Y13 • Nothing
Y • Y • Y
#taken from Yonghwa's point of view
A part of me is feeling guilty because I made all three of us to know about Yoon's deepest secret, the pain she has to bear in her life. The girl who we were envied of because of her talents without knowing the pain she has all her life.
After the short training, Yoon gives us a signal to sit together with her in the dining room. She opens up the conversation, letting us to give her question by question.
"Why did you agree to work for our Presidents?" Yoseob is the one who speaks up for the first question. The question I have asked to her before.
"I was thinking to take my life away. Having this AIWS inside of me is killing me softly and I mean it. I'm sure you don't know how it feels to see everything in a different perspective from what it should be," Yoon starts to talk, letting her bangs to cover her eyes. "This eyes are the source of everything. I really want to crave out these eyes. I still want to do it now."
I shiver. Come to think of it, she is partially saying the exact reason.
The heterochromia iridum which makes her to have different colors for her eyes. The synesthesia that makes her to see everything in different color. And AIWS which makes her to see everything differently.
"You can say that your President, Mr Lee Soo Man, found me accidentally. He was walking around the abandoned area to find some inspiration for his new project, which is I believe SuperJunior05," Yoon glances at Yesung under her bangs, intertwining her fingers together. "He... helped me, if you might say. And he offered me to help him at the price he would hide my existence from the world."
"Both of your Presidents worked along with the plan. You can say that I'm being non sense but I guess my curiosity about human led me up till this moment," Yoon moves aside her bang, revealing her beautiful eyes that stare at me coldly. "Will music change people?"
None of us dare to say a word.
"Another question?" Yoon leans to the back of the chair, waiting for our next question.
"Why did you agree to train us if you wanted to hide your existence of the world?" Yesung mutters his question carefully, having the serious expression on his face.
"Because, just like what I said, I'm curious, Yesung," Yoon chuckles. "Music changed you. All of you. And I wonder if music will ever change me. I was wondering about something silly called miracles when I accepted the deal to train you."
Miracles. The word that Yoon will never ever believe in. At least not if I was her; her life is a hell in world. Why should she believe in miracles?
"I'm sorry, but how old are you?" Yoseob asks the simple question; simple but indeed a question which the answer are seeked by us.
"I believe I am the same line of you, Yoseob," Yoon rests her chin on her palm, examining our surprise expression because of her answer. "I assume all of you didn't expect that answer."
What? She is younger than me! How could our Presidents use this young girl for their advantages? The young girl who has the special talents and curses in the same time.
"Yoon," I clear my throat awkwardly, gaining their attention on me. "Do you believe in us?"
That is indeed a silly question.
But for my surprise, Yoon answers it calmly, "Should I?"
I blink in confusion, waiting for her continuation.
"I haven't seen any sign for me to believe in you three. A sign that you are different from the others. Human is interesting and scary in the same time. That's why I think music is enough for me," Yoon sighs heavily as if she is disappointed with us. "Are you three different then?"
The words stab my heart.
Yoon is right. We envy her for her talents. We pity her for the pain. We think of nothing like her. How are we different from the others in her view?
"Yoon, we're sorry," Yesung pleads with apologetic face. "We didn't know that-"
"I never asked you to know," Yoon cuts in his words without hesitation. "I don't ask you to pity me. There is nothing you can do for me. Nothing. Mark it."
Yoon stands up from her seat and gives her back to us, "You can return now. I don't think we need to continue the training tonight."
"Yoon, we-" Yoseob tries to explain, straightening his body, but Yoon turns her body to face us with her cold eyes.
"I'll see you in two nights. Good night, gentlemen," she nods slightly to us, covering her eyes once again. She leaves the dining room.
"I feel like I am the biggest fool in the world," Yoseob messes his own hair with frustration. "Yoon deserves to know that this world is not that bad."
"And how can we tell her that?" I murmur, looking at the door Yoon just closed. "The world for her is just a creepy and dark place."
Yoon has nothing to treasure in this world. Nothing to be grateful of. Nothing to cherish.
Except music.
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