Junmyeon is charming, with his expressive face, kind personality, and sometimes weird behavior. Yixing can understand why Jongdae always seems sad on the rare occasions he brings up Junmyeon. Yixing wishes that things had been different, that whatever happened between them hadn’t. When he’s done with his homework, he bids the grinning male a quick goodbye, packing his bag and heading down out the door.

“Zhang Yixing,” he hears and turns his head towards Kai’s bedroom door.

“Kai,” he breathes out with a tiny smile, Kai doesn’t give his typical grin, he gazes at Yixing silently, eyes drinking in his appearance before straying towards Junmyeon’s door. He turns back to the older male seconds later, nodding at him and heading into his own room. Yixing frowns at the response but heads down the stairs and out the house.

“So how is your comprehension of Romeo and Juliet coming along,” Amber asks him during lunch. The three of them are eating together in the cafeteria, it’s a Friday and Yixing’s a lot less stress because after school he’s going to visit Junmyeon again for more help.

“Great,” Yixing articulates from around his food, he makes a big show of eating and swallowing before he continues speaking. “The person that’s helping me, he’s a genius. I’m understanding a lot more than if you two helped me.”

“And he hasn’t gotten annoyed by your attention span yet,” Jongdae asks next. “And wait, this person’s a guy? I thought it was a girl.”

“He doesn’t mind that I sometimes get distracted,” Yixing says. “He keeps me from getting too distracted anyway, and yes it’s a guym that girl thing came from Tao’s imagination.”

“He keeps you from getting distracted,” Jongdae repeats, resting his chin on his interlocked fingers, eyes narrowing at Yixing, a devilish smirk on his lips. “How?”

Yixing scrunches his nose up in disgust, and flickers a piece of carrot at Jongdae. “Not in whatever way you’re thinking ert.”

“And what way is that,” Jongdae asks him.

“Wait,” Amber interrupts suddenly looking up from her lunch, eyes going from Jongdae to Yixing repeatedly. “Are you playing or…you’re gay?”

Jongdae’s cool appearance is destroyed as he begins laughing so hard that Yixing’s sure the whole room hears him even as he buries his face into his arms resting against the table. Yixing flushes, his face and neck a pale pink at the question.

“No,” Yixing answers.

“Don’t lie,” Jongdae tells him between the laughs.

“I…uh I don’t know,” Yixing admits.

“How do you not know,” Amber asks, leaning in close to Yixing like she’s trying to get a really good look at him for the first time. “Then are you bi?”

“I don’t know,” Yixing repeats again with a huff. Jongdae’s laughter has finally stopped and he’s watching Yixing with a look that's kind of seems sympathetic but also kind of amused.

“Okay,” Jongdae declares with a grin. “I’ll help you figure this out once and for all.” Yixing frowns but Jongdae continues. “You see a guy, you see a guy that looks kind of like Lee Jong Suk, the actor. What’s your first reaction?”

“Who’s Lee Jong Suk,” Yixing asks, Amber groans and slams her forehead so hard into her hand Yixing’s surprised nothing bruised

“The I hear Your Voice actor,” Jongdae explains calmly. “That drama with the tall dude with the lips, that Tao-yah made you watch.”

“Oh he’s good-looking,” Yixing states, frowning once again when Jongdae gets that Cheshire cat like grin on his face. “Tao thinks he’s good-looking too.”

“Tao’s gay too,” Jongdae tells him simply.

“Tao likes model-like women,” Yixing explains, “There’s nothing wrong with thinking another male is good-looking, you’re good-looking and so is Kris-ge and…”

“Yeah there’s nothing wrong with thinking another man is good-looking,” Jongdae tells him. “But you, you’re gay. Plus you’ve never dated a girl or found one attractive.”

“There are plenty of beautiful girls,” Yixing states.

“I didn’t say beautiful,” Jongdae states. “I said attractive, like imagine yourself dating a girl, imagine yourself holding her hand, and kissing her, and eventually doing it with her.” Yixing grimaces as each imagined scenario gets worse in degree. Jongdae laughs but continues.

“Now imagine yourself dating a guy, holding his hand, kissing him, and eventually doing it with him,” Yixing doesn’t say anything and Jongdae sits back in his seat, arms crossed in front of his chest. “You’re gay.”

“I–I am not,” Yixing stutters out. He hadn’t really tried to figure out his uality since the end of middle school when he first realized something was very wrong with him, and despite partially accepting the part of him that had his eyes straying to guys faster than girls, it was still something that he hadn’t exactly wanted to put a label on. Sure he was okay with the prospect of falling in love with just about anyone, but having his uality put out there when he wasn’t sure himself was mortifying.

“You looked totally freaked out when Jongdae said imagine yourself with a girl but then you looked less freaked out and more I don’t know…flustered,” Amber tells him. “I mean if you’re gay it’s okay. Jongdae’s gay.”

“You’re gay,” Yixing asks turning towards Jongdae. “Since when?”

“Since forever,” Jongdae tells him with a laugh. “I guess I should have figured you didn’t know.”

“Do you have a boyfriend,” Yixing asks him.

“Nope,” Amber answers with a laugh. “He’s been single for as long as he’s been gay.”

“My heart is being saved for someone,” Jongdae exclaims indiginantly. He grins a bit to himself as he adds the rest. His voice goes higher in pitch and he clasps his hands together in front of his chest dramatically, “My own Romeo.” Jongdae laughs like he’s joking but it seems so hollow that Yixing can’t help but awkwardly grin.

“Tao’s not the only one that’s a hopeless romantic,” Yixing hears Amber say, but he’s not sure if he agrees. He knows he’s oblivious to most things but he’s pretty good at reading people and their emotions and the look in Jongdae’s eyes resemble the look that he normally has when he speaks of Junmyeon, or when he sometimes gets pulled from his rare daydreams.

“Today we have to study in the living room,” Junmyeon tells him. They’re only a bit away from Junmyeon’s house and they’ve deemed it safe to walk beside each other.

“How come,” Yixing asks.

“My room is way too messy to let anyone in it,” Junmyeon tells him with a grin. “I don’t even want to go in it.” Yixing giggles to himself as he follows Junmyeon up to the gate. “How was your day Lay?”

“I figured out I’m gay,” Yixing states. He’d thought about it more after they finished his lunch, and figured that if Jongdae and Amber were obviously acceptant of a part of him that he tried to hide away than maybe he shouldn’t deny it. It was obvious that his attraction towards other guys wasn’t going to go away, and it made no more sense trying to pretend that it didn’t exist.

Junmyeon pauses at opening the door, and turns towards Yixing in question. “What helped you figure that out,” Junmyeon asks.

“I’d rather hold hands and kiss a guy then a girl,” Yixing admits with a small blush. “I thought it was okay to tell you because of Luhan and Sehun.”

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon tells him. “It’s great, your being gay won’t change anything. Everyone will probably like you more now.”

“Really, why” Yixing asks following him into the house.

“It’s nothing,” Junmyeon says, “just a general statement.”

“Lay-hyung,” Sehun greets when they enter the living room. He’s lounging on the too small loveseat with his head on one armrest and his legs thrown over the other. On his lap sits a comic book and his hair is a ruffled bedhead mess like he’d just awoken from a nap.

“Hi Sehun,” Yixing greets, sitting on the floor with his bag, Junmyeon sitting beside him. They’re sitting close enough where their knees brush at any movement but it doesn’t bother Yixing the way touching Kai bothers him.

“What are you doing here hyung,” Sehun asks, sitting up and ruffling his hair more. He drops to the floor, crossing his legs under him like the two older men are doing.

“Studying,” Junmyeon answers for Yixing. “We’re going over Romeo and Juliet.”

“Romeo and Juliet huh,” Sehun repeats. “I read something like that before.”

“You read Romeo and Juliet before,” Junmyeon asks him.

“I said I read something like it not the actual thing, Romance tragedies aren’t my style. I did read that one play. The one with the salad name, J–Julius Caesar.” Junmyeon and Yixing both laugh a little at Sehun’s description and Junmyeon teases him a slight bit asking him if he read it in comic form.

“Comics and manga are really amazing you know, you get pictures, words, and plot all in one,” Sehun says. “It’s better even better than movies or drama shows.”

“I’m sure it is,” Junmyeon tells him with one of his falsely understanding smiles.

“Yeah well I don’t care what you think,” Sehun states stubbornly, turning towards Yixing. “Lay-hyung what do you like to do?”

“Everything,” Yixing answers but pauses tilting his head slightly, a small smile on his lips. “Nothing?”

“What,” Sehun questions, tilting his head curiously. “Why are you talking in riddles?”

“I like trying new things,” Yixing explains, “but I don’t think I’m particularly good at anything.”

“Except for drawing,” Junmyeon adds.

“What do you know about my drawing?”

“Kai told me,”” Junmyeon clarifies.

“Oh,” Yixing mumbles, Kai barely talks to him but apparently he talks about him a lot. Yixing figures that maybe he’s quiet by nature, and as time progresses they’ll have more conversations. It’s strange to think that only a few weeks ago Yixing would see them and turn away not wanting to go against the status quo.

They get to work on Romeo and Juliet first, Junmyeon and Yixing sitting close together to read off the same book, while Sehun watches them for a while before stretching and walking away. Junmyeon explains that Luhan’s at work so Sehun’s bored.

They’re about done for the day when feminine laughter enters Yixing’s ears and he’s snapping his attention away from the book in front of him to the entrance behind him. Five people enter the living room, two of them wearing the Shin-Jae girls’ school uniform. One girl has long black hair, and the other had shorter brown hair.

“Who’s this,” the one with brown hair asks, eyeing Yixing with a grin on her lips.

“This is Lay,” Junmyeon tells her, handing Yixing back his book and moving slightly away from the younger male.

“Oh hi Suho-oppa,” the browned haired girl says, eyes straying away from Yixing to look at Suho. “Lay huh,” she then repeats, both girls turn towards each other and Yixing decides to pretend like he’s reading, Chanyeol’s sitting on the love seat, and Kai’s sitting beside him on the sofa but neither boy has uttered a word yet?

The girl looks like she’s going to speak again when Sehun’s voice cuts her off. “Krystal you dyed your hair back to black,” he states, eyes on the other girl. “I liked it red.”

“My roots started showing and I didn’t want to fry my hair like you’ve done yours,” the girl known as Krystal explains, stepping pass them to head over to Sehun, a grin on her glossed lips.

“So Lay-oppa right,” the brunette asks.

Yixing blinks, and takes his attention away from his book to look at the girl;  the taller of the two with the short hair is sitting down on the armrest of the loveseat, her lips pulled back in a smile, as she eyes him. Yixing’s never been called oppa by a girl older than twelve so he doesn’t know how to react to her question besides awkwardly nodding his head.

“Leave him alone Sulli,” Kai tells her.

“But he’s cute,” Sulli says with a pout. “Oppa are you single?”

“He’s gay,” Junmyeon answers for him, and Yixing blinks stupidly turning towards Junmyeon with a glare, he softly hits his shoulder. He’d only just figured out his ual orientation a few hours ago and now Junmyeon was telling it too the world.

“You've heard him, you can go now,” Yixing hears Luhan says, handing the Krystal girl a plastic white bag.

“Too bad,” Sulli mutters, heading towards the exit, Kai following her.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Junmyeon tells Yixing. “Sehun and Luhan love you so they’ll just love you more now that they know you’re gay.”

“Yeah Lay,” Luhan says, leaning over the sofa to grin down at Yixing. “It’s no big deal. I mean it’s a big deal for you but we won’t look at you any differently. It’s actually a relief to know.”

“Or it makes things more complicated,” Sehun mutters, whining in his throat when Luhan reaches out to hit him.

“Well ignoring them,” Chanyeol states, speaking up suddenly. “We would have found out eventually, especially Kai. You can’t keep secrets from Kai.”

Yixing wants to ask him what he means because even though Kai has an aura that demands attention, Kai said Junmyeon was the leader and he was one of the youngest. They should be able to keep secrets from him if he wanted to. Chanyeol doesn’t stay, in the next second he’s standing up with ha bright smile and walking pass the other four.

“Anyway,” Junmyeon states, his eyes straying to his cellphone to check the time. “Isn’t this normally around the time for you to go home?”

“I haven’t finished my homework,” Yixing admits. “Can I stay until then? My mom’s in Busan for work so I have to spend the night at a friend’s place. He doesn’t care if I’m a little late.”

“You should spend the night here,” Luhan tells him, and Yixing admits to himself that he kind of forgot that Sehun and he were behind him.

“Yeah,” Sehun adds, “it’ll be fun.” The front door opens again, and Yixing turns awkwardly to see who has come in.

“Kai,” Sehun calls out. “Lay is spending the night, and he’s going to sleep with you okay?” Yixing reddens as Kai walks in looking over to him as he sits on the same sofa spot beside Yixing.

“Wouldn’t he be more comfortable sleeping with Suho,” Kai asks, leaning over to get the remote control and then sitting back on the sofa.

“My room’s messy Kai-yah,” Junmyeon states, “besides Lay likes your bed more.”

“I can sleep on the sofa,” Yixing states, interrupting the pair. “It’s okay when I go to my friend’s house I sleep on the sofa.” Kris’s sofa has a pull out bed and it’s big enough for both him and Zitao to sleep in, but Yixing doesn’t have a problem sleeping on their sofa. He can’t help but think to himself that even if they’re okay with him being gay, no one wants to share a bed with him when they barely know him.

“You can sleep in my room,” Kai speaks up suddenly. “The sofa .” Yixing blushes again and mumbles a thank you.

Yixing calls Zitao and tells him he’s spending the night at his tutor’s place, they worked late because Yixing didn’t have to go home right away, and now it was too late to go anywhere.

Zitao tells him that Kris can come get him if he wants but Yixing declines, he tells the younger male that it’s okay, he’ll be there on Saturday. Zitao reluctantly agrees and Yixing promises to do something for him when he needs it.

Later six of them, six because Chanyeol comes back about a half-hour later, settle down to watch a movie. Despite the fact that the loveseat is big enough for three people, especially with Sehun and Luhan cuddled close together, the two blond boys have it to themselves.

Chanyeol forced Yixing up on the sofa, and he sits with his legs folded under him beside Kai while Chanyeol and Junmyeon occupied the floor in front of them. The movie, is an action thriller movie about a murder mystery. Their dinner is popcorn, and chips, and carbonated drinks that his mother would have had a fit if she knew he was eating it.

Yixing watches the movie till he’s barely paying attention. It’s about halfway done and though he really wants to find out who murdered the girl, he’s close to dozing off. He feels fingers wrap around his wrist, tugging slightly at him and he looks from the screen of the television to the hand holding him, eyes roaming along the arm till he’s looking into Kai’s eyes. Kai nods his head and Yixing tilts his, confused, while the younger male muffles a laugh. The hand around his wrist tightens, and Yixing follows as Kai climbs off the sofa, avoiding the pair on the floor below him. They don’t tell the others that they’re leaving to possibly go to bed and no one asks or makes any move to acknowledge them.

“You looked sleepy,” Kai tells him, as they climb up the stairs to the second floor of the house.

“I am,” Yixing admits, a tired yawn escaping his lips, as he follows Kai with his wrist still being held. “I wanted to find out who did it first though.”

‘It was the boss,” Kai tells him. “He was having an affair with her and they got into a fight, he didn’t do it on purpose though.”

“Did he confess,” Yixing asks, they’re inside Kai’s room now, and Yixing sits on the younger male’s bed as he turns the lights on.

“Nope,” Kai answers. “They found out, and he got arrested.”

“That ,” Yixing says, another yawn has him scrunching his eyes and nose up and opening his jaw wide. Kai hands him clothes and Yixing eyes them with a look of confusion.

“Do you plan to sleep in your uniform,” Kai asks him. “Wear that okay?” Yixing nods and stands, the clothes in one hand as he looks over to the exit unsure rather he should change in front of Kai or go all the way back downstairs to the bathroom.

“Change,” Kai tells him. “I’ll turn away if you’re uncomfortable. I have to change too anyway.” Yixing lazily nods his head and slips out of his blazer and takes off his tie, he glances over to Kai who’s got his shirt off, exposing the lean muscles in his back and Yixing blushes a little going back to undressing and redressing himself.

They lay together in Kai’s extremely sofa bed with the lights off, even without lights Yixing can feel Kai’s eyes on him and when he turns to face the younger male, he doesn’t speak. Kai’s eyes are intimidating, the way he stares at people, at Yixing, makes him nervous. Kai looks at him like he’s seeing through him, reading the thoughts in his head like it’s a bestseller.

“You’re gay,” Kai says, and Yixing’s glad that it’s dark in the room because the bluntness of the statement has him flustered. Kai always gets him flustered.

“I am,” Yixing confirms.

“Do you like Suho,” Kai asks. Yixing blinks, does he like Junmyeon in that way, yes he was handsome, and kind, and easy to talk to, but did that mean he liked him?

“No,” Yixing answers after a second. “We get along but I don’t like him like that.”

“Good,” Kai mumbles, one hand going up to run through Yixing’s short hair before settling on his cheek. Yixing frowns at the younger’s words, he doesn’t understand why it’s good and he doesn’t know if he should feel offended or worried.

He doesn’t get to ask through because only a second later, Kai’s leaning in and pressing his lips against Yixing’s slightly thinner ones. Kai kisses him, plush lips moving against his own, and after the shock starts to ebb away, he tries to mime the younger male. Yixing’s never kissed anyone before and kissing Kai, being kissed by Kai was a whole new experience. The younger male moves his lips against Yixing’s lazily, and when Yixing feels a wet tongue slide across his bottom lip, he hesitantly opens his own.

He feels Kai hand holding onto his neck as if he’s trying to bring him closer, trying to meld Yixing into him while he using his tongue to tell Yixing to kiss back, and he does. He tries copying Kai from tongue movement to lip movement and even if he’s not doing it right it still feels sort of nice, Kai kissing him and him kissing back.

Kai pulls away, and it isn’t till he’s breathing in short pants that he understands why. When his breathing calms down and his heartbeat isn’t ringing in his ears he looks up and catches Kai’s eyes watching him again.

“Goodnight, Zhang Yixing,” Kai tells him with obvious amusement in his voice, and Yixing frowns. He’d just kissed Kai, he had just been kissed breathlessly by a person for the first time ever and it was Kai. Did that mean Kai liked him, or was it just to do it? Yixing didn’t know the first thing about relationships rather it be with a guy or a girl, but he did know that he shouldn’t read too into a kiss.

Nowadays for a lot of people kissing was like handshakes, they rarely meant anything, maybe Kai thought Yixing looked kissable at that moment, thinking back to before, Kai seemed kissable at that moment too, with his dark hair in his eyes, and his smoldering gaze.

Yixing wakes after the sun is already in the sky, he’s alone in Kai’s fluffy bed and as he turns to face the side Kai was laying on the events from last night floods back into his mind like a bullet to the brain. He’s not sure if it’s real, it seemed real at that moment but he had been tired and it could have all been a very vividly detailed dream.

Yixing reluctantly climbs out of the bed, on Kai’s desk chair is a toothbrush and towel and Yixing grabs the things and heads to the bathroom down the stairs, brushing his teeth and cleaning his face. He then heads down to the kitchen where Chanyeol and Luhan are playing rock, paper, scissors.

“What are you doing,” Yixing asks him, and he watches as both boys eyes stray to him, he bites his bottom lip in embarrassment when he realizes that the pair are ogling the slightly baggy long-sleeve shirt and shorts Kai gave him to sleep in.

“We’re deciding who’s making breakfast,” Luhan says when with a small smile. “I don’t feel like it today.”

“And I’m not great at it,” Chanyeol states. “I’m better than the rest so Luhan and I are always the ones that have to worry about cooking and such.”

“I’ll cook,” Yixing states, with a grin. “I think I cook well, and I owe you guys for letting me spend the night.”

“You don’t owe us anything Lay,” Luhan tells him with a slight frown. “You’re one of us, you don’t need to cook.”

“If I one of you now then I have more of an obligation to cook,” Yixing states with a grin. “I honestly don’t mind and neither of you want to do it. I like cooking.”

“Fine,” Luhan huffs, throwing his hands up and stepping away from the stove.

“Can you make western style omelettes,” Chanyeol asks, “oh and pancakes.”  Yixing laughs to himself as Luhan hits Chanyeol in the arm and the taller male whines a bit.

“I’ll make both if you have the ingredients,” Yixing answers, with a grin. He makes enough food for the six of them and just as he’s finished setting the table with the help of Chanyeol, the other teens start to enter.

“Lay-hyung made breakfast,” Chanyeol tells the other guys as the file in and sit in random seats.  “Omelettes and pancakes to keep us stuffed for the whole day.”

“You shouldn’t force people to do your chores,” Junmyeon teases Chanyeol, a grin on his lips.

“If you’re so bothered by who’s cooking, why don’t you prepare dinner Suho,” Luhan retorts, from his spot beside Sehun.

“No thanks,” Junmyeon mutters, sitting down quickly. Yixing grins slightly but stops when Kai enters lastly and sits down on the only seat available which is beside him. Kai doesn’t say anything; he fixes the shirt hanging slightly off Yixing’s shoulder and starts eating.

They don’t have enough knives so they have to share the two they have to cut up their pancakes and omelettes. Eating with six teens boys is far from a quiet affair, every single one boy is completely noisy and even though Yixing doesn’t contribute much to the conversations his voice can still be heard due to his laughter and sometimes answered questions.

“Are you going to that friend’s house,” Kai asks Yixing after breakfast.

“No,” Yixing answers with a shake of his head, he’s wearing his now wrinkled uniform and he doesn’t think it would be a good idea to go to Kris’ place like that. He doesn’t know why but he thinks it’s best to change into normal clothes, wearing his wrinkled uniform to Kris’s place makes him feel like he spent the night out and even though he did, it makes it feel scandalous. Besides he needed to pack clothes to wear for Sunday.

“I’ll walk you home then,” Kai tells him. Yixing doesn’t say anything afterwards and Kai lays back on his bed, taking his cellphone out of his pocket. Yixing wonders how he has things like cellphones and gaming systems, and a nice house with nice furniture, but he doesn’t ask.

They all say goodbye like it’s the last time they’ll see him, Yixing will probably be back on Monday pestering Junmyeon to help him, then maybe on Wednesday just because. He can’t go back whenever he wants, Zitao will get suspicious and Zitao can’t know. Zitao doesn’t like them and has expressed his contempt for them on numerous occasions.

Yixing and Kai walk together in silence, Yixing lost in his thoughts, and Kai giving him his usual silent treatment. The older of the two jumps slightly when he feels a hand on the small of his back and he looks over to the younger male with questioning eyes. Kai’s hand slowly moves to the edge of his waist as he turns down the street away from the direction of his house.

They’re in the park; the same park Yixing had ran into Sehun and Luhan, the same park Yixing used to spend his non-library days. They’re on one of the uncomfortable green metal benches, Yixing and Kai knee to knee. Yixing looks at Kai and when he realizes that the boy is looking at him he drops his gaze nervously and turns away. They’re sitting so close that Kai’s elbow brushes against him as he reaches into his black jacket pocket and pulls out a purple lighter.

“I thought you didn’t smoke,” Yixing states, when he watches as Kai pushes down on the lighter and an orange flame dances out of the tip.

“You don’t have to smoke to have a lighter,” Kai tells him. He lets go of the tiny button and hands it over to Yixing. Yixing holds in his hand and tries to ignite the flame, failing the first time at rolling the wheel and pressing down the button.

“I can’t do it,” Yixing states. “I used to never be able to. It’s subconscious fear that I’ll accidentally burn myself. The only lighters I can use are the ones for lighting grills and stuff, because the flames are far from my skin.” He hands the lighter back to Kai and watches as the younger male’s thumb rolls the tiny metal wheel and presses the button down with amazing ease.

“It takes practice,” Kai tells him, his eyes dropping from Yixing to stare at the flickering fame. “Do you hate me?” Yixing blinks, and bites down on his bottom lip in worry.

“No,” he answers. “Do I make it seem like I hate you.”

“You tense up in front of me,” Kai tells him. “I should be happy you even talk to me. If you don’t hate me then are you afraid of me?”

“I – No,” Yixing replies.

“It’s okay,” Kai tells him, and the flame stops. “I’m dangerous or whatever. It’s only common sense for you to act like this with me.” Kai stands and Yixing stands too.

“I’m not afraid of you,” he says, grabbing onto the younger male’s arm. “Honestly it’s not like that.”

“Then are you attracted to me,” Kai asks him. Yixing blushes and refuses to make eye connect with him. He looks down at the floor in between them because he doesn’t want to know if Kai’s grinning at him or staring, he doesn’t think he could deal with either thing at the moment.

“It’s not like that,” Yixing mumbles, he sees Kai’s hand reach out, and he lets the teen grab his right hand and put the purple lighter in his hand.

“That ,” Kai says with a sigh, and Yixing frowns. “I need to get going, but you can keep that. Practice with it so you can get over your fear. They aren’t that dangerous either, it’s like holding a heated pan, if it gets too hot you just move your hand away.”

I was supposed to go clubbing tonight but apparently that's something I need to do when I'm back to dorming so here's a really long update instead. I know I update often enough already but I plan to do like every other day updates because I'm going back to school soon and I'll still be writing but updates will probably slow down.