Chapter 16

Mixed Feelings- kai

Tao ran in from catching the train to the SM building holding a whole bag of drinks for the members. Since he was the maknae (youngest) of them all, he was very easily picked on to do every little errand the members could deviously think of. With Sehun, they carried the bags of snacks and drinks and walked in talking endlessly about getting the members back as revenge.

When they walked upstairs and turned to go into the practice room, they heard that the members were all in recording studio again and the only one in the room was Kai. Tao told Sehun to give the drinks to the other members while he would hand over the drink to Kai. Sehun nodded and went downstairs again.

Tao entered the quiet room, seeing that Kai was dancing with the music from his earphones. The shuffling and the squeaking echoed through the room and Tao just stood at the corner and watched Kai dance until the song ended. By the finishing pose, Tao walked up to him and handed him a towel and the drink.
"Here." Kai was a little surprised hearing a voice when before he was just alone in the room. Even though there were mirrors everywhere, he was too focused on his moves than his surroundings.
"Oh thanks" he said quietly and in-between breaths. He took the straw to his mouth and sipped a large amount before sitting down straight on the spot where he was standing. After a few moments of silence Tao wondered what he could talk about and there was definitely something on his mind. However, Tao wasn't sure if it was alright for Kai. He thinks that Kai might get upset again if he talks... about you. All the members told Tao that this was a sensitive topic around Kai these days. Since you broke up with Kai, he has shut himself from everyone and he got particularly worked up towards people who were talking about you and that meant Sehun and Suho got into the most fights with Kai.

Tao understood why Suho was talking about you, seeing that you were staying with him and the members were quite curious at most times and they had to ask but Sehun, he knew that there was something going on now. Sehun seemed more concerned about you even more than your friends. It was like he was obsessed or something. He has been acting very differently and Tao thought that it was strange.

The main concern now was what Tao was going to say, just to muster up some conversation with Kai.
"Is everything OK, why aren't you with the others at the recording studio?" Tao asked. Kai just shrugged.
"You know, you can talk to me if you want. About anything, anything that is troubling you." Kai contemplated. Should he? Maybe just to get it off his chest.
"Well-- oh never mind." Every time he wants to talk about it, every time he thinks about it, about you, he feels the pain and loss growing in his chest and it hurts too much so he just keeps pushing it away and tries his best to get over it, over you. However, it doesn't seem to work because there was nothing he could think about other than you. You were gone from his life and since you left, it felt like a part of him just crumbled away and so he has feels incomplete. Right now, he could feel it, his chest tightening and his throat all caught up. He tries to swallow, to rid of the blockage from both his throat and his chest, the pain but it doesn't really go away.
Kai thought better than to talk to the members seeing that he got into a fight most of the times when they talk about you.

"Kai"
"Mhmm?"
"About _____... You can talk to me about that too." Tao sincerely suggested.
"No!" Kai said harshly. It was sudden for Tao to say such when he was just thinking about you but then again, you were the main topic around the members these days.
"Why not?"
"Because! I - I don't want to"
"But I just want to help--"
"No! OK? I said no, just stop."
"I haven't even said anythi--"
"I don't want to hear it anyway!"
"Why are you being like this? I can't stand it anymore. I know you're heart is hurting right now but you have to understand that you have to move on and try to be happy.You're an idol, you still have commitments and the world is still going round." Tao bursted right then.
"Yah! Just because I am an idol it doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Do you know how much I'm hurting? I can't sleep, eat, or even think straight because all that I have right now is nothing. I lost ______ and now that we're not together, I realise how much she means to me. I don't know what to do right now. None of this matters anymore if I don't have her." Kai shouted at the top of his lungs with his hands thrown in the air. He stood up furiously and stomped out of the room.

Tao was very surprised. He sat there, blinking his eyes rapidly. What just happened? Sure Kai has been very moody but never to Tao. This was one of their first disputes and Tao, rather than being angry at Kai for shouting at him, he was worried that Kai might break, like seriously go overboard and he couldn't think of any way to help. Nonetheless, he hurries after Kai but as he looks around for Kai in the building, Tao realises that he has lost trace of Kai.

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"Hello?" you answered the phone.
"Hey ____, do you want to go out with us? Since you're not working today, how about we catch up?" YuRi asked on the other end.
"Oh, OK. It sounds better than cleaning up by myself."
"What?! What do you mean by yourself? Where are the others, Suho oppa and Chen oppa and--" you cut DaeHee off, hearing her in the background.
"They're at the dance room today for practice. I'll be ready in 15 minutes."
"OK sure, we'll be at your door by then" YuRi then hung up with the sounds of DaeHee worrying about her "oppas" in the background.

You were in your PJ's since you thought that you were going to stay home the whole day so you went back to Suho's room, got changed and freshened up. You put on some light make up and checked yourself in the mirror one last time. You wore a pastel pink shirt with a soft white collar and some loose black shorts. You had your curled hair in a low pony tail and your fringe swept to one side. You made a small smile to yourself and just at that moment, you heard a knock at the door.

The three of you were walking around town, window shopping and talking. YuRi was off in her own world so you and DaeHee were just mumbling about food since it was almost lunch time.
"I'd really want one of those nachos that's around the corner of Maisie's. How about you?"
"Well, I'm thinking of a chicken burger. Maybe I could go to McCoy's" DaeHee nodded.
"How about I'll go buy my nachos and you get your burger and we'll meet back here in 5 minutes."
"Sounds good. YuRi, what are you going to get?" you asked. YuRi seemed distracted.
"Huh?" she looked up from her phone. You and DaeHee glanced at each other, knowing that YuRi was hiding something.
"What's up with you lately? You seem like you're in your own world." Suddenly, there was a message tone from YuRi's phone.
YuRi was about to check it but DaeHee got to it first. YuRi was shocked and tried to get her phone back.
"DaeHee!!! Give it back to me." DaeHee ran away and peeked through her phone.
"OMG! YuRi..." she squealed, "What is this? I mean, who is this? Are you guys dating?"
"Hey, let me see." you asked curiously. DaeHee carefully chucked the phone to you and you read what was on the phone. There were a series of texts going back and forth between YuRi and a guy.
"Awww how cute! YuRi, how could you keep this from us?! Can we meet him, can we, can we?"
YuRi snatched her phone back with a grungy expression.
"See, this is why I don't tell you such things, you are so annoying." She rolled her eyes playfully and started to walk away from you and DaeHee. You saw that she was already blushing as she walked away and you snickered with DaeHee, because of how ridiculous she reacted.
You then spent your day with your friends, shopping and teasing each other.

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The next day, you made a date with your friends again but that morning, YuRi called to say that she had something going on at home and DaeHee said that she had "practice' the whole day. You accepted their excuses but somehow, they sounded a bit odd on the other end. It was as if they were trying to avoid you. You wondered what they were really up to. There were some times that they've done this to you in the past but you let them slide. This however, was far too bizarre.

You got off the phone with the girls and made your way down from Suho's room. You were thinking about what to eat for breakfast when the doorbell rang.

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The same morning, Sehun and Luhan were getting ready for the day. Kai, on the other hand, hasn't been seen since the last practice a few days ago. The boys thought that Kai was at another dorm or hanging out at a friend's place but it was odd that he hasn't called or anything. The boys became worried and Luhan said that he was going to find Kai today if he has the chance. Sehun agreed that he will also be on the look-out. Since there was only the two living in the house, it became very silent.

Sehun woke up earlier than Luhan. He was getting dressed for school but he had other plans today. For the past few weeks, since you broke up with Kai, he has been trying his best to cheer you up. It felt like a personal responsibility for him to make you smile again. He fixed up his hair and shifted his tie side to side. When he was done, he walked downstairs and picked up a piece of fruit then was about to head out the door when he heard Luhan come down.
"Where are you going?" he asked sleepily. Luhan walked around the kitchen and started looking for something to eat while Sehun was near the door, finding his shoes.
"I'm going to find _____-noona and I'll be taking her .... to school." Sehun slurred his words, covering his mistake of telling where he was actually going to.
Luhan noticed the change in his tone and raised an eyebrow. Something was up. He stopped making his breakfast and just watched as Sehun guiltily tied his shoelaces. Sehun has been keeping a lot of things from Luhan lately and he was becoming worried. As much as he would like to walk up to him, hug him and force Sehun to tell him what's going on, he knew that he still needs to keep a distance from Sehun as they weren't really together anymore. He doesn't want to seem like he was desperate or anything and do something stupid to drive Sehun away.
"I'll be back after dinner so don't wait up for me." He said hurriedly. All of a sudden he felt a tug at his chest when he faced Luhan with a mere lie. He didn't want to truthfully but he didn't want to get caught rebelling.
"OK. Have a good day." Luhan called lethargically, both from being awake for only 5 minutes and because he feels like he wants to just let go of Sehun, just loosen his grasp a bit because he's seeing that their relationship was not really working.

As Sehun rushed out the door and ran around the corner to Suho hyung's dorm, he was trying to find the words to say to _____-noona. He wanted to call but you weren't picking up. So he called your friends and they told him that she was just at the dorm and was going to go out with them but Sehun had other plans and convinced the girls to make up an excuse so he could hang out with you. Just for today. The girls sensed something from Sehun and teased if he like you but he denied strongly. And, a strong denial is a secret confirmation. The girls let this go for once seeing that you needed some more time to distract yourself and so the girls agreed with whatever Sehun was going at.
Just as he was at a lost for words, his mind going completely blank for a persuasive speech to take you out, he had reached the door and tapped at it.

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You opened the door and found a breathless Sehun holding onto the wall with one hand and the other resting on his tummy. He was heaving air like there was tomorrow.
"Uh, what's going on?" you asked. Seeing that you were still in your PJ's, you hid behind the door a bit but Sehun stepped inside and walked around you with a smile.
"I have come to pick you up. Come on, we need to get going." You tilted your head and just stared at Sehun who was shooing you to go get dressed.
"Going...go where?" you asked,
"Someplace. It's a surprise. Now go change into your uniform. We have to go to school first."
"What? School, why?" Sehun didn't answer and just went to sit at the couch. You sighed. What's going on? Even though you were unsure with Sehun's intention to go to school but seeing that you spent a long time trapped in this dorm, you decided it was time to get back on track with your studies.
You got into your uniform and the both of you walked together to school. You were already late, it was 9 when you left the dorm so you guys took the time and made your way to class.
Before Sehun left your side to go to his own class he told you, "Don't forget to meet me after school for the surprise." You were so confused, wasn't going to school the upsetting surprise? You tilted your head in confusion and stood there.
"Well, I have to go to class now, see you later noona!" he gave a quick peck at your cheek and ran off. The tingle of his kiss remained on your cheek for a while until you shook it away and went into the classroom. Why did he keep doing this to you? As the door slid open, the whole class stopped and turned to look at you. The stares were more intimidating than you expected. You didn't even think about how school would be until now and it dawned on you how much of a fuss you were making just by being here; especially since the break up has been announced. You heard that Kai had written a statement for the company so you assumed that the looks you were getting from your classmates as you walked in and sat down in your seat that they were looks of judgment and curiosity. They were probably wondering why you were at school today and why you were away for the couple past weeks. You ignored their whispers and glares and just spent the whole day by yourself, trying to hide as much of your face as possible.

You were sitting alone since your friends weren't at school. You scolded them in your head for leaving you here to cope with this by yourself. They were obviously going to pay.
Being your lonesome self, you had nothing to do so while you ate lunch, a sweet bun and some chocolate milk, you looked through some news on your phone.
You found an article about EXO attending a radio show a few days ago however, Kai was not there. He also wasn't there at a performance or two either.
The more you read, the more you felt a tug at your chest. Funny, because when you break up with someone, it usually means your feelings for them have faded however, why do you feel so worried about Kai and wanting to ask him why this was happening and wanting to comfort him because you knew more than what the articles were saying. Kai wasn't like this on purpose and the first thing that came to mind was that it was partly your fault.

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You waited at the back gates of the school for Sehun. Since lunch, you weren't really in the mood for any surprise. You were looking at the time on your phone however you missed it eyeing the background photo. The picture was a clear image of Kai's first smile he showed you. Your heart skipped a beat and you could never convince yourself that this was the jerk who you broke up with. His smile was of a boy who was shy of cameras and dancing in front of strangers. This Kai was the one who made you smile and showed off his dorky side every now and then. This Kai was the one who has been with you through thick and thin yet now, even when looking at this picture, you knew that this Kai was longer here.

You sighed, you were supposed to be forgetting him and moving on but you would never admit that it was as hard as it was. Everyone seems to think that you were feeling better and all but that's not true. It still lingered, that pinch of sadness and loss that was at the bottom of your heart. You put away your phone and tried to focus on the school mates who were making their way in a crowd out the school gates. You looked around slowly to find Sehun and saw him running out with a smile on his face. You were waiting for him to slow down but you were surprised when he just clasped your hand and didn't stop. Your body was hauled in his direction and you almost tripped over yourself because of the speed. Sehun ran and ran until he got into the centre of the city. You tried your best to keep up and just looked down at your hand. Sehun's was wrapped nicely around yours and you felt secure for the first time in ages. Your eyes couldn't leave your hands. You were so mesmerised at how much of an effect this had on you. Your whole body started to feel warm, not just literally. Was this on purpose or did Sehun just want you to move faster?

You could never be able to tell Sehun's intentions on anything. His sudden flow of sincere words, his caring actions and his little acts of contact, what did they all mean? Sehun stopped just outside an icecream shop and he let go of your hand. You looked up at his pouty face who was looking inside the small icecream shop. Suddenly, your hand felt empty, like really empty. You couldn't help the feeling of wanting Sehun's hands in yours again. Or maybe not Sehun's hands. Sure, his was warm and comforting but they were different to what you were used to. They somehow didn't seem to fit.

Sehun went inside and you waited silently. When he came back, he handed you a cone filled with a scoop of chocolate icecream and a scoop of this bizarre green choc mint icecream.
"How'd you know?" Sehun turned to you, confused.
"Huh?"
"This, the choc mint and chocolate combo. It's is my favourite."
"Oh really?" You nodded.
"Hmmm, it seems my mind is melding with yours noona." He gave a grin and swiped his peace fingers from his mind to yours.

Sehun then dragged you away. You s around all the people in such a rush that you almost dropped your icecream. You held onto Sehun's hands tightly as he led the way out into a less busy street. When you slowed down, the both just walked aimlessly and ate your snacks in silence.

You looked up at Sehun who was just looking out at the roads with the icecream near his chin. Sehun was very unpredictable indeed. You never expected to have such a good bond with Sehun yet you have spent most of the time with him nowadays. Maybe it was because you were the same age and went to school with each other and the fact that you lived together for a while but there was more to it. Since Sehun took you out to make you feel better, you learnt more about Sehun and you connected to a deeper level. However, there was still this barrier, it was as though you knew that  Sehun is just a close companion and nothing more. You could never look at Sehun the way you look at Kai.

As you arrived at the game centre in the mall, you have finished all your icecream. Sehun pulled you around until he found a game that interested him.
"Come on noona, let's try this." It was an aim game. Knock down as many tins with the amounts of balls you buy. Without an answer, Sehun fixed his cap and asked for a bucket of balls to play.
"So there are 20 in the bucket. How about we have 10 shots each." You nodded.
"OK then. The person who knocks the most cans gets to choose the prize." You quickly thought out.
"Sounds fair." Sehun tapped his chin as he looked behind the counter at the toys and prizes. "When I win, I"ll want the toy hammer over there." Sehun pointed out.
You looked around as well.
"I want that plushie there." You pointed to the top shelf. It was a small brown dog which had small curls. It reminded you of Kai's puppies and it was really cute.
"Then let's play and we'll find out if you'll get that prize." He had a competitive look in his eyes and you didn't really like it. As much as this was fun, you really wanted that toy now.
Off with the game. At the start, you weren't getting it right. Your angle was a bit off. You watched as Sehun knocked down the top of a tower by his second throw. You were getting worried. As you wanted to win, you started getting hyped up and threw continuously, hoping that you'd score. Unfortunately, after a few more throws, you've ran out of balls, only knocking down a few cans.
"Welp, that's it." Sehun swept his palms together, gesturing that he finished with his set too and seeing that smile on his face, you could tell that he was confident in winning. The game host counted up the knocked cans and you deflated when you heard that Sehun won. Sehun was jumping victoriously with his hands in the air and shouting out, "Vic-vic-victoRRYY!" He laughed and went to get his prize. You pouted and just stood in your spot. I really wanted to win though. Maybe next time. You cheered yourself up. Sehun was about to pick the prize until he turned to see your face. His smile dropped when he saw your small figure slumped at the shoulders and your head looking to the floor. Only now did he see how upset you were because you didn't win. Now he felt bad for celebrating so loudly next to you.
"Did you want to win that badly?" Sehun whispered to himself. His conscience twisted inside and he slowly changed his mind.
"Actually..." Sehun stopped the game host.

You shuffled your feet from side to side when you heard Sehun coming back.
"Here." You looked up to see a medium sized poodle right in your face. Surprised your eyes widened but you still grabbed onto the plushie anyway.
"What? I thought you wanted the toy hammer." Sehun just grabbed your arm and walked you over to the next game.
"I didn't need it. Let's just say this is a present since you allowed me to give you my surprise.
"Huh? What surprise?" you asked. You both stopped as you arrived at the basket game.
"You'll find out later. Now, let's play."
Sehun inserted some coins into the game and you spent a few rounds just shooting baskets and laughing about how bad you were at winning points.
"So, where do we go now?" you asked. Since all you did today was get dragged by Sehun and doing whatever he wanted, you waited for the next destination. So, again you were dragged out of the gaming store and into a wide clothes store but not just any store.
You felt a shiver in your spine as you stepped inside. Sehun let go of your hand and parted ways as he smiled at your expression before looking around at the many beautiful dresses hanging on display. You were amazed and confused. Why would Sehun take you to a place like this? And why have you never seen so many colorful fabrics in your life? You weren't really one to fit well with the uniform more or less these elegant dresses.
"Go on, choose one you like." Sehun called out from the other side of the store. You were still bitten by the fact that you were here.
As you walked around, viewing the many dresses, you wondered why Sehun brought you to a place like this. Was there a special occasion? Did something happen? After you walked around for a while, you met up with Sehun at one of the racks.
He was focusing at each dress and looking at its every detail.
"Why are we here?" you finally asked. "Did you need some advice on a dress for someone?" Sehun stopped picking at a dress and thought about his answer,
"You could say it like that." You raised your lip accusingly. What was this all about?
"Mhmm" You pursed your lip. Sehun's secrecy was annoying you. You were really curious. You both took a few steps around when finally, Sehun spotted something in which he was captured by.
"Hey, can you try on this dress?" 

You walked out of the change room, a little lost and shy. When Sehun saw the door open to reveal you wearing the dress he picked out, his jaw literally dropped to ground.
"Uhmm, so what do you think?" you mumbled awkwardly. You looked out to the distant mirror as Sehun didn't even blink. He was breath-taken. The white, flowy dress that was just hitched at the knees and had a dark, sparkly, black belt captured your hair and eyes perfectly while the pastel white made you look like a clear angel, to Sehun's eyes that is. The fabric was light and captured your essence perfectly. It really made your innocence and elegance shine. Before Sehun could let out his drool from leaving his mouth, he quickly replied,
"It's perfect. You look beautiful." You blushed lightly when he said so.
"Uhm excuse me, we'll take it." You looked up to Sehun surprised.
"Really? Just like that?" Sehun nodded. You tilted your head at him. Sehun picked out a dress simultaneously and then after seeing you try it on, he was willing to buy it without a second doubt. What was Sehun up to?
"Who is the dress for? What is this all about?" Sehun seemed caught when he turned his head back to you. He opened his mouth and closed it and repeated about three more times until he stopped and meekly said,
"Surprise." He stepped forward and pulled a piece of hair behind your ear and looked intently into your eyes. His large globes drew you in and you could see the seriousness and nervousness through him.

"Will you be my date for the school dance?"
"What?!" you said stunned.
"You see noona," Sehun suddenly became uncomfortable, "my surprise for you today was to buy you a dress and ask you to the dance. I wanted to confess how much I like you and I do; a lot. I want to be with you and get to know you more. I want to spend more time together, playing games and talking and studying... Maybe not the last one but- yeah. I just really like you noona." he finished off with a smile. You were very surprised indeed. What should you say? You've never really seen Sehun in that sort of light but since he just confessed, you were starting to get some mixed feelings. Sure, since you've spent more time with Sehun, it was noticeable that he was different and more caring towards you which made you care for him on a deeper level also but you knew that somewhere in your heart, you were holding up a barrier. As much as you thought Sehun was handsome, nice, funny, everything any girl would have wanted, that barrier indicated that you didn't like Sehun in that way at all, more like sibling love. You felt your heart drain of its oxygen, making it hard for you to breathe. This was not going to be easy. You knew that this was one of those moments where you have to do something bad so things don't end up in the worst later on. You took in a few breaths and looked up at Sehun with guilty eyes, unintentionally making Sehun drop his gorgeous smile. You felt so bad for doing this but you had to, you had to be true about this so Sehun won't be hurt later on.
"I'm sorry Sehun-ah, I can't be with you. I hope you understand but I'm not really ready to start anything new yet and as for the surprise today; thanks for taking me out and making me happy but I don't think I'll be going to the dance." You flicked a microscopic smile and quickly turned away. You hated yourself so much. Your heart was twisting inside. When you locked yourself in the change room, ready to leave, you held onto your chest and quietly whispered.
"I'm so sorry Sehun"

It was a very awkward walk down the street but nonetheless, Sehun was able to be his unpredictable self and just started talking to you even though you weren't really listening. He went on and on about random things and you just walked on as if you were listening to the radio about some sports scores. Sehun indented on some words and added hand gestures to explain but you were so out of it. Just now did you reject his confession, so why was he still so cheery and smiley? This was obviously an act. Of course, any guy would be hurt if someone turned them down and well, the person you turned down was Sehun. And you knew that Sehun, even though he was treated like a princess in the dorm, reckless to his hyungs and known for his expressionless face, he was still at heart, an ordinary human boy who has feelings. You couldn't take it anymore and stopped walking. You really wanted to apologise again for turning him down.
"Sehun-ah" Sehun stopped mid-sentence and looked back to you.
"I'm really sorry OK? I didn't mean to turn you down so harshly, I just think that we--"
"Uhuh" Sehun stopped you and shook his head. "It's OK. I don't need an explanation. If you don't want to go out with me then I can't force you to but it's good that I've let out my feelings. Let's just move past this, neh?" again, he still smiled and it pierced you strangely.
"Uh sure." It seems convincing enough that Sehun was over it but you could tell he was slightly upset.
"Come on, it's getting dark. I have one last place I want to go."

You arrived at a small photo booth, your hands in his and seeing that it was working, you both went inside. It was spacious enough for a group to be sitting on the seat. Sehun put in some coins and the booth . You looked at Sehun funnily.
"You know I don't really like taking pictures, Tao is an exception though."
"Awww please, just this once. I want to take a picture together. Please." He begged. Of course you were just teasing so you smiled and turned to the camera.
You got ready with a smile and SNAP! For your second shot, you posed with a peace sign, scolding yourself that being cute was not your thing. Then, trying to find another pose before the flash went off, you were too slow when you felt something hit against your cheek. Your face turned slightly shocked and before you could blink, a flash shone in your eyes, leaving you speechless.
You turned your head around right away to see Sehun right in front of you with a playful grin on his face.
"hehehe. I promise, this is the last time I do that without asking beforehand." He held up his index and middle finger together as a sign to say promise. Seeing that he meant it, you just let it go for the last time.
In three-four seconds, your photos were taken and it took a few more moments for the pictures to be printed.
"Hey, they didn't turn out so bad." you truthfully admitted, trying to hide your blush. Sehun ripped the set of four and gave you one half.
"I like this one. My face is so charming" Sehun said a bit to egotistically. You rolled your eyes whilst Sehun continued looking at his picture but truthfully he was admiring both of you together in the picture. However he felt a little down because of your soft rejection but he didn't want to look weak in front of you. He could get over it, you were you and he would never be upset at someone he likes.

As the day was ending, you both walked back to the dorm. It was tiring, walking around but you didn't mind, as long as you had a good day. With Sehun, you felt that the awkwardness slowly faded and by the time you arrived at the corner, you both were back to your teenage selves. You were complaining about the amount of homework the teachers gave you today since you didn't go to school for a while. When you reached the corner of the street to the dorms you stopped.
"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." you said goodbye to Sehun.
"Wait." you stopped in your spot after taking a few steps. "How about you come back to our dorm and sleep over?"
"Why?" you asked. Honestly, this was a question you tried to avoid when hanging out with Sehun but honestly, you did want to talk to him for a bit longer tonight.
"Well, it's only me and Luhan and it's pretty quiet. I just really miss having you around and Kai hasn't been home for a while so... I thought you'd come over if he wasn't there."
"What do you mean Kai isn't home?" you were starting to worry and didn't even realise that you were walking back with Sehun to the dorm.
Sehun explained on the way that none of the members haven't been able to contact Kai for the past few days and that the dorm has been silent ever since you both left. Luhan and Suho were exceptionally worried however they couldn't do anything about it. Since they were focusing on their schedules, it was hard for them to just keep an eye out for the lost lamb because it was their responsibility to look after the rest of the pack too.
"I tried calling him numerous times, we all did but I think Kai doesn't want to be found. Or he could be in trouble you negatively thought.
"It seems that you were too worried about Kai to realise that you followed me here. Might as well stay huh?" He opened the door to reveal that essence of something welcoming. It was truly warm and inviting. It was home. You felt your body shiver alive to the atmosphere that you really missed. However, there was this emptiness and the atmosphere was  a lot gloomier since you left.
"I guess you can sleep in your old room. I'll bring a change of clothes." When he came back, you changed and went to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth for the night. When you made your way back, you found Sehun waiting at the door frame with Luhan.
"I just wanted to wish you a goodnight."
"Oh, good night to you too. It was nice seeing you again Luhan-sshi" you said. Luhan just nodded and walked back into his room.
"And Sehun, thanks for taking me out today. I really enjoyed it." He smiled sincerely, "Me too."

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You fell asleep as soon as you hit the bed but through the middle of the night, you heard some strange muffling then a door closing. You awoke with a startle. You raised your head in instinct and cautiously kept quiet, looking out for any noises or strange movements but there was nothing but silence so slowly, you tried to relax then fell asleep again.

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When Sehun said goodnight, he walked back to his room and closed the door behind him. He was about to go to his bed and snuck under the covers, being that it was an eventful day for him but a voice called out his name. It echoed silently and he stood in his spot, sensing that the voice sounded a little off.
Sehun turned around and saw Luhan already in his covers and snuggling up with his toy. "Can you come here Sehun?" Luhan whispered.
Sehun walked over and stood at Luhan's head. "Yeah?" he asked. "Can you sleep with me tonight? I missed you." Hearing that from Luhan, Sehun felt a pang in his chest and he felt his guilt rising. All this time, he has been looking out for you, it seemed that he was traveling further away from Luhan. Realising only now how much he neglected Luhan, he felt like he knew that he wanted to take up this offer, as a comfort for Luhan and for himself and so Sehun carefully crept inside Luhan's blanket. Luhan shifted over to make space for the both of them and so the two spent a moment to adjust to this slightly awkward situation. They were closer than ever yet there was still a painful gap between them. Sehun tried to ease the awkwardness so he turned away from Luhan a bit. Then, there was silence. Sehun was not used to this, since he hasn't done this for a long time. Before, the two used to sneak around and try to cuddle up during the cold nights and talk endlessly under the covers until sleep came their way but it seemed so long ago that Sehun could label those as childhood memories. The air between them was tense and after a few more heavy breaths, Luhan broke the silence and started with a question.
"Sehun, why did you come home so late? Did you go somewhere with ______-sshi?" he whispered.
"Mhmmm." Sehun just confirmed bluntly.
"What did you do?"
"Just went out to play and then we had icecream, not much." Sehun shrugged. Luhan nodded in response. Then there was a pause. Seeing that the conversation went into a dead end, Sehun tried to avoid the awkward tension so he closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep.
"Sehun... Sehunnie?" Luhan whispered to get some attention. Luhan really did want to talk but Sehun was never around anymore, well not around him that is. He missed Sehun very much and now was the only chance to talk to him. He thought that maybe tonight it was going to be different and that they might get a little closer but Sehun seemed to be asleep. Nevertheless, Luhan still wanted to talk so he just sighed and spoke into the blank room.
"You know, I really miss you. I do but you're never around anymore. I know that you have feelings for ______-sshi but it doesn't mean you don't have me, I'm still here you know. I still care for you. We've grown so distant and it kind of hurts. I want you back Sehunnie. I want you to be mine again but... but- bu- but- you like ________sshi now."
Luhan was at a loss so he slapped his mouth shut. How stupid was it for him to talk aloud to no one in particular. In a way, it brought a bit more pain, because he was reminded of how lonely he felt without Sehun.
"Take me on a date." he heard. Surprised, his body froze but his mind running in circles, wasn't Sehun asleep? "what?" Luhan questioned.
"I said, take me out on a date." Sehun repeated. This time, he had the guts to look Luhan in the eye. He shifted closer and whispered sincerely.
"Luhan hyung. I'm sorry." Luhan was confused. "I'm sorry, it may have looked like I was ignoring you but I was just too blinded by my senses and I was off in my own world, trying to figure myself out. Look hyung, I confessed to _____-noona today." Luhan tensed up a bit.  For real? What does that mean then? For me and for Sehun? Is it over for us? "But unfortunately, noona doesn't feel the same way about me so..." Luhan's eyes widened. Wait, did this mean that I still have a chance of getting Sehun back? "I feel really bad for not spending as much time as you would've wanted with me and sorry for neglecting you so I want to make it up to you. So, will you take me on a date?" This meant that Sehun was giving Luhan another chance and he could sense the warmth coming from his heart. Luhan nodded with a joyful smile (which couldn't really be seen in the dark) and hugged Sehun even tighter.
"I love you, Sehun-ah" That word got to Sehun and it stung. For a second there, Sehun didn't know how to reply but when he thought about it, it was Luhan who has always been there for him, even at his lowest points, at his highest, even now. Luhan has never left Sehun's side and their was nothing compared his mixed feelings he's been feeling. Whatever that little spazz in his emotions could never break his love for Luhan hyung. After ______-noona's rejection, Sehun had thought a lot since walking home with her until now. He had a clear mind and just hearing those words from Luhan and being in his arms reminded his heart that he loved his hyung too.
 

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Author's note: hey guys! I am so sorry for not updating as much >.< Mianhae~ It was a promise I didn't really keep so I'm neomu mianhae~. I hope you enjoyed the update. Ooooh, Sehun has finally figured out his feelings and congratulations for Luhan for getting his little lovey puppy back. So, what is going to happen to you? And where is Kai, what the hell is he doing? And what are the strange noises that you heard during the middle of the night? wooo creepy (and highly relevant might I add)
First, I'd like to thank all this who have voted in the poll and there was a clear winner. I guess, the story will lead its way and it has helped clear my mind for this story. Please comment below and thanks for reading. I hope to be updating well and routinely (as much as possible) but maybe not so the New Year's however but anyway, great seeing you again and thanks so much for reading. See ya~

   

Soooo, it's around midnight and I was waiting all night for SBS Gayo Daejun live event but I got too intrigued into finishing this chapter so I went to find some gifs after I finished and lucky I found these handsome/dashing couples on my dash. They are truly amazing *.*

    

          

how cute is this face?

I was going to comment on how hot Tao looked but also I couldn't help but notice Sehun's sweet smile when his eyes met with TaeYeon's ARGHGHHGGH~

last gif below, I promise

When I said last gif, I didn't say last link~
I was going to end it there but hey, found the link to EXO performing GROWL on SBS Gayo Daejun 2013 so here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8-FoACyOBA

Bye!

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nganbread
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Comments

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cheekylittlechubba #1
Chapter 21: Amazing story authornim!!!

She's one tough cookie ^^

Great job authornim :D :D
go_crazy #2
Chapter 21: Wow! It took me so long to finish reading it, mostly cuz of school, but none the less this story was Jjang! Amazing.
Kitty_Zuni #3
Chapter 21: Omg I loved it seriously! You're a great writer so realistic and I'm glad I even had the opportunity to find this story:) will you be doing a sequel? You should think about it please?:)
sm17eexoticbaby
#4
Chapter 21: this story was amazing<3
im really.. picky when it comes to fanfics
and its hard for me to like one
but this fic just had me hooked since the first chapter, always wondering how kai and "my" relationship would turn out
i really enjoyed reading this(:
daestarlight
#5
Chapter 20: Wow they got back together. It's sweet :) thank you author!! Omg I love the gifs
Kitty_Zuni #6
Chapter 18: Omg I'm so excited for what's about to happen next:)
daestarlight
#7
Chapter 18: Awww Kai where are you? Just get back together
TheAmazingNinja
#8
Chapter 6: I like the story so far!
Kitty_Zuni #9
Chapter 17: Loved it keep going :)