Chapter 17

Mixed Feelings- kai

That morning you woke up with the natural lighting coming inside from the windows. You shook the fatigue away and everything came to you. Suddenly, your phone rang and there was a message from Suho. He asked where you were because you didn't come back to the dorm. You texted him back that you were with Luhan and Sehun and he understood. You remembered that this was your old room so you quickly got up and got ready to leave.Even though Sehun properly invited you to stay, it was somehow uncomfortable to stay in a place where a bad past has happened. The memories of that last time you saw Kai was too upsetting if you were to stay here for longer. So, you went to the bathroom and freshened up. After, you went to get a glass of water from the kitchen. When you sipped on your cup, you noticed someone lying on the couch. Was it Luhan? It seemed so but what was he doing there? You kept quiet, in case he needed the sleep. When you got back upstairs and was about to close the door of your old room to change into your uniform, you heard the door downstairs close. Odd, was it just Luhan leaving for schedules? You reminded yourself that you needed to thank both Sehun and Luhan later for staying the night. Once you finally got ready and headed downstairs, you were surprised when you heard a murmur of conversation downstairs.

You swung your bag around and turned the corner from the stairs and saw Luhan and Sehun sitting at the table eating breakfast.
"Oh, good morning" you greeted.
"Oh, hello _____-sshi." Luhan said with a smile.
"Noona! How was your sleep?" Sehun asked.
"It was alright. Oh yeah, thanks for letting me stay here." you bowed formally. Luhan was a little taken aback at how you were still so kind and bright despite what you have gone through. Seeing Kai all down right after you left, you looked the total opposite of Kai. Even though he was angry that you took Sehun away from him, seeing your smile made his grudge disappear.
"No problem, you can come over any time." You thought about this morning, the sound of the door closing, but seeing that no one left you wanted to ask them.
"Uhm, did anyone leave this morning? I heard the door close when I came out of the bathroom." The boys just shook their heads. You raised an eyebrow, weird. You became worried for a second but shook it off.
"Maybe I was just hearing things." But you still had a strange feeling about it. Seeing that you were just lingering here a bit longer to your liking, you quickly called to say you were leaving.
"I'll be going now, I don't want to be late for school." You went to the door and hurriedly put on your shoes to leave. "Hope to see you again Luhan-sshi. Sehun-ah, if you want to walk with me, you better hurry up." you teased after.
"Wait for me!" Sehun quickly sorted out his things and ran as fast as he could to catch up with you. Before leaving, he gave Luhan a hug to reassure him that he is still keeping Luhan in mind despite ignoring him all this time. Luhan felt the warmth spread and his lips curved instantly into a wide smile. He missed it so much and he was happy that Sehun was giving him another chance.
"I'll see you after school for our date. Lucky we don't have schedules today." Luhan called out. Sehun waved goodbye and ran out the door after you.

"Yah, _____-noona, are you still working even though you're going to school?" Sehun asked. You nodded.
"I work on Wednesdays and also the weekends." you answered.
"So today is Wednesday, when do you start working?"
"Straight after school I guess. I don't there is much to be done, the office is pretty quiet when I arrive." you said.
The walk to school wasn't as bad as you thought. Remembering how bad you felt when you rejected him yesterday, it was odd to see Sehun still so bright. You were thankful that he wasn't that upset towards you. You thought that he was going to ignore you because he would be sad about your rejection but he was holding up well. You knew that he was sad inside and was only being happy in front of you so you wanted to spend some more time with him to make him happier. Since all that he has done for you was make you happy, you wanted to repay him. While walking and talking to him, you thought of a good idea for him.
When you reached the school and met up with your friends. Since your idea for Sehun was still in mind, you went to ask him before he left for class.
"I'll be right back" you told your friends. They nodded and talked to themselves at your locker.
"Uhm Sehun-ah." Sehun stopped walking to class and turned back around to you. "I was wondering if you were busy after school. I want to repay you for taking me out and cheering me up these past few weeks." Seeing his face, you thought your plan was going to go well, that is, until his face slowly deflated.
"Actually, I've made plans for today. Sorry." He gave a guilty smile.  Even though it was a small request, inside, you really wanted to treat him. You were thankful that he was there when you were feeling low but now you have to think of something else.You tried to recover and told him that it was OK, maybe another time.
"I'll see you later, neh?" The bell went and so you both left for class. You got your things and went with DaeHee and YuRi to class.

You were in Chemistry class, your mind going blank. The class was doing an experiment in the laboratory and you were paired with DaeHee. Unfortunately, none of you were doing any work because it seemed that the both of you were off in your own world. YuRi was working on her experiment with the shy boy from the basketball game. They seemed to be a lot closer and you and DaeHee found out that he was the person YuRi was texting and secretly fawning over. You were happy for YuRi but now, you were too focused on your 'Plan B' for Sehun. The class dragged on as you were thinking of what to get Sehun. Before school, you thought of the idea of getting him that toy hammer he wanted at the game centre you last went to. You also wanted to take him out to buy him his favourite bubble tea but now that Sehun was busy, you thought that maybe you could just buy it yourself and give it to him after. When you thought about it, maybe next time came to mind because you remembered Sehun said he had plans today. So, you decided that you would treat him another time.
When you finished with your thoughts, the teacher made some instructions and you quickly followed what he said. You focused on doing the experiment so you didn't see how quiet DaeHee has been.
"Hey DaeHee, can you pass me that spatula?" you asked finally. Since the whole time you were both quiet, DaeHee snapped back to reality from her dazed expression as well. "Hmmm?" DaeHee said.
You looked at her weirdly from her delayed response and saw that her face didn't look so good.
"DaeHee, is everything OK?" you asked, worried. She blinked a few times then nodded. "Hmmm." she hummed. You thought that she was acting strangely.
"I don't think so," you whispered when the teacher walked by. You pretended that you were working on the experiment when he passed so it looked like you were doing something. When he left, you stopped and continued talking to DaeHee. "Do you want to talk about it at lunch?" DaeHee didn't seem sure but she nodded anyway.

When class was over, you, DaeHee and YuRi packed your things into your lockers and then walked to the cafeteria. You were talking to YuRi and her 'friend' while DaeHee just kept quiet. When you all got your food and sat down, the conversation kept going and you also talked to DaeHee.
"So, what do you like most about YuRi's features?" you asked the guy. His name was TaeWoo. He seemed to know how lucky he was to be with YuRi. He was very smart and kind and as you talked to him, you knew that he was perfect for YuRi. All he has to do now was have enough courage to ask her out. It was so obvious that the two really like each other and you were quite impatient that they weren't together already. You left the two to talk to themselves while you pulled DaeHee aside to talk to her.
"Hey, what's up?" you asked her. DaeHee hesitated then she poured out everything in one go, along with her tears.
"That jerk broke up with me." She cried quietly into your arms. You were pretty shocked but you were able to wrap your arms around her also. This was so sudden.
"Do you want to talk about it?" you asked. DaeHee was half nodding, half shaking her head. "We were fighting and he really got to me. It was like he became someone else. His words were too harsh so I broke it off."
"Mhmm" was all you could say. "I'm sure you'll get over him. He doesn't deserve you." You comforted her. You told YuRi about DaeHee and so the four of you, including TaeWoo comforted DaeHee until she stopped crying. For the rest of the day, you spent class time keeping an eye out for DaeHee and also getting YuRi and TaeWoo to fess up (confess) and go out. By the end of the day, DaeHee had gotten over her ex-boyfriend and joined in with you teasing and forcing the two to get together.
"Come on, just ask her out already." You and DaeHee ran out of class and went to find TaeWoo. You left YuRi behind but she soon caught up, as she was very worried about what the two of you would do.
"Yeah," DaeHee said. You turned to quickly see YuRi coming your way. "If you go out with YuRi, we'll do anything for you for a week: homework, chores, walking the dog, being your slave, anything you want." You were desperately pleading. TaeWoo smiled amusingly, seeing that you and DaeHee would do anything to get him and YuRi together.
 "Hmmm, how about DaeHee, you let me visit you at JYP and introduce to me MissA and ______-sshi, how about you buy me bubble tea for two weeks?" you and DaeHee quietly whispered among yourselves. It seemed fair enough, the offer wasn't too big and seeing that it would be the best thing a friend could give YuRi, you were willing to accept. When you saw YuRi almost barge right between the deal, you quickly shot up and agreed with the offer.
"Deal." I'll start my task tomorrow. What's your favourite bubble tea?" you asked. "And I'll see if I can get you in... let's see... maybe Friday." DaeHee said, "I'm not sure if MissA will be there but I'll ask."
"OK. Cool guys," TaeWoo shook both your hands in a business manner, "If you allow me some time, I'll ask her out by tomorrow." By then, YuRi was squinting at you three, suspicious of what you were all up to.
"What's going on?" she asked accusingly. You and DaeHee didn't want to get caught with your little secret with TaeWoo so you quickly made up excuses to leave.
"Nothing...?" We'll be going now." and so you and DaeHee ran off. When you got to the corner, you and DaeHee hid behind the corner of the school and watched as TaeWoo and YuRi exchanged gestures. You couldn't hear them from here so you watched their body language. You saw TaeWoo talking and then when he finished, YuRi looked up in surprise. She began to blush madly and she turned her face down so he couldn't see. TaeWoo still had that cute smile, amused that YuRi was acting that way. You and Daehee knew that TaeWoo had popped the question already. YuRi suddenly look around; you and DaeHee was scared that you were going to be caught so you quickly hid behind the corner. When you looked out again, DaeHee squealed silently as she saw YuRi and TaeWoo's face brighten up even more (if that was possible) when she nodded to accept his question. By now, you felt so giddy inside because you helped with the set-up that you couldn't resist but hold DaeHee's hands and laugh loudly. YuRi and TaeWoo were finally going out. You and DaeHee celebrated YuRi's relationship, jumping up and down behind the corner. When DaeHee stopped, you both saw TaeWoo give YuRi a warm hug. The scene was so cute, you could die.

You stepped back and you felt really happy, seeing both your friends so cheery. YuRi has now a relationship and DaeHee has gotten over her break-up. This was a very important memory for you. You breathed in, savouring the moment and when DaeHee said that the scene was over, you walked with her to her company for practice. You waved goodbye so she could enter the building.
"See you tomorrow!" you waved to her. "Bye!" DaeHee shouted behind her. Then, you walked around to find your way home. It was almost 4:30pm so you hurriedly went home to get your things so you could go to work.
It's been a while since you showed up. When you arrived, you were expected to talk to your Boss about you absences. You explained that you were going through some personal issues and that you did call beforehand to your manager to let him know. Seeing that you were still a student and only working part-time, it was understandable that the workplace looked down on you. With your best explanation, all you got was reduced pay roll until next week. You accepted the underpayment but seeing the look on your Boss' face, it was hard not to think that he had something against you. Still, you bowed to him and then went back to work. Since you haven't been here, the other workers made sure that you still did your job properly. You were in a good mood because of your friends so the work didn't seem too burdensome.
When you were done, your mom called and asked if you were OK. You spent the whole ride on the train just talking about what you've been up to. You told her about your breakup, your friends, Sehun confessing and going back to work and school. You told her everything. When you arrived back to Suho's dorm, you were still on the phone. You were too busy to even greet whoever was in the dorm. There were a group of them just lazing around pretty much doing nothing. Some said hi but you ignored them.
"Mhmmm. Mhmmm. Yes. Uhuh." you said through the phone. Your mom became worried and kept blabbing about your health and doing well in school. She threatened to drive all the way from your house to the dorms just to check up on you. Since your hometown was about two hours away, you didn't want to burden your mom. She was already weak and you seriously cared about her as much as she did with you so you convinced her you would be OK and that you would see her as (school) break comes up. She then talked about your school exams and made note that 'you should do well' and if not then, 'giving your best is what's most important'. You nodded and "yess-ed, mhmmm-ed" in response. The boys who greeted you looked at you funnily because you were so busy talking to whoever was on the phone. You ignored them and walked all the way in your room without giving them even a slight glance.

"Alright mom, I'll take care. I promise if I get the chance, I'll visit you soon. Mhmmm. Yes. OK. You too. Bye"
You ended the phone call with a small smile and then dressed out of your uniform. Once you tied your hair in a high bun again, you texted DaeHee to see how her practice was. She said she was tired and was going to do some homework then get some rest. Your conversation ended there. You wanted to text YuRi how she was going but you thought that she would already have 'company' and you didn't want to disturb her. So now you had nothing to do. Well, you did, homework of course but you were too lazy. You walked downstairs to see what the others were doing. When you went down, you saw Suho texting and Lay and Xiumin talking to each other.
"Hey guys" you called out. The boys looked up in surprise.
"Oh, hey _____" Lay called. The boys stopped what they were doing and they got up and walked over to you. Suho patted your shoulder and told you,
"We're going to walk over to Kris' dorm and hang out there for the night. Do you want to come with us?"
"Uh sure. I'll just go get a jacket." you wrapped yourself warmly in a light cardigan and the six of you: Suho, Lay, Xiumin, Chen, Kyungsoo and yourself walked to Kris' dorm. On the way, you met up with Luhan and Sehun. It seemed that everyone was going to meet up together. You were excited because it has been so long that you've seen all of them in one place. Despite the fact you were going to hang out with 12 amazing guys,wait 11 (you get me right?), you still had something to discuss with Luhan and Suho.

As you were walking, you pulled the two behind and talked quietly between the three of you.
"I wanted to discuss with you about my stay in the dorms." "Oh yeah, what were you thinking?" Suho asked.
"Well, I want to thank you both for letting me stay at your place but I think it's time for me to find some place else. I don't like the thought of bothering you guys." Luhan and Suho looked at each other with a blank expression. As much as EXO don't like other people's company, you were an exception. Both Luhan and Suho didn't want you to feel guilty for staying with them.
"No, it's alright _____." They both said. You were taken aback that they you would be so kind but you knew that you couldn't live like this forever.
"I can't just jump back and forth between dorms for the rest of my life so I've been thinking that I should go back home and stay with my mum until I find my own place. I'll be leaving as soon as I graduate I guess and I'll work things out from there." Luhan and Suho thought that it was reasonable until you opened your mouth again.
"However, it's going to be a while until graduation and right now I feel really bad for staying at your place for the past few weeks. I've literally stolen your room Suho-sshi and I feel like I made a mess in your dorm Luhan-sshi. I don't want to bother you guys so I think it's best if I move out as soon as possible. I'll arrange something with my friends or something or I'll look for a place to stay. What I want to say was thank you for looking after me. I really appreciate it."
Suho and Luhan looked at each other with the same thought. How could someone so small and happy (most times) be so strong, wise and has so much gratitude? You were only 18 yet, you were battling such great issues with every ounce of positivity. Suho was amazed at how much you could pull through. Luhan as well, he saw how much you are going through and for someone who just lost the person they loved and dealing with such serious problems, like finding a place to stay, he realised that you were a lot stronger at heart than most people he knew.

"______-sshi," Suho comforted, "You know that you are not bothering us at all. We don't care how you affect us, as long as you're here, we're happy. You're one of the rare people we count as a friend and so having you take over my room is nothing, it's what friends do and so, you are openly invited to stay at any of our dorms until you move back with your mom." Suho's words were so warm. Of course, you knew about them ever since you met Kai for the first time in middle school but somehow you never labeled yourself as a friend to most of the members. Only now, hearing it from Suho, did you realise how much you meant to them. They really cared about you and they were so kind to take care of you. "Thank you so much guys, how can I ever repay you for this?" You brought the two of them into a hug. You all were happy to sort all of this out and in a way, you became closer to them. The three of you then held hands cheesily and finally arrived at Kris' dorm.

"Hello everyone" you happily cheered. Everyone came forward and greeted you. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were the happiest out of all of them. You haven't seen them the most so it was nice to hear that they missed you. You were squashed into a sandwich hug which made you laugh heartily. They always seemed to make you laugh, no matter what they did. The two munchkins stepped back but as they did so, Chanyeol went flying to the ground. His face was priceless which made you all crack up in a fit of laughter.
"Ah, hyung, you're the most clumsiest guy I've ever met." Sehun joked. Seeing as he was the maknae, Chanyeol became offended easily and teased Sehun back. "Yah! Why don't you get us all drinks and leave me alone?" Sehun stopped laughing and quickly rushed out before Chanyeol asked him to do anything else. You all talked and laughed while snacking on foods and drinks. You took selcas with Tao and talked about his soft cheeks then you played games with Luhan, Chen, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Lay. You eyed around the room to see who wasn't playing. Kyungsoo was mucking around with Sehun, Xiumin and Tao were being princesses on a sofa together, Suho was texting (again) and lastly, you saw Kris silently snacking on some food by himself. You found it too amusing and you decided to , just for fun. You signaled the guys you were playing with about your funny idea and they went along with it. After you sorted out your plan, you all quickly and quietly (apart from Baekhyun's little snickers) went into the kitchen and got your weapon ready.
Half and hour later, you managed to make some small buns, but there was a catch. "Everyone, we've made a snack!" All the boys hurried over to the coffee table in the living room and dug in with one bun each. Kris was usually slow so you knew that this would work. You quickly gave the Kris the 'poisoned' bun with a sweet smile. He didn't expect anything so he just bit into it without hesitation. As soon as he closed his mouth and started chewing, the boys who worked on the buns with you all cheered. The plan was a success. The guys who didn't know what was going on, all looked at you weirdly until they heard some loud gagging. Kris' face was shocking when he spat out the 'poisoned' bun. Secretly, you put in some extra salt and wasabi in it. Everyone laughed seeing Kris being pranked for the first time in ages. He was usually the cold guy but now he seemed so vulnerable.
When that was over, Kris grudgingly told the group who made the buns to clean everything up and he left to go into his room.
You were packing up the buns but then you had a strange flashback. The buns reminded you of something, no-- someone. "Kai" you unconciously said out loud. At the word, the whole room fell silent and everyone turned their heads to you, stunned. You were frozen in your flashback.
It was the first time you met Kai, in the dark dance room. You could picture out the wide room and how perfect his dancing was. You could see Kai's perfect figure, his jawline, high cheeks and warm smile when he talked to you for the first time and his surprised face when you stuffed that bun in his face and ran off. And just like that, everything seemed wrong again. You only realised that Kai was the only one missing. You were grateful, partially because you didn't think you would be able to face him but there was this feeling.
"Where's Kai?" you asked. Everyone blinked at your sudden change. Your face no longer had that cheeky smile from pranking Kris, it lost.You looked at Kyungsoo and Suho who shrugged their shoulders. Some people shook their heads, telling you that they didn't know.
"Does anyone know?" You didn't know why you were being like this but you were, you were starting to really worry. You accidentally left your phone back at Luhan's dorm so you asked if anyone could call him.
Suddenly Sehun called out an idea. "How about we all call him together?" then Xiumin bumped him in the head. "Babo, that means that he won't pick up because everyone is calling at the same time. How about we take turns." Even though that was supposed to be funny, the tension in the room grew because of how serious you looked. Everyone was worried about how you were feeling and what you were thinking but you only had Kai in your mind.
Where is he? Is he OK? You couldn't ignore that you cared about him albeit not being with him anymore. So one by one the boys failed to make Kai pick. The conclusion was that Kai didn't have his phone with him or that we didn't want to answer. As you all sat there, wondering what the youngin' would be doing, it got really late so you all decided to head back to your dorms and work things out tomorrow.
However, through the whole night, every single member in the dorm couldn't sleep well, having their minds worried about Kai. You especially, sat in bed without sleep and thought of all the possibilites to where he could be and if he was alright.

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Author's note: hey guys! I hope you liked the update. There were many things I needed to consider when writing. I realised that there were lots of things going on and when I begin writing, ideas just flow through my mind and I can't stop. I keep adding things and then deleting things so it takes some time for me to be happy with what I upload. So, I finally think that the chapter is well. Thank you for reading and hope to see you next chapter. Please comment below, subscribe... you know the deal... And I'll see you soon. Hope everyone had a great break and HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR! Stay tuned to find out what happens to you, Kai and all the other members. Where is Kai and what has he been up to? Why is Suho constantly texting? Congratulations to YuRi and TaeWoo!!!! And will Sehun and Luhan end up back with each other? Until then~

BYEeEEeeEEeEeEeeeeEee~~~~~

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cheekylittlechubba #1
Chapter 21: Amazing story authornim!!!

She's one tough cookie ^^

Great job authornim :D :D
go_crazy #2
Chapter 21: Wow! It took me so long to finish reading it, mostly cuz of school, but none the less this story was Jjang! Amazing.
Kitty_Zuni #3
Chapter 21: Omg I loved it seriously! You're a great writer so realistic and I'm glad I even had the opportunity to find this story:) will you be doing a sequel? You should think about it please?:)
sm17eexoticbaby
#4
Chapter 21: this story was amazing<3
im really.. picky when it comes to fanfics
and its hard for me to like one
but this fic just had me hooked since the first chapter, always wondering how kai and "my" relationship would turn out
i really enjoyed reading this(:
daestarlight
#5
Chapter 20: Wow they got back together. It's sweet :) thank you author!! Omg I love the gifs
Kitty_Zuni #6
Chapter 18: Omg I'm so excited for what's about to happen next:)
daestarlight
#7
Chapter 18: Awww Kai where are you? Just get back together
TheAmazingNinja
#8
Chapter 6: I like the story so far!
Kitty_Zuni #9
Chapter 17: Loved it keep going :)