Blind Date
Walk Next To Me
Love is ………………. following what my heart says.
Dear Appa,
Remember you told me about silver linings? I think I understad it now. I was bumped when I sprained my ancle last week. It was swollen and it hurt each time I walked. I cursed myself for being clumsy and wondered wat was wrong wit me? It was only today that I realize that God threw me in that situation to allow me to see the people who care aboot me. I was new and did not have anyone but through this incident, I found some true friends and colleages whom I know wil be there fore me when I face dificulties.
Remember you taught me to be thnkful for everything? I really hated myself when I learned that I was different. I hated being bullied, I hated being the last in clas, I hated it when my clasmates called me stoopid. Why did God made me wrong? I pitied myself so much, I used to cry and cry every night. I could see no future, skool was a strugle, everything was a struggle.
But you changed that.
You said God made me different becaus I was special right? I was meant for a different life. God created a special route for me. Just for me. I believd you. I believe you when you told me that I was destined for greateer things. You are right, I finally see it now. If not for my dyslexia, I will never undrstand the struggles my studenst go through. I am thankful God made me different. Thank you for makng me see that.
However, do you think God made different in more ways than one? I am confused but I started to hav feelings for someone and he is a guy. Weird right? I have always pictured myself with a girl in the fture but I do not know how to stop this feelings. I feel all buttery around him and I get so nervous, I always end up arguing with him to hide it all. Appa, is this love?
At first I tried to ignore this feeling but I failed miserably. I keep wanting to see him even though he was mean to me. Why do I feel this way? I feel attracted to him end he is not even that handsome. He can be right next to me and I can feel like I miss him. What is this annoying feeling? Don’t tell me this is love?
Am I wrong? Have I sinned? I knew I was different, but I dnt not know I was THIS different. Appa, please help me clear my mind. I do not know wat to do. All I know is, I feel happy in his company. I enjoy our times together even thought we really fight a lot.
Appa, do I follow my heart?
Donghae heaved a huge sigh. He cannot remember the last time he wrote so much in his diary. In the past, he really hated writing because he could not remember how to spell a lot of words. However his late dad often encouraged him to write, so that he can practice writing and express himself at the same time. Since then, Donghae had made it a habit to write in his diary every night before he goes to bed. Now that his dad is gone, he seeks solace in writing, as if communicating with him from heaven via his diary.
It was Friday night and since Donghae had no plans, he was at home. Tao went back home yesterday with his dad. His dad seemed to have changed and lot and Tao was glad to go home. Before parting ways, he did remind Tao that he is welcome to come back and stay at his apartment anytime. It was relief to the probation officer, Kangin. Kangin will be visiting the school on a weekly basis now, just to check on how Tao is doing.
The apartment seemed really quiet without Tao around now. He was usually hanging out in the living room, either doing his homework while watching television at the same time. Occasionally, he would cook something for the both of them. Even though he was a student, Donghae really felt good having another person around the apartment. At least, he could have a decent conversation with someone.
Since the dance competition for Hyukjae and the dancers were happening next week, Hyukjae has been busy. Today he was in school but Donghae did not get to see him at all. He must have been practicing in the dance studio the whole day, he was a pretty strict teacher with the boys and Donghae did not want to disrupt their rehearsals.
A part of him wished he had stopped by the dance studio today. What is this aching feeling in his heart? Does he really miss Hyukjae that much?
His deep thoughts were disrupted by the phone ringing. Donghae picked up his cell phone. It was Siwon.
Donghae: Hello?
Siwon: Donghae ah! I am glad you are awake!
Donghae: Its only 11 pm. What’s up?
Siwon: Hmm…are you free tomorrow night?
Donghae: Another movie?
Siwon: Erm, no. You see, my dad, he arranged for me to meet this girl tomorrow.
Donghae: Ok, that’s great right? Haven’t you been wanting to meet girls? (chuckling)
Siwon: Aish! Listen! I did not really want drag you into this but he was worried I would be nervous so he told the girl to bring her sister along.
Donghae: Oh! Isnt that better? You can have two girls! (still chuckling)
Siwon: Donghae! No you idiot! He arranged a double date! I am supposed to bring a friend too!
Donghae: Oh ok, who do you have in mind?
Siwon: Oh my God, how blur are you! You of course!! You are the first person that popped into my head!
Donghae: What? I can’t!
Siwon: Why not? You are single right? And you are a nice guy and quite good looking. Any girl will be lucky to have you.
Donghae: Err…Siwon ah..Its not that…I have no interest…
Siwon interrupted before Donghae could finish his sentence.
Siwon: Ok, its settled then. You have no excuse. I will pick you up at 6 pm tomorrow. Dress smart casual and just be yourself.
Donghae: But…
Siwon: Thanks Donghae, it really means a lot of to me. I see you tomorrow.
Click. The line went dead.
Donghae starred at his phone. What just happened? Did he agree to go on a blind date? How stupid could he be? In love with another guy and now going out on a blind date with girl? He is must be completely out of his mind. Pabo Siwon! Why does he have to drag him into this?
Beep. ‘A text message now?’ Donghae thought.
Pabo Hyukjae:
Hey Fishy, how was your day?
‘Hyukjae? He is messaging me now?’ Donghae wondered. Donghae typed in his reponse immediately.
Me:
The usual. You busy today? You didn’t even stop by my class to annoy me.
Pabo Hyukjae:
Hahaha! Did you miss me?
Me:
You wish!
Pabo Hyukjae:
You are welcome to stop by the studio anytime to annoy me. I will welcome you with open arms. Haha..
Me:
Yeah right, I wouldn’t want you to smack my head again and again.
Pabo Hyukjae:
Oh ok, shall I keep kissing you then? <3
Me:
If you can catch me hahaha (evil laugh).
Pabo Hyukjae:
I will do that! Beware! I will be in school everyday next week. Our competition is on Friday night in town. Do you want to come and support us?
Me:
Sure. I wil be there to support the kids. Just tell me the time.
Pabo Hyukjae:
I will pass you a ticket next week. What about me? I need your support too.
Me:
Ok fine. I will support all of you! Its late, better get some sleep!
Pabo Hyukjae:
You too Fish, sweet dreams and dream of me tonight! Muacks.
Me:
Gd nite….rest well pabo.
Donghae could not help but felt amazed by their ability to argue even via text message. A simple message and it made him feel so happy. Suddenly, he did not feel as lonely anymore. He could not wipe off the smile of his face and he was still starring at his phone, just to make sure the conversation via text messaging had ended.
But wait, what is he going to do about the blind date tomorrow?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hyukjae placed his phone on the side table next to his bed. He had been listening to songs in his ipod on his bed. He had no idea why he decided to text Fishy first. It was not an everyday thing but he just felt like texting Donghae first. Furthermore, he did not see Fish at all in school today due to his packed schedule. He hated to admit it but he did miss Donghae a little.
“Yah! Why are you smiling like an idiot to yourself?” Heechul’s loud voice filled Hyukjae room.
Heechul walked into Hyukjae’s room and sat on his bed. “Hmm…let me guess? Baby Fish?”
“Don’t call him baby! Only I can call him that.” Hyukjae answered, slightly annoyed with Heechul being such so nosy.
“Ok fine. Can the two of you please just get on with it? Both of you are irritating me the crap out of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, respond to him, you idiot! He already said he likes you so you must respond before he is taken.” Heechul explained.
“Taken? By who? Is there anyone interested in him now?!” Hyukjae asked, sounding a little panic.
Heechul burst our laughing. “You are so obvious you know that? Be careful around parents please, we do not want to hit the headlines for the wrong reasons.”
“Headlines?”
Heechul smacked the back of Hyukjae’s head, “You idiot! We are still in a conservative society and you know being in this profession….people are often more judgemental towards us just because we are teachers.”
Hyukjae nodded. “Hyung….do you think it would be wrong to be together with another guy. This is the first time for me too and frankly, I am quite scared.”
Heechul moved closer to Hyukjae and sat next to him. “Hyukjae ah, you do what your heart says. Don’t worry about anything else. This Fish guy is quite a catch…..he is very handsome and kind.”
“Thanks hyung, you are really the best.” Hyukjae responded with his gummy smile.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Beep. Beep.
The sound of the phone indicating that there was a text message. Donghae slowly opened his eyes. He was still rolling in bed. It was a Saturday after all and he had nothing on except for that blind date thingy with Siwon that he is dreading.
Donghae searched for his mobile phone underneath the sheets on his bed. He must have fallen asleep while playing games on the phone.
‘A text message so early in the morning?’ Donghae wondered.
Hyukjae pabo:
Good morning Fish. Are you at home? I am coming over now.
Donghae rubbed his sleepy eyes and read the message again. ‘Hyukjae is coming over here?’ He glanced at the clock on the wall, it was almost 11 am. He must have been exhausted to sleep through the entire morning.
Wait.
He read Hyukjae’s message again. ‘I am coming over now.’
Damn. This message was sent an hour ago.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Comments