August 2013

Thanks to Suzy's remark a few weeks back, Ilana found herself paying careful attention to Dr. Jihoo. Unfortunately, sometimes it was hard to keep a straight face. The urge to burst into a giggling fit was too strong and she'd have to camouflage it with a cough. By this time she was positive he not only thought her clumsy but insane as well.

A few times during those weeks, Suzy would send her a text, such as: "How's your alter ego?" or "How's your twin?" Ilana should've known better than to open Suzy's text other than the safety of her cubicle or the stairwell. Each time, she had no control of the bubbles of laughter that fought to escape .

About a week after the potluck, Ilana had just left a patient’s room, when her phone signaled a text; most likely it was Suzy teasing her again. This time, she was going to let her have it. She went up to the rooftop garden; sitting at her favorite table, she opened the text from Suzy: “Unnie? Keeping out of trouble today? :p

Ilana: You’re in trouble this time dongsaeng.

Suzy: Wae?!! (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Ignoring her friend's cute pout, Ilana sent JungMin a text.

Ilana: JungMin-ah (Ilana couldn't bring herself to call him 'Oppa', not with Suzy using the word for boyfriend.), your yeojachingu is picking on me.

The next text was sent to both Ilana and Suzy.

Jung Min: Suzy-ah, respect your Unnie or you'll be grounded from our date in Victoria.

Suzy: Tattletale, Unnie.  (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ Saranghae.

Ilana: Na do!

Ilana was still grinning to herself when she figured she'd better get back before they reported her missing.

Dr. Jihoo needed a break from work and Dr. Jaejoong with whom he had been working with in regards to a patient. The other doctor was kind-hearted and fun loving, but even with his almost brothers, the F4, he needed time to himself. He walked out of the elevator onto the rooftop and saw his admin walking towards him with a grin.  Ilana's face shown in surprise when she noticed Dr. Jihoo walking casually towards her and slowed her step until the two met in the middle.

- "I-I was on my break," the grin had left Ilana's face and surprise took over. She stuttered the first thing that came to her head.

- "Gwenchanayo," he cracked a smile. "I'm not your boss. Just don't tell anyone I'm here. I need a break too, arraso?"

- "O-okay, I-think?" She still pretended not to know, what he said and walked away.

- "Kansamnida!" He called to her before the elevator door closed and was left grinning to himself.

Ilana closed her eyes in the elevator and let out a sigh. Why did he make her so nervous?

August 31, 2013

Between work, Suzy’s mischief, and trying to avoid Dr. Jihoo and Dr. Jaejoong, time passed quickly. Before she knew it two weeks had passed and it was time for her 'training wheels' to come off. Nana, Kike, and Brandon would be leaving on Sunday. Nana had been continuing to stock her refrigerator and freezer as if Ilana was expecting to hibernate for the winter.

Their last Saturday together was spent picnicking at central park. Nana shooed her kids out the door with food for at least twice as many people and instructed them not to come back before dinner time. Kike and Brendon kicked around a soccer ball with some kids and then invited them to share the picnic with them. The kids were extremely excited. Ilana looked on fondly, carving out memories in her brain as well as taking a few physical pictures.

Everyone had more than satisfied themselves with lunch. The kids thanked them graciously and scampered off to find other amusements. Packing up their leftovers, Brendon took it back to the car. Kike and Ilana wandered around the lakeside taking in the scenery. It was so different from California but not unpleasant. It had its own unique beauty. Being a lovely day, Ilana determined not to be sad; this was her choice.  Were there not phones, planes, trains, and automobiles to get her to California and Florida whenever she wanted?  Ilana smiled as she remembered the train ride to New York.

- "De que te sonríes (Why are you smiling)?" Kike asked her, breaking into her thoughts.

- "Nothing, I was just thinking, how lucky I am that you became my brother."

- "Don't ever forget it."

- "I won't"

- "Manita," suddenly his expression became serious. "Do you want me to move to New York?"

- "No,” she said firmly and without hesitation. "Your management company and the foundation are in Miami, you're not uprooting your life for me."

- "And what do you call moving to New York for over a month and being dragged on a cruise to Alaska?" He grinned.

- "That's different!" She laughed.

- "That's different," he mocked. "Ha!"

Brendon had caught up with the laughing pair.  "Hey, let's go on the carousel before we go back," he suggested. This suggestion was well met and they hurried off.

-  "I'm surprised Nana didn't pack your horse," Brendon commented as they drove back to the apartment.

- "No, just my saddle," she smiled. "Why would I need a saddle in the city?"

- "They have a very nice stable at the park where you can ride."

- "Mmm, continue to exercise Basilico when you get home." Ilana was intrigued but not interested. She had her own horse which she'd ride again one day.

- "With all due respect, Miss, can't the ranch hand do it?" He rode cars, motorbikes and anything else with wheels, but he wasn't into horses and Ilana's horse knew it.

- "Nope;" although, she knew the ranch hand would gladly exercise her horse, he had the other horses to take care of.  Basilico was used to a more personal touch which despite Brendon's protests she knew he would give.

When the picnickers returned to the apartment they found Nana in the patio getting a fire started in the fire pit.

- "Nana, que haces (what are you doing)?"

"Comeremos aquí - afuera esta noche (We'll eat out here tonight)."

- "Don't you remember, Miss?"

- "Remember what?"

- "Your parents would invite the company executives and their family over for barbecue and music." Ilana thought for a while and slowly the repressed memory returned.

- "Your dad played the guitar,” she smiled at the memory, even though she blinked back tears.  Nana enveloped her in a hug.

Nana had outdone herself as usual with grilled beef, chicken, veggies, and tortillas, green and red salsas. They ate, laughed, and recalled happy but painful memories. Brendon brought out the guitar after dinner and began to play some of Nana's favorite flamenco music. Soon, Nana began to sing along and despite her sixty plus years of age, her voice was still strong and true. Kike got up and began to dance with Nana in his usual 'don't hold back' style. Ilana smiled as tears fell down her face. How could she have shut the music out for so long; the passion of her parents’? Ilana clapped in time and laughed, filling her heart with the sounds of music and the sight of her loved ones. Something she thought, up until now, she didn't need.

Jihoo had come home after a long day at work. It usually wasn't the patients that exhausted him, it was the mounds of paperwork and other responsibilities that came with the title of Ward head doctor. The weather was still nice outside and decided to sit and enjoy some classical music out on his patio. This was a routine that always helped him to relax but when he opened the door to the patio he heard the sound of a Spanish guitar not that far away. He sat down and began to enjoy the music, tapping his foot along with the rhythm of the guitar. Soon, he found himself smiling at the sound of an Ajumma singing or perhaps a Halmeoni. The apartment building did house every type of family dynamic and they all had one thing in common. At least one person in each apartment worked for the hospital.  Allowing himself to relax to the music, he couldn't quite tell who the voice belonged to since they were two or three patios away. He sat there with his eyes closed, listening and mentally strumming his own guitar, which was stored in its case next to the violin and piano. His music room shared space with his office; he rarely touched his instruments now. He brought them out only on occasion; when Harabeoji visited and that was not often. He chose to be 7,000 miles from home and didn't regret it. Well, perhaps sometimes he did. Glancing over in the direction of the music, he grinned; they were all dancing.

It was getting late and Nana called for one more song before calling it a night. She wanted to leave this gift to her 'niña'. A very special memory, now that God had begun to heal the old wounds in her heart. The song began and Nana, who was surprisingly strong, pulled Ilana up to dance.

- "No sé como (I don’t know how), Nana!" She protested.

- "Mira (Look), sigue nuestros pasos (follow our steps)."

There were so many things about her parents she never knew or didn't remember. Like this, her mama's favorite music, which wasn't classical like she always thought. Her grandfather had made her Mom be classically trained but occasionally would manage to sneak out to see a flamenco performance.

Ilana laughed and squealed as she tried to follow Nana and Kike's steps and somehow managed not to fall.  Brendon finished playing and Ilana sat to catch her breath and drink some water. Kike sat beside her and she playfully leaned her head on his shoulder in mock exhaustion.

- "Niña (Child), vete descansar (go rest); yo recojo (I’ll pick up), ya son las nueve (it’s after nine)."

Nana, - "deja ayudarte (let me help you), tienes que levantarte igual de temprano (you’re getting up just as early)."

("Anda- Go on), no discutes (don’t argue). Joven (Young) Enrique, por favor hazla que se vaya descansar y Brendon tú también (please make her go and rest; you too Brendon)."

- "Si (yes), Nana," they knew there was no arguing with the woman. Everyone retired into the apartment. The guys would be sleeping there, tomorrow Brendon and Nana had an early morning flight back home and Kike would follow after lunch. Ilana would be sleeping in the guest room with Nana; Kike was taking Ilana's room, and Brendon the sofa bed.

What none of Nana's charges knew was that she had seen a lone figure several apartments away. It seemed he had been enjoying their music. For some reason, she felt a strong urging to speak with that lone figure. "Dios mío (My Lord)," she prayed, "Ilumíname el camino por cual me quieres llevar (Shine a light on the path you want to take me)." With that, she began to pile food on several paper plates.

September 1, 2013

The next morning everyone awoke to Nana's pancake breakfast.  Nana! No "quedamos que íbamos desayunar afuera esta mañana (didn’t we agree to eat out this morning)?"  The last thing Ilana wanted was for her Nana to tire out before her flight.

- "Mi vida, es mi última oportunidad para mimarte (My dear, this is my last opportunity to spoil you), como no podría serlo (how can I not)?

- "Nana…," Ilana began to get teary eyed.

- "Ya, chiquita preciosa (there my precious little one), gracias a tus ángeles guardianes has aprendido a vivir de nuevohanks to (tyour guardian angels you’ve learned to live again). Solo me queda esperar que por fin aceptes el amor de Dios y también verte vestida de novia (All I need to wait for is to see you accept God’s love and see you dressed as a bride)."

- "Nana, ninguno de esos días llegaran (neither of those two days will ever come), lo siento (I’m sorry)." Ilana turned away before she truly began to cry.

Nana and Brendon boarded the plane after a tearful farewell. This was much harder than Ilana had anticipated. When she left home eight months prior, she had purposed in her heart that only alone would she ever be happy. Ilana was slowly finding out otherwise and it frightened her. Not knowing how to stop it and not knowing how to embrace it either, she was stuck somewhere in the middle without knowing which way was up. In her moment of weakness, she sobbed out her confused heart. Kike was at a loss; for aside from yelling at him when he took her to the foundation, he had never seen her break like this.

He held her as she sobbed and figured it would be best to get some lunch. Good food, Nana always told them, made everything better.  "I'm getting hungry, let's get some food before my flight." He hoped Nana was right.

- "I'm sorry, Kike," Ilana was still sniffling. "I don't know what came over me."

- "It's been a long morning for you, and you barely touched your breakfast. I get emotional when I'm hungry, too." His stomach growled on cue, making them both laugh.

Ilana didn't head straight home after Kike's flight left. She took the cab to Central Park and wandered around with her thoughts.

- "I'm going to ask you again," Kike had said while they ate. "Do you want me to move to New York?"

- "I wouldn't have gone through the time, trouble, and expense of being here if this wasn't what I truly wanted." She responded.

- "I know, Manita, but I'll be traveling soon and won't be able to come visit until maybe your birthday?

- "We only agreed I'd stay with you for a little while until I figured out what to do with my life."

- "I know." He sighed. "Be good or I really will sell you to the highest bidder."

- "Ha! Try it and die!" She mocked him. He squeezed her tight before going through the gate back to his life in Miami and leaving her to move forward with her own life.

As Ilana walked around the park, she knew she had no regrets about her decision.  It was getting chilly, at least for her, the mornings and evening temperatures were starting to drop into the sixties. The sky was still and colored a pretty baby blue dotted with fluffy white clouds. After capturing a picture, she sat on a bench to tweet. "We may be scattered here and there but isn't it the same sky that covers us; the same earth that we walk on? There should be no tears for we're always together under the same blue blanket we call the sky. Saranghae." She smiled and set out for the mile walk home.

Ilana returned to her apartment and went out on the patio. Grabbing a blanket and building a fire in the pit, she sat back with her phone for music and enjoyed the warmth of the fire and the sunset. Soon, responses to her Twitter post began to show up.

Suzy: Saranghae, Unnie.

KyuJong: It’s ok to cry, Ilana-ssi, ask Maknae, he cries for everything.

HyungJun: Not everything!

JungMin: Yes Maknae, everything! Fighting Ilana-ssi! You know you can call these guys anytime you need to talk or cry.

Ilana was entertaining herself with her friend’s comments. Even if she wanted to cry, they made her laugh.

Ilana: Jung Min-ssi, what if I want to call you to talk or cry? I noticed you said ‘these’ and not ‘us’.

YoungSaeng: JungMin is more of an ‘I got your back’ kind of guy. He turns to mush if you cry on him.

JungMin: Ilana-ssi, I know ‘y Charisma’ is irresistible, but I should warn you, I have a girlfriend at the moment. If you are happy to wait, you could be next.

Ilana was laughing out loud at each comment by now.

Suzy: JungMin Oppa, let me warn you, I’m quite handy with the bow and arrow, staff, and I’m higher than you in Taekwondo.

HyungJun: Waaaauuu! Hyeoung, what do you have to say about that?

JungMin: Saranghae, jjagi. I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Mianhae, Ilana-ssi, I don’t think our relationship will work out. But you’re welcome to any of my Hyeong’s and the Maknae.

HyungJun: Pick Me!! Pick Me!!

Ilana: Omo! You guys are too much! Jung Min-ssi, don’t be putting ideas in their heads. Kike is already threatening to sell me to the highest bidder. I don’t need you and him tag teaming me.

Jung Min: Auction is now officially open.

Ilana: Andwaeyo! Suzy-ah, help!

Suzy: Mianhaeyo, Unnie, I was too busy laughing. Who do you want me to beat up first?

Ilana: Gwenchana, I was laughing too. Gomawo guys, I was feeling a little frazzled at everyone’s departure today. But thanks to you, I can laugh and smile and feel comforted by knowing you guys are there for me when I need you. I’m going to sign off and listen to music while I watch the sunset. K? Jal-Ja.

HyungJun: Saranghae, Princess. Send me a picture of the sunset.

YoungSaeng: Always!

KyuJong: Anytime.

Ilana signed off and continued giggling to herself. She was very grateful to have met them and have them in her life. She was here because they first believed in her. “Saranghae,” she spoke this out loud as if her message would be carried by the ocean breeze to the MS Amsterdam and to the ear of each of her friends.

Short, but important chapter. Hope you guys liked it. This is a do or die moment for Ilana. She's finally on her own. The saying goes: be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.