"Is she back?" 

"It's easy for those from bigger agencies to just come and go as they wish isn't it" 

You were backstage with other idols and some of them, girl groups, seemed to dislike the fact that you skipped the most of the promotions and only attended at the beginning and the end. 

You were standing outside I.Rise's dressing room alone and a few metres in front of you stood a few girls from a girl group you didn't know of and whispered about you. Or "whispered", they talked out loud making sure you heard them. 

"They're just gaining public recognition because they're from Limee, in reality they're just nothing, no talent." 

They could say whatever they wanted about you but your members, that was another story. They had worked hard even without a member not being with them for half of their promotions, no one have the right to bash them. 

So that's why you couldn't let them talk ill about your hard working members. 

Before you could say anything the door next to you opened and out stepped Emery. She looked irritated and glared at the two girls. 

"Listen up." She said as she looked at the two girls. 

They winced back a little and turned to Emery with somewhat nervous expressions on their faces. Emery had that what you would call a strong aura. 

"I'm not too found of Sora but I know that she's waayy past you in terms of talent." 

The two girls were gaping. 

"How dare y-" 

"Can you even compare? You who can't even sing a tune right." 

That shut the girls up. 

You turned to Emery, thankful. She was actually very caring, even though you two didn't get along well for now. 

"What?" She asked. 

You chuckled. "Nothing, thank you." 

She snorted. "Yah get in," She opened the door. "Their bull is making my mood go down." 

They were right. I.Rise became big after debut just because we're from Limee, our seniors promoted us and so did the company. They provided us with everything a new group would need before debut. 

But she was wrong that you weren't talented. 

You all was in this group for one reason, you beat everyone else. 

You five showed that you wanted to be here, wanted this more than anything and you would work for it. Entering Limee through a scholarship only made you work harder, harder to show everyone that you belonged here, wanted this just as much as everyone else. 

Of course you also still wanted to stay at home because of your grandma, but you knew that this isn't what she wanted and for her you had to be strong, only the strongest can stay in this industry, that you knew now more than anyone else. 

As promotions had ended you had more free time but the person you wanted to spend the time with was still promoting. Infinite were still promoting in many variety shows which I.Rise couldn't because... yeah why? You hadn't fully understood why, the fans wanted you on shows and why wouldn't Limee let you show your variety skills you all had practiced hard for? 

The fews times you could meet L, no matter how you didn't want to believe it. He was still not the L before he left for the States. Your L. 

But you would wait for him, help him and maybe you will see his genuine smile again. The smile that will brighten your whole world. 

The first day of your temporary break (because soon you would probably promote again with a full album) you decided to just take a stroll alone through the streets of Seoul. You didn't tell the others where you went and hopefully they won't have a heart attack because of that. 

It was a gloomy day as the clouds were taking over the sky. The weather was actually quite fitting with your current mood. A little sad, still because of your grandma. One who haven't lost ones whole family wouldn't be able to understand you, understand the pain and the feelings of not in a long time being able to actually get rid of those feelings. 

The streets were still full of people despite it still being working hours for many. 

You weren't scared that people would recognize you because they didn't, everyone was in a rush and even if they did recognize you they wouldn't have time to care. Kids were in school so those people didn't you have to worry about. 

You passed by a lot of storefronts, some with more interesting things than others. 

It was very calming to just walk around like this. 

Soon the streets got crowded with teenagers. They were chatting loudly and just enjoying each others company. 

You were standing outside a bakery looking at the storefront trying to decided what you would eat as two girls caught your attention. 

"Omo did you hear that about I.Rise's Sora?" She exclaimed to her friend. They sat at the outdoor dining of the same bakery you were deciding to buy at. 

"You mean the fact that she lost her grandma?" 

It hurt. 

And you had to deal with the pain because many more people would continue to mention it and not everyone will be nice about it. 

"Yes, she was gone for a long time skipping a lot of I.Rise's promotions. You remember I used to be a trainee for that small company?" 

"Yeah you mean that time you were totally depressed and stressed out?" 

"The training and the competition to get into the new girl group was killing me. Once you're in you had to work even harder and to think that Sora got to take a break for such a long time, what a joke." 

You felt like it would be the smartest to leave right now and not listen to them anymore but your feet wouldn't do as you wished. 

The girl who had been a trainee continued. 

"She's taking everything for granted. Their company is spoiling her, if it was a smaller company like mine they would probably have forced her to continue to work. Maybe she deserved to loose her grandma like that, deserves to feel the pain of realizing the harsh reality that little princess." She snorted. 

You walked away. 

Without even choosing anything. 

You just wanted to get away from them. To think that people could be so mean. 

You walked away and bit back your tears. Trying to hold back everything and distracted yourself trying to find a new place to eat. 

You bumped into a business man who was in a hurry and he cursed at you before he hurriedly ran because the rain started to fall. The rain poured down heavily and you just lost it. 

The tears started to fall together with the rain. This isn't what you wanted to do today. This was the thing you wanted to avoid the most. Not being weak but showing that you had become stronger, stronger to be able to follow your dream. 

But here you stood, in the middle of the street, covering your face with your hands in a feeble attempt to convince yourself that you were stronger than this. 

The rain fell hard on you, drenching your clothes in an instant. 

It just didn't work. Everything fell apart once again like that time. And you hated yourself for being this weak. Being unable to function properly.

"Why... why do I have to be this weak?" You asked yourself. 

If just a single comment like that was able to break you down, imagine all the comments people have left on the internet. Would you be able to take it? Had you always been this weak?

The rain stopped. 

At least where you stood. 

"Sora.." 

You turned around. Your eyes red as tears escaped. 

"This voice.." 

L was looking at you, his eyes clearly worried and his hair was getting drenched by the rain. 

He was holding his umbrella above your head while he himself slowly got drenched by the rain. 

"What is it?"

Been a long time since I last updated this story. School has taken up a lot of time but in two weeks my summerbreak is finally starting!! :D Then I'll try to update as much as possible ^^