There are moments in our lives that we sincerely regret and wish to go back to fix. But none of us can control time, let alone repeating the past. Perhaps this thought had crossed Kai’s mind when Yunho had reprimanded him in front of his own gang. As mortifying as it seemed, Kai knew it was his wakeup call. He was greedy; Kai admitted that himself. It was wrong of him to be turning a blind eye for the enemy. Perhaps Choi Na Hee was an excuse for Kai to be greedy. As much as he loved her, he couldn’t help but confess that the love has surely faded away. It was still there, but it wasn’t as strong as it used to be.

                In ten years, Kai had seen more than he had ever imagined to back at the orphanage. In ten years, he had mercilessly killed people. In ten years, Kai had done things that were seen as inhumane. In ten years, Kai had changed. He knew when he was thirteen that he could never turn back down this road – there was no way to turn back and assimilate into the normal human population. The only thing left was to conquer the world he had so desperately lived and trained for. So perhaps getting together with Na Hee was a mere excuse. But deep down in his heart, Kai coveted the position as the Korean mafia leader, and it wasn’t for Na Hee – it was for himself.

                Kai knew that once he had gained the title of the Joker, he would be satisfied – or would he really?

                You see, that’s what Kai learned throughout the course of the ten years. As he constantly moved up the underground’s hierarchy, Kai realized that he never was just satisfied with a certain position. He was motivated to continue moving up; he was a lion hungry for power. That was the dangerous part of this world – you were never just satisfied with something. You always wanted for more. It was difficult to not be greedy in this world.

                It was the euphoric feeling of having everybody bow at your sight, as if the whole entire world was resting on your palm. It was as if you were playing God, and controlling the entire universe. Kai wanted that adrenaline pulsing through his veins – he wanted to be a God in the underground world.

                “Jong In, you know I mean best for you,” Yunho says after the rest of the Elemental members clear out of the room. “You don’t think I will step down? You know, Jong In, eventually, gods get tired too. You can only become a god when you’re in charge of this many people. I used to be like you, you know. I was a power hungry person; I admit it. I lost my mind in the midst of this all, and sometimes, I regret not being human for longer. When you’re a god, making a mistake is fatal. But in order to be a god, you must first get rid of all your flaws and weaknesses, starting with Choi Na Hee.”

                As much as Kai despised Yunho, Kai respected the mafia leader. Kai can attest that he hated Yunho at first, especially when his father had elected Yunho as the Joker. The feeling of betrayal was etched into Kai’s mind, serving as a reminder to this very day. But Kai knew that in order to become a god in this world, he had to eliminate everything – including Choi Na Hee.

                He laughs silently, glancing at his sister’s estate. Kai knew Na Hee was in there with his sister. Fate was clearly not in his favor – just when he had found Choi Na Hee, he had to give her up. It wasn’t his fault he turned out this way – it was fate who played humans like a true prankster. Yes, it was fate.

                Na Hee hears approaching footsteps from outside. She slides out of bed and makes her way towards the open balcony. How stereotypical – a girl in love waiting for her man on the balcony. Na Hee laughs. Her life is no Romeo and Juliet, but it surely isn’t Cinderella either.

                Ever since Kyungsoo dropped her off at Eun Hye’s estate, Na Hee had been thinking quite a lot. Certainly, this encounter with Kai had changed Na Hee’s mindset. And how could it not? The people that had killed her police parents were gangsters, without a doubt. But now that her childhood lover was a gangster himself, Na Hee was overwhelmed with the jumbled thoughts.

                The kiss with Kai was without a doubt breathtaking, especially for a first kiss. Yes, as cheesy as it sounded, Na Hee kept to her promise and saved her first kiss just for Kai. But Kai nonchalantly shrugged off the kiss as if it never really happened. Na Hee knew that Kai had kissed plenty of girls and had plenty of flings – didn’t all gangsters? So reality hit her hard, and boy, did it hurt.

                Na Hee would have never believed that she would meet Kai in this way. Then again, life was ironic. What she despised most became what she loved the most. And there was Kyungsoo to think about. He should have never crossed her mind, but he automatically did. There was so much to say about Do Kyungsoo. When they first met, he had her at a chokehold; she almost died. But now, Na Hee could confide in him – like a friend. Or perhaps, it was something more…

                “I’ve always liked watching the stars from Eun Hye’s house,” a voice says from beside her. Na Hee turns and sees Kai. She smiles before gazing back at the night sky. “The city is always a polluted place – it’s difficult to see stars shine this bright.”

                “You sound like an environmentalist,” Na Hee jokes.

                “I didn’t mean realistically speaking,” Kai elucidates, “the city has corrupted people. They pollute the society.”

                “…do you mean like gangsters?”  Na Hee covers , suddenly ashamed. “Sorry.”

                Kai laughs, not at all offended by the blunt comment – he has heard worse. “Yeah, gangsters and corrupt politicians. We corrupt the city.” Silence ensued afterwards, until Na Hee spoke again.

                “How was Kyungsoo initiated into Elemental?”

                Kai is slightly taken back by the question. “What brought this about?”

                “We were talking about gang initiations,” Na Hee replies, not at all aware of the touchy topic she was prancing on. It was dangerous territory she was dancing across, especially for Kai. “He said people got initiated by killing a policeman, but he said there were a few exceptions. He happened to be one of them.”

                Again, Kai is surprised – Kyungsoo doesn’t just go around telling strangers his personal stories. At least, not this soon. “Kyungsoo took a bullet for me,” Kai admits, “that ultimately proves that you’re faithful to your leader and that you are willing to die for your superior. Honestly, he was a rookie at that time – he was terrible at shooting. But when we caught ourselves in a local gang fight, the guns came out, and he was the first to protect me. He did it so willingly – it was his reward for being courageous.”

                “You must really trust Kyungsoo.”

                “I do,” Kai says thoughtfully. The two then fall back into a comfortable lull, watching the stars. Too distracted by the picturesque view, Na Hee can barely feel the arms snaking around her waist. It’s only when Kai speaks, does she notice his arms settled on her waist.

                “Kai, what are you –“

                “Just let me do this once, Na Hee,” Kai says, almost pleadingly. “And it’s oppa f