Chapter Five 

 

A/N : My apologies for the delay in updating  my story >< Have been really busy with my new part time job, now that I’m free and waiting for my results to enter college (: My results will be out in the 2^nd week of January /bites nails/

Word Count : 2564

 

 

The rain drops fell painfully onto the rooftop, flowing down relentless against the window pane. Tegan traced the raindrops down the glass of the window till it became too out of her reach. The girl had just re-read the letter written by her mother, but it didn’t do her any good.

The girl has always been appearing as an intelligent, smart and a matured child. Maybe she’s too matured in a way that she has been doing a lot of thinking recently about why had her mother abandoned her so effortlessly without even hesitation.

‘Tiga?’ Tiffany walked towards the younger girl.

‘Hello big T,’ Tegan forced out a fake laughter.

‘Hmm,’ Tiffany sat with her legs folded next to Tegan, ‘is the small T feeling moody?’

‘Yeah,’ Tegan then pointed towards the letter she’d been reading for three times in the past fifteen minutes.

‘Am I allowed to read it?’ Tiffany asked gently.

‘Sure,’ the letter was placed onto Tiffany’s palm.

Letter Two

Dear Tegan,

This letter is for you, my love. I’m sorry I had to do this and I’m sorry I have to do this. Mummy isn’t left with a choice and I hope you’d understand. I’m leaving you under Jessica’s care so please treat her well and be nice to her. I’ll be back soon, okay? Be good and Mummy loves you a lot.

Love,

Katherine

 

Tiffany could felt the anger coursing through her veins, she almost crushed the letter but she managed to compose herself. How could a mother leave her child alone when she’s four and expect the child to understand or even sympathize with her mother? Why bother having a baby in the first place when all you’re going to do is to place her under somebody’s care? Why make the child feel as if she’s unwanted when all the mother should do is to make the child feel secured and grow up happily?

‘Small T,’ Tiffany wrapped Tegan with her arms and allowed the girl to cry out.

‘She didn’t want me, she never wanted me,’ Tegan sobbed gently.

‘‘Katherine has her own reasons, please do try to understand…’’

Even though I have thought of none

‘‘No mother wants to abandon her child, trust me.’’

Trust the fool who can’t even understand Katherine’s intention

‘But how could she just throw me alone her and expect me to understand?’ Tegan pushed herself out of Tiffany’s embrace, spat out bitterly, anger almost evident in her tone.

‘There is no point trying to change what is done,’ Tiffany said quietly yet sternly. It was true though, who could have ever changed the past? If they could, they wouldn’t be suffering from their painful past.

Tegan looked down, unsure of how to respond because she knew whatever Tiffany said, was hurtful, yet it was the truth. It was not as if she could find Katherine and question the later with all her doubts.

‘Do you want to continue telling me how you feel or do you need some space alone?’ Tiffany gently patted Tegan’s head.

‘I’ll stay here with you, I guess,’ Tegan wiped her tears with the back of her hands and lied on Tiffany’s lap.

‘’I guess you should be happy, you know.’’

“Why so?”

“Because you have Jessica who loves you more than anyone else does. You  know she could have just plainly take care of you and not treat you as if you are like her child. But she did it anyway. She did it with more love than I’ve seen a mother did to her child.”

“And I see you love her more than my mummy does.”

--

‘Tegan!’ Jessica called out as she kicked her trainers to the corner of the house. The blonde often did that whenever she is excited about coming home having dinner with Tegan and Tiffany.

‘Yes, mummy!’ Tegan laughed as she raced towards Jessica who is opening her arms wide and welcoming the girl with a hug.

The girl clamped her legs around Jessica’s waist and her arms around Jessica’s neck like a koala bear hugging a tree.

‘You’re gonna make me choke!’ Jessica laughed.

‘Now take a look at Mummy T, she is jealous,’ Tegan whispered into Jessica’s ear.

Mummy T? Did Tegan just called Tiffany as her Mummy T? And why would Tiffany be jealous?

‘Hey Tiffany,’ Jessica walked towards the brunette with Tegan still hugging onto her.

‘Get down, T,’ Jessica tried to persuade the girl.

‘Until Tiffany’s jealous,’ Tegan chuckled.

Tiffany laughed before she commented, ‘Tiga, get down. Your Mummy J’s choking.’

‘Right,’ Tegan jumped off leaving Jessica feeling incredulous about the girl.

--

Tegan was swinging her legs from the back to the front in the air as she sat on the dinning chair, waiting impatiently for her food. Jessica laughed as she saw the girl pouting and was looking totally bored for the food she was waiting for.

‘Aww, little grumpy girl,’ Jessica patted the latter’s head.

‘Mummy J, I want my food,’ the latter pouted.

‘Just wait for a while, my dear. Tiffany’s preparing the food,’ the blonde assured.

‘I read the letter again,’ Tegan replied nonchalantly.

Jessica froze for a moment before she thought about how to reply. What should she say? Ask whether the latter if she was fine? Because it would not be a good question since she’d seen how heartbroken the latter had been every time she’d read the letter. But she needed to express her concern for the younger girl, she wanted to.

And whatever Jessica had retrieved from her letterbox just now was what she’d least expected to see.

‘You’re still missing your mummy K, baby?’ Jessica gave Tegan such an endearing smile because she wouldn’t know how to react if she’d pulled off a different facial expression.

‘I don’t know,’ Tegan mumbled, ‘sometimes I just feel as if she didn’t want me from the start and whenever I read her letter that belongs to the Letter Two envelope, I felt as if I was right. I am right.’

Another unexpected answer.

‘She has her reason for leaving you to me. She’ll be back for you, don’t you remember?’ the blonde sighed.

‘How long will she take then? It’s been three years, Mummy J,’ Tegan looked down with tears building at the back of her face.

Jessica gently lifted her girl’s face and cupped it in between her palms. It has been three years yet Jessica still didn’t know how to react to such situation when Tegan expressed how she truly felt about her biological mother abandoning her alone. Yet Jessica was happy that Tegan had tried to express it out for Tegan has been too matured for a seven year-old.

‘See, I know it’s difficult for you to understand. But just know that Mummy J is here for you okay?’ Jessica planted a light kiss on the girl’s forehead.

‘And so am I. We’ll always be here for you,’ Tiffany smiled as she placed the plates of food on the dining table.

Jessica turned to smile at Tiffany as if telling her ‘Thank you for everything.’

‘I’ll always be here for you,’ Tiffany replied without speaking.

**

Nights like these were what Tiffany truly loved and enjoyed. Jessica would always sing the younger girl to sleep before she joined the brunette on the couch to watch some midnight movies before they wave awkward goodbyes and go to each other’s bed.

Tiffany had been flickering through the channels for the past five minutes ever since Jessica had sat next to her.

‘What’s the matter? You don’t feel like catching midnight movies today?’ Jessica inquired.

‘I guess so,’ Tiffany continued to punch the buttons on the controller.

‘Are you okay?’ Jessica pressed her palm onto the latter’s forehead.

Holding the blonde’s hand, Tiffany smiled, ‘I’m fine. I don’t have a fever.’

‘Let’s not watch movies today. Let’s do some heart to heart talk today, shall we?’ Tiffany suggested.

‘Sure,’ Jessica compiled, ‘what would my highness like to chat about for today?’

‘Letters. Letters from Katherine to Tegan, letters from Katherine to you,’ Tiffany said.

‘Right, give me a moment,’ Jessica stood up and went to her room quietly. For a moment, Tiffany thought she’d pissed Jessica off before the blonde came back with a purple box with its lid covered on top of it.

‘This,’ Jessica straightened both her arms to pass Tiffany the box, ‘all of them are letters written by Katherine.’

The duo had decided to sit on the marble-polished tiles with Tiffany looking intently at Jessica as the blonde placed the letters neatly on the floor. On the floor were nine letters named Letter One to Letter Ten, except Letter Two was missing, which Tiffany believed it was what Tegan was reading earlier in the afternoon.

Jessica then placed a letter named ‘To Jessica’, which she’d retrieved from the letter box this evening, next to Letter Ten to sum up everything.

‘Have you finished reading all of them yet?’ Tiffany peeked curiously.

‘Until Letter Nine,’ Jessica replied.

Flashback

Jessica ruffled her hair as Tegan sat silently on the dining chair, refusing to talk to the blonde.

‘Tegan?’ Jessica asked.

The younger girl was five then, yet she had already acquired the skill of giving cold shoulder to people whom she was angry with.

‘I didn’t mean to be late picking you up. I was stuck in school for a project meeting and by the time I realized it, I was already late. The bus wasn’t good in keeping it’s promise to be punctual,’ Jessica explained, in hopes that the younger girl will understand.

Still, she kept quiet though this time Jessica could see that the latter was chewing her lips as if struggling not to reply to her.

Feeling exasperated, Jessica went into her room as she fished out for the letter that Katherine had instructed Jessica to pass to the younger girl if she’d been throwing her tantrum around.

‘Yours to keep,’ Jessica passed the letter to the younger girl. Tegan carefully reached for the letter and her eyes immediately lighted up when she’d recognized the handwriting that belongs to her mother.

‘Okay,’ Tegan nodded after she’d finished reading the letter while Jessica was washing the dishes.

The younger girl tugged Jessica at the bottom of her top and the blonde widened her eyes to see the younger girl there. Tegan had her arms spread opened when Jessica had given the latter her attention.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jessica scooped the younger girl up and whispered gently into her ears, ‘I shouldn’t have been late to pick you up. I shouldn’t have made you feel as if you were abandoned again. I’m really sorry.’

‘It’s okay, you didn’t mean it on purpose,’ Tegan kissed Jessica’s cheek before she continued, ‘You’re forgiven, Mummy J.’

Did Jessica hear it wrongly or did Tegan say the wrong thing? Did Tegan just called her Mummy J?

‘M… Mummy J?’ Jessica stuttered.

‘Yes, Mummy J,’ Tegan beamed back at her.

Letter One

Dear Jessica,

Sorry I’ve left my daughter under you care without even asking you for your permission. But I suppose you’ll reject my offer even without having me to ask you a question. I’m sorry to have to disturb your life again… Please take care of Tegan. The girl is really hard to handle when she decides throws her tantrum around. She loves to have walnut cakes, she draws a lot so please buy her some drawing booklets should she finish doodling on the remaining one. Her favourite colour is blue. Please pass her the second letter if she decided to throw her tantrum around on you.

One last request of mine is to open up the letters according to the month that has been written on the envelopes. Sorry to bother you, I promise to be back as soon as possible.

Love,

Katherine

--

It has been 15 months since Jessica have been living with and taking care of Tegan. This job seems to get easier day by day as Jessica had promised to spend at least three hours every day with Tegan alone to get to know the girl better. And surprisingly, Tegan seems to be able to understand Jessica’s good intention of wanting to bond better with the girl.

One of the things that Jessica had intended to do for their quality spending time is to read Tegan bedtime stories before the girl goes into dreamland.

‘And the bear lived happily ever after with his honey in his arms, and his friends around him,’ Jessica closed the book and smiled at Tegan. The latter didn’t seem to be sleepy after Jessica has finished reading the bedtime story which lasted for ten minutes.

‘I miss my mummy,’ Tegan blurted out with her eyes teary.

Jessica was stunned by the question for a moment but she remained composed. It has been 15 months since the girl mentioned that she’d missed Katherine. How was she supposed to react? Jessica didn’t know. But she knew that she’d to say something if not the latter would think that Jessica didn’t care about her.

‘Your Mummy misses you too,’ Jessica assured the girl.

 ‘Really?’ The girl asked back as she sniffed.

‘Surely, positive.’ Jessica reassured.

‘It’s gonna be April soon though,’ the girl mumbled before she went to her dreamland.

Yeah, it is gonna be April soon. That means I should be opening the fourth letter yet I haven’t even read the third one yet.

Jessica went to her purple box and managed to find the third and fourth letter.

Letter Three ( January 2012)

Dear Jessica,

How have you been? It has been around a year and three months since you and Tegan have met. Have she been good to you? I hope she calls you her Mummy right now. She’s going to be six this December, though it’s eleven months away from now. But it’s coming really soon. Please buy her a cake and a present if there’s something that she wants. And do take good care of yourself.

Love,

Katherine

 

Why would she not get Tegan anything that the younger girl wants? Jessica is starting to treat the girl as her own child now.

 

 

Letter Four ( April 2012 )

Dear Jessica,

Eight more months till Tegan’s birthday, are you excited yet? Because I can feel myself anticipating for it right now as I’m writing this letter to you. How funny. Who am I to even anticipate for her birthday when I’ve left her alone and under your care during her growing up years? But still, she is my girl, so I guess it gives me the right to feel excited.

I hope you do well enough for your universities examinations.

Love,

Kat

 

Jessica almost snorted when she saw how Katherine signed off the letter. How dare her, to abandon Tegan yet acting all friendly in her letters. How dare her, to even not call them up to check on them but instead give a stack of letters to Jessica. As if Jessica was the middleman in between them. As if Jessica was supposed to take care of Katherine’s left over. As if Jessica was just a play thing.

 

End of Flashback

 

‘End of story for now,’ Jessica laughed.

Yet Tiffany nodded her head and took Jessica’s hand, ‘I promise to make Tegan and you feel loved by me. I promise.’

‘I know you’ll and you’re trying to do it,’ Jessica kissed her softly on the lips.