You could not move. Your insides were burning up and then a glob was forming in your throat that kept growing and growing. Your breathing halted and your mind was in a trance, not believing for a second what you just saw. You turned away and heard their conversation but it was slurred, your senses not at its best.

"Well, I hope you have a good night. Dream of me OK and I'll see you soon." the girl's voice irritated you but also pierced you a bit. That voice belonged to the girl you now mostly despised.
"Yeah, I'll call you tonight before you go to bed. I need to get back inside, my dormmates are probably waiting for me."
"Awww but I don't want you to leave. Why don't you just stay over at my house tonight?" the girl sounded so desparate and squeaky. Your hands slowly turned into fists every time she said something.
"Hmmm, maybe some other time. You know that I only can stay over when I'm not busy and I can't do it every night or everyone will be suspicious." you heard Kai whisper softly.
"But you don't care about them. Or are you just afraid that your girlfriend will find out? I don't think your girlfiend suspects a thing. She sounds so stupid, like you told me: she doesn't even know where you are most of the time and she doesn't even mind." When you heard this you were getting so angry.

You knew by now who this girl was. She was Kai's girlfiend, secret girlfriend. Kai was cheating on you. Kai was cheating on you. It finally hit you. He was. For a fact, witnessing this yourself, Kai is going out with someone else. Behind your back. How could he? Why? Was it because he no longer loved you? But he hasn't said anything. Even though it was hard, you recalled back to some recent events and realised, you and Kai weren't as close like you used to be. The distance was probably the reason he no longer had any interest in you. Was Kai getting bored of you? And now, when you were around, was he getting sick of you? You couldn't bare to think like this, it hurt too much.

You almost unintentionally let out a yelp, wanting to let your cries out but you stopped yourself by grabbing your mouth with your hands. No longer able to keep it in, your eyes began to water and tears streamed down your face. It was getting so hard to breathe. You took in big gasps of air while leaning your back against the wall, using it as leverage; your knees were getting weak. It soon became tiresome to hold in all your feelings so you let yourself go. You heard after a few murmurs and giggles, the sound of heels clicking. They were soft but they got louder, louder and louder as they came towards your direction.

You didn't want to get caught being here like this so you tried your best to move slightly, facing your back towards the open and hiding your face with your arm. You heard the girl walk past you and slowly go off into the distance. You waited for a moment before you heard the dorm door snap open then shut. Figuring that Kai went back up to the dorm, you could fully relax and peeked out for a look. OK, no one was around. With the sudden reaction to hide, you forgot that you were crying before. Your sniffles became light and your eyes dried up. The fear of getting caught blew away your sadness.

You stood around trying to think about this whole situation. What am I going to do? Should I speak with him? But that would mean that he might break up with me. Should I break up with him? but I don't want to lose him. I don't know. You I just keep this to myself? I don't think I can handle it. maybe I should talk with someone else. Maybe I shouldn't, this is my problem. but I don't want to face Kai. I don't want to speak with him. Not just yet. He hurt you, alot but you had a feeling you didn't want to worsen the situation. Maybe if you just pretended that you didn't see what happened then everything will be alright, right? You didn't want to make such a hassle, thinking that it won't only affect you but everyone else around you, your dorm mates, friends and family and also, if you were to break up with Kai, that would be controversial to the rest of the world. You just realised what a big deal it will be if this gets out of hand. When you are the girlfriend of an idol, you knew that being with him wasn't the best idea when in public but also, breaking up with him would be just as bad. While thinking about all this you didn't noticed how dark it was getting. You didn't even tell the boys where you were. You got a bit worried and all these responsibilities knocked out your pain of what you just saw. You wiped your face and straightened up before heading back upstairs.

When you opened the door, it was eerily quiet. Where was everyone? You slowly went around the dorm to find the kitchen and living room empty. They boys must be in their rooms. You went upstairs to the bedrooms. You saw that Luhan and Sehun's door to their room was slightly ajar. You decided to check up on them and see if they weren't worried about you. You walked in and tapped lightly on the door.
"Hello?" you peeked around the door.
"Oh, _____-sshi, where have you been?" Luhan said when he noticed you.
You looked around and saw that Sehun was lying on his bed, reading a magazine and Luhan sitting at the table, scrolling through his emails on the computer.
"I decided to take a walk outside because there was nothing to do." you answered.
"____-noona" Sehun called. He leaned up a bit and his side. "You know how long you've been out? Almost 3 hours. I was sick to death but Luhan hyung reminded me that you were old enough to take care of yourself and you weren't going to be out long but I got really worried. I was about to go out and find you, you know?" He looked a bit roughed up and you felt a bit guilty.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand but I'm here now and I'm safe so you don't need to worry anymore." You tried to give your best smile to assure him but it kind of failed. You suddenly felt really tired.
"Uhm, since I don't want to disturb you, go back to what you were doing, I'll be heading to bed now."
"Oh, are you OK ____?" Luhan asked. His eyebrows were creased and he pouted a bit, looking concerned. You just shook your head.
"I'm fine" you half-lied. "Just tired."
"Well, aren't you going to have dinner? Kai came back just before you and he said he ordered us pizza. Did you want some?" Sehun asked.
At the mention of his name, your body faulted and you felt your face streak pale. You couldn't think about him right now. You just wanted to sleep.
"No, I'm not hungry. I'll be going now. Good night." You waved sloppily and closed the door behind you.

You made your way across the small hallway and opened your bedroom door. When you looked up from closing the door, you saw Kai already in bed, sitting up slightly and texting on his phone. You eyed him up and down. He looked the same as ever but you knew and so you felt a difference in the air. It was slightly uncomfortable. You didn't really think that you would see him so soon, right after what happened but he was here, right in front of you. He noticed someone else in the room and looked up. He was a bit suprised and quickly covered his phone and smiled to you. So fake. You knew and by looking at his eyes he was happy that you didn't know but, you did. You gave a fake smile back and slowly slid into bed and laid down, facing away from him.

Kai was a bit confused by your sudden change of actions. One second you  were smiling and then your smile faded and you gave him a cold shoulder. It was sudden and Kai did not expect you to be like that. Maybe something happened. "Are you OK?" he asked. It lingered in the silence for a while. You thought about it. Were you really OK? Should you tell him or keep it to yourself? Hmmm. It was hard and you couldn't make a proper decision. Maybe just for now, you'd keep it a secret and just leave it as it is; that way no one else is getting hurt, at least that means that nothing is changing or getting worse. You spoke up, with your back still facing him and with your best voice, convinced him with a "Everything's fine. Goodnight." It was a bit cold but you were tired and you didn't want to talk to him, otherwise you knew you would crack. You closed your eyes tight, expecting him to reply before you went to sleep but there was no more words. Only silence. You felt dissapointed but then again, why did you expect something from him so you just let the silence eat you until your mind faded into a deep rest.

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Author's note:

hey guys, hope you like the update and I hope that you aren't too confused. RECAP: i think it's for best for both you and me so here it is, just to make things clearer:

You found out that Kai was cheating on you and so you are heartbroken but you decide to keep it to yourself and not fight with him. You are afraid that things will come to its worse so you don't want to break up with up and all. You also don't want to break up with him because you don't want to lose him and so you just don't talk about it and try to avoid him. If everything stays to how it is then you are safe but just, broken
So, I hope that makes it better for you to understand. I think I might update soon but after I finish my current chapter for the other fanfic so please wait a bit for an update. Hope you have a good day and see you all soon :)