Yixing doesn’t join a club. Sulli says he shouldn’t and though he tries despite her words, he ends up not joining one. Yixing has many interests and despite only brushing the surface when it comes to a lot of those many interests, it’s hard for him to settle on just one interest, and just one club.

It’s harder to just up and join a club when Yixing only knows a handful of people at his high school, and only feels comfortable around less than half of that handful.

Jongdae tells him that he doesn’t need to join a club either way because there are tons of things he can do. Yixing on the other hand, doesn’t really trust Jongdae’s words because their interests differ completely. While Jongdae feels that video games, and comics are a decent way to pass time, Yixing feels like he’d waste the day away if he spent hours on end immersed in a video game.

Jongdae and Sulli end up being right in the end. There are tons of things he can do to stay productive if he actually wants to avoid hiding out in the library and on top of his school’s rooftop, and Yixing finds himself slowly figuring out those things as days pass.

Some days, Yixing finds himself working to rekindle the friendship between Kris and himself, there’s still a bit of an awkward air between them and Yixing doesn’t like it. Before Junmyeon, there was Kris being that guiding figure in his life, and despite finding it annoying most of the time, he still missed their closeness.

Soon enough Yixing finds himself hanging out with Sulli and her friends. They don’t refer to him as Kai’s ex, or even bring the boy up in his presence. Yixing had seen a handful of them at Junmyeon’s birthday party, and Luhan’s and Sehun’s joint party before, so he’s sure that they know who exactly he is, or who he used to be.

Despite that, they’re all really friendly and treat Yixing as if he’s a friend and not an intrusion to their group. One of the greatest things that came from Kai, was showing Yixing that there was more to life than just school, and his neighborhood. Yixing had been mesmerized by Seoul when he first arrived, but eventually he’d closed himself off to one neighborhood, a group of friends, and a set routine that made him resent nearly all the things in his life.

Yixing feels a brush against his arm, and he finds himself breaking from glaring at his homework to glance up confusion at the person that touched him. Sulli sits in front him, and he finds himself frowning as he glances at her.

 “What do you want,” he asks, glancing down at her homework as well. The pair are at small coffee shop, Yixing doing his homework, and occasionally helping Sulli with her own.

“What are you doing,” Sulli asks him instead, tilting her head slightly as she stares at him.

“Homework,” he replies, glancing back down at the math problem that had gotten him distracted.

“No,” Sulli says, “What were you thinking about, and don’t tell me it was math because you stopped trying to work that problem out minutes ago.”

“Life,” Yixing replies.

“Oh, philosophy” Sulli says nodding her head slightly.  “Tell me more or I’ll start thinking, one math problem has you questioning the meaning of life.” She drops her pencil onto the table and begins to pack up her things. Yixing watches her before speaking up once more.

“Are you already done with your homework,” Yixing asks. They’d only been at the coffee shop for twenty minutes, and Yixing was nowhere near finished with his own homework.

“Almost,” Sulli says slyly. “I’m getting distracted too, so I figured we needed to have a well-deserved break. We should have brought more people with us.”

Yixing doesn’t blame her, they usually don’t do homework while hanging out, and all the friends that Sulli introduced to him were either busy or weren’t interested in doing work during a gathering. Usually Sulli and him don’t do their homework together either, but Yixing had a math test, and Sulli wanted to keep busy before visiting her boyfriend.

“I was just thinking about my life,” Yixing says going back to their original topic.

Sulli grimaces, causing Yixing to laugh softly, “It wasn’t sad right?”

“No,” Yixing says, with a shake of his head, “do I always look like I have a dark cloud over my head?”

“No,” Sulli answers, “It’s just when people are so deeply distracted thinking about their lives, it’s usually because they’re thinking of all the things that’s gone wrong in their lives. I guess it’s good that you seem happy.”

Seems happy doesn’t feel as if it’s the right word, Yixing feels as if he is happy. Well, at least as if he’s finally moving on from Kai. Since the talk with Sulli, he hadn’t actually lingered too long thinking about the younger male or their failed relationship. Yixing was finding new things to distract himself with. He was doing his own thing, and even if at moments he felt as if he still missed Kai, it wasn’t something that would linger with him during most of the day.

He had gotten the space he needed, and the time. Kai wasn’t all he knew and all he wanted anymore, and when he looked at Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, all the burning irrational jealousy he used to feel wasn’t there anymore. Things were moving in a different direction now, and he wanted to believe that it was a sign that he was moving on, because there was no way it could possibly be anything but that. It had to be him moving on.

“Thanks,” Yixing says, “Are you going to Chanyeol’s now?”

“No,” Sulli says pouting slightly, “I have to wait another fifteen minutes. I’m going to get a cappuccino, want something?”

Yixing shakes his head and goes back to his homework. The next fifteen minutes consist of Yixing doing his homework, and Sulli playing on her cellphone.

“Take me to Chanyeol’s,” Sulli asks once she finishes her drink. Yixing looks up from his newly finished homework to Sulli and agrees. Yixing doesn’t really want to spend more time in a coffee shop, especially alone, and Chanyeol’s house is on the way.

Sulli is hesitant and Yixing doesn’t blame her. Yixing used to avoid Kai’s house and all the places he’d chance running into the boy and his friends. Yixing used to take all new routes, to avoid him, but now he felt as if he was finally able to risk seeing him without doing something silly. Besides, it was only a matter of time before his luck ran out. At least now Yixing felt that if he ever saw Kai, he wouldn’t crumble in front of him.

Yixing walks Sulli to Chanyeol’s, and waits until she’s at the front door before walking home to finish his homework.

The days continue on just as smoothly for Yixing after he walked Sulli to meet with her boyfriend. He walks down familiar routes, he'd tried to avoid and still doesn't run into Kai. He avoids where Luhan works still. Yixing doesn't mind running into the other boys by accident, but to walk straight into the lion’s den doesn't appeal to him.

It isn't until a late Saturday afternoon that his luck finally runs out. He's walking on the sidewalk opposite Luhan's workplace when he catches sight of Junmyeon, Kai, and Sehun all together. He freezes in his step, watching as Sehun enters the store first.

Kai and Junmyeon stand at the entrance of the store talking quietly. Yixing feels his heartbeat speed up as he meets Junmyeon's gaze. Kai finally heads into the store and that leaves Yixing alone with Junmyeon. It's too late to pretend as if he hasn't seen him, so he lets Junmyeon cross the street towards him and braces himself for their inevitable talk.

"It's been awhile," Junmyeon says, a small smile on his lips.

"We haven't really talked since..." Yixing trails off, remembering that their last actual talk was before Junmyeon had kissed him.

"Will you talk to me now," Junmyeon asks, reminding Yixing that Kyungsoo had told him that Junmyeon wanted to talk to him.

"About Kai," Yixing asks.

"About everything," Junmyeon replies, "I felt like we needed to talk before you broke up with Kai." Yixing eyes drop to the ground in mild embarrassment as Junmyeon finishes his words.

"Okay," Yixing says, following Junmyeon to take a seat across the street and in front of the convenience store. They're both silent for a while, gathering their thoughts and waiting for the other to speak up first.

"Can I ask you something," Yixing asks. If they're going to talk about things he figures they should start at the beginning.

"Go ahead," Junmyeon says, nodding softly.

"What happened between you and Jongdae? All I know is that you hurt him."

Junmyeon's encouraging smile drops at the mention of Jongdae, but Yixing doesn’t feel bad about it. He need to know what happened, and from Junmyeon himself because the way Jongdae made it seem was that it was Junmyeon’s fault.

“I was a bad friend,” Junmyeon answers simply, and Yixing stares at him wanting him to explain more. “I wasn’t there in his time of need. I befriended Kai around that time, and started to ignore him.”

“Why,” Yixing asks, “was it on purpose?”

“When I lost my parents I became an orphan,” Junmyeon explains. “It wasn’t even one after the other, they died on the same night, and all I had left were their money and properties. Jongdae was there for me during that time, but I took a lot of my sadness and anger out on him. I was a jerk and it didn’t destroy our friendship then but it did put a ripple in it.”

“Then you met Kai,” Yixing asks.

“I met Kai before I lost my parents,” Junmyeon states. “We didn’t suddenly become best friends because we were both orphans, though. Kai’s story is different than mine. He doesn’t even remember what it’s like to have parents, but when I met him, he was like this quiet but strong kid that cared about Sehun and Chanyeol more than himself. We slowly bonded from and over time he became like a little brother to me and I ended up being closer to Kai than to Jongdae.”

“So you just drifted apart,” Yixing asks. He doesn’t think that’s as bad as it seems, but the way Junmyeon’s still looking as if he’s ashamed of himself shows that there’s still more to the story than he’s letting on.

“No,” Junmyeon finally says after a moment of silence. “Everything kind of happened around the same time you know. I was overwhelmed and even though that’s not an excuse, it’s the truth. Around the time I started living on my own, I found out about Jongdae’s grandmother.”

Yixing frowns then, because he can see how the story goes, and all the messing pieces are starting to fit together in his mind. By following Junmyeon’s timeline, Yixing can remember that Jongdae’s grandmother had been at her sickest back then, and since Jongdae was extremely close to her he suffered the most. “You ignored him in his time of need,” Yixing says repeating the words Junmyeon had said.

“I was a bad friend,” Junmyeon repeats, “I had already lost my parents, and I was still trying to cope with it and when things started happening with Jongdae, instead of standing beside him and using my experiences to help him, I turned my back. I knew what I was doing. I knew it wasn’t right, but I still ended up doing it. He tried to come to me once and I just…”

Yixing feels anger for Jongdae, but he also feels pity for Junmyeon. He doesn’t think he could ever do something like that, completely avoiding someone in their time of need, but he can also understand how being around death so soon probably scared Junmyeon.

“Did you know at the time that he liked you,” Yixing asks quietly, “as more than just a friend?”

Junmyeon doesn’t reply verbally, he nods his head in guilt.

“Did you ever like him in that way,” Yixing asks, watching as Junmyeon shakes his head. He already knew the answer to the question, he just wanted to make sure. If Junmyeon had shared Jongdae’s feelings there would have been no way he’d completely abandoned him at such a critical moment in his life.

“If you didn’t like him in that way, why did you kiss me at your birthday party? You knew he was looking right?”

“I didn’t kiss you knowing he was looking,” Junmyeon says. “I didn’t realize he was looking until after the kiss. I kissed you, because I guess I was lonely, and because I liked you.”

“You kissed the guy that was dating the boy that’s like a little brother to you,” Yixing says, softly. He’s still upset about Junmyeon’s lack of self-control during the time, because it had led into other things, things that were more Yixing’s fault than Junmyeon’s, but the kiss had been a start for those insecurities to surface.

“I make stupid decisions,” Junmyeon states softly, “I’m not as good of a person, as you first thought and now you know. I can admit that I liked you, but I can also admit that my crush on you was nothing compared to how Kai felt about you. Not once did I ever lose sleep over you, I never once wanted you to leave Kai and notice me. My feelings spanned as far as me thinking you were cute, and liking how we talked.”

“So you’re not here to confess your undying love for me,” Yixing says. “Then are you here to talk about Kai?”

“No,” Junmyeon replies. “I’m here to clear up the misconception. I’m not going to tell you to talk to Kai if you don’t want to. I don’t think it’s good to force you into doing something like that, or trying to convince you to do otherwise. If you want to talk to him, go ahead we won’t stop or mock you. If you don’t, then don’t, just know that Kai probably won’t come to you even if he does want to talk to you.”

“Why won’t he come,” Yixing asks.

“It sounds like he has a huge pride right,” Junmyeon asks with a laugh. “He does, but the reason why he won’t come to you isn’t because he’s afraid of his pride getting hurt. Kai doesn’t chase after people that don’t want him, it’s not his pride that prevents him it’s his heart. You know his story right?” Yixing nods his head solemnly at that, and Junmyeon rubs his shoulder in a comforting way.

“Kai told me the story of how you two broke up, and I wanted to tell you that even though he said he’d stay with a person if we told him to, and he’d break up with a person if we told him to, that doesn’t really mean much. We would try to convince him to end things with a person if we thought that person was using him or was eventually out to hurt him, but we would never convince him to stay with a person if he didn’t want to.”

“What about when you kissed me,” Yixing asks. “Chanyeol said you normally just remove the people that get in the way, but that didn’t happen to me.”

“Kai wanted you to stay,” Junmyeon explains. “So I said it was okay, because it was okay. I told him I only thought you were cute and I had no real feelings for you, so if he stayed together with you, I’d be happy for the both of you. He decided what he wanted to do.”

“That wasn’t the only thing that made me break up with him,” Yixing says.

“I know,” Junmyeon, “we didn’t make you feel as if you were a part of the group. We’re sorry about that. We all really liked you and everything, but half us have trust issues. You didn’t need to sign a contract saying that you’d be our friend forever, but Kai used to say that you’d get bored after a month, and I think we all kind of thought the same in some way, and every time you lasted a bit longer, we were filled with more doubt instead of just accepting it.”

“He said I’d only last for a month,” Yixing asks frowning.

“That’s Kai’s thing,” Junmyeon says, “he found you interesting, but figured that once you found out the rumors were exaggerated you’d leave. I won’t say what he feels for you is love or even close to it, that’s something that he needs to tell you about, but I will tell you that he stopped taking your feelings lightly even before that one-month time-span ended.”

“What did you think,” Yixing asks, expanding on the question when Junmyeon looks at him in confusion. “Did you think I wouldn’t last for a month?”

“I figured you’d last until you graduated,” Junmyeon confesses, “and then afterwards we’d just be memories to each other. When Kai told me you broke up with him, he was upset by it, but I was kind of relieved it happened now before your feelings for each other got any deeper.”

Yixing goes to speak, but a deeply familiar voice interrupts their conversation. Yixing looks pass Junmyeon to gaze at Kai.

“Suho we’re going,” Kai says, his eyes is directly on Yixing and Yixing finds himself averting his eyes to avoid Kai’s gaze. He watches as Junmyeon stands and makes his way over to Luhan and Sehun, who had been observing the scene quietly. Kai and Junmyeon shares a look, before Kai stalks over to him, and Junmyeon walks away with Luhan and Sehun.

“Zhang Yixing,” Kai says, voice lifting at the end as if he’s asking a question. Kai’s tone seems colder than usual and Yixing can’t help but to stare at the ground, continuing to avoid his eyes. He’s racking his brain for something to say, anything whatsoever, but all that comes to mind seemingly pathetic phases like, I miss you and I’m sorry.

He can’t help but think that maybe that’s the reason why people break up in person. Over the phone you don’t see the person, it’s more impersonal because all you see is the problem and all you hear is their voice. In person you were able to see their reactions, and you had the problem, but you had all the good things there as well, helping you make sure you were making the right decision.

Yixing’s thoughts are interrupted when he sees Kai walking toward him. Yixing stands as his heart beginnings to pick up its pace. Yixing is beginning to panic, because he’s sure he’s going to say something stupid, and he’s not sure if he’ll regret those words afterwards.

“You know,” Kai says, voice soft as he stops right in front of Yixing. “There’s a way to rejoin the group. It’s harder than just buying cheap beer from a convenience store though.”

“Who said I wanted to rejoin,” Yixing asks. His words don’t hold a malicious or spiteful tone to them, they’re just curious and cautious. Yixing wonders if his face is showing all the regret he didn’t want to acknowledge he had.

“No one,” Kai answers simply. “Everyone gets a chance to join, everyone gets a chance to come back. If I don’t tell you no one else will.”

“I had no idea you believed in second chances,” Yixing says, he knew they were kind, but kind didn’t necessarily mean that they were giving out second chances to everyone. Yixing figured he had only history with them just like all the others who had interrupted the functioning of the group by kissing a different member, or breaking up with someone. If he thinks about it, he’s probably had chance after chance to redeem himself.

“There’s still a lot that we hadn’t gotten to show you,” Kai says. He purses his lips together and shrugs as if saying too bad. “I can’t tell you what you have to do to come back. It’s a secret, but if you want to come back make sure you talk to me and not the others.”

“They aren’t as forgiving as you,” Yixing asks while suddenly noticing the way his voice has gotten low.

“Well,” Kai says sighing softly, “no they aren’t, but I’m also the reason why you left so we’d have to talk about it.”

Yixing eyes widen and he looks up searching Kai’s eyes, wondering if Kai is telling him that he wants to talk about their relationship.  If he did want to, Yixing couldn’t help but wonder what exactly they would talk about. Would it be an honest talk that could lead to them get back together, or at least talking through their problems, or would Kai simple tell him that in order to rejoin the group Yixing would have to forget their relationship and the feelings they might still have?

Kai’s eyes dance along Yixing’s face, and Yixing almost expects the familiar quirk of lips that had always told Yixing that Kai was reading him and liked whatever he was seeing. Instead Kai looks more serious as if he’s searching for words, and when he finally finds them his eyes light up just a bit and he leans in closer to Yixing.

“They missed you,” Kai says simply, and Yixing knows that the younger male would never include himself in such a statement even if Kai did in fact miss him. “Decide soon. The offer won’t stand forever.” He pulls away still staring intently at Yixing before finally walking away.

It's still the 14th in South Korea and it's the 14th here, so here's a Kai Birthday update! Anyway first update of the new year, and I hope you all have an amazing year <3. I had another special update in celebration of Kai's birthday and as an apology for making you wait so long, but it's basically just Kai's POV right after their breakup and I don't know if you'd want it or not. I don't really think it's interesting but if you do want it tell me and I'll post it. There's a lot I want to say but I don't want to make this A/N any longer so I'll just say that you won't have to wait so long for the next update ^^