Confession
Walk Next To Me
Love is ………………………………………when I finally admit how I feel about you.
Donghae dragged himself out of the bathroom. The cold shower that he was hoping would perk him did not do much. He was still groggy from spending the night tossing and turning in bed. He was not able to fall back to sleep after the nightmare, his mind was full of questions and doubts that kept him awake. His eyes felt sleepy yet he was unable to fall asleep. Each time he closes his eyes, the image of Ji Eun hurting Hyukjae from the nightmare appeared before him. He has never been so disturbed by a nightmare this much.
It was time to get ready for work. He did not even bother to gel up his hair; he simply combed it neatly, grabbed his bag and leaves the apartment. As he was locking up and closing the door behind him, he was approached by a familiar voice.
“Good morning neighbor!”
Donghae turned and saw the brightly smiling Sungmin. He was about to leave his apartment too. He smiled, “Good morning.”
“Woah. You look……………. horrible. What happened?” Sungmin approached him. He was evidently concerned.
“Nothing hyung, I just had a nightmare and could not go back to sleep.” Donghae answered weakly.
“Nightmare at this age? Hmm…you sure you are all right? You look like hell. Are you sure you can teach, especially with your ankle still not fully recovered?” he continued asking.
“I will be fine, hyung. Thanks.”
“Poor kiddo, come back home straight after work and sleep early. You look like a cute panda.” Sungmin advised while patting Donghae’s head.
Donghae pouted and nodded. He thinks he looks like a panda too.
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The walk to school seemed longer than usual. Perhaps it was because he felt his feet heavier as though they were chained to metal balls. He was also having a slight headache from the lack of sleep. After seeing Hyukjae’s message last night, he was at a loss on what to do. He was thinking of what to reply him but he was worried that Hyukjae may misunderstand his message so he did not reply his text at all. While staying awake, he visualizes all the different scenarios that could happen in the morning, the worst case scenario was him being beaten up by Hyukjae. Somehow he could not visualize the best case scenario. He began to believe that he was doomed.
Lost in his thoughts while limping to school, he figured out that the best thing to do now is to stay calm and clear his mind. He needed to stop worrying about how Hyukjae will react. As he neared the school, chatty voices were heard all around him. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood from the weekend. He almost felt guilty for being in such a lousy mood but he truly could not help feeling like crap.
“Donghae ah!” It was Mr Park calling him as soon as he stepped into the school. “Can I speak to you for a while?” He was frowning and he looked worried. He was usually a chirpy person in the morning.
“Sure.” Donghae answered while following Mr Park into his office.
“Sit down please. How is your ankle?” Mr Park started the conversation.
“Its healing. Will be ok in a few days. Thanks for asking.”
“That’s good to hear. We have small problem.” Mr Park continued.
Donghae sat up straight. Did someone saw him arguing with Hyukjae at the movie theatre? It would not have been nice if a student saw them. After all, being teachers, they were expected to be good role models for the students. Making a scene in public certainly did not deem as a role model.
“Its one of your students.”
“What happened?” Donghae asked. He was slightly relieved that it was not because of him.
“He was caught stealing again, this is his second time getting caught. He is now on probation.” Mr Park said, his disappointment was plastered onto his face.
“Oh dear, who?”
“Tao. I thought he had changed for the better but it turned out that he was still hanging around with the kids from streets. They are really a bad influence on him. Here…” Mr Park handed Donghae a file. “You can read the police report and all the other previous reports here.”
Donghae was shocked. He knew Tao was not exactly an angel but he never imagined that Tao would have a history of theft, smoking and getting involved in gang fights. He was only 12 years old and Donghae finds it hard to believe that Tao was capable of doing all these things.
“Ok. I will talk to him.”
“His probation officer will probably visit you later today. He is supposed to come to school and go straight home after school.”
“I will take note of it. Thanks.” Donghae replied.
As Donghae made his way out of the office, he could not help but feel slightly disappointed. He thought that he had connected with his students and inspired them to focus on their studies. This incident just proved him wrong. He was disappointed with himself more than Tao, for not being able to see this coming. He could not help it. He has such good thoughts about everyone; it is hard to anticipate such unfortunate incidents.
He quickly entered his classroom and switched on his computer. All the happenings from the weekend were clouding his memory and he suddenly forgot what he was going to do for the day. He scrambled to clear his table and look for his lesson plan in the computer.
‘Aish! What is wrong with me today? I am so distracted.’
“Did you miss me?” A voice echoed across the empty classroom. Startled, Donghae slightly jumped out from his seat.
It was Hyukjae. There, standing at the door of his classroom.
Donghae felt his heart thumping faster than usual. He was starting to feel hot and he could feel his perspiration trickling down his neck.
“What’s wrong? You seem shocked to see me? I sent you a text last night.” Hyukjae said sarcastically. He started to take a few steps towards Donghae.
Donghae felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to say something but his words got choked on his own saliva thus he remained silent while nervously watching Hyukjae walking closer and closer to him.
“Are you going to hit me?” Donghae finally asked nervously.
“No. I just needed to know why you did what you did last night.” Hyukjae answered coldly.
Donghae bit his lip. This is it. What was he going to say? Hyukjae was staring at him. His puffy eyes were not filled with anger, they were filled with hurt.
‘I have to tell him the truth. I have to tell myself the truth too’. Donghae thought.
“You really wanna know why I did that?!” Donghae suddenly burst out.
“Yes!” Hyukjae was yelling.
“Because I like you!!”
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