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Hi, guys! Extra-long chapter up ahead, I hope that's ok.  If I broke it up, it would be two short chapters and I don't think they would have made as much sense. Thanks for reading! - :) L

December 20, 2012

Ilana sat out on the verandah for some time and just stared at the sky above. It was now fully dark and the first star appeared twinkling as she blinked. She was reminded of the game her Mama played with her. “Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might Have the wish I wish tonight.” But what was her wish? To turn back time? To have her parents back? To have left this world along with them? She didn’t know anymore. Her childhood innocence and joy was gone, she could no longer wish for a doll or horsey, or kitten or even a hug from Mama or Papi to make the hurt go away. It was all so confusing to her at the moment. What would she do when these four months were over? She had money and education and yet she didn’t have the one thing she desired most, a family; a Mother and Father. She continued searching the stars for an answer, but none came.

Having only been awake for about five or six hours her eyelids were getting heavy again.  She had been sitting outside for several hours and was beginning to get tired again. Sleeping, she would not have to think; she decided to turn in.  It has only been two days; surely she had 126 more days to worry about her future after the MS Amsterdam?

Sleep, unfortunately, did not come without a price. Nightmares had begun to plague her again. In her sleep, she could see clearly the plane crash that took her parents life. Ilana wasn't there; she had never witnessed it, but her nightmares had re-created the story perfectly and vividly. With cold fear and her heart beating rapidly, she woke upon hearing herself scream. Her breathing was coming up short and knew she was having a panic attack. When she looked at her surroundings, she recognized she was still on the ship. She got up from the bed to reach for a glass of water and after a few minutes, she still shook slightly. All hope of sleeping was now gone, but at least her breathing was returning to normal.  Taking out her NOOK reader, it was time to get lost in Pride and Prejudice’, her favorite book. Reading Jane Austin’s world of assemblies, and balls and happy endings, came alive. Ilana longed for that world; for her, there would be no happy ending, no Fitzwilliam Darcy to realize he loved her despite her family connections. No Prince Charming would come and kiss Sleeping Beauty.  She could only content herself by living through the people of Hertfordshire. A dreamless sleep finally overcame her; it was nearly dawn when she read through the entire book for the millionth time.

HyungJun walked around the Neptune Lounge, taking pictures of the guests there, who were enjoying the amenities. Really, his ulterior motive was to see their ‘mystery lady’, as Young-Saeng, Kyu-Jong and he affectionately referred to Ilana.  “Hyeong hasn't seen the yeoja at all?” HyungJun asked Young-Saeng. Among themselves, they spoke their native Korean or a mixture of English and Korean.

- “Na have worked several different shifts this past week and have not seen the yeoja at all. Each day she calls to order High Tea and asks that we let ourselves in and set it on the table. Neither I nor my staff has seen her.”

- “Na did not see her disembark in Puerto Vallarta or Guatemala. Kyu is concerned thinking she has not been well since the incident on the first day of boarding.”

- “Na only hear from her once a day, she never orders or calls for anything else. From what Na hear, she has not left her room, either. She usually asks fresh linens be brought when the Tea service is delivered and she has any soiled linens stacked neatly by the door for the maid to take when she comes.”

- “Chincha? Wae would someone go to the expense and time of a world cruise, when you’re not going to see the world?”

- “Hokshina, she really is appayo. If Na were Kyu, I would really consider calling on her. Na could knock on her door and make sure everything is fine," YoungSaeng was half joking and half serious. The guys’ curiosity and the girl’s mysterious behavior had made him curious.

 - “Jeongmal tsk, tsk, and then he can report back to us right? Or Saengie Hyeong can play hero?" HyungJun responded with a wry grin. "Ani, we should really just let the yeoja be, she’ll come out eventually.” Or until he thought of a way to approach her.

January 4, 2013

Ilana’s days took on some sort of pattern. Unable to sleep at night due to the nightmares that plagued her, Ilana immersed herself in the world of books until she could no longer distinguish one letter from the next. That could be anywhere between 7 AM to 9 AM. The alarm clock in her room would ring at 5 PM when she would wake and order the ‘High Tea’ service (of which she would rarely consume everything brought to her). Before her order arrived, she would usually soak in the whirlpool tub for an undetermined amount of time and she always emerged to find her food already set out for her and fresh linens placed if she needed them. Two weeks had flown by in her state of oblivion. It was time to cut the last cord that tied her to her old life. Today she would disembark in Fort Lauderdale.

It was now 8 AM; the ship had docked an hour earlier. Though she was extremely tired, she began to get ready to go out. A pair of jeans and a lightweight long sleeve shirt were the first clothes she put her hands on.  Washing her face, she threw her hair back in a low ponytail; after all; she was not going out to impress anyone. Now ready to go, she walked to the lounge to use a computer to determine the nearest location of a mobile phone store.

Finding out there was a Sprint store a few miles from the port; she took that Information with her and looked for the stairs.   She made her way down to the excursion office and looked for the exclusive queue that came with her suite. Young-Sang was there making sure everyone had their required identification to leave the ship. HyungJun was also there, getting his camera supplies ready to go out with a group of guests. It was him who first recognized Ilana and called out to her.

 - “Ilana-ssi! How are you? Have you been well?” he called out to her.

Ilana panicked as she heard her name, who was here that knew her? Her eyes alighted on the photographer who had helped her upon boarding. “Oh no!” She thought. The last thing she wanted was to be engaged in conversation. He came to where she was standing and bowed to her.

 - “You're going out to the town? That’s great! Here, I’ll take your ID and get Young Saeng to give you your pass. That makes it easier to get back on the ship later.” He chattered on excitedly. "Will you be joining the tour group?”

 - “Ah...no, I have an errand to run.” She was now standing in front of said Young-Saeng, who was returning her ID and the pass, all the while giving her his sweetest smile.

 - “I see you are on my floor, and I have yet the privilege to meet you. I’m Heo Young-Saeng.  You may call me Saengie.” He also bowed to her.

 - “Forgive me, I-I must leave now. Thank you." She turned to walk away as fast as possible, but then remember she needed a cab. "Excuse me, are there cabs waiting outside?”  She spoke, straight-faced, trying not to betray any nervousness. 

 - “Yes, there are, enjoy your day, miss.” Ilana walked away quickly, almost running to the line of people who were disembarking.  She just wanted this day over with.

 - “Saengie-ah, what do you think of our mystery girl?” HyungJun turned to Young-Saeng after watching Ilana run off.

 - “Na...can't tell if she's really shy or just acting.  One minute she wouldn’t even look at me as I was speaking to her, but the very next, she gives me this 'look' and is almost even rude.  Na...don't get it...Interesting...”

 - “Na can’t wait to tell Kyu we met her again. Gotta go now, YoungSaeng; I gotta get the Jobumo (grandparents) to the town before they get too restless.”

 - “Yah!”  HyungJun had begun to walk off and turned to see what more YoungSaeng had to say on the subject.  “You guys shouldn’t bother the yeoja. We’re here to meet our guests’ needs, and for whatever reason, she needs some quiet time right now. You did say she would come out eventually, right? It’s fun to get to know the guests and usually they want to get to know us just as much; just be sensitive with this one.”

HyungJun pouted but then smiled at his friend.  “Gwiyowiyo (cute)!”  Giving him a playful pat on the head, knowing he could retaliate, HyungJun ran off laughing.

 - “Ya Maknae!  Just wait until you get back!”  There were too many people waiting, for YoungSaeng to run after him.  He instead, smiled at the next guest in line.

Once in the Sprint Mobil phone store, a sales person helped Ilana choose a newer phone.  "Is this for business or pleasure?  Do you want something that's versatile or simplified?"

Ilana didn’t really know what her future would be after her four months of ship life were over; she needed a phone with a large array of amenities.  “Both;" She said with certainty.  “The more versatile the better.”  Ilana became someone else when she knew her mind; she was no longer the timid creature that couldn’t meet a person in the eyes.

 - “May I suggest the Samsung Galaxy S3 or the Note2?  Both are packed with the latest technology.  The S3 gives you a 1.4 quad core, where the Note, gives you a 1.6 and also comes with a stylus to complete your business needs.  If you lug around your laptop everywhere, this can almost replace it.  With the use of a USB cable, it’s easy to transfer files from the device to your computer.”

Ilana was sold.  Antonio even had an S3 and for her old fashioned Blitz.  It worked fine and she just didn’t need a new phone, until now.  “I’ll take the Note,” she figured the stylus would come in handy if she needed to take notes somewhere.

 - “Excellent, the price drops by half with a new two-year contract.”

 - “I don’t want a contract, I’ll pay full price.”  She didn’t need anything tracing her back to this place even if they’d be leaving again, tonight.

 - “Yes, Miss.  Right this way and I’ll ring you up,” he was surprised at the idea of someone paying $700 for a phone but tried to hide it.

Ilana handed over the card to her personal business account.  Only ia and the account payables department new about it; she should not have to worry about Juan Carlos tracing her.  “Would you be able to transfer my contacts to the new phone?”  Ilana asked.

 - “Yes, we would need to charge it as well.  It would take about an hour.”

 - “I understand, I'll wait.”

The phone was completely different than her old one and used the wait time to play with the demo.  When her phone was ready, she was confident enough to make phone calls, text and use some of the pre-loaded apps.  Knowing her brother would be worried, Ilana remembered seeing a grassy area on the ride from the ship.  Using her new phone to navigate there, she walked.  It took her about an hour to walk (being out of shape), but she wasn’t in any hurry to return to the ship; curfew wasn’t until 10 PM.  She found a spot where a tree provided a small bit of shade and began to text her brother.  “Kike, this is my new phone #.”  She’d requested a Florida phone number; most likely she’d take up residence in the ‘sunshine state’.  It wasn’t like she had anywhere else to go.  “I’m alright. Sorry if I worried you.” She signed it “Manita” and hit send. Manita was his pet name for her since they weren’t really brother and sister or family, hermanita (little sister) had been shortened to just Manita’. Leaning back against the tree, she left the phone on her lap and closed her eyes with a sigh.  It was a beautifully, nonhumid, eighty-degree day in Ft. Lauderdale but Ilana was cold.  She let the warm rays of sun that escaped through the tree branches above, cover her.

Enjoying the warmth, Ilana had dozed off and didn’t know how long she'd remained seated under the tree until a sound woke her up.  A tune was coming from somewhere and she opened her eyes to look around.  The noise was coming from somewhere in her direct proximity, but couldn’t place where it came from. It stopped suddenly, making Ilana sit up in curiosity when it started up again. Resting a hand on her lap, it felt the phone and realized that was where the sound was coming from.  It was her brother calling her back.

 - “Hello?

- "Chica (Girl)! Sabes que eh estado increíblemente preocupado (Do you know I've been incredibly worried)! Nana y Juan Carlos me han estado llamando sin parar (Nana and Juan Carlos have been calling me nonstop)! No se te ocurrió llamarme (Did it not occur to you to call me)?”

 - "I’m sorry, Kike,” Ilana softly spoke into the phone. She could tell he had been worried, his normally perfect cultured Spanish, had lapsed back into his native Boricua accent. She was on the verge of tears, thinking how selfish she’d been in not giving him notice of her plans. But at the time even she didn’t know her own plans.

 - "Perdóname Manita por haberte regañado (I'm sorry for scolding you Manita). Gracias a Dios, que estas bien (Thank God you're okay). Pero en donde estas (But where are you)? Este número es de Florida (This is a Florida number)? Estas aquí (Are you here)?

 - "Si, en Fort Lauderdale (Yes, I'm Ft. Lauderdale), viajaré por crucero y no regresare hasta dentro de cuatro meses (I'm traveling on a cruise and won't be back for another 4 months).” She prepared herself for another onslaught of scolding. But all she heard was laughing on the other end of the line.

 - “Ay niña, solo a ti se te ocurre (only you would think of something like this). Estoy en casa, en Miami (I'm home, in Miami), si quieres, dime la dirección y voy por ti (if you want, give me your location and I'll pick you up).”

 - “No Kike, I need this time to myself, I think. Is that okay? You don’t mind do you?”

 - “Of course not, as long as you’re safe. You know I’m on your side. Do you want to tell me what happened for you to run off like this?” His English was also flawless and the two easily slipped back into it. Ilana went into detail of all that she overheard that night at the hospital.

 - "...And that’s when I decided I couldn’t live like that anymore. He’s my only blood relation and I can’t trust him more than a random stranger on the street. I had to get away.” Tears began to trickle down her face. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you, but I didn’t even know what I was planning until that morning. You won’t tell anyone, right?”

Kike heard her sniffles, making him angry.  Ilana never cried, no matter how upset she was.  "Maldito sea (That jerk), estate segura que no le diré a nadie (rest assured I won't tell anyone). Quieres que le llame a los chicos e iremos hablar seriamente con el (Do you want me to call the guys and we'll go have a serious conversation with him)?"  Juan Carlos and he never did get along when it came to Ilana.

 - “No Kike, no quiero más tener que ver con el (I don't want anything more to do with him). No pierdas tu tiempo (Don't waste your time).”

He rarely kept in touch with his old bandmates, but for her, he’d call up an army and punch the guy who hurt her. He could hear a slight smile in her voice. It would never be a true smile, but he’ll take anything he could get and that filled his heart with joy. She never recovered from the death of her parents, but the second blow came the year of her sixteenth birthday. He was in the band her foster parent’s managed and they were on tour when they got the call from Nana. Ilana had disappeared. A private investigator had been hired; six months later, she was found just outside a hospital drugged and abused.  Ever since then, she never laughed and rarely smiled.  "Manita, cuando regreses vente a estar conmigo un tiempo, si (when you get back, come stay a while with me, yes)? Ya después, te ayudare decidir cómo seguir tu vida nueva (Later, I will help you decide what to do with your new life). Pero, segura que estas bien (But, are you sure you're fine)?”

 - “No empieces tú también (Don't you start too). Estoy bien (I'm fine). Pero, creo que sí, si me gustaría estarme un tiempo contigo (but yes, yes I think I would like to spend some time with you). Regreso a Ft. Lauderdale el 28 de Abril (I return to Ft. Lauderdale on April 28). Estará bien (Will that be ok)? No tienes gira o presentaciones (You don't have any tours or appearances)?

 - "Ninguna (None). Estaré trabajando en mi nuevo álbum (I will be working on my new album). Me puedes ayudar (You can help me). Ilana?"

 - "Hmm?"

 - "Feliz año nuevo (Happy New Year.”

 - "What?! Oh my gosh! Kike! I didn’t even think about it.  I missed spending Christmas with you...and your birthday...!! I’m so sorry!!"  Ilana felt terrible. "Why are you not with your family in Puerto Rico? Is it because of me?”  She knew it was all her fault and she was kicking herself mentally.  It was good that she disappeared; this way she couldn't hurt anyone with her selfishness.

 - “No te preocupes (Don't worry about it), chica!"  He knew she was beating herself up, mentally.  "Disfruta de tu vacación y nos veremos en Abril (enjoy your vacation and we will see each other in April). Quien es tu hermano favorito (Who's your favorite Brother)?”

 - “Kike...,” she rolled her eyes.

 - “No se te olvide (Don't you forget it), ahora corre antes de que te deje el barco (now run along before the ship leaves you). Cuídate (Take care of yourself).” Kike ended the call and they both sighed.  "Como me preocupas (How she worried him)."

 - "I'm so lucky to have you."