering anyone. Key was a little more problematic, especially if he decided to drink.

But that night the problem was Onew. He was so worried with his girlfriend that he couldn’t be quiet.

He turned in bed and stared at Onew talking finally with Lillie. He was worried.

"L ... finally! I was getting desperate! Is everything okay? "

"But are you okay? Were you crying? "

"OK! As soon as i arrive to Korea I’ll go to your house! "

He frowned.

"L! I won’t rest until i have you in my arms! I'll go to your home as soon as i get to Korea! Ok? "

"Whatever happens I'm here. I told you that you can tell me everything! I love you! "

He hung up and looked at Jonghyun and Key. He didn’t look that great. Maybe something did happen.

"Hyung..." Key said. "You can’t do anything! You talk to her tomorrow. Go to sleep!"

"Yes please! I haven’t slept in two nights! "Jonghyun grumbled in his bed.

Onew sighed and lay in bed but Jonghyun had a light sleep. So he could hear Onew turn in his bed wide awake while Key was sleeping like a baby.

He wouldn’t sleep again that night.

Jonghyun tried not to think about his dream. In return he replayed his conversations with Rin in his mind several times.

He needed to ask her the color of her hair. He wanted to imagine her in his dreams.

Maybe he should ask her to send him a picture. But she wouldn’t. She was so shy. And the worst thing was that she was going to ask one of him in return and then she would know who he was and that he lied to her.

And that would ruin everything. He knew that one day she would want to know him or at least see one picture of him. And when that moment happened he needed to stop talking with her.

But he wasn’t ready yet. He wanted her in his life. Maybe he met her for a reason. She was a breath of fresh air in his life.

“Can’t sleep?” Jinki whispered from his bed.

“Yeah. Thanks to you…”

“Sorry!”

“It’s not only you. I just have too many thoughts running through my head right now!”

“A girl?”

Jonghyun turned in bed looking at Onew.

“yeah! They totally ruin our lives…”

“No. They make our lives better. That’s why we can’t stop thinking about them.”

“I never thought you could be so romantic Jinkis Jinkis!”

Onew restrained a chuckle trying not to wake up Key.

“People change when they are in love.”

“No. You always had it on you. Just hidden somewhere below the weirdness.”

“So what’s her name?”

“Lillie!”

“WHAT?” Onew got up in bed looking at Jonghyun who just laughed.

Key woke up startled.

“What happened?” He looked from Onew to Jonghyun.

“Nothing. I was just joking around.” He turned to Onew “I was joking. She’s all yours!”

“Just go back to sleep!” Key grumbled covering himself with the covers.

Onew lay down again and closed his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t sleep but at least he would try to rest a little.

He heard Jonghyun whisper from his bed.

“Rin. Her name is Rin!”

“Rin is a beautiful name…” Onew answered.

“And she is beautiful!”

“I thought you met her on the internet! Did you see her photo?”

“DAMN KEY!” Jonghyun yelled. He told everyone again.

Key snorted from below the covers.

“No I didn’t see her yet. But I know that she is beautiful!”

“waaaaa! You’re in love Jong!” Onew replied.

Was he in love? Oh why was everything so hard sometimes?

Rin was updating her website/portfolio with samples from the last projects she worked on.

Jonghyun didn’t send her a message that day yet. Maybe he was busy or maybe her message was strange. She replayed her message on her head.

Jonghyun-ssi I hope you slept well. Are you back from Japan? Did you eat a lot of good things?

I bet you miss your friends and your girlfriend.

She wrote it just to know if he really didn’t have one. She needed to be sure.

I’m curious about your work. You must work with a lot of beautiful woman.

She wanted to know if he was interested in someone.

And you must know a lot of gossips on idols. Like whom they are dating or something.

She wrote the last part just to distract him from the rest.

Rin was a spy now. Trying to find more information about his love life.

But what she really wanted was to see his face. But she would never ask for a selca. She would have to send one of her too. And that scared her. And wouldn’t it be strange of her, his noona, to ask him a selca?

She bite her lip. She was a total mess since she figured out that she was falling for him. No she already has fallen for him.

She couldn’t concentrate. She was always checking her mail box for his messages. Maybe she could ask him his number and talk with him on the phone. She blushed.

She wanted to hear his voice but that meant that he was also going to hear her voice.

She had a nice voice. She shouldn’t be shy about it. Maybe she really could ask for his number. This way, as a noona she could help him better when he had problems.

Who was she trying to fool? He was the one who helped her.

Still she was going to ask for his number if he says that he is single. She could do it. She was an independent woman. She could do that right?

Jong just had the most boring company dinner ever. Yes there were some eye candy there, new pretty trainees but he wasn’t into them. He didn’t know them like he knew Rin.

He spent that day at his parents’ house. The afternoon was spent talking with his mom and noona. Until he noticed it was already time to go back to the dorm get dressed to the dinner. Now he was back to his old room at his parents’ house. He liked to sleep there. It was like going back in a time machine to the time he wasn’t famous and was only Jonghyun.

He his laptop yawning. He saw her message at the dinner party but didn’t get to answer her.

She was online though so he could chat with her.

JFrost: Rin! <3

Moongirl: Jonghyun!

JFrost: I missed you! Sorry but I had an important dinner today and couldn’t reply to you. But no, my friends didn’t miss me. They are used by now to live without seeing me for a long time and I don’t have a girlfriend.

Moongirl: that’s sad. Why?

I guess because I was waiting to meet you, he wrote and then deleted it. So cheesy and he looked like a flirt. No way, he didn’t want to scare her.

JFrost: I just didn’t find one good enough.

Moongirl: you are picky then?

JFrost: Guess I am. I want the best.

And the best is you.

He slapped himself. Cheesy Jonghyun was a no!

Moongirl: That’s good.

She didn’t look cheerful. Maybe she was down today so he decided to do something to cheer her up.

JFrost: All that talking about idols. You want to know more about Onew. Right?

Moongirl: yeah

That wasn’t the kind of answer he was expecting. Maybe something happier or some fangirling.

JFrost: Aren’t you a fan of Onew?

Moongirl: I am. He is the best. But I’m not into talking about SHINee today.

Jong groaned when he read what she wrote about Onew. Not wanting to talk about SHINee? Why? Was she angry with them?

He was going to ask her when she got another message from her.

Moongirl: What do you think about me?

Moongirl: I mean as a woman. >//<

He blushed. Was she trying to kill him or something? He would just explode and tell her his feelings.

He his lip and messed his hair with  his hands frustrated.

What should he say?!

Moongirl: You don’t have to answer. It was stupid sorry. Is just that you are my only male friend and…sorry!

No! No way! He was going to answer it. He had too.

JFrost: You are great. You are sweet, caring, humble and lovely, everything a guy looks for in a girl. And you are shy and that makes you so cute. You also can be funny and you are smart and I know I can have a deep conversation with you too. I don’t even feel like time goes by when I’m talking with you. You are perfect inside Rin and I bet that you are perfect in the outside too.

He wrote all he felt. The only thing that he didn’t write was how much he wanted to meet her and hug her. It was hard having her on his heart and not on his arms.

She took some time to answer. He saw the word writing below her name appear and disappear several times. Whatever she was writing was something she didn’t knew how to write.

Moongirl: I don’t know how am I asking this but…can we exchange phone numbers?

! He couldn’t exchange phone numbers with her. She would hear his voice. What if she recognized him? She was a shawol. She would totally know it was him.

 But he wanted to hear her. That way she would be real and he could keep her voice in his memories. Maybe if he tried to change his voice… He was a singer. He could do that.

JFrost: yes. I’ll give you mine and you call me ok?

He was losing his mind.

She saved his number on her handphone with her hand trembling.

She almost lost all hope when he said he was searching for the best girlfriend. She wasn’t her. She was older, shy and not that special.

She even didn’t want to know about Onew or SHINee.

And then he said all those things about her. She felt like crying. No one ever said something like that to her.

Now she needed to call him. She breathed in and out a few times trying to be brave and make the call.

She was so nervous. How would his voice sound?!

“Yes?”

His voice sounded muffled. But it was pretty.

“Hi! It’s me Rin!”

Her voice trembled a little. Why was she so nervous?

“I know! Nice to hear you Rin. You have a beautiful voice. I knew everything about you would be beautiful!”

His voice sounded familiar to her somehow. She couldn’t point it out, but she knew someone with a similar voice to his.

“Your voice is beautiful too and very sweet. Thank you for what you said a few minutes ago.”

“That was nothing it was just the truth anyway.”

“Now we can talk on the phone every time. Or text…”

“Yeah. This was a great idea. No more need for the chat.”

She looked at the ceiling not knowing what to say. They had so much to talk when they were writing it. Why didn’t something come out now?

“Are you there Rin?”

“Yes. I’m just thinking about what to say…”

She heard him laugh. His laugh was so powerful and manly. He was a man alright. She blushed.

She wanted to see him so much it hurt.

“You don’t have to think. We could just talk about stupid things. I don’t mind. I love to hear your voice.”

“I like to hear you too. So what are you going to talk about?”

“Are you mad with SHINee?”

“No, why?”

“You didn’t want to talk about them a few minutes ago.”

“I just didn’t. I’m strange.”

“No you’re not. You are just realizing that I’m better than them!”

He sounded so cocky. She blushed because he was right in a way. She forgot about SHINee every time he talked with her.

“You are not better. Just equally…same same!”

“No, no way! “

She giggled.

“So sing a song and I’ll evaluate it!”

She heard him breathe on the other side.

“No…I can’t sing!”

He quickly got serious .

“Why?”

“I….I’m not a good singer!”

“But you said you wanted to be a singer before.”

“That doesn’t mean I was good at singing.”

She laughed and he laughed with her.

He was so funny.

“What did you wanted to be when you were little?” Jonghyun asked her.

“A teacher!”

“REALLY? Me too!”

“You wanted to be a lot of things then…”

“I guess. I love kids.”

“Me too!” They had a lot of things in common.

“But I don’t think I’m good with them.”

“I see why you didn’t decide to be a teacher then!”

“My friend says I would be a good Preschool teacher.”

She giggled.

“For real? Why?”´

“My mom is the owner of a Preschool and since i like kids…”

“Your friend knows you well then.”

“He does but he was just making fun of me.”

“Is he the one that looks like a tokki?”

“yeah Rin..it’s that idiot!”

She chuckled. Rin. He called her Rin again without noona or any honorific.

“Can I ask you a question?”

She asked almost in a whisper.

“Yeah. Don’t be shy. No need to be shy around me.”

“Why don’t you call me noona anymore?”

“Because I don’t see you as a noona.”

He simply answered.

She gulped.

“Why?” she had to ask him.

“I don’t think about your age when I talk to you. I…l..like you Rin. You are a good friend.”

He said with a strange voice….was he shy?! Maybe?

“But if you want me to keep the honorific I’ll do it!” He added quickly his voice going back to normal.

And she got that feeling that she knew that voice again.

“No. I don’t mind that you talk like that with me. I like you too!”

She wanted to print her feelings in that like but she probably failed at it.

He stood silent for some moments and she didn’t know what else to say. It was a little awkward after she said that she liked him.

“So…what did you do today?”

“I updated my website.”

“You have a website? Cool!”

“Yes. Its work related!”

“I want to see it!”

And they started talking about work. Her work. She told him about her website and her last projects, answering some questions he made her. After that he asked her about her family and they both shared family stories. She even talked a little about her ex-boyfriend and that he was a liar. She hated liars. She couldn’t forgive him after he cheated on her.  

They were talking for almost one hour on the phone. Her hand hurt and she decided to lie down on bed talking with him.

His voice was almost a whisper. She wanted to do that for so long. Talk with her boyfriend until you are so sleepy that you can’t almost talk. The problem was that he wasn’t her boyfriend. She sighed and he interrupted what he was saying.

“Are you tired?”

“No!”

She didn’t want to stop talking with him.

“You should rest. It’s too late!”

“You should too. Since you don’t sleep for a long time.”

“I’m going to sleep tonight.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. I’ll dream with Rin’s voice!”

“Maybe I’ll dream with your voice too…”

Rin blushed saying it. She never said things like that.

“I hope so! I’ll call you tomorrow. Ok?”

“Ok!”

“Sleep well Rin!”

“Sleep well Jonghyun!”

And then he hangs up and she stayed there listening to her silent room. She missed his voice already. The way he wished her goodnight. The way her heart would jump every time she heard his manly laugh. The way is giggles would make her feel warm. She had to wait until the next day to hear him again. She felt like she had to wait forever to hear him again.

Key saw Jonghyun close the door to Onew’s room.

“So?”

“We talked. He is better. Tomorrow he will call her and everything will be fine”

Onew had a fight with his girlfriend and everyone was a little worried with him.

“I’m just going for a ride and then meet some friends for drinks. Want to come?”

“Nah. I’ll just stay here resting. I’m so tired today. Don’t drink too much; you might fall from the bicycle or something.”

“I won’t! I’m a pro!”

Key snorted and Jonghyun ignored him. Taking the bicycle with him he got into the elevator and off the building.

He mounted it and got to the gate when he saw a familiar girl stomping her feet and looking at the sky frustrated.

"Yo! Are you looking at the stars in the middle of the sidewalk? “He asked smiling.

She looked at him. She was a total mess, red puffy eyes, hair mussed, her cheeks red probably from running. Oh Lillie was suffering with the fight too. She loved the idiot.

"Jonghyun-ssi”  She yelled her face lightening up.

"Shh! Not so loud! "He looked around.

"I'm sorry!"  Lillie replied lowering her voice.

"You came to see the idiot? I knew it! You're crazy about him! "

"Yes! But I can’t go!"  She pointed at the security man.

"Oh! Follow me! "Jonghyun leaned the bike against the gate and approached the man.

"Good night!"

"Oh Good night!" The man replied smiling. He was nice most of the time.

"This is my friend. She wants to come in. Oh no better! You can add her to our list of visits. "

That way she could go in at any time. Manager Minho wouldn’t be happy but a tokki would thank him.

"I need an ID card for that."

Jonghyun turned around to her and she took her wallet from the bag.

"To which list should I add her? Yours? "

Jonghyun smiled.

"Hm! Lee Jinki ... oh no! All! “Turned back to her “this way you are our guest. Not only his! I can’t give him that pleasure! "

He wanted Onew to feel jealous. He looked so cute when he was jealous. He wasn’t used to see him like that. It was fun.

"What do I do now?" Lillie asked at him opening her cute eyes.  He could understand why that tokki liked her. She was like another tokki too.

Maybe he needed to find a puppy. No he was better with a cat. Rin was a cat. A sweet shy cat.

"Now you just need to show your ID and enter! You can visit him whenever you want! "

She bowed at him.

"Thank you very much!” She showed him a perfect smile.

"No problem! Now do me a favor and go to him. "

"Yes!"

 He fetched his bicycle while she was going away.

He remembered Onew’s face when he got home that day. He was devastated. He truly loved her. And seeing him like that, almost like he was years ago, broke his heart.

"Lillie" Jonghyun called her and she looked back. He approached her with the bike by the hand.

"I know what he did seems hasty and a bit wacky, but that's how his head works. He doesn’t mean to do any harm; he just wanted to protect you. And in his head that made sense. I don’t want to get involved in your relationship, but Jinki has a big heart. He is.... fragile. It may not look like it, but he did everything with the best of intentions ...”

"I know! He is wonderful! "

He chuckled. Fine then. She knew and was willing to get back with him. Good.

"Ok I get it! Go to him! "

"Thank you!" She thanked him again.

He hoped on his bicycle and rode it away smiling. He loved to feel the night fresh air. It was like being free. He always wanted to have a real bike but he never bought one. Maybe someday. He wondered if Rin liked bikes. They could go for a ride together.

No they couldn’t. She could never meet him. He almost forgot that.

He was so distracted by his thoughts that he almost ran over a girl.

“Sorry!” he quickly replied without stopping.

Rin was making him lose his mind.

Rin decided to go out and go to the movies with her sister. It was fun. They watched Frozen and talked about a lot of things. She almost told her sister about Jonghyun but she didn’t have the courage. She would probably think that she lost her mind. In turn her sister talked about her friends in college and about one special boy. Her little sister was falling in love, how cute was that?

Now she was going back home. She took out her phone from her bag and looked at it. She had one message from him.

“Sorry Rin I’m going out with some friends and I’ll probably get home late. I’ll send you a text to know if you are awake then. And maybe then I could call you. Oh and this might sound strange but what color is your hair? Don’t forget me. I won’t forget you.”

She sighed and smiled.  Jonghyun was so sweet. She would try to be awake and wait for his call.

She was thinking about what to answer when a guy with a cap almost ran over her with his bicycle.

She didn’t have time to say anything and he didn’t stop, just mumbling an apologize.

That was a little scary. She looked at the sky and at the star Jonghyun. It was the star closest to the moon. She giggled. He was a shining star. So beautiful but so far away that she couldn’t see how he looked like. She wanted to see it. She wanted to see him.

He would see her too but, she wasn’t ugly or anything. She was cute. Everyone said that. So he could see her too right? Then he wouldn’t have to ask the color of her hair.

And in that moment she felt different. She wasn’t scared to fight for what she wanted in her professional life so she could do it on her personal life too.

She knew exactly what to reply to him.

Jonghyun drank another shot of soju and looked at his friends. He loved nights like that. He could see people from the other tables looking at him once in a while talking about him. But he was used to it by now and he didn’t care. He was just chilling around with his friends.

He missed them, their jokes and stories about a normal life he didn’t know.

That was the strangest thing about being an idol.

He didn’t know what it was not being an idol. He started to sing so young that he didn’t got to experience a normal life as an adult.

So he liked to listen to his friends problems.

His phone ring and he knew right away that it was Rin. He excused himself from the table. He couldn’t read the message in front of them. They would see his grin and knew that something was different.

He got to the door of the males bathroom and read the message.

“My hair is black and really long.”

Like a princess he thought.

“And I’ll wait for your phone call so don’t forget to call me ok? I have one thing to ask you too. >//< Can you send me a selca? I’ll send you one too.”

Jonghyun almost dropped his phone. He stopped hearing the noisy bar and the music around him. He only could hear his heart being broken. He was losing her. He couldn’t send her a selca. He was famous, she would see who he was then and get mad at him. She hated liars, he knew, she told him. She would hate him too and he couldn’t live with that.

He needed to stop talking with her.

He let himself fall against the wall.

Everything was over.

I never know what to say here.lol

Ok finaly this fic caught up with Dating an Idol. So I can start writing them at the same time.

YES!

And I have evil plans! EVIL!

Actualy not that evil because I forgot to do something on the past chapters and now I cant do it and I had to change something on th story line because I big time! XD 

Hm...No Taemin and Minho in this chapter....I just realised it. WAAAAAA....lol sorry.

Its hard to put everyone in one chapter. No Minseo too...lol But no one cares about that cutie. XD

And yeah Jonghyun will have to face a dificult decision. What will he do?

Read the next chapter and you will know! mwahhahaha

Upvote, subscribe and comment.

I'll give ice cream to the ones who comment! hmm~ice cream. 

I miss ice cream...and I miss SHINee...and I miss Onew so much *cries*

I just hope that he's taking some time off, having fun with friends and his family.

Eat a lot baby! 

(Sorry)