"Why.... why her.." 

It hurt so bad in your chest. That thumping feeling in your chest that threatened to suffocate you. 

The arms around you tightened it's embrace around you. 

"I don't know..." Eunjae answered. She leaned her head closer to yours. 

Eunjae felt on top of your clothes that you were freezing cold. "I'm sorry Sora.." She felt the tears burn behind her eyes. "I'm sorry that we arrived so late... i'm sorry for your grandma..." She couln't stop the first tear that rolled down her cheek. The guilt hit her hard. She felt so sorry when they couldn't leave to comfort you.

I.Rise had to finish their schedules before they could rush to you. No matter how much they wanted to  comfort you, work was always above everything. In this entertainment, your job was everything. 

"Sora..." 

"..sorry we're late.."

Even though you had a hard time seeing who it was because of your tears, you recognized those warm voices. 

".....Hana.... Heeyoung.." You managed to whisper. 

The sound of your cracked voice made Hana and Heeyoung tear up as they sat down on the cold, cold grass and hugged you tightly. 

"It'll be fine Sora..." Eunjae said behind your back, her tears falling. 

"..W-we'll... be here for you.." Hana said as she cried. 

You managed to smile a little. To have such wonderful people by your side at this point in life was a blessing.

"Thank you" 

HALON

Limee entertainment's spokeperson has come out today and said that their group I.Rise will continue their promotions without their member Lee Sora since she just recently lost a family member. 

"We are letting her rest and hope that she take time to recover from this huge loss. Sora is sad for her fans but we ask for their understanding as we continue with I.rise's promotions without her." 

COMMENTS:

Waaah it's really sad, just when she recently got her debut. I heard she lost her grandma, aisssh really unfortunate Q.Q 

I'm glad atleast Limee let her take a break, R.I.P Sora's grandma. 

It's hard I know but you just need to bite it and endure because it will get better, I've been through the exact same thing, don't fall into depression, fighting Sora! ~

You didn't know for how long you just laid in your bed all days. Either crying or just looking soullessly at the ceiling until the rest of I.Rise finished their schedule and came home and comforted you. They were really kind, even Emery was kinder than usual, which meant that she didn't spat her comments as often towards you which felt really weird. So weird to the point that you almost wanted her to say something mean. 

The girls took care of you, made sure you ate because they thought you couldn't take care of yourself. Maybe that was true because all you did was lay in your bed at the dorm. 

Sleeping was not an option since it only gave you nightmares. So you woke up with a scream and shouted out to your grandma to only realized that she's not here. 

Then you laid back down on the bed after searching for her around the dorm, all sweaty and tired. 

This repeated for a few days or whatever because you didn't really keep count of the days or weeks that it could have been. 

In the end, the CEO who probably got to know about the way you were from your members, who of course, where worried about you and the CEO said that you should go to practice, not as a trainee in Limee academy but in the Limee entertainment building. 

At first he suggested it but you didn't want to so in the end he had to force you. 

"I know it's hard Sora but you have to think about other things to make the pain go away just for a while." 

What did he know, he hadn't lost his last family member. Mom, dad and now grandma. 

You were really all alone now.

All... alone. 

"Hello Sora, I'm one of Limee's choregraphers, Jim." A guy in his twenties with glasses and a smile said as he introduced himself to you in one of Limee Entertainment's practice room. "I've heard a lot about you, quite the talented one aren't you?" 

You shrugged. Wanting to go back to your bed. 

His smile fell a little. He knew you were going through a hard time, he tried to cheer you up but it didn't help. "I know it's hard right now but your grandma would have hoped that you stayed strong and became more successful as an idol." 

You closed your eyes. You started to grow tired of this, people feeling sad for you but they didn't understand what you were going through since they hadn't lost their last family member. 

"...my fault..." 

Jim tilted his head to the side. "What did you say?" 

".. my... fault.." You whispered again. 

Then you opened your eyes, "..if I... didn't become an idol.. she wouldn't have suffered from my sleeping habits, she tried to keep up with our schedule, our schedule!" You bit your lower lip. 

"..at her age.. she shouldn't be working so hard... not doing chores at her age... it's.. it's-" Your eyes became shiny of tears. "..Why.. didn't I stop her.. why..." 

Jim felt really sad for you. The way you blamed yourself. 

"It's not your fault Sora.." He said with soft eyes. 

You shook your head. "IT IS." Tears flowing. "I don't want this anymore. I don't want this... If I... If I could trade my idollife with getting my grandma back, I would do it, definitely!!"

The tears streamed down your face as you looked at Jim. "I want my grandma back, I want my last family member back!" 

As Jim didn't know what to say, you shook your head and ran out of the room. 

"Don't want this anymore... I can't.. do this anymore... don't.... want... this.. life..!!" 

You ran and ran, out of the building, out of the walls that surrounded the high building. You didn't want this anymore, not this life, not this life without your grandma. 

"Hello, we're home! ~" Eunjae chirped as she entered the dorm. She was tired because the schedules were long and started early in the morning and ended late until night but tried to be happy to cheer you up. 

"It's 2.12 am..." Emery muttered as she entered. 

"Sora, we've bought some ice cream for you!" Heeyoung said with a smile. 

"Scchh!! Maybe she's sleeping!" Hana whispered.

They all walked to your and Emery's room and Eunjae opened it slowly not to wake you up. Sleeping was something you didn't do much since you couldn't. You slept less than the rest of your working members even though you weren't working. So they would be happy if they actually found you sleeping. 

Junho entered the dorm. He also used to check on you since you hadn't been the same as you used to since your grandma passed away. 

"JUNHO!" 

He looked up. 

Eunjae was running at him, her eyes filled with worry. 

"She's not here!!!!" 

I'm back! :D Had two awesome weeks in California omg wish I could live there, love the weather! Saw a lot of things and yeah it was freaking amazing! But now I'm back home in my own little country and back to school Q.Q Hope u didn't miss me too much ;)

Been a year since last update omg! ;)