Chapter 7!

 

“Hyo, wake up, hey princess, get up!”

 

And I was awoken by Yuri’s voice like a resounding alarm. Her early morning shrieks weren’t that welcoming but what can my poor self ever do… when I insisted that she should join me here for the night; something that she never really intended… of course, her loving boyfriend was here, too.

 

“Five more minutes, Yuri… please…”

 

“No more 5 minutes! Get up!” She said as she remove my blanket

 

“Okay, okay… Geez! wait, what time is it anyway?”

 

“It’s almost 6 Hyo! And we have to be early because we still need to go somewhere else”

 

“Where?? And why so early? Can’t we just go after breakfast?

 

“No! Don’t be kill joy. And we’re going to eat our breakfast at the beach. So hurry!”

 

“Huh? What beach? In this time of the day?”

 

“Yah! Don’t you remember? Jungmun Beach! So get up now! Faster!”

 

I had no choice but to give in. We would be spending a day and a night in that beach. We reached the port area and we rode the same boat that we hired yesterday. The waves were stronger. I never knew that the ride to Jungmun would still be… scary… it wasn’t my first time to do this but… my fear seemed to be coming back… making me remember things…

 

“Hyo, are you okay?”

 

I gave Yuri a nod and tried to regain my composure by closing my eyes and tightening my grip. I could hear the waves splashing… rumbling… the feel of the water as it touches my face… as the boat moved… I hate to say this but my insides were squirming… with fear…

 

“God… please help me…” I muttered

 

“Hyoyeon-sshi… it’s only a wave, don’t worry…” It was Junho’s voice who awoken me this time. He and Yuri switched places and now, he is sitting right beside me.

 

I wasn’t able to speak… I just smiled at him.

 

He smiled back.

 

It was probably the scariest one and a half hour boat ride that I experienced. I could still feel my weakened knees. The heaving of my chest, the nervousness…

 

“Here, take my hand. We’re going down now.”

 

I took his offer and he carefully assisted me as I went down the flight of stairs that bridged the gap between the clear waters and the powdery sand of Jungmun. I was here before. When Yuri told me that we had this beach for ourselves… when papa talked to the owner to accommodate us for this trip… despite my fear… something in me wanted to be here; something in me wanted to reconnect.

 

We were greeted by uncle Jaesuk, the owner.

 

“Hyo, it’s been awhile. How’s Sukjin?”

 

“As usual uncle, he’s still busy with work. By the way, thank you for letting us stay here again, it looks like Yuri troubled you again until she gets a yes from you. haha”

 

“Yah! I did not troubled him ok, right uncle?”

 

“Hahaha, you two are still the same, it’s nothing, but same routine okay?! You girls know that we only have limited rooms here. Hmmm… it’s been so long since the last time you came here Hyo and you’re even with----”

 

Uncle Jaesuk was obviously looking for someone… Yuri butted in.

 

“Uhm… uncle, this is our friends. Nickhun and Junho.”

 

“Hello sir.”

 

“Oh, hi! Good thing you brought some guys here, now it will be easier for you girls to set up the tent later. And by the way, Hyo, I’m really glad to see you here; I thought that you will never going to visit here again after what happened to ---”

 

“Uhm uncle, you know you’re really getting more handsome nowadays! Is the food ready? Actually, we haven’t eaten our breakfast yet. So let’s go! I’ll help you prepare it.”

 

Yuri… she might be the sometimes-annoying-bestfriend… but she surely is a lifesaver.

 

After a scrumptious breakfast, Yuri and Nickhun obviously frolicked in the sand. From a distance, I could see how they enjoyed themselves. While me? I decided to lay my sarong, sit and simply appreciate the beauty in front me.

 

“Want some?”

 

Junho with two tall glasses of pineapple juice.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“So, don’t you have any plan to join those two?”

 

I shook my head while having a sip.

 

“Nah, maybe later. How about you? If you worry about me, then don’t. Go, join them.”

 

 I prodded.

 

“Nope. I’m good here...”

 

“Ok then.”

 

“Uhm… Hyoyeon-sshi … Can I ask you a question?”

 

“You’re already asking.”

 

“Oh yeah right! Uhm… I mean, for how many times have been here in this place? When Nickhun told me about this trip, I thought, it’s your first time too.”

 

I was waiting for her answer for I knew that when we arrived… something about the man’s questioning bothered her.

 

When I saw how scared she was back in the boat… upon seeing her cower in fear… I can’t help but to ask, to wonder… what really happened here, Hyoyeon?

 

I was deep in these thoughts when she finally spoke,

 

“Know what, I think I would love to take a dip. Wanna join me?”         

 

I then saw her stood up, as she headed for the waters, she was flashing this smile… a smile that was uncertain… unreal.

 

Jungmun could be likened to paradise. The long stretch of white sand… the crystal clear waters… everything about it speaks of nature and I could not help but be amazed as the hours passed.

 

“Guys, we’ll go first okay. We’re hungry.”

 

“What’s new anyway? Yuri, haha!”

 

“Whatever!”

 

Seeing Hyoyeon smile and have fun like this… with me… was something that I really looked forward to in this trip. She saw me staring at her again and I felt shy… I suddenly looked down but then I was greeted by a splash.

 

“What the! So you like it that way huh? haha!”

 

“Wait, wait!! Hahaha, that’s cheating! haha! Junho-sshi!!!”

 

“You did it first, haha!”

 

Her laugh was something that I would not get tired of hearing all day. And as I fight back splashing her with more water… the more real her laughs became.

 

Hyoyeon was no longer a stranger. And thank God for Yuri who invited me to come here.

 

“Hey, Khunnie, look at your friend, he’s so obvious & flirty. Hahaha!”

 

“Babe, they’re just playing around, and you already called that flirty?”

 

“In fairness, they look good together.”

 

“You know what babe, just leave them alone. Here eat this!” Then shove a strawberry in Yuri's mouth

 

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When you are spending time with beautiful people and you happen to be in an equally beautiful island, hours pass by swiftly.

 

After taking a dip and eating lunch, I readily looked for Hyoyeon. I found her in the gazebo, resting in the hammock. I tried not to wake her from her slumber… I moved closer and took the chance to look at her…. it’s as if her beauty was there for my taking…

 

Her well-shaped brows, her cute nose, her full lips… everything about Hyoyeon makes me shiver with awe. The first time I saw her… in Yuri’s party, I knew that she was no ordinary girl. The second time, when I saw her in the veranda… the more I became interested and the third time, when I called her… when I saw her smiled at me and when she regarded my existence as a friend… I felt blessed.

 

“I might melt with that you know.”

 

“Huh? Uhm… did I woke you up?”

 

“Hmmm… nope but maybe you will.”

 

I furrowed my brow while she straightened up and put her sarong on.

 

“’Coz I’m not really sleeping in the first place, and if ever that I’m sleeping, I’m pretty sure that I’m already awake because of how near your face was.”

 

“Hahaha, sorry… I was just…”

 

“What?”

 

“Well… uhm…”

 

“Aigoo Junho-sshi. You should be really thankful that I find you really nice, 'coz if not, I will really think that you’re a ert, haha!”

 

“Hey, I’m not a okay… At least not at the moment! haha!”

 

“Crazy!, haha!”

 

We watched the sunset. Uncle Jaesuk also helped us gather wood for the bonfire. As the night sets in, the once blue sea became pitch black… and the only thing that we could hear were the waves…. rushing… splashing… raging.

 

“Are you guys sure that you’re alright here?”

 

“Of course, uncle, we’re good here. Thanks again!”

 

“Okay then, I’ll get going now; if ever you need something else don’t be shy to ask Taejun okay?”

 

We played truth or dare and for several times, Yuri had been trying to make me kiss Junho. The guy was just smiling and playing along… but to Yuri’s dismay, I never did any of her demands.

 

When I felt how he looked at me in the gazebo… while I was resting in the hammock… I knew that he was checking me out.

 

Junho… he was nice, too nice in fact. But I could not get myself to open up… surely, we had conversations. I enjoyed his company. He was easy to get along with and liking him was not hard. But… yes… there will always be that string of buts.

 

Seeing how they were enjoying… I stood up and decided to take a stroll… walk a little. I had with me this small lamp. I knew that if uncle Jaesuk found out, he would immediately prevent me from going… but I never intended to go that far… I was simply a few meters away from them…

 

“Oh! Why did you left?”

 

It’s Junho.

 

“Ah… nothing… I just wanted to be here.”

 

“Ok then. By the way, I never thought Yuri can be a crazy chick… Hahaha!” He said as he sit next to me.

 

“You know her. She wanted to be our cupid, our matchmaker. That’s why she keeps on picking on us in that game.”

 

“Hahaha, well…”

 

“Tsk! If I know, you enjoyed her teasing! Hahaha!”

 

===============

 

This place… I know that it was very memorable for Hyoyeon. I can feel it.

 

“Hyoyeon-sshi?”

 

“Hmmm.”

 

“Why didn’t you answer my question earlier? This wasn’t your first time here, am I right?”

 

She kept silent. I asked another question.

 

“Does Uncle Jaesuk knows--”

 

“It’s Eunhyuk…"

 

"Huh?"

 

"He’s the one I came here with.”

 

It was my time to keep quiet and listen.

 

She continued,

 

“He was the one I was waiting for Junho-sshi.”

 

“What happened…?”

 

“He left.”

 

“Ah… now I get it. Maybe he left because he was in the States? Is he living there? What does he do? I mean, when he will come back -"

 

“He is not coming back, Junho-sshi.”

 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

 

“He is not coming back… because… he died… two years ago.”

 

Words just back out in my mouth when Hyoyeon said that. I don’t even know what to do when I saw the forming tears in her eyes. I just stayed there motionless… beside her… when she said,

 

“Sometimes, you are waiting for someone who has no intentions of coming back. Sometimes, you are waiting for things that you knew would never be real… again.”

 

“Hyoyeon-sshi--”

 

“When you asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend? I told you I was waiting for someone… I told you that even though I know that it’s already impossible for him to come back…”

 

“I--- I don’t know what to say…”

 

“I wanted to forget… to move on… to be happy… but I can’t … and I don’t know why… god… and this place… yes it’s beautiful… but now…. now that I’m here again… even though you guys are here with me… everything just seems so painful… and I hate myself coz’ I’m still waiting for nothing! you know! NOTHING!”

 

And she got up & ran away.

 

“HYOYEON-SSHI!!!”

 

I followed her as she keeps on running. I could sense that Yuri and Nickhun heard her screaming too but I motioned them to stop as if telling that I would handle everything.

 

“Hyoyeon-sshi! Wait!”

 

“Please, leave me alone!”

 

“No!”

 

“Go away! I don’t want you here! Please!”

 

She was crying heavily and all these emotions that she managed to let out were too much for her. She finally stopped and slumped to the ground. I stooped down and pulled her in my arms.

 

During that time, I encouraged her to cry… to weep… I wanted her to… all these years of unspoken grief… of self-inflicted pain… she needed to escape… to let it all out… to let go…

 

“It’s okay, cry it out… just cry it out…”

 

Pain is pain. Hearing what she said… knowing that she had been dealing with her lover’s death… I understood why… Why is she like this…

 

She continued crying… and I just cradled her in my arms… devoid of any malice… of any personal intent… ‘coz what’s important now… is her own feelings… all the painful emotions that she’s been hiding inside of her… must now be released.

 

Earlier, she was crying like a baby… she was even wailing and I had let her do such. But exhaustion came and now, she was simply quiet… sobbing,

 

“Hyoyeon-sshi… I think we should go back… would that be okay?”

 

She never said a word but instead nodded. Wiping her tears, I sheepishly smiled at her, took her hand and led the way.

 

When we returned, Yuri and Nickhun were already asleep. I asked her if she wanted to sleep but she resisted. We just agreed to sit by the fire…

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to rest?”

 

No answer.

 

“I could stay in the cottage… go inside… it’s getting late…”

 

Still, no reply.

 

I continued,

 

“You know, when I had my first heartache, I remember what my mom said to me, she said that… when you loved, and when you got hurt… it’s really hard indeed to forget… if the person you love left you… you cannot force yourself to be happy if you still can’t get over it. It might take one, two, or three years before you eventually forget all the pain… but there are some people who cannot really forget it no matter how long & how hard they try... but you know what Hyoyeon-sshi, just because you don’t feel any pain… it does not mean that you already forgot what happened… and also, not because you forgot about it, it does not mean that there is so pain anymore…”

 

She looked at me, “So…what are you trying to say?”

 

“What I’m trying to say is that, you can never escape both… be it pain or love… they are completely different feelings but you can never get away from each one of them and the only thing that you can do… is to accept it. People think that when they feel lesser pain, they thought they’re finally free… when in fact, they are free ‘coz they chose to be free. They chose to live accepting that there will always be days when they will still remember the hurt… and surprisingly, they end up feeling better… they find themselves moving on… letting go… you don’t have to be pain-free to move on. People who got their hearts broken and mended them have not really escaped the pain… they simply continued living with it… but they never sulked… they found ways to be happy… so that they could open their heart and accept the love that other people are willing to give them.”

 

Her eyes brimmed with tears… I just hope I said the right things… and then, she held my hand and softly smiled…

 

“Thank you…”

 

“You’re welcome, Hyoyeon-sshi… you’re always welcome.”

 

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Junho did not only comfort me tonight… as he helped me to get up and even assisted me until I reached the tent… that’s when I realize that maybe, being here… with my mind trying to reconnect… to forgive the past… had a purpose… maybe, I wasn’t really waiting in vain… maybe, me being here… with Junho… only meant- moving on and getting my heart back.

 

 

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