It was a nice day but the atmosphere in the room was grave. It took a while for someone to say anything and in turn for someone to respond. It was a hot summer's day, the light shining through the balcony door and the windows but the silence almost suffocated everyone to death. You were at the end of the large sofa right in front of the TV. Luhan was seated in the single sofa near the left of the room and Kai was sitting just in front of you. Sehun and Chanyeol were lying on the floor facing the laptop screen and silently writing down notes from what they were reading. You had your legs crossed and a book resting on your knees. You had an icecream in one hand and hold onto the page of your book with the other. You kept reading your homework but your mind couldn't process much. You couldn't concentrate when the atmosphere was like this. You sighed and looked around. Kai was seated with his legs hanging off the sofa and his back resting against the back of the sofa. He was texting away, ignorant of his surroundings. You moved back to the left sofa to see Luhan eyeing Sehun every now and then but making it seem so not obvious by occassionally flicking back and forth the book he was reading. 

The two, Sehun and Luhan have been quiet with each other lately. You didn't know why but Sehun had been more clingy and Luhan would rarely be seen by Sehun's side. You asked Sehun if everything was OK and he replied,
"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" You accepted his answer but you questioned if their relationship was really going well. You didn't get the chance to talk to Luhan about it though but you did feel concerned.

Kai suddenly got up from the couch with a fustrated sigh.
"What's wrong?" you asked.
Kai's sigh made everyone turn to him and he felt a bit awkward. Because he was so out of it, he forgot that he was in a room full of people. It took him a delayed second for him to answer.
"Oh, it's nothing. Something's come up so I need to go. I'll be back soon" With that he left out the door in a flash.

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Kai's P.O.V:

I got so angry with her but she left me no choice. I quickly made up an excuse and left the dorm. I ran downstairs and when I reached the doors, as expected, I saw her waiting for me, tapping at her heels and her face poignant and aggravated. She seemed to be impatient. I pushed the door open and she turned to see me. She gave a relaxed smile and trotted over and gave me a hug. It was short but I pushed her off and she frowned.
"What's wrong?" I felt annoyance caving up in me.
"Why does everyone think that there is something wrong?" I groaned. "Nothing's wrong. What do you want?" I asked her. 
 

"Well, I just came here to see you for a second. I missed you. Didn't you miss me too?" I just sighed, of course, well not really but I hid that with a smile.
"Yes, I missed you. But I'm a bit busy right now and you know I can't always see you. I still have my girlfriend and right now she's here with me."
She gave a crooked wrinkle with her nose, showing distaste. 
" I don't get what's so good about her that makes you not want to see me. Why don't you just dump her already? Wouldn't that be easier?"
I shook my head. "I can't."
Her eyes turned dark. "What do you mean you can't? If you truly loved her then why are you secretly going out with me? I thought you said you were tired of her and that's why you're dating me behind her back."

I stood still, my head lowered, trying to think about my feelings. There wasn't much there I realised. My secret girlfriend knows, the boys know, my mates know and even I know what I'm feeling. Suho even talked to me about it and he told me quite literally, the same words the girl standing in front of me had said. Why don't you just tell her the truth and break up with her? It seemed that everyone who I talked to about my relationship keeps telling me to break up with her. 
The thing is though, I don't have the heart to. I know, know so well, that it would break her. I don't want to be responsible for that. 
I can't break up with her. I can never do that despite the fact that, well, it seems that I'm .... falling out of love with her? Is that right? Can there be such thing?
I never really understood my feelings but lately, I noticed that _____ doesn't even mind that I'm not there with her most nights because of practice. She seems so naive and dumb. I've been going out behind her back for months now and she doesn't even suspect a thing. I don't know. I guess she wasn't made for me. I don't get that spark and longing for her like I used to.
I guess that means, I don't really love her anymore. 

It feels as though that we have grown distant of each other. I can never really be comfortable with her. Not anymore. The nights where we share the same bed, the coldness of the still nights linger between us like a giant wall. The dinners we had only by ourselves, they seemed like distant memories now. The times where we felt so free, not a care in the world and no schedules were placed on us so we could do whatever we wanted. Those fun times of laughter and jokes, mucking around and having those sweet moments to ourselves; I felt as though they were just pictures in the back of my mind. They no longer have a meaning, I can't find myself to say that I still feel that love I had towards her like back then. 

Now that we have grown up and schedules, rules and distance had set between us, I rarely ever see her and we never really talk and do all those things like we used to. It seems that it was just a waste of time but I can never, ever break her heart.
"Can we just not talk about this? What do you want from me?" I growled at the girl.
She seemed pissed but contemplated if she should lash out at me. I know what she is like, she doesn't really appreciate it when people yell at her but figuring that she wanted something from me, I saw her clear change in expression and she gave me her best sweet smile. It made me melt the way she was so pretty. I could never really get angry at her but I could never really feel as though I love her like I love _____.... or should I say loved?

"Oppa, I wanted to just talk and have some lunch. You kind of have been ignoring my texts lately and I thought that you were dumping me. I had to meet you in person to make sure that if you did dump someone, it wouldn't be me and over the phone too. I guess that you were busy but I see you're free now, that's why you came down here."

I was a bit dumbfounded at her inference. How did she know if I was busy or not? Oh wells but I am still quite annoyed at her. She texted me a billion times and when I finally read her message, she threatens to call me when I'm with ____. I couldn't take the chance of getting caught. She kept telling me that she wanted to meet me so here I am but just for lunch? How more dramatic can she get? I was starting to get annoyed by her so that's why I've been ignoring her texts but she wouldn't stop texting me.
When the message tone got too annoying, to the point where I wanted to smash my phone but it was too precious and expensive to do so, I grabbed it and read her 1000+ messages. Luckily I replied or she said she would've come up here herself and talked to me then and that meant that she would've barged into our dorm with Luhan, Sehun, Chanyeol and especially _____ there. 

She had her hand grabbing onto my arm and pleading desperately with her doe eyes. I could see the powder for her eyeshadow and foundation flaking off and it looked a bit creepy but all else, she was still pretty, well to me anyway. I thought about it, her request. Should I go have lunch with her? It wouldn't take that long. It would make both of us happy, 1. She would have her small date with me and 2. She wouldn't annoy me anymore after this. I smiled. It was a win-win, it was just lunch and then everything will be --

"Fine," I sighed. "We'll go have lunch." I looked down at the time but then questioned her. "Yah, it's about 4 thirty now, don't you mean dinner?"
She shook her head and grabbed my arm. "Well, I haven't had anything to eat this whole day except for some toast but I knew that you will take me out to eat if I asked, so let's go." She smiled and pulled me away with her.