A/N: It's been 8 months (and 12 days). I'm so sorry. You have no idea how much I thought about this fic, worried about this fic, angsted about this fic. This chapter is honestly so not worth the wait, but I put so much time and effort into it and I know that I'm never going to be satisfied with it because nothing can be worth this wait but I have to post this now before I lose the will to and then let this fic die. I refuse to, I want to - need to - finish this. This fic has grown to mean more to me than almost any other story I've ever written, and you guys mean a lot to me too. Thank you for everything, and once again, sorry. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I tried really hard to write this. That's all I can say now: I tried and I'll continue to try.

The third time Taeyeon wakes up, it’s with a soft, warm body pressed right against hers. Her front is plastered to Jessica’s back, her leg slipped between Jessica’s, her face buried in Jessica’s hair. She seems to have a talent for getting tangled in the blankets, because she’s trapped in them again, but this time Jessica’s in the cocoon with her. She doesn’t really mind; it’s not like she’s in a hurry to extricate herself from Jessica.

Jessica’s still deep asleep, her chest rising and falling minimally with her breaths. Taeyeon’s glad that the blankets are covering her form, because Taeyeon may be tired but she’s not dead. She reaches out, fingers tracing over Jessica’s shoulders, down the smooth skin of her back, her touch light but intent heavy. She’s touched all this skin, kissed it, tasted it, but she certainly hasn’t had enough of it, hasn’t had enough of Jessica.

She’s far from a novice between the sheets, but she wonders why this time had felt so different. Better. More. Like it wasn’t just their bodies coming together, but something beyond that.

They hadn’t said much to each other once their clothes came off, but looking at Jessica’s peacefully sleeping form now, Taeyeon feels a wealth of words lying in wait in .

“I want you,” she whispers, because she feels like she wants to say something, has to say something, and the words are definitely true. However, she has a strange feeling that ‘want’ isn’t quite the right word.

Taeyeon, warm and content beside Jessica, is half drifting off when she feels Jessica stir. Her movements are minimal at first, like sleep is still clinging to her. It takes her a good couple of minutes to actually say something.

“Five more minutes,” she mumbles.

Taeyeon smiles. “Morning.” She actually has no idea what time it is. It could be the afternoon for all she knows; they could have slept through the day. They certainly wore themselves out last night, and it’s not like anyone would wake them up since they don’t have schedules today.

“Taeng…oo?” Jessica asks through a yawn.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Taeyeon doesn’t realize how tender her voice is until she hears it herself. “You can go back to sleep if you want. It’s a day off.”

“Hmm. You’re warm.”

She chuckles. “Yeah, I guess sharing body heat is really effective. It’s a good thing to keep in mind if we’re ever stranded in the cold.”

“Stran…ded?” Jessica yawns again, sounding even less awake.

Taeyeon laughs again. “Go back to sleep, Sica.”

“You…go…anywhere?” Jessica barely sounds coherent. “Don’t.”

“No, I’m not,” Taeyeon says softly. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.”

“With me.”

“With you.”

“You should—” Jessica cuts off, like she lost her train of thought. “Sleep too.”

“I will.”

“With me. Not like with me with me, just… Sleep. Sleep is good.”

If Taeyeon smiled any wider, her face would hurt. “Yes, it is,” she says indulgently, affectionately. “So sleep, okay? It’s especially good for you.”

Jessica doesn’t reply. She’s already asleep.

Taeyeon means to stay awake a little longer, but she finds herself knocking out too.

The fourth time Taeyeon wakes up, it’s because she’s being jarred to consciousness by someone knocking into her.

“Oh,” Jessica says, in the middle of moving around in the blanket. “Sorry.”

They’re face to face now – Jessica has impressively managed to turn a hundred and eighty degrees – but not any closer to getting out of the blanket.

“You’re awake,” Taeyeon says dumbly.

“Yeah,” Jessica says with a quirk of . “I wanted a drink so I tried to get out of bed but – I couldn’t move.”

“Um. Yeah, sorry. I kind of did my blanket thing again.”

“I noticed,” Jessica says wryly, but she doesn’t sound or look annoyed. Not at all. “Is this your way of telling me you’re into ?”

Taeyeon stares, her eyes wide, opening and closing a few times. She probably looks like a goldfish right now.

Jessica laughs; giggles, really. “I’m just kidding. You’re really bad with blankets, aren’t you? How have you survived all these years?”

“Well, I-I’m usually not like this.” Taeyeon swallows. “I—sorry. I hope you don’t catch a cold.”

Jessica looks like she’s going to laugh again. “You have the best pillow talk, you know?”

“I—” Taeyeon bites her lip. “Sorry,” she mumbles.

“Taeyeon.” Jessica’s gaze is somehow soft and hard at the same time. “Stop apologizing. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Unless…” Her eyes look a bit dimmer now. “…unless you regret it?”

“No, of course not!” Taeyeon’s voice comes out high to the point of being shrill. She clears . “Of course I don’t regret it.” She holds Jessica’s gaze. “Of course I don’t regret this.”

It’s like a light turns on in Jessica’s eyes. The way she looks at Taeyeon makes Taeyeon feel like a light turns on inside her as well. She leans forward to kiss Jessica, but Jessica turns her face away. Taeyeon’s heart sinks.

“Morning breath,” Jessica says with an embarrassed chuckle. “Don’t kiss me, my mouth probably tastes really gross right now.”

“I don’t care,” Taeyeon says, but now that she thinks about it, her breath is probably disgusting and she doesn’t want to subject Jessica to that.

“You can kiss me after I brush my teeth.”

“Can you do it soon?”

Jessica smiles. “I will once I get us out of this blanket burrito you have us in. What are you trying to do, chain me to your bed?”

Taeyeon’s mind takes her to a very vivid fantasy at those words. She shakes her head to clear her mind of it, not because it’s unpleasant but rather the opposite. Jessica raises an eyebrow at her, and she flounders for some words.

“Technically, this is your bed.”

“That’s true,” Jessica says. Suddenly, she looks shy again. “It can be your bed too, if you want.”

Taeyeon stares at her. They live down the hallway from each other, so it’s not like Jessica’s offer is some huge deal. It’s not like she’s asking Taeyeon to move in with her. But still…

“That depends,” Taeyeon says cheekily. “Can I chain you to it?”

Jessica snorts and elbows her. Well, she has a limited range of motion due to the blanket, so it’s not actually painful, but Taeyeon pretends to be in pain anyway.

“Ow! Is this your way of telling me you’re into S&M?”

“You’re the one who was reading Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“I wasn’t!” Taeyeon protests. “That was Tiffany.”

“Sure, ByunTaeyeon.” Jessica’s eyes are twinkling. Taeyeon really wants to kiss her, morning breath be damned.

“I’ll show you ByunTaeyeon,” she grumbles, trying to roll over Jessica, but she can’t move enough to accomplish that.

“Is this ByunTaeyeon? All I’m seeing is old lady Taeyeon.” Jessica’s voice is full of mirth. She sounds like she’s having the time of her life in this blanket cocoon with Taeyeon.

“Well, you’re the one who wants to bang an old lady, so clearly you’re messed up.”

Jessica rams her shoulder into Taeyeon’s. This isn’t what Taeyeon meant by ‘bang.’

“Why do you keep hitting me?” she whines. “This is domestic violence. I told the girls we didn’t have an abusive relationship.”

Jessica stills, her expression freezing.

“What’s wrong?” Taeyeon asks cautiously.

“The girls.” Jessica’s voice drops. “They know.”

“That I spent the night in your room? Well…yeah.”

Jessica groans. “Yuri was already making innuendos about our life. She’s never going to let me live this down.”

Taeyeon stares at her. “Yuri was…what?”

“Yeah, she thinks she’s our matchmaker or something and she always wants to talk about us.” Jessica rolls her eyes. “And she’s always saying these suggestive things. I just want to tape shut sometimes.”

“Sounds .”

Jessica pins her with a glare that makes her shut immediately. No tape is as effective as one of Jessica Jung’s death glares.

“Well…” Taeyeon hunts for something to say. “She’s bound to find out someday, right? I mean, they already know we’re dating. And we’re not nuns.”

“I don’t think nuns date, Taeyeon,” Jessica says wryly. “Especially not other nuns.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, you’re lucky I’ve become better at speaking Taeyeonese.”

“Taeyeonese,” she laughs. “Are you fluent yet?”

“Not quite. I’m working toward my degree.”

“In Taeyeonese?”

“In Taeyeon Studies,” Jessica says very seriously, like she’s actually a student talking about her major. “Taeyeonese is a requirement, of course.”

“Of course,” Taeyeon echoes. She doesn’t even know what to say. Jessica’s so weird sometimes, but then again, so is she. Maybe Yuri had a point. “Excuse me. I didn’t know there was a program that revolved around me.”

“Well, you do now. I expect an honorary lecture from you in the near future.”

“Sure, I’ll give you an honorary lecture if you give me an encore performance.”

Jessica looks like she doesn’t know whether to laugh or what. “Okay, you’re right. You’ve definitely shown me ByunTaeyeon.”

“Of course I’m right. I’m always right. Didn’t you learn that in Taeyeon Studies?”

Jessica does laugh this time, clear and sweet. “I think I learn better through application,” she says, a glint in her eyes. “A practical demonstration of your claim would be really helpful.”

Well, Taeyeon is totally on board with that, but—

“How do we get out of this blanket?”

By the time they make their way to the kitchen, Taeyeon is so hungry that her stomach is making sounds that can probably be heard from the street.

“I wish we still had some japchae left over,” Jessica says, opening the fridge and staring at the contents.

“Yeah? Did you like it that much?”

Jessica turns around and their eyes meet. “I loved it,” she says quietly.

Taeyeon’s throat goes dry. “I’ll make it for you again.”

Jessica smiles. “You did promise to cook for me more.”

“Maybe you should get me a cookbook for Christmas,” Taeyeon suggests. “You can put all your favourite recipes in there and I’ll learn them.”

Jessica hesitates. “That sounds like a lot of work.”

“It’s okay, I like learning new things. And cooking can be pretty fun.”

“No, I mean for me. I have to look up all those recipes and write them down? No thanks. That’s what the Internet is for.”

Taeyeon laughs.

“I appreciate it though,” Jessica says, eyes and voice soft. She shivers and turns back to the fridge. “Okay, what do you want to eat?”

“Food.” She’s so hungry that she doesn’t really care.

“That’s very helpful, Taeyeon.”

“What can I say? I aim to please.”

“You can please me if you decide on something to eat for breakfast. Well, brunch.”

Taeyeon steps up behind her and wraps her arms around Jessica, pressing her body against hers. It feels different to do it vertically. “I can please you in other ways too,” she murmurs into Jessica’s ear.

Suddenly, there’s a throat being cleared very loudly and pointedly. Taeyeon’s head whips around.

Sooyoung’s expression is somewhere between I wish I had a camera for blackmail material and I really didn’t need to see that. “I would say get a room but apparently one isn’t enough for you guys.”

Jessica isn’t blushing, exactly, but the way she takes a step away from Taeyeon is telling. She keeps her arm against Taeyeon’s though, one solid line of contact between them.

“Did you eat?” Taeyeon asks conversationally.

“We all ate already. You two, er, stayed in bed for a long time.”

“We were sleeping.”

“I’m sure,” Sooyoung says with a smirk.

Jessica does this thing where she doesn’t actually roll her eyes but superbly accomplishes the effect nevertheless. “Where is everyone?”

“Hyoyeon and Juhyun are talking about planting trees or saving orphans or something like that. Yoona, Sunkyu and I are gaming.”

“Of course,” Taeyeon says wryly.

“And – Yuri and Tiffany?” Jessica asks.

“They went out somewhere,” Sooyoung replies.

“Together?” Taeyeon asks.

“Well, not together like you two, but – yeah, they left together.”

Taeyeon casts her eyes to Jessica at the exact same moment Jessica looks at her. Jessica’s expression is…not grim, exactly, but not happy either. Taeyeon feels like hers is probably similar.

Jessica redirects her eyes to Sooyoung. “Can I help you with something? Do you want something from the fridge?”

“Yeah, I want some yogurt,” Sooyoung says. “That’s why I came here.”

Jessica hands Sooyoung a bottle of strawberry-flavoured yogurt. At Sooyoung’s raised eyebrow, she passes her the rest of the package.

“Thanks,” Sooyoung says cheerily. “You two have fun with whatever you’re doing. Just remember that the walls aren’t the thickest.”

“We’re just having brunch,” Taeyeon says, but Sooyoung doesn’t stick around to reply.

“Well,” Jessica says, leaning back against the fridge. “That could have gone worse.”

“Are you worried about what Yuri will say when she comes back?”

“Yes,” Jessica says seriously. Taeyeon gives her a startled look, not having expected that reply. “I am worried. But not about us.”

Taeyeon knows what she means, that she isn’t worried about what Yuri will say about them, but. She likes the sound of that. I am worried, but not about us.

“Maybe they’re just out as friends.”

“Maybe,” Jessica says, “but Tiffany needs to decide whether she wants to just be friends with Yuri or not.”

“Is it that simple though?”

“I’m not saying it’s an easy choice to make. I’m just saying that it is Tiffany’s choice, and she has to make it. She can’t just keep stringing Yul along. It’s not fair to her.”

“I don’t think she’s stringing Yul along.”

“Not on purpose,” Jessica concedes. “I know she wouldn’t do it on purpose.”

“But?”

“But it doesn’t mean she isn’t doing it.”

Taeyeon runs a hand through her hair. “Fany isn’t – she wouldn’t—”

“Look, we both know that Fany is the sweetest person on earth. I know that she would never want to hurt Yul, but…” Jessica trails off with a shrug. “Sometimes we end up hurting the people we love despite our best intentions.”

Taeyeon means to say something, but she just ends up staring at Jessica instead, and by the way Jessica looks back, she wonders if Jessica saw the words she wanted to say in her eyes.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” Taeyeon finds herself saying again.

Jessica makes a thoughtful sound. “That phrase comes up a lot, doesn’t it?”

“It does seem to,” Taeyeon agrees. “I wonder what the road to heaven is paved with then.”

“Bad intentions, obviously,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon laughs. “I’m going to make sandwiches. Are you ok with that?”

“Grilled cheese?” Taeyeon asks hopefully.

“Well, I was thinking tuna, but – sure.” Jessica takes bread, cheese slices and butter out the fridge and sets them on the counter.

“Do you want help?”

Jessica turns back and smiles. “It’s okay. I want to cook for you for once.”

Taeyeon has that alight feeling again. “I’ll make you japchae this weekend if you want.”

“That’d be great,” Jessica says brightly, and then adds, softer, “Be careful with the onions.”

“I will,” Taeyeon says, equally as soft.

Jessica starts making the grilled cheese, and Taeyeon takes a seat at the kitchen table. On a whim, she takes her phone out and opens up a Note and starts typing. She would prefer to use pencil and paper, but she doesn’t want to go get them and risk losing the moment.

“Are you taking notes on my amazing cooking skills?”

Taeyeon glances up from her phone to see Jessica looking at her. She breaks into a smile. “Yes, I’m making that recipe book for you. I’ve decided to make an electronic one instead.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were so technologically advanced, JumTaeng.”

“I guess you didn’t get to that unit of Taeyeon Studies yet.”

Jessica’s laughter rings in the kitchen. “I hope it’s coming up soon.”

“I hope you’re a patient student.”

“I’m an excellent student,” Jessica says, with a glint in her eyes that makes Taeyeon think about pulling her onto the counter and—

“Oh no, my grilled cheese is burning!” Jessica hurriedly flips the sandwich that’s in the pan, but the toast is already black on that side. She looks so crestfallen that Taeyeon gets up and walks to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry,” Taeyeon says soothingly. “I won’t mention this in the cookbook.”

Jessica laughs and Taeyeon’s hand moves from her shoulder to her waist, pulling her closer until she’s pressed right against Taeyeon.

“How kind of you,” Jessica murmurs.

Taeyeon’s all for snarky comebacks, but she puts to a better use as she closes the last bit of distance between them and kisses Jessica.

The scent of burning toast fills the kitchen, but neither of them cares.