Chapter 17

Woohyun

When Sunggyu leaves me alone in his room to talk to Dongwoo that night I seek the chance to finally talk to the others.

My way first leads me into Sungjongs room.

"Sungjong?" I slowly open the door. Sungjong never thought it is necessary to knock. If you surprise him ... your problem.

He is asleep on his bed, Hoya sitting next to him. He is staring at the mute television, zapping through channels that don't seem to interest him at all. He doesn't look at me and I can see the sudden anxiety written all over him.

" Hello."

"Hey."

I slowly draw closer, nervously kneading my hands. " I... wanted to talk...a bit."

" Sungjong is already asleep."

" With you...too..."

" Oh... yes... sure..."

We keep quiet for far too long not to be awkward.

" Hoya?"

" Yes."

" Do I make you nervous... in any way?"

He slowly lifts himself up, turns the TV off, puts the remote away, stares to the wall, back to me and while doing so he looks so lonely that I can't help but to move closer to him as fast as I can and hug him.

" I'm sorry."

" What... why...?" he asks with his voice choked. I'm glad he doesn't push me away.

" I'm sorry because I'm the reason you have to listen to all this crazy stuff. I realize how uncomfortable you are when I'm close." I let go and take a step backwards so I can look at him.

" I... don't feel uncomfortable... I just... don't understand what's going on. Everyone seems to be perfectly fine with this... but... to me..."

" Trust me. You're not alone. But when it helps you to cope better with it I will stay away from you as far as possible. Just tell me and I will do so. I don't want to scare  you."

My voice doesn't break and it surprises me.

" I'm not afraid. Just give me a few days and I'll be my old self. Okay?"

"Okay."

The trace of a smile and I try my best to answer it with my own. I don't think it was enough but it is a beginning.

I cover Sungjong up once again and leave the room.

Now the person I'm scared to talk to just a tiny bit more.

Myungsoos door. A black whole that wants to swallow me.

For a moment I stop in front of it.

He was always the one I worried about. When I first met him it was like... he detested me for being with Sunggyu. And it took me a while to gain that trust and feel some kind of warmth in his gaze. It would be horrifying to have to start all over again.

I stand in front of the door a second too long.

Enough time for Myungsoo to creep behind me... or just walk behind me. Because Myungsoo doesn't creep.

I only notice him when he rests his chin on my shoulder, an arm around my waist.

"Why did you look at me like that all day long?"

I wince for a second, then his own calmness spreads all over me. " You didn't look like you could cope with the situation well."

" Thats what you got out of it?", he lets go and leans against the wall next to the door. " Can you tell me, Woohyun, why do you still doubt me after all this time?"

" It's not a doubt.", I avoid his gaze. " I just thought you might be scared... or couldn't understand. And therefore you might not want to have me here."

" That is why you shouldn't think sometimes. I was... shocked, yes. But what could I do instead of believing you? Because you're standing in front of me and you're breathing. Two things you didn't do anymore a while ago. You might be a bit paler than normal, but I think we can live with that."

" You don't know how much that means to me."

" Don't get cheesy."

My eyes are getting wet again and avert my gaze to the ground.

" How do you feel? With all of this?" he asks.

" Right now it is fine. I think the reason is that I still can't realize everything.", my hand on my chest. " And then I realize my heart is not beating and panic comes to me and I feel like throwing up, and crying and so alone in this world that I can hardly breath. Still I know, I had so much luck, even though things happened that were not fair. We could come back. And even though we might have to leave again soon... now I'm here and I want to make the best out of it."

It feels weird to form those thoughts into words but Myungsoo is the right person to listen to them.

He bites his lip. " Normally it is easy for me to emphasize with people... but now. I guess I gave up on your side. But I can understand Sunggyu."

Something hits me right into the not beating heart. " It's a miracle he didn't go insane. If I imagine this would happen to Sungyeol..."

His gaze wanders. " Woohyun?"

" Yes?"

" That phone call Sungyeol earlier talked about. Can you tell me more?"

I have to think for a moment before I answer. " I can't tell you a  lot about it. I just noticed someone call Sungyeol a lot which he clearly didn't like. He literally seemed to have a panic attack all the time. One day I had enough. So I took his mobile and questioned the person. But that woman...", I shiver when I remember the moment. " I tried to talk calmly to her. But it was not possible. She started to scream and to curse and to threaten you. She demanded to know where Sungyeol is. So in the end I told her to off and told Sungyeol to stay away from his mobile."

" You did well."

" Who is she?"

A sad smile on his handsome face. " Someone who finds us. No matter where we run to. And I'm so ashamed I didn't realize what Sungyeol was going through."

" I guess it's time to tell us about it."

Unknowingly for both of us Sunggyu came back from Dongwoos room. He approaches us and pulls me closer with an arm around my shoulders. " Every little thing can help us to get closer to finding the bastard who did this." He kisses my temple.

" Well... all this years I was really thankful you never asked us about this but you're right." Myungsoo puts his hands into his pockets.

" You know that Sungyeol and I ended up on the streets very young. The usual story. Big dreams of two young boys, but at home they get destroyed by hits.

She found us on a day we once again didn't know where we could find some food. And it only helped her that she was a real beauty.

Sadly I have to admit that.

You know, we had lived on the streets for far too long. She  was like an angel send from heaven. But her insides where as ugly as her outsides where beautiful. In the beginning her presence was heaven on earth. But slowly her affection for Sungyeol turned into something else. I think he was around 16. Too young. Her motherly kisses on the cheek changed, her gazes became more demanding. Let's not get more into this. You just have to know that we had to leave soon after that because all of this disgusted Sungyeol and that feeling was stronger than the fear of going back to live on the streets.

Only then we realized who she was actually. Some higher up in the underworld and she was everywhere, knowing everyone. It seemed impossible to get away from her. Until we met you, Sunggyu. Here we were save all of sudden and were able to go into hiding. But it seems like she found out."

He talks without much of an emotion showing on his face but his voice gives me enough information to know about how he feels inside.

" Sungyeol panics. I can feel it. But he doesn't want to talk about it."

"  You think she could be a possible culprit?" Sunggyu asks.

" Yes. Definitely. Woohyun put himself between her and Sungyeol. She's insane. And since both of you are competing in the same buisness..."

" I never heard about a Park Moon Ey."

" Now you did. And you better don't forget her name." he takes the doorknob into his hand. " Woohyun?"

" Yes?"

" Try no to disappear again."

" Sure."

Sunggyu takes my hand. " And you, Myungsoo, make sure Sungyeol and you will be ready tomorrow at 6."

" Why?"

" We'll leave to Sangju."

He nods and disappears into his room.

" Sangju?"

He cups my face and kisses me softly. " It's safer there. And we don't have to explain to everyone why you're walking around here. The funeral is cancelled. But my parents will be back soon so we have to leave early."

"About that..."

" No, not now. Come on, we have to rest for a bit."