*during break between part 1 and part 2 of the concert.

“waa… as expect!!! Snsd jjang!! Daebak!!!” other suju and big bang cheer them already. They foolow snsd walk down from side of stage.

“yah.. you guys always jjang!! Hehe” minzy from 2ne1 come and hug sunny from aside.

“hye guys? I heard you all gone for other competition since last week?” taeyeon asking the girl who just come. All of them change hug to each other.

“hehe.. you know.. kind of.. but this time not our time.. there were new girls group in the town.” Park boom answer taeyeon question. She is the leader for 2ne1 group.

“kyaa.. my tear like river cause of your acting..” sandara cutely stick her tongue.

“of course.. you know how strict out leader during practice..” yuri said make everyone laughing..

“are you guys try to make another scene here?”

“yeah.. so you guys will perform? Aren’t you all tired” fany look at CL who look drain beside her.

“hehe… it okay.. last week to of this semester anyway.. you all better change you make up guys.. gosh.. taeyeon look so handsome.. I may falling for taengoppa.. and Jiyong oppa completely will change to gay..” CL make everyone laugh again. Suju and bigbang come more closer to both girls group.

“princess.. kyaa… why you still look pretty in a man.” Jiyoong run a little and hug mini taeyeon tightly.

“I said so..” CL whisper to other. everyone hold a smile. Yup.. Jiyong will be gay if taeyeon is guy. His eye never move from taeyeon. Immersed 100%.

“and you, you, you, and all of you.. daebak!!” jiyong show his two thumb up. Make another member of snsd smile proudly. Kwon jiyong is a good man just too player and to open about and that make their kind of not comfortable with him. Other than that.. jiyoong always be good to them. Of course they know th main reason is course of taeyeon but at least he still good to them.

“tq oppa” seohyun bow little.. jiyong already not have attention toward that reply. He already had full attention to taeyeon.

“I wish I don’t have to do performance and sit with you all the concert” he sigh..

“but you had too am I right? Aigoo.. I want to see my dragon rant on the stage..” taeyeon cupping Jiyong face with her both of hand.

“we should go.. now.. I don’t want to puke before performance.” Minzy pull all the member of 2ne1 go to make up room. Left three aother group there.

“yah.. you!!! Put your hand down from his face!” heechul come and smack taeyeon hand from holding jiyong face.

“yah.. you gay face… don’t you dare to hit my girlfriend!” jiyong ready to fight. Heechul won’t back and look at jiyong.

“don’t even dream about it.. you the one who prefer non girlfriend with her. So.. you don’t had right..” heechul said very serious.

“at least I am not gay face like you” he said with same serious tone.

“oppa.. stop it okay.. ji.. can you please just let my oppa go?” taeyeon hold both man in front her. “girls? Care to help here?” she asked another member who just busy looking at them without worry.

“just let them.. you know they always like that when meet.” Sooyoung said without move. Just looking at them both.

“hurm.. you are right..” taeyeon let jiyong and heechul go. “I had to go to bathroom for a while. And you two.. when I am back you still like that. Don’t you ever think of talking to me this semester break” she warn before walk away.

“not even on phone?” jiyong asking in hurry before taeyeon get more far.

“nope.” Hearing the answer jiyong quickly let heechul colar go.

“then I will stop. Hehe.. hyung… I am sorry okay? But..” jiyong kick heechul right leg and run away.

“AAHHHHH!! You brat!! SH**!!” heechul scream angrily. his face red in angry. He hate that guys really really really much.

“oppa.. hehe.. aigoo.. why you always fight with Jiyong.. you know both of them love each other.” sica asking heechul on their way to the waiting room. To remove thick make up their have. They had less than 15 minute to go before 2^nd part start.

“yah.. he make taeyeon cry.. you remember how bad she cry when find out jiyong wild behavior?” heechul quickly his kicked leg after had seat on the coach with other suju guys.. while snsd member go and sit at their own place in front the mirror.

“but its about 2 years ago..” fany asking without looking.

“yes.. it 2 years ago and until now that jiyong do his night activity without take any try to stop. Why you think that taeyeon didn’t even cry or say anything about it? I cause she already gave up about it. But until when she had to hold that feeling?” heechul answered made all of them silent.. they know that.. Slightly they think about taeyeon feeling. But when taeyeon in front them.. that girl become the real actor.. they can’t see anything from taeyeon heart or mind.

“just let them oppa.. I think taeyeon unnie know what she doing.. totally know about it.” Yoona take glance to the boys before focus on mirror again.

“yeah.. I try.. but when I see him.. god know how I want to kick his .. yah.. siwon ssii.. you hurry seduce my taeyeonnie.. at least I won’t worry about her as much as now.” heechul whine to siwon. Make girls look at each other.. remember their mission to digging about siwon feel.

“so.. siwon oppa love taeyeon?” yuri raise her brows.. make siwon blush to it. Other girl giggled..

“n-no… hhyung, why are you using my name. why it always me.. huu.. you make me embarrasses.” He suppress his smile..

“using your name? yah.. kangin already had solbi.. and in this group only you who still love her.” Heechul look at siwon.

“l-love? Yah… what are you saying?”

“then you are not? then why are you stare at her and completely mad when seeing she and jiyong talking just now? look..” kangin lift up a drinking can. “he make this just now” he continue. The can like a paper been crush.

“wow.. aigoo.. oppa.. if you need help from us to get unnie.. just told us okay?” sunny who already finish removing her makeup now join suju at the couch.

“no.. I mean no.. really no.. taeyeon and me? She really not my type okay.. and I..”

“here we go with your excuse.. I am already engage.. oppa.. you don’t even had a photo of her.. never mention about her name too. She didn’t even attend to see your first big performing today. My khunnie even take leave for this day.” Fany also join to sit there.

“my seung gi too” yoona proudly join to show off

“my IU too” eunhyuk make a joke..

“my hae too” sica take sit beside donghae and kiss his cheek.

“my..” sunny frown. “only me solo??”

“my loved cannot come today.. I bet he totally busy.. but tonight.. we will had a dinner” sooyoung shyly told about her boy.

“maknae yongie also come” hyoyeon tease maknae who just silent.

“unnie.. me and yong hwa just friend.” She quickly deny.

“hehe.. did I say yong hwa?” all of them laugh to witty hyoyeon. Seohyun just shake her head and hug fany, hide her face.

“are you all going to show off.. we talk about siwon oppa here? Yuri pull them to the right track again.

“yeah yeah..”

“so.. oppa.. taeyeon is not here.. we promise.. taeyeon will never know your secret here.. just tell us if you don’t want we to bug you about it again” all of them silent and wait for siwon answer. Siwon look at them one by one. Interpret the word he heard.

“what are you guys expect me to say? I’ve told you. I don’t like her.. what more to love her..” siwon really want to kill himself to say that. It not like he hate her.. but..

“are you being harsh? Or you just said it cause you already had fiancé? What is you don’t? Not even like her? Yet you always enjoy time when ever with her.” Yoona small her eye. Siwon run his eye to other way.

“well..  even I am solo.. I still had my own type.. more feminine girl, matured, tall as me.. so will even suitable when stand. When we walk I don’t have to look down.. about taeyeon? of course I enjoyed the moment with her.. aren’t you? When some people talking and sit beside you.. isn’t that what we call a manner to enjoy out sit partner. I mean who did really enjoying some lame joke and dorky act.. I totally didn’t like to something like that.. she so childish and something to blunt about something.. what should I describe her? The weird ahjumma? Ahjumma yet always being childish? Gosh.. she ate too much ice cream don’t you think? So she very not my type.. humph.. ” siwon totally immerse in memory about taeyeon. He keep remember every detail about her. Even that negative out from his mouth he is smiling tell all his friend about taeyeon. “but you all know.. how should I say.. me.. even already engage.. all that weird thing like that make me attract more to her.. I don’t understand to.. what is it.. but seeing her.. even from far.. yet my heart.. it keep beating so fast.. oh god.. what am I saying now…” he look up and he on his right mind once again.. he feel his face burn of embarrass. His mouth talking without thinking.. “guys.. I mean.. I admire her? Like a sister? I guess?” but all member start to ignore his last excuse. They already go taking their own things.. “do you hear me? Guys? Girls?” he try to take their attention more.

“yes, we heard you mr.. and yes we know you are in love with her.. hehe.. gosh I never thought you will be so honest to us.. I mean.. hehe.. siwon oppa.. you are jjang!!? Fighting..”

“oh.. where is the midget again? She been to toilet for so long..” sunny look around to search taeyeon.

“she is not here? I wish she heard it for herself your confession.” Fany get excited for taeyeon.

“no.. of course not.. I shouldn’t feel like that toward her.. what are you even thinking..” siwon cut fany imagination.

“yup yup.. whatever oppa.. just tell us if you ever need help okay?” hyoyeon patted siwon.

“help for?” he ask back.. make the girls smile sneakily.

“to…”

“hush!!!” siwon quickly hush yuri when seeing taeyeon just come to the room.

“hallo.. gosh.. someone did poison my milk this morning. I had stomachache.” Taeyeon complain cutely. She her stomach like child. She when to tiffany and put fany hand at her stomach too. “Pain” she whine.

“aish.. how many time I ask you to see the label before drink!” fany nag. Help taeyeon her stomach. “wanna rest?” she ask taeyeon. And taeyeon nod.. her eye is tearing.. fany look deep into taeyeon eye.. feel weird about the tear. Understand taeyeon she quickly ask other to out and she will stay with taeyeon in the room.

“guys.. go out first. I’m gonna take care my wife then I will join you all. Oppa.. good luck. And if you see nickhun, tell him to enjoy the show first. I will come soon. Arasso?”  fany quickly let taeyeon sit back facing others.

“is taeyeon unnie okay? Really that hurt?” seohyun worry about it. Taeyeon always hold pain by herself. Until she can’t hide it anymore.

“I will take care of her. Just go.. enjoy the performance..” fany push snsd member. And prevent heechul from close to taeyeon. Taeyeon don’t like people to see she crying.

“are you okay?” heechul asking from a far.

“yup.. just go.. it 2ne1 who perform now. make yourself ready oppa. Fighting oppa..” taeyeon answer and gave a thumb up without looking. And all of both member getting out from the room with worry. Siwon look back to fany and she only shaking her head to him. Signaling don’t be worry.

>> after 10 minute and so

Fany still sit beside taeyeon. Waiting the girl to tell her reason behind her cry. Its not about that stomach she think..

“fany aw..”

“yes?”

“can you help me to call eun hye jumma?”

“wae? You need help? I am here to help you..” fany offer herself to taeyeon.

“I am okay.. I just want her to remove my makeup..” taeyeon weakly said to tiffany. She still hide her face under her two hand.

“let me help you okay?” fany slowly move taeyeon hand. And the latter just let fany do that to her. “taetae ah… wae? Why are you crying?” fany continue.. with her slow voice try to persuade taeyeon.

“no I am not..”

“you are crying.. look..” fany straighten taeyeon head in front the mirror. Taeyeeon stare herself in the mirror. Wipe her tear stain.

“no.. it nothing.. hehe.. my stomach just hurt too much..” she still stare to the mirror.

“you never cry and whining like that if it about the stomach”

“chinchayo.. just hurt..”

“nah.. you not even cry vomiting my kimbab last year, and my uncooked omrice…”

“and your unsalted chicken soup and your weird taste cake, and..”

“yah yah.. no need to list it here.. you not giving me an answer of my question..” fany pinch taeyeon cheek.

“I am not even start to list it. Hehe.. why you are so bad when cook..”

“still better than sica.”

“umphh. Let me think a while. Actually, yes.. you better than her.. I had stomachache for 3 days after eating her cup cake.and yourl ongest record making my had ache is 2 days and 23 hour. Hehehe” taeyeon let her ahjumma laugh. Fany smile when look taeyeon laugh like that. She feel relieve a bit.

“whatever.. so.. care to share the story?” she back to her main question. Taeyeon smile in silent.

“it just.. erm..”

-Taeyeon flashback*

Taeyeon pov

I walk away leaving two of guys that mean a lot for me. I mean, jiyong and heechul oppa always  the most guys who care about me since before. Having they fight like that make me lose to take side either one of them. Arrive at toilet I look myself trough the mirror. Hehe.. an applause for myself. My story did get hit.. my member make it even more better. Hehe.. and the most important is.. the viewer enjoy the show. I feel very satisfied about it.

I when to the cubicle as I want to just seat and be alone. After make performance like this I love to be alone.. just want to be alone. I seat on the seatable toilet and stare the door blankly.

“do you see jiyong oppa.. unnie.. are you really accept the kwon family proposal?” I heard minzy voice asking someone. I bet it also 2ne1 member since the member of group also like snsd.. they been spend time mostly among the group member.

“yup.. you know I love him right? Even since high school.” She love my Ji.. I keep in silent.. wanting to know more about it.

“but unnie.. you know he love taeyeon right?” minzy asking her partner yet again. I smile to hear it. Of cause my ji love me.. I knew it.

“yes.. but he never say he hate me.. he even said he like me.. may be not much as he love taeyeon but he like me.. isn’t that is good?”

“but dara unnie.. may be..”

“nope.. minzy.. just believe me this time.. he never been with same person each night. But since we going out together.. he completely had me like every night? What was that for?”

“he drunk if you realize.”

“yup.. and.. drunk people never lie.. he said to me.. he will marry me.. when the time had come.. just need to wait.”

“and you believed him?”

“why not.. I believe he just want something from taeyeon before leaving her and come to me.”

“unnie.. don’t say I never remind you. Jiyong oppa and taeyeon unnie been 2 years even not official, but you know when it come to taeyeon, jiyong oppa will absolutely care and serious. You remember how he let go his gang for her? You remember how he didn’t even out from his room just for studying to into this university for her? And do you realize how hard he restrain himself from fighting since last year after taeyeon unnie warn him about it?” minzy fact make me agapes.. yes.. jiyong never take advantage from me.. he always gave me what I want.. and that is one of the reason I will never left jiyong. He is my hero who silently protect me. But.. why jiyong said he will marry sandarac.. not me? I frown a little.. why does this heart feel sting knowing jiyong being sweet to other girls.. and it sandarac.. who in this college don’t know sandara is the fan of my ji.. my dragon.

“taeyeon.. control your heart.. aren’t we already settle about being hurt just because his flirting habit” I whisper for my auditory only… yes.. I’ve been settle out about this.. don’t take the matter serious.. 

“minzy yah.. do you realize taeyeon never mean to be get all he doing? She even make everything hard for oppa.. if it was me.. I will gave everything for him. Even jiyong oppa always complaining that he always doubt about taeyeon feeling to him. Even last night… if you love that person why being hard to him right?” sandara talk feel like a slap on my face. I always tell jiyong I love him.. yes and I am honest about it. Did I make too hard for jiyong? He been with sandarac park everynight lately? And uncomfortable feeling yet approach my already sting heart.. he going to leave me and marry sandarac park.. I shook my head to push away the thinking.

 “yes… but taeyeon unnie did it for jiyong oppa sake.” I like how minzy always deend me. But somehow I feel too small for her depending me, since all sandara saying is truth. She doesn’t deserve jiyong great love. 

“are you going to taeyeon side?” I heard trembling voice of sandara voice. God.. did she crying?

“unnie.. I just being curious why you love jiyong oppa so much.. even among us idol completely know he whipped by taeyeon. I just don’t want you continue hurting yourself. Can you just give up on him.. you know..” I unconsciously nod my head, agree to what minzy said.

“how can I gave up on my own fiancé for his not even girlfriend girl?” even it was told by sandarac in slow voice but… I heard it rang into my ear like a giant bell. Fiancé? What does sandara mean.. I really want to open the door and and asking sandarac eye to eye. But.. that will make everything more worst.

“unnie.. please stop crying.. I am sorry.. it just.. I wont let you go hard on yourself to much..” minzy try to persuade sandara who sobbing like crazy. I move closer to the door. Wanting to hear more cause my hearing was disturb by sound of water rushing from the pipe.

“everything was good between us, until one night jiyong oppa come to me and said.. he found a lovely girl and he think he fall inlove to that girl. At first I thought it just the way he always tease me, but it growing much until he even want to move out from our house. Afraid taeyeon will find out our relationship.. I just miss the old jiyong.. you know he being play boy just wanting taeyeon be jealous of it. How cruel is my fate right?” I heard sandara sigh deep. If I am her I don’t think I can be tough like her. May be I already give up on the relationship.

“aigoo unnie.. how can I help you. Don’t you want to confront with taeyeon unnie?”

“nah.. I don’t want to see other girl hurt by me.. I’ll just hope one day.. jiyong oppa back to me again. I just think as his crush on taeyeon will be fade by day and time. Sometime I glad he fall inlove  with taeyeon not other girl. Taeyeon know how to care her self. And if she knew bout this matter, I can bet my voice she will gave up for me. I don’t like it..” I touch by sandara saying. God.. how can I hurting kind girl like dara.

“yah.. you.. it us in 5 minute.. hurry up!” park bom voice from outside make minzy and sandara walk out from toilet. I wait for a few minute.. my head tense interpreting the info I just get. Am  I being to selfish?

“ahhhh!!” I let out my frustration. Luckily this washroom for us whom perform only. I hate this guilty feeling. “huhh..” my heart being so sensitive right now.. I just thinking to go back to house.. rest in my room. Why am I destroying others happiness? Why did I come into jiyong already happy live.. if only…

I walk to waiting room to remove my make up. Ignoring some staff who passing by me.

When approaching the room I heard commotion in the room. Slightly heard my name being talk about. I open the door with a smile to make my true emotion hiden closely.. not letting even my wifey fany detect about it. After had a little confidence I open the door slowly.. I saw member start to gathering at the coach.. may be they already finish removing make up. “g-g…”

“so.. oppa.. taeyeon is not here.. we promise.. taeyeon will never know your secret here.. just tell us if you don’t want we to bug you about it again” I heard soooyoung asking siwon. So they still with the plan to proving they are right. A little did in my mind I want him to like me.. not like that like I mean love.. but it was comfortable talking to him.. so like me as friend?? So I keep my action froze.. waiting to the answer from siwon.

“what are you guys expect me to say? I’ve told you. I don’t like her.. what more to love her..” I feel dejcted by the answer.. not eve like me? Like? Then, why he being good to whole this time.. I bit my lower lips.. I am so hatefull for everybody?

“are you being harsh? Or you just said it cause you already had fiancé? What is you don’t? Not even like her? Yet you always enjoy time when ever with her.” Now yoona asking siwon. I still stand there hoping yes as answer.

“well..  even I am solo.. I still had my own type.. more feminine girl, matured, tall as me.. so will even suitable when stand. When we walk I don’t have to look down.. about taeyeon? of course I enjoyed the moment with her.. aren’t you? When some people talking and sit beside you.. isn’t that what we call a manner to enjoy out sit partner. I mean who did really enjoying some lame joke and dorky act.. I totally didn’t like to something like that.. she so childish and something to blunt about something.. what should I describe her? The weird ahjumma? Ahjumma yet always being childish? Gosh.. she ate too much ice cream don’t you think? So she very not my type.. humph.. ” I clenching my fist and walk away from the door. Stop hurting my heart hearing such bitter truth there. I walk away with my tear about to flow away.. first jiyong lie about his status to me.. I am falling in love woth someone who already engage even from before we knowing each other. worst.. I broke people happiness for my own without realizing it. Such a dumb. And some one who I just thought as my friend is hating me that much.. gosh.. I am not sensing a little about it. Why people keep acting toward me. Did both of the sympathy toward me.. not sincery but a sympathy? I feel like I am a loser.. my heart throbbing like someone had stabbing me none stop. I sit beside the wall.. holding my chest and my forehead to soothing the feeling that lingering at them…

“taeyeon.. taeyeon.. you should never trust anybody except yourself.. I knew it.. I should trust anybody.. fool of me..” I giggled to my stupidness to trust people.. yet everyone being dishonest  to me. While here I am ready to taold my member and suju oppa about mt engagement in this evening party to ask them some way so I can solve about it. It seem I had to work on my own.

“unnie? are you okay?” one of student suddenly asking me.

“ahh.. hehe.. I am okay.. just feel a little stomachache” I lie with a smile. Made that girl smile back to me.

“hehe… you look like beautiful boy tonight unnie. your performance so good..” she compliment to me..

“thank you,, please continue support our group and entertainment department. I should go to cleasing myself hurry.. 2ne1 already start..” I said after hearing the music from the stage. And the girl bowing a little before leaving me there.

I think hard as I had to act afterward. But looking at my member I will be melt quickly. They may even knowing my red and moist eye.. my red nose.. the sign that I am crying.

“hallo.. gosh.. someone did poison my milk this morning. I had stomachache.” I broke the door with a sullen face.. my stomach like it painand went  to tiffany. I pull her hand to my stomach..”pain” I mutter to her.

“aish.. how many time I ask you to see the label before drink!” fany nag. Helping me my stomach. “wanna rest?” she asked. And I nod.. my eye start to tearing.. seeing fany worry about me make me want to cry. This is not an act right. At least can I trust my 8 sister?? Fany look into me weirdly. She now may be get sense I am lying a bout the pain.

“guys.. go out first. I’m gonna take care my wife then I will join you all. Oppa.. good luck. And if you see nickhun, tell him to enjoy the show first. I will come soon. Arasso?”  fany quickly pull me to the sit in front the make up table, sit back facing others. she know me too much.

“is taeyeon unnie okay? Really that hurt?” seohyun asking in worry voice.. fany take glance on me before answering maknae.

“I will take care of her. Just go.. enjoy the performance..” fany push other member. And prevent any of them closer to me.

“are you okay?” heechul asking from a far.

“yup.. just go.. it 2ne1 who perform now. make yourself ready oppa. Fighting oppa..” I answer after bitting my lips to hold my tear, when I sense my voice gonna trembling uncontrollable, I  gave a thumb up without looking. Hoping they gonna leave the room quickly.

*present

“yah.. stop spacing out.. tell me taetae.. wae?” fany poke taeyeon from her own world. Worry when taeyeon back to her silent self. Silent taeyeon is more scary and worrisome than an angry taeyeon.

“uhmm.. fany yahh..” fany look at taeyeon sad face. It broke her heart.

“wae.. wae… don’t be like this,, at least told me..” she begging to taeyeon. Made taeyeon guilty for making the girl worrying for her too much.

“I just thought about breaking up with jiyong” I said in slow tone.. as my heart won’t  like its to be happen.. fany look at me in absent mind..

“mworago?”

“didn’t you hear me.. I am going to end my realationship with jiyong.” I said one more time.. with a smile.. and tear flowing down my cheek.

“yah.. kim taeyeon.. what are you saying.. what happen? What did he do to you? Taetae?” fany in panic mode. Even she would like to happen but.. seeing taeyeon broke like this? Jiyong is a small matter to handle. As long as taeyeon happy jiyong is the best for her then. Fany wipe the tear that flow.. “aigoo,, it not normal for someone who smiling while crying..” fany pull taeyeon into hug.. patting taeyeon back lovingly. She really want to asking the reason but.. she wont make things harder. Taeyeon will eventually telling her soon. Force taeyeon to talk need time and energy. When she want to shut , then she will. Taeyeon body trembling in her hug.. it been awhile seeing taeyeon cry this hard.

“unnie…” yoona look at fany. She went to the room to take her phone and found her two unnies hugging and taeyeon is crying hard. Very hard. “waeyo?” she get closer to fany, patting the oldest head worrily. “should I call others?”

“a-aaan-ani” taeyeon said in sobbing. Her hand catch yoona wrist. Holding it tight to prevent yoona from leaving the room.

“…” yoona make a comfirmation from fany by looking at the latter. “okay okay.. just cry unnie” yoona answer after get a nod from fany. She stand beside fany and just silently join mute moment in the room.