Yixing feels guilty again. It’s not a stomach-churning, nail-biting guilty. It’s just a slight guilty feeling for monopolizing Kai’s time. As his last few days approach Kai and him spend as much time as they can together after school. His mother is okay with him coming home later in the evenings, she says that he probably wants to spend more time with his friends before he leaves and she’s not wrong.

Everything is close to being okay and set right except for one thing.

Kai and him don’t meet at Kai’s house anymore. Yixing has explicitly forgiven Junmyeon, and Kai’s kind enough not to make things awkward between the two by willingly meeting Yixing outside, and spending the day doing random things until it’s time for Yixing to go home.

He knows he’ll have to forgive Junmyeon, and honestly speaking he kind of already has. Yixing’s not really one to hold grudges and now that nearly everything has been set in it’s proper place, he doesn’t get why he should still be angry.

That’s why when he goes to see Kai after school, he asks the younger to walk him back to his house to get something.

“I don’t think I’m going to school tomorrow,” Yixing says as Kai walks beside him. Kai had agreed to walk him home without any question.

“Why not,” Kai asks, he’s holding onto Yixing’s hand which is such a rarity that Yixing had spent most of his time grinning stupidly at the tiny display of affection. The pair had spent the last their remaining time being as affectionate as they could. Rather it was because Yixing was leaving on Sunday or if it was because of the incident with Junmyeon, Yixing didn’t really know.

“I don’t want to waste another day in class,” Yixing says, wrinkling his nose at the thought. “No one really learns anything with the added classes anyway. We’re all too distracted by summer.”

“You’re such a terrible student,” Kai teases.

“I’m not,” Yixing says pouting. “School’s just really boring now. They’re teaching us cause they have nothing better to do. It’s a waste of time.”  Kai laughs softly and Yixing glares playfully at him, and uses his free hand to lightly hit the younger.

They get to Yixing’s house in the next few minutes and Kai reluctantly lets go of his hand. “Do you want to come in,” Yixing suggests, fishing his key out of his school slacks. “My mom won’t be home anytime soon. She’s been working overtime to make up for the amount of time she’ll be away.”

Yixing watches as Kai turns to stare at the house before turning back towards him. “Are you sure,” Kai asks. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that he’s nervous and Yixing can’t help but grin at that, as he grabs Kai’s hand, holding it once again.

“I would ask you if I wasn’t sure,” Yixing replies, as he enters the gate.

He only lets go of Kai’s hand when they’re taking their shoes off and once their done, Yixing grabs his hand once more and leads him through the house. Yixing thinks about giving the boy a tour when he notices Kai’s eyes wandering around the first floor in curious intrigue but he decides that maybe he’ll do it a different time.

They’re not running on a tight schedule or anything, but there’s an anxiousness Yixing feels. He can’t help but be worried about what Kai thinks about his home, and as they head up the stairs to his bedroom, the anxiousness builds. He’s spent so much time in Kai’s bedroom that it’s easy to imagine how everything looks despite having not been there since last weekend.

If Kai really believed that seeing someone’s bedroom showed their personality, then in a way Yixing was showing Kai a deeper look at himself. He didn’t know what his bedroom could possibly say about him, but he hoped that it would be good.

“I don’t know if I made my bed,” Yixing states softly, as he stands in front of his bedroom with Kai right beside him.

“Do you want me to stand outside,” Kai asks, as he smirks in Yixing’s direction. He moves to stand beside Yixing, arms wrapping around the boy’s waist as he gives Yixing a loose back hug. “Please say no, I really want to see your room.”

“Did you just say please,” Yixing teases as he twists the doorknob, he does it slowly to tease Kai.

“I’m polite,” Kai tells him.

“I know you are,” Yixing says, he pushes the door open and Kai lets him go so that he can walk inside. His bed isn’t made. “You’re allowed to look around if you want.”

While Kai looks around Yixing heads over to his desk to get the meticulously wrapped present hiding in one of it’s drawers. “What’s that,” Kai asks. Yixing looks towards Kai, and finds him sitting on his bed looking at a few at a picture frame. “Is this you and your parents?”

“This is Suho’s gift,” Yixing says waving the present around. “I missed his birthday, remember?” He drops the gift into Kai’s lap, and takes the picture frame from Kai, nodding softly. “Yeah, these are my parents.” It’s a really old picture of him and his parents, something his grandmother gave him before he’d left to South Korea. In the pictures he’s a toddler, about three or four, and everyone seems really happy.

“You were a cute kid,” Kai compliments just as Yixing puts the picture back on end table. He picks up the gift and raises in eyebrow as he makes himself more comfortable on Yixing’s bed. Yixing’s bed is about half the size of Kai’s, but the younger doesn’t seem bothered by it. “So if you’re giving this to him that means you’ve forgiven him, right?”

“I forgive him but, you’ll give it to him for me right?”

Yixing can see Kai’s frown but the boy doesn’t protest, so Yixing figures he will.  Yixing bites at his bottom lip as he takes the gift out of Kai’s hand and puts it beside his picture frame. He lays down then, letting half of his body cover Kai’s. “Am I too heavy,” he asks, grinning a bit as Kai wraps his arms around him.

“I knew you brought me up to your room for a reason,” Kai teases softly.

“Of course I did,” Yixing says going along with the younger.

It was kind of funny how only a few months ago it never occurred to him that he would be sneaking guys into his bedroom, nor did he ever think that he’d been the one taking control, kissing Kai with all the confidence he was never really aware he had.

It’s funny how the languid kisses in the quiet of his bedroom is the thing that makes him realize that he wants to go farther in their relationship. “What’s so funny,” Kai asks when they stop kissing.

“Nothing,” Yixing says, sitting up and moving away from Kai. “Let’s go before I seduce you.” Kai laughs and grabs the gift of the end table.

“You’re going to give this to Suho right,” Kai asks as he and Yixing stand outside of his house.

Yixing frowns at the question; eyes’ dropping to look at the present in Kai’s outstretched hands. “You said you’d give it to him for me.”

“But if I give it to him he won’t believe that you truly forgive him,” Kai tells him. He pushes the present closer to Yixing. “You won’t have to say anything really, just if you really want things to go back to how they once were, you’re going to have to make the first move. I’ve already tried talking to him.”

Yixing frowns but grabs the gift, ignoring the grin Kai shows him.

Kai leads him into the house, and Yixing follows closely behind, he hadn’t been to Kai’s house since Tuesday and even then the only person that had seen him there was Luhan.

Sehun and Chanyeol are watching some program the television when Yixing enters. Junmyeon is in the living room too, he’s on the other seat, talking on the phone with a small smile on his lips. Kai pulls him over to the loveseat and forces him down beside Junmyeon. He throws a small half-hearted glare in Kai’s direction, as the younger settles on the chair’s arm.

“Hi Lay-hyung,” Chanyeol greets, causing Yixing to break from glaring at Kai to greet him and Sehun.

“Hey,” he mutters, smiling slightly.

“Is that for me,” Sehun asks jokingly.

“No,” Kai tells him. “It’s for Suho.”

Yixing can feel Junmyeon’s stare on him, and he turns his head in the boy’s the direction. Junmyeon’s not on the phone anymore, and Yixing passes the gift to him.

“I forgot to give you this for your birthday,” Yixing tells Junmyeon, passing the gift over to him.

“Kai said you’re going to China for the summer,” Junmyeon says as he grabs the gift. Yixing can hear the slight hesitance in his voice, but before he can answer Sehun groans loudly and leaves.

“What’s wrong with Sehun,” Yixing asks with a frown.

“Nothing,” Kai tells him. Yixing frowns at that, he’s not stupid and he definitely can tell there’s something wrong with Sehun.

“Chanyeol, do you know what’s wrong with Sehun,” Yixing asks. When Chanyeol hesitates, Yixing turns towards Junmyeon. “Do you know Suho?”

“If I’d know you were going to use Suho against me I wouldn’t have helped you make up,” Kai says drily.

“Then you’ll tell me won’t you,” Yixing asks.

“It’s not anything major really,” Junmyeon mutters.

“So if it’s not major, you should tell me,” Yixing says. “You’re overexerting too much energy for something that’s probably not a big deal.”

“I’ll tell you,” Chanyeol says, hand raised slightly as if he’s in a classroom waiting to be called on by the teacher. “They won’t because they know how close you are to your cousin.”

“So my cousin did something,” Yixing guesses. “What did he do?”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol says with a light shrug, a sheepish smile on his lips due to him volunteering to speak when he’s not sure of what’s going on. “It was something about Luhan’s family abandoning him. Neither of them told us about what was exactly said.”

“Are you sure though,” Yixing asks. “Was that all or…” he trails off, eyebrows pulling together as he frowns softly. Zitao had his moments, but he was never that cruel. Then again, there was a lot that Zitao and him weren’t telling each other.

“Um,” Chanyeol starts. “I don’t know, a lot has happened since then. If you want to know exactly what he might have said you should ask Sehun.”

“I’ll just ask my cousin later,” Yixing mutters.

Kai walks him out later after talking to both Chanyeol and Suho for a bit longer, and Yixing lingers slightly, a grin on his lips as he gazes at the younger boy. “You’re not walking me home,” Yixing tells him.

“Why not,” Kai asks with a frown.

“It’s stupid if you walk me there after we already walked from my house to here.”

“You leave on Sunday,” Kai tells him as if he hadn’t already known. Yixing nods his head a small grimace graces his lips as he realizes that he’ll have to pack his suitcase when he got home.

“So,” Yixing says. “You’ll see me tomorrow and Saturday.”

“How about a compromise,” Kai suggests. “I have to go to the convenience store, so I’ll walk with you until there.”

“Okay,” Yixing says, grinning brightly at Kai, he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the extra time and attention Kai had been giving him. Until recently he had been a bit insecure about spending so much time away, worried that Kai would grow tired of him and find someone knew. However, now he was more than sure that they’d be okay.

“Zitao,” Yixing calls out when he gets home. He heads straight to the younger male’s room, and pulls the headphones from over his ears and then sits down on Zitao’s bed. “Come here,” he commands.

He can hear the sigh that passes through Zitao’s lips but Yixing doesn’t relent. “I saw you and Kris earlier,” Yixing says. “sitting inside of Kris’s car. You could have at least let me introduce you.”

“I don’t want to meet him,” Zitao says with a slight whining lift to his tone. “I don’t even want to know why he was here.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Yixing says. “I was just going to ignore it anyway. I’m here because I was told that you said something really offensive to Luhan-hyung.”

“I don’t know which one that is,” Zitao says. “I don’t know them by names.”

“The Chinese one,” Yixing says. “You said something about his family leaving him?”

“I didn’t mean it,” Zitao says eyes widening drastically; he’s biting on his bottom lip as he stares at Yixing with guilt-ridden eyes. “Gege I really didn’t mean it.”

“Tao you always attack them for being orphans like it’s something they can control,” Yixing continues. “If anyone knew why you were here don’t you get that they’d probably treat you the same way as you treat them.”

Yixing can see the telling signs of an emotional Zitao. He’s begun sniffling and he eyes are blinking rapidly.

“I really didn’t mean it,” Zitao says again voice cracking. Yixing bites his bottom lip, yes, he’s disappointed with what Zitao might have said, but still he’s weak when it comes to his cousin crying.

“Then why did you do it,” Yixing asks.

“I was just really frustrated about all of them knowing about who you were dating,” Zitao says. “I felt like they were laughing at me behind my back and I just kind of…said a lot of stupid things.”

“What did you say,” Yixing asks, fingers running though his cousin’s hair as he attempts to calm the younger down.

“I said we were leaving forever because unlike your friend we belong in China,” Zitao says.

“I would tell you to apologize but there’s no point,” Yixing says a moment later. “Luhan would probably forgive you, but I doubt Sehun will, and unless you’re willing to actually take some time out to get to know them, then don’t bother.”

“I’m sorry,” Zitao says. “I felt bad immediately after I said it I just…”

“I know,” Yixing says.

“You should go to school,” Yixing teases his younger cousin as he enters the boy’s room.

“And be there all by myself,” Tao counters, a pout on his lips. “Hyung, you’re going to get in so much trouble. The moment they realize that you, Amber, and Jongdae are missing they’re going to call your parents.”

“I told my teachers that I was leaving either today or sometime this weekend. Besides they’re a bit more relaxed for the extra lessons.”

“What do you plan to do anyway,” Zitao asks. “Walk around the neighborhood till school gets out or…”

“We’re going to get food and then Karaoke and then anything else that we feel like doing at the moment,” Yixing tells him. “I’m not really sure but it’s whatever we decide at the moment.”

“I want to go with you,” Zitao tells him. “Please.”

“If you come you better be prepared because Jongdae’s going to have his camera and there’s no doubt that these pictures will be all over the internet.”

“Ugh,” Zitao huffs. “I don’t think I want to go then. It’s bad enough that Jongdae-hyung will probably hog the microphones.”

“Come with us,” Yixing says grabbing the younger male and dragging him out of the room. “It’s too late to go to school, and you’ll have fun. I promise.”

They do have fun just as Yixing promises. Zitao tries in the beginning to pretend like he’s not enjoying himself but by the end of it he’s smiling as brightly as everyone else, despite the many badly taken pictures of himself on Jongdae’s camera.

Yixing tries to jam as much fun into such a day because he’s more than sure that by the end of his summer vacation, when they’re back in school, things will change. All three of them want to go to universities in different locations, and he’s always been told that his final year of high school would be the hardest, and most important. He couldn’t slack if he wanted to make his mother proud and have a good future.

It scared him to think of how he would have to manage his time between, friends, family, love and school. It didn’t seem like there would be enough hours in the day for him to balance it all.

“I’m going to go,” Zitao tells them, late into the afternoon. His eyes are directed down to his cellphone as he lazily types out a text message. “Kris gets off early.” He hugs Jongdae and then turns towards Yixing. “See you Sunday gege.”

“Tell Kris I said hi,” Yixing tells the younger, watching as he leaves.

“Tao told me that Kai went to your house,” Jongdae says once Zitao’s out of sight.

“Tao told you that,” Yixing repeats. “When did he tell you? You too haven’t been alone together.”

Jongdae makes it a point to wave his cellphone tauntingly, “He told me through text. Did you introduce them? Was it a bloodbath? When Kai was there did you two do anything?”

Yixing pauses as Jongdae bombards him with questions. He tries to mask his laugh but he can’t so he shakes his head in teasing disbelief. “Is that Kai question what you really wanted to ask?”

“I’m just curious because you’ve never done something like that before. Kai’s your first boyfriend hyung, I don’t want you doing anything you’re not sure about.”

“Or Tao asked you about it,” Yixing teases. “I didn’t get to introduce them because Tao refused to leave Kris’s car. I didn’t do anything with Kai either.” He pauses then, a small frown gracing his lips as he thinks. “Jongdae, if I tell you something, you definitely can’t tell Tao, okay?”

“Okay,” Jongdae says easily. “You two are nearly always fighting. I don’t want to be responsible for another fight amongst you guys.”

“We’re not always fighting,” Yixing says frowning once more. “Anyway, I came to the conclusion yesterday that I want to go farther with Kai.”

“You shouldn’t,” Jongdae says suddenly, catching Yixing off guard.

“I shouldn’t,” Yixing repeats, surprise lighting his eyes as he stares at Jongdae. “Why shouldn’t I? You seemed okay with the idea moments ago.”

“It’s not that you shouldn’t do it at all,” Jongdae says, slowly retracting his words. “It’s just that you shouldn’t do it because you feel obligated or you’re worried that his eyes will stray while you’re away.”

“I wasn’t planning to because of those reasons,” Yixing replies.

“Then,” Jongdae starts, he draws his lips together as he drops his gaze to think. “I think you should wait until after you come back from China. Wouldn’t that be better Hyung? It’ll seem more sincere.”

“I didn’t have a date set or anything,” Yixing says. “I just figured since you’ve done it before I could talk to you about how I should bring it up with Kai. I could ask Amber but she’s not here and honestly it’s something I would want to avoid talking to Tao about.”

“Um,” Jongdae starts. “I guess you should be straight forward about it. From what I’ve heard about Kai, he’s not really someone that will reject you.”

“Okay,” Yixing says. “I’ll talk to him about it today.”

“Today,” Jongdae questions, “Hyung, don’t you think that’s a little too soon?”

“No,” Yixing answers shaking head. “It’s probably best to talk about it now. Besides Kai and I are doing really well now, so he’ll probably be more responsive if I bring it up.” Jongdae makes a face of distress that doesn’t go unnoticed by Yixing, and the elder finds himself looking at Jongdae curiously.

“Okay,” Yixing says a moment later.

“Okay what,” Jongdae asks.

“I’ll wait until after my vacation to talk to Kai about this,” Yixing says. “I’ve waited nearly my whole life, so what’s a few more weeks?”

“I don’t want you to regret anything,” Jongdae tells him. “I didn’t think through things clearly my first time and I nearly ruined my relationship with Minseok-hyung. I know you only like Kai, but maybe you should just wait and see what happens.”

“Why do I feel like you’re waiting for something bad to happen,” Yixing mutters.

“I’m not,” Jongdae tells him. “It’s the opposite Hyung, you’re one of my closest friends and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I want to apologize for the impromptu hiatus. I'm sure a lot of you want an explanation and all I can say is that after college, I've been really busy and stressed and the lack of privacy makes it a bit harder to write. I want to also apologize for not replying to your comments during the time, I read them all and I'm really grateful for them! I'll admit that I was a bit nervous finally updating because I was worried you guys would come to your senses and realize that this story really isn't all that great. I'm back though, with regular weekly updates, and once again I'm really really sorry guys!