Chapter 13

Myungsoo

Myungsoo  had already walked around the building for a while.

Not in a hurry.

He isn't famous for being someone who stresses himself out a lot. In the end, he always arrives. Sometimes too late, but the people gave up on telling him a long time ago.

He is punctual when it is necessary.

He finally finds Sungyeol in his room, the sound of things that fall to the ground leading him. Maybe sometimes they hit the wall, he is not too sure. Sungyeol listens to loud music, like always.  And doesn't notice him entering the room, like always.

"What are you doing?"

" Where's..."  Sungyeol searches his room with frantic eyes, grabs a shirt from the mess on his bed and throws it into the half packed bag on the ground.

Myungsoo bought him for him. It has been a while and he wonders why Sungyeol hasn't exchanged it with a new one. It hasn't been more than 10000 won, somewhere on the street, a dirty green. Maybe it's the nostalgic feeling it has to it. That feeling Sungyeol loves a bit too much and that makes Myungsoo worry about him a lot because he gets too sad all the time. He had bought the bag before they met Sunggyu. When they had to worry about food and all the other things that make life hard for some, while there are ones that don't even know about them.

" Maybe another shirt..."

" Sungyeol... What are you doing?"

" Packing my things."

" I can see that. Would you mind telling my why you're packing?"

He leans against the doorframe, not really waiting for an answer. He already knows what is going through Sungyeols head. They have been together for far too long.

" I'm going to accompany Sunggyu."

"Where to?"

" To take revenge."

" To take revenge?"

" Yes.", for the first time he pauses and looks at Myungsoo. " Soon he will be back to his old self and then he will go an kill whoever did that to Woohyun. And I will go with him."

" Where will you go?"

" We still don't know."

" How will you find out?"

" There's a wa!."

" What way?"

Myungsoo thought the cup on his nightstand would bite the dust, but it is the lamp on Sungyeols nightstand that crashes into the wall.

Myungsoo raises his brow, unfazed on the outside. " Was that necessary?"

" Don't you get it?! Aren't you angry at everything and everyone?! Let go of that in facade once in a while!"

" You out of all should know that I'm not a heartless bastard." he snaps, for a moment loosing his composure.

" I...", Sungyeol slouches his shoulders, drained of all of his energy. " It's just that I... I wanted them to grow old together. As stupid and cheesy as it sounds. I wanted them to grow old and be one of that tottery couples. And we would have hung out with them and would have talked badly about them, but secretly we would have loved them like we do now. Maybe they would have adopted a cute child and I would have been his favourite uncle because let's be honest, I'm so much cooler than you."

He clutches the hem of his shirt and his shoulders shake from the sobs he tries to suppress.

" Hell... it feels like I was more worried about their love life than mine because... and... but now... Woohyun is dead. And  Sunggyu... turned into another person from one second to the other."

" You'll cry now?"

Myungsoo is not the best when it comes to this. People think he is a good listener because he is quiet a lot of times.

And they think he is a caring person.

But he isn't.

Not in the beginning at least. And not that much when he grew fond of you. He is tough. And he expects others to be as tough as him.

Sometimes he might be too hard. Even when it is about Sungyeol. Who he, by his standarts, already treats as soft as he can.

Sungyeol glares at him after he asked and leaves his things at the ground before he lays down on the bed.

"If the next thing you'll ask me is if I'm fine I'm going to throw you out." are the only muffled words Myungsoo can make out.

He takes a seat on the bed.

The feathers screech silently. " How much tactfulness do you think I have?"

" Less enough to ask me if I'm going to cry."

Myungsoo slowly caresses Sungyeols back. " Will you talk to me?"

" I am."

" While looking at me?"

" Why would I?"

" If I remember right there was this 11 year old guy who once told me that my handsome face calms him down."

"You remember that?"

" Of course. I'm a cocky bastard.  If I can believe the words of the 12 year old guy."

There is a moment of silence until Sungyeol finally turns on his back and locks at the ceiling.

" I was 14...And you deserved it."

A smile that doesn't reach Myungsoos eyes, before he bends over Sungyeol and presses a kiss on his forehead.

Sungyeol told him once.

In one of his drunken moments where he gets really clingy and melodramatic. He told him how his lips take the agony for a second and let him breath again, even just for a moment. They always did and they will do in the future.

But now, things that shouldn't have happened and even Sungyeols unbreakable optimism got destroyed.

Myungsoo couldn't stop it.

And something found its way in the life of his most precious person he never wanted him to feel.

The yearning for someone that wouldn't come back.

Never once had Sungyeol missed someone. Myungsoo has  always been there.

And Sungyeol knows and always knew that he would never leave.

At least not deliberately.

They have never talked about what is between them. They don't have to, because what would some words change? If one is lonely the door of the other is always open. And they use this opportunity.

Maybe too often.

Woohyun was  a curious person. He was the only one who asked about it. Again and again. Only Sungyeol, because Myungsoo isn't one to talk much.

Maybe he asked because he noticed that Sungyeol couldn't bear the situation anymore. And maybe because he knew how it felt like to have THAT person finally, to be able to claim him as his.

Myungsoo knows about all of that. He kept an eye on both of them, when they once again went out to eat together. And before all of that happened he wanted nothing more than to talk about how their relationship changed but now he couldn't speak anymore.

Not to Sungyeol.

What if something would change between them?

" Don't go  on some crazy revenge trip just because you can't bear your sorrow right now." He can feel Sungyeols gaze lingering on him.

" Why didn't you tell Sunggyu earlier?"

" Because he won't listen right now... he can't. He's on the verge of going crazy because of Woohyun."

Sungyeols mouth a bitter line. " That's why we let him destroy his room?"

" Rather his room than himself."

" Maybe it would be better if he did."

"Don't talk like this."

"It's the truth."

" The last time you talked like this you disappeared for two months."

Just now he caressed Sungyeols hand but his movements slowly stop, his fingers a barely noticeable touch on Sungyeols skin.

" I thought about this a lot lately."

" Do you want me to feel guilty about it?"

" How could I? It was the only thing you could do."

" Really?"

It's just one of those chaste kisses they exchange from time to time to reassure them that it is still the same between them. A bare touch of the lips, nothing heated, nothing that would embarrass one of them. It is normal to them, but still a secret. And not even today Sungyeol can keep himself from melting into it.

" Move over a bit."

Sungyeol does as Myungsoo says so the black haired guy can lay down comfortable next to him.

Sungyeol turns over to lay on his side and examines Myungsoos profile. The latter notices but he stopped to care about it. Sungyeol has always been shameless. Staring at people on the street, in the subway. Preferable Myungsoos profile.

" It was the right thing to do then but I'm more than happy that you promised me not to do it again."

"Myungsoo?"

"Yes?"

He moves a bit closer, his chest touching Myungsoo when his arm finds his way around the younger's torso. " I feel like I did the day I packed my stuff and ran away.", Myungsoos grip around his hand grows stronger. " The only difference is that right now I feel a lot more helpless. At least I was able to defend myself against her in the end. But now...", he bites his lip as if he's searching for the right words. " But right now I  can't do anything to bring Woohyun back and that scares the hell out of me. More than she did..."

" Don't think about it."

" I think about it every day."

" Why don't you tell me about it?"

A moment of silence until Sungyeols speaks again.  " She started to call me. For a while now. Once a week.. maybe three times a month. Every time she uses another phone so I can never be sure it's her or not. She can't say a lot because I hang up the moment I know it's her..." Myungsoos eyes widen in shock. ", And no matter how often I change my phone number, she finds it again."

" Why are you telling me now? You should have told me earlier!"

" Woohyun..."

"What's with Woohyun?"

" He was there once she called. He talked to and- ", he supports himself on his elbows when Myungsoo gets up. " Where are you going?"

" I need to get some fresh air."

" Myungsoo..."

" Do me the favour and stay inside."

And with that he leaves.

But Sungyeol has never been the obedient one. And so he rushes out of his room when he realizes that Myungsoo won't come back to him this time.  

OOO

Sungjong

Sunjong flinches, every time when something hits the wall. According to the noise, his brother already pulled the curtains from the windows. And maybe the lamp he only put on the table next to his bed because Woohyun liked it already hit the wall.

Sungjong already sank to the floor a while ago, flanked by a too quite Howon on his left and a silently sobbing Dongwoo on his right.

" Should we stop him?" Sungjong asks without looking away from the wall.

" Let him be." Hoya says and that are his only words for the next minutes until all of sudden the door opens  and Sunggyu comes out of his room.

More faltering than walking straight.

Sungjong reaches out for him but he ignores his hands.

Or he doesn't see them.

Nobody is too sure about it when they follow him to the elevator.

He seems to be sure about his way. But still so far away that he has to stop in front of the elevator doors for a moment.

A sight that breaks Sungjongs heart only the more. His brother, always so proud and strong.... disappeared.

They follow him into the elevator, silent.

" Where do you want to go?" Hoya asks and the other two can't help but to admire that he gathered the courage to talk to him.

" To Woohyun."

OOO

Sunggyu

I noticed them all the time.

The gazes, their words, their hands that reached out for me. I didn't falter because I wasn't there with my mind. I just had used all my power to destroy my room.

I'm not confused.

And I know where I have to go.

How could I not know?

It is where Woohyun is.

Or at least what is left of him in this world I don't want to be in anymore.

I will go to him first.

And then I will find the one who brought all of this over them.

And after that...

I don't know.

Like I don't know a lot anymore.

But sometimes life can be a mystery and you don't know how it works and why when all of sudden everything breaks down on you.

They are in the huge assembly hall, where normally the meetings with all the workers are held. Now it's nearly empty.

Only Woohyuns closed coffin.

Rows of chairs for the people who will attend the ceremony later.

A scary view.

Maybe Hoya wouldn't have ran to me if it wasn't for the scary view.

If he would have thought rationally he would have known that I didn't bring a gun with me.

But it was a good thing to do.

If all those wouldn't have happened I would have never believed my eyes.

Never...

If it wasn't for Hoya that rushes over when I put my hand into the pocket of my jeans and hits me a bit too hard in the process.

If it wasn't for him loosing his balance.

I stumble.

Against the coffin.

Time grows slow when it tilts and I never heard a more agonizing noise then the one when the coffin hits the ground.

A scream fades.

Sungjong?

I don't know anymore.

Just look at the open coffin...

And the emptiness inside.

            No Woohyun.

And most probably without any doubt I would have gone insane right that instant if it wasn't for Myungsoo who opens the door that moment and pushes someone into the room.

Someone who takes my breath.

Someone who brings my to my knees a second time.

Someone I didn't even dare to dream about in all those restless hours.

" Woohyun..."