Yixing hides the purple disposable lighter in his desk drawer before heading to Kris’ house. It’s safe there, no one really looks into his desk drawer like how Zitao sometimes steals things from his closet and his mother puts his clean clothes away for him.

“Tao says you have a girlfriend,” Kris tells him when he arrives at the older male’s apartment.

“Tao’s delusional,” Yixing tells Kris, with a playful grin when he sees Zitao walk into the living room.

“Then who were you with last night,” Zitao asks, “and the days before that? Who’s the person supposedly helping you with your Romeo And Juliet stuff then.”

“A sunbae, a male sunbae Kang Minhyuk.”

“Oh,” Tao says with a frown.

“That’s okay,” Kris says suddenly. “It’s good that you’re taking your studies seriously Xing. Date when you’re ready.”

“Weren’t you trying to tell me that it’s not good to wait before,” Yixing asks him. “Experience is like the golden ticket or something.”

“No,” Kris says with a shake and a shake of his head, he fixes himself on his sofa so that his legs are resting on the Zitao. “I meant that it’s okay to date even if all you think is that the person is kind of cute. It’s also okay to not date or be experienced in certain things. Older girls tend to like the innocent type.”

“So when exactly will the advice for my nonexistent love life stop,” Yixing asks.

“When it becomes existent,” Zitao tells him with a grin. “Then we’ll stop willingly giving you advice because you’ll be running to us for it anyway.”

“Us,” Yixing repeats. “I can see myself going to the experienced one out of you two, and last time I checked you don’t have a girlfriend Zitao.”

“Yeah but let’s not forget that I’m still more experienced than you.”

Staying with Kris is different than staying with Kai and the others. They watch movies, and Yixing makes dinner because the other two are too incompetent when it comes to making anything that isn’t ramen.

At night when Kris goes to bed, Yixing and Zitao pull out the sofa bed, and lay together in the dark.

“Zitao,” Yixing calls out, biting hesitantly at his bottom lip, his arms underneath his head creating a makeshift pillow.

“Hmm,” Zitao hums, his back turned to Yixing.

“I…I think I’m gay.”

Zitao turns to face him at that, leaning in close so that he can see Yixing’s face in the dark. “Because you’re not attracted to girls,” Zitao asks him.

“Because I’m attracted to guys instead of girls,” Yixing answers.

“What makes you think that,” Zitao asks. “Are you seeing that Kang Minhyuk guy?”

“No,” Yixing says with a sigh. “There’s no one I like in particular but…I…I kind of noticed that I pay attention to guys more.”

“Like Kris,” Zitao asks.

“What,” Yixing asks, and then scrunches his nose up in mild disgust. “No. I mean…he’s good looking but he’s Kris. Wu Yifan, I can’t really see him in that way. Besides did you forget he’s an agent for my mom.”

“Good,” Zitao tells him with a sigh, laying his head beside Yixing.

“Good,” Yixing asks.

“I don’t want it to be awkward between us three. Kris-ge already asks about you nonstop I don’t want to be the third wheel any more than I am it’s not fun.”

“I’m sorry,” Yixing tells him, grinning and rolling over on top of his cousin. “I’ll make him stop bugging you about me.”

“Shut up,” Zitao huffs, “don’t do that, it’ll only make me look like an insolent child.” He gently pushes Yixing off of him and Yixing has to bring his hand up to his mouth to muffle his laugh. “So about you being gay.”

Yixing wants to tell him about Kai and his first kiss and how all his doubts were kind of gone in that moment. He wants to mention Junmyeon, how he thinks the older is good-looking with his bright smile and that kind of helped too. “Do you hate me now, do you want me to sleep on the floor?”

“What,” Zitao asks, and Yixing can hear the amusement in his voice.  “Gege I’ll never hate you no matter who you like.” Yixing bites his bottom lip again because he knows just how far that’ll stretch to. “I like both anyway.”

“You like both what,” Yixing asks in confusion.

“Guys and girls,” Zitao answers. “I like guys too, so it doesn’t matter. Besides we’re cousins so I don’t have to worry about you hitting on me.” Yixing softly hits the younger male in the shoulder and turns away.

“I’m going  to sleep,” he announces.

Late Sunday afternoon Kris drives them home and stays around for dinner because that’s a ritual for them, whenever Kris drops them off Yixing always invites him in for dinner and it’s become so much a ritual that everyone just knows he’ll stay, there’s no more of Yixing’s mother trying to persuade him to stay and Kris beating around the bush because he’ll never pass up a good home cooked meal.

“How was your weekend,” she asks the boys and Yixing doesn’t really contribute much to the conversation, he doesn’t want to screw up and accidentally say the wrong thing because even if he gives her the same lie he told Zitao she won’t just leave it at that. His mother isn’t too overprotective she’s just a tad bit nosy and a little more of a worrier. She’ll tell him to bring his tutor friend over so Yixing can stop imposing on his family right after she gets a full background on him.

He lets the other two continue with much of the conversation because that’s how it’s usually done and when dinner is over Kris leaves and Zitao and Yixing head to their rooms.

“When are you going to let me meet that sunbae,” Zitao asks him, as he lounges lazily on Yixing’s bed. While the older male finishes the last of his homework.

“Never,” Yixing answers. “You don’t need to meet all the people I associate with Taozi, It’s not happening.”

“But didn’t he help you realize your uality,” Zitao asks him. “He’s not an associate then he’s like your mentor or something.”

“Jongdae helped me,” Yixing explains. “Did you know Jongdae was gay?”

“You didn’t,” Zitao asks him, with a tiny laugh. “You should pay more attention to things Gege, He’s pretty open about it. I think it’s just because it’s us though.”

“He said he likes someone,” Yixing tells Zitao.

“Does he,” Zitao asks him in return. “Poor him, the guy’s probably straight or something. Jongdae-hyung might be confident but I don’t think he’ll try his hand at a straight guy.”

“You’re probably right,” Yixing says with a sigh.

Over the next two weeks Yixing develops a routine of some sort, he follows Junmyeon home on Mondays and Wednesdays and Thursdays, and the rest of the days he either spends it with Zitao or sitting in the library trying and failing to catch up on homework. When Yixing isn’t doing homework with Junmyeon he’s talking to Sehun about comics and food, or with Chanyeol making music or talking about bands. Sometimes when Luhan isn’t working then the older male will talk to him in their native language letting him in on secrets that that the others don’t want to tell him, particularly ones about Kai.

And then there was Kai, of the two weeks – six days in total of being at their house, he had only spent alone time with Kai twice. The first day he had answered all of Yixing’s questions about the others to the best of his abilities, throwing in funny stories about when they were growing up. He then asked a few questions about Yixing’s life, like his family and school, and let the older male fall asleep on his bed.

The second time they had laid in bed together and listened to music on Kai’s mp3 player. At the time, listening to the music Kai enjoyed, they both enjoyed, it felt like he was finally connecting to the younger male. Yixing could list a few things about Kai, the first being that he didn’t smoke but still brought lighters, the second being that he really cared about Junmyeon and the others, and the third was that he enjoyed the same type of music at Yixing from dancey pop songs to soft mainly instrumental ballads.

The second visit with just Kai, when they were lying on his bed listening to music was also the last visit for that week. It was a Thursday late in the afternoon and Yixing was laying on his side when Kai had turned to face him, the younger male grinned at him and before Yixing could ask him what he was planning, Kai was already rolling him over so that Yixing was lying on top of him.

Yixing had flushed red at the act, from his new position he could feel the rise and fall of Kai’s chest against his own and could see just how long the teen’s eyelashes were when Kai blinked. He was in the middle of committing the deep dark chocolate brown coloring of Kai’s eyes to memory when he felt the younger male softly kiss him.

Yixing’s heartbeat had quickened and his eyes shut close right at the moment Kai had pulled away. When Yixing had open his eyes again Kai was looking him with another a grin and he frowned hitting the younger male’s chest slightly, attempting to move from on top of him, but Kai wouldn’t let him. His arms were around Yixing’s hips and he was leaning in a second time.

Yixing lost count after the fifth kiss, his hesitance slowly melting away as he got used to the feeling of Kai’s soft lips against his as they exchange tiny chaste kisses that keeps Yixing’s heart palpating and his mind distracted.

Yixing feels a tap on his shoulder and jumps slightly, hastly hiding his notebook from sight.

“What was that,” he hears as he turns to glare at his cousin, closing the notebook and shoving it in his bag.

“What was what,” he asks.

“That,” Zitao repeats his eyes on Yixing’s notebook, “who were you drawing hmm? I saw lips and eyes.”

“Everyone has lips and eyes,” Yixing retorts, rolling his eyes. “You’re going to have to be a little more descriptive if you want to catch me doing something.”

“It was a person,” Zitao tells him. “You rarely draw people unless it’s a caricature. That wasn’t a caricature.”

“It’s nothing, it’s just a random guy,” Yixing says with a sigh. “He was handsome,” he adds on quietly when it looks like Zitao wants to ask more.

“You found a guy handsome and you didn’t talk to him,” Zitao asks, whining softly in the back of his throat. “Gege at least try and interact with cute guys. You rarely find people attractive, you don’t have to date them but having them as friends can be nice too.”

“I’ll try next time,” Yixing mumbles. He stands up and stretches lazily; his fingers are cold and aching from exposing them to freezing weather for so long.

“Let’s go the convenience store,” Zitao tells him. “You look red, so we can get hot chocolate to warm you up or even buy Ramen. I’m pretty hungry now that I think about it.”

“Or we can go home and you can eat whatever we have while I sleep,” Yixing suggests, with a tired yawn.

“No thanks,” Zitao tells him. “Why do that when the convenience store is just down the street.” Yixing lazily trails behind him, letting another yawn slip pass his lips. He glances at his phone out of boredom, Kai had texted him earlier, telling to come visit Sunday if he could and Yixing had replied stating that he would be there. That’s when he’d started drawing, lips and eyes and nothing more. Yixing was confused when he thought of Kai his heart beat faster but he wasn’t sure if he liked him or if it was just the act of doing something so completely wrong.

Kai was as bad as the rumors according to Luhan. He was the first to enter a fight and never backed down when someone started a fight with him. He was strong and arrogant but he was still Kai, the second youngest that everyone loved, the kid that was still a kid.

Yixing hadn’t witnessed any of it so he didn’t know rather Luhan was exaggerating or not, all he knew was the Kai that the younger male let him see, a grinning boy with soft pink lips and intimidating eyes.

Yixing’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t see Zitao stop in front of the entrance of the convenience store and ends up running into him.

“What’s wrong,” Yixing asks him, putting his hands on Zitao’s shoulders to peer over the younger male.

“Nothing,” Zitao answers tersely, rolling his shoulders so Yixing would let go. He enters the convenience store, turning to right and Yixing pauses as he catches sight of what had made Zitao so tense.

Luhan’s working, and Sehun’s there like he usually is, banana milk in his hand and a small frown on his lips he gazes at Zitao from the corner of his eyes. He then looks to Yixing and raises his eyebrows but turns back to Luhan. Yixing shuffles awkwardly after his cousin, he feels like a married man that just walked in to see his wife and mistress having a conversation.

“Do they seriously have to be everywhere,” Zitao asks, huffing under his breath.

“They work,” Yixing says softly. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” Zitao casts him a look of disbelief.

“Are you forgetting what you’ve heard about them? They’re misfits, they’re delinquents.”

“Those are just rumors,” Yixing replies, his voice even weaker. His heart is beating, he doesn’t want Zitao to find out about his connection to them, but he doesn’t want Zitao to just talk badly about them like he was doing, Zitao didn’t know them like he did, no one did.

Zitao turns his annoyed his gaze to Yixing. “Are you seriously defending them gege? “Even if they are rumors don’t you think a bit of it has to be somewhat true?”

“But still,” Yixing huffs, “Shouldn’t they be given the benefit of the doubt, you haven’t witnessed anything and neither have I.”

“You’re being too kind,” Zitao states, moving through the store, “there’s a reason why Jongdae stopped hanging out with that one that goes to school. They’re menaces gege.”

Yixing frowns but gives up trying to sway Zitao. “Aren’t you getting ramen,” he asks, watching as the younger male picks out bag of cookies.

“I don’t want to,” Zitao says, heading towards Luhan and Sehun. Yixing keeps his eyes on the floor, as Luhan rings up Zitao’s snacks silently. Once he’s done he mumbles out the price and gives the younger male his change back.

They leave as Luhan mumbles a “have a nice day,” and Yixing turns back to the pair giving them a look that he could only hope came across as apologetic.

Yixing wants to apologize on Zitao’s behavior, he well aware that the pair at the convenicnce store heard what Zitao said about them, and even if they didn’t Zitao’s rude actions was reason enough for an apology.

They don’t lock their doors when they’re home, so Yixing walks into the house the next day, ready to hunt down Sehun and Luhan before he goes to find the person he originally came to see. He doesn’t have to go far, they’re in the living room, lazily laying on the sofa, as they kiss so intimately that Yixing blushes red and turns out of the room, heading towards the kitchen instead.

Kai’s there, drinking a glass of water and doesn’t seem too surprised when he sees Yixing’s flustered face.

“You came early,” Kai acknowledges, and he looks as if he’s trying not to laugh.

“I saw Luhan and Sehun yesterday,” Yixing explains. “I went to the convenicence store with my cousin and I wanted to apologize to them.”

“They told me,” Kai says, placing the glass in the sink and tilting his head at Yixing like he’s asking him to explain further. “Why are you apologizing?”

“My cousin was rude,” Yixing says, “I wanted to apologize on his behalf.”

“Is he sorry,” Kai asks, when Yixing hesitantly shakes his head, Kai ruffles his hair slightly and grins at him. “Then don’t apologize. They’re over it, they’ve been through worse.”

Yixing doesn’t say anything and Kai excuses himself to go get his coat. It’s a colder winter day, and Kai’s dressed the part in a thick black winter coat, that makes him look like he’s completely warm even when it’s zipped open and the wind blows it.

“What do you want do,” Kai asks as he walks them in the opposite direction of everything.

“Why do you never seem to have anything planned when you ask me to hang out with you,” Yixing asks, they’re walking close, like if Yixing just shifted a little to the left he’d accidentally walk into Kai.

“To keep you from getting bored,” Kai answers, “I don’t know what you like to do, so I don’t want to plan something that only I’d enjoy. If I did we’d be eating right now.”

“You’re hungry,” Yixing asks him. “Let’s go eat, whatever you want.”

They take a subway train to downtown Seoul, and Yixing finds out that Kai has a love of chicken when they head towards the nearest KFC. Yixing grins to himself as they eat in silence, that one more thing he’d found out about Kai, and sure it might not have seemed like much, but it was.

“Everyone seems really close,” Yixing muses to himself, recalling the stories he was told.

“We are,” Kai states, “Sehun, Chanyeol and I grew up in the orphanage together, and then we meet Luhan and then Junmyeon. We’re really protective of everyone too; no one’s supposed to go out alone.”

“Why not,” Yixing asks.

“It’s dangerous,” Kai explains, “So many people dislike us for stupid reasons and there are a lot of people that are willing to act on that dislike.”

“But Suho goes to school alone and comes back,” Yixing points out.

“I know,” Kai says with a small frown. “It’s what he wanted, so we can’t disagree. Chanyeol’s good alone. I like to think Sehun and Luhan are okay as long as they stay together.”

“What about you,” Yixing asks.

“I’m fine alone,” Kai says with a twinkle of confidence in his eyes. “I’ve always been, but that’s kind of why we don’t want others to know you hang out with us. We talked about it, you shouldn’t be outcasted or bullied because of us.”

“I can take care of myself,” Yixing says, he glares at the younger male when Kai gives him another of his infamous grins and adds, “my cousin knows Wushu, I’m not completely helpless.”

“Okay,” Kai says, “I believe you. If you want to tell the world you’re friends with us, be my guest.”

“You’re really silent,” Kai tells him, they’re walking through the streets together, heading to no particular destination.

“I’m sorry,” Yixing says with a sigh.

“How come you haven’t asked me about being an orphan,” Kai asks him, ignoring his aplogy.

“I didn’t want to bring up painful memories for you,” Yixing admits.

“My becoming an orphan isn’t a memory, it’s a story I was told, and the rest of my memories at the orphanage aren’t bad.”

“What happened,” Yixing asks him.

“A few days after I was born my mother, I like to think it was my mother, dropped me off near the orphanage. Not in front of it, like a block or so away from it as if walking a few feet farther was as much of a budern as giving birth to me was. I was born in January, and when I was found it took me a week to recover from being out in the cold for so long.”

Yixing doesn’t say anything, his hands are in the blue and white letterman jacket Kris let him keep a few years ago, and he’s looking at the ground as they walk.

“I met Sehun when I saw three,” Kai tells him. “We’re close in age but he’s still like a little brother to me. Chanyeol came around when I saw seven, Luhan when I saw nine, and Junmyeon was there too around that time.”

“You’ve been close ever since,” Yixing summarizes for him.

“Exactly,” Kai explains. “They’re all like brothers to me.” Yixing doesn’t know why but he wishes that he could be included in that list. Sure He’s got Kris and Zitao and they’re family, but watching Kai talk about the others kind of wish he was a part of it, someone that was cared deeply for by a person like Kai.

Yixing knows that when Kai puts his hand on the small of his back he wants to lead Yixing in a certain direction, so when Kai does it while they’re walking the streets of Myeongdong, he lets the older male lead them into a tight space between two buildings where they’re bodies press close enough that Yixing’s wrapped in Kai’s huge goose-feathered coat.

Kai’s hand is gently holding the right side of his neck, and Yixing drops his questioning gaze, as Kai leans forward and kisses the spot under his left ear softly. Yixing brings his lip in between his lips as Kai continues downward, softly kissing the side of his neck, and then his lips.

It’s embarrassing but Yixing’s hormones are raging, he doesn’t want to be kissed softly, he wants to be kissed like the first time, and apparently Kai feels the same way because right after the first kiss, he’s pushing Yixing’s chin up and pressing his lips hard against the older male’s.

Yixing’s thought about kissing Kai again more times than he’d willingly admit, and of all those times he’d stop and think about where’d he put his hands. He didn’t want to wrap his arms around Kai’s neck like the female protagonist in romantic comedy, and he didn’t want to keep his arms at his side like the awkward teen he tended to be.

When it’s the real thing, when he’s pressed up against a building’s wall, with Kai pressed flush against him, the last thing on his mind is where is hands are. They’re the sides of Kai’s white shirt, as he focuses on the kiss, Kai’s lips and tongue, and his response. Yixing kisses back eagerly, still attempting to mime the way Kai kisses him but less hesitant.

They break for air and Kai goes back to planting kisses on his neck and jaw that his Yixing’s stomach dropping like he’s on a roller coaster that just dipped. Yixing might be inexperienced but he knows what that feeling means and he blushes deeply from his neck to his cheeks and gently pushes Kai away.

Kai grins at him breathless and all-knowing and Yixing groans softly, eyes going back to paying attention to the concrete ground below his feet.

“You’re so cute,” Kai tells him, pulling him softly out of the tight space.

They take the train back when the sunsets, and as they walk through the familiar streets of their neighborhood side by side so that they’re almost touching, Yixing stops.

“I–I think I like you,” Yixing admits, loud enough for Kai to hear. He watches Kai’s face for a reaction, and Kai smiles at him, truly smiles, lips stretching wide to expose his teeth and eyes wrinkling and Yixing thinks to himself that underneath the bad boy exterior Kai’s the truly cute one.

I was going to double update but instead I combined both Chapters Eight and Nine to make one huge chapter and here it is.