Chapter 21!

“Hyo? Where did you go today? I mean, earlier?”

I could sense her discomfort after asking her the question.

“Uhm… My dad gave me lots of work today. You know, additional reports. Why? Is this about the movie? I’m really sorry, I promise, next time, no more cancelled dates. Okay?”

She lied. And if before, a lying girlfriend meant calling it quits. Now… I could not even get myself to be angry… to stay mad or anything… not with her, never.

Lies… regardless of how simple or intentional… once you decide to not tell the truth, a lie is still a lie.

The first time I saw Hyukjae… with her… everything’s uncertain, about us.

I’m hurt… my ego was bruised. I thought… “Why didn’t she tell me that she went with him? Why does she need to make an excuse?”

I’m really confused, I don’t know what I should think especially when I saw him again at the party…

I was holding the small of her back when the guy approached. He looked really familiar that’s why I ask Hyoyeon… but as he moved towards us… upon seeing how he looked at her… I could not move….

 “It’s been nice going there with you, Hyo. Hopefully, next time, you can come with me again. You can bring your friend if you want. So, I’ll go ahead now. Haven’t seen uncle and aunt yet.”

As the guy walked off… my mind was contending the inner urge to get out of the place and leave Hyoyeon alone. The guy was a total nob head… she looked at me… but I was torn… thinking… confused… even I myself, don’t know what I should feel.

Lies… even the simplest lies can ruin relationships. Hyoyeon knows that.

And to discover that she lied behind my back, my ego was bruised again.

But the thing is- I love her… I really love Hyoyeon… but my mind is totally betraying me.

And the worst part is- I can’t even stay mad at her… I can’t even say what I really feel about what happened.

I don’t want her to think that I can’t understand her because I can…

I don’t want her to think that I don’t trust her… but, do I really have trust in her?

Did I make the right decision to be with her?

Hyoyeon needs me. She wanted to be with me. She asked for us to be together. But as expected, my mind was again reeling those scenes… tricking, confusing my thoughts.

My slumber was suddenly interrupted by the resounding alarm; I opened my eyes and lazily move to reach for my phone.

Good morning, baby! Rise and shine! Love you, mwah! <3  - Hyo

I smiled. But remembering of how I spent the last night drinking… thinking… worrying… the smile faded easily.

I stood up and went for the bathroom. I was in front of the sink… looking straight at my own reflection.

God, Junho… you look terrible… you looked like a panda. So, I thought,

Opening the faucet, I splashed my face with water.

Hyoyeon spent the night in Yuri’s house. I had nothing to do. I could not speak with Nickhun knowing that he would eventually tell Yuri everything.

Junho, Junho, Junho… you doubt your girlfriend and yet, who are you with last night?

It was my conscience… setting in.

Aren’t you like her… keeping secrets? Now get your act together and be mature, Junho. Don’t you dare try doing what you just did. You just might regret it later.

I sighed heavily. With water still trickling down my face… I looked across and saw me… a confused and bewildered me.

==============

It’s been a week and I wanted to forget everything. Hyukjae… the trip down memory lane… my indiscretion… I practically wished for them to vanish. I no longer want to take part in any of it.

“Baby, I need help.”

Hyo… she wanted to do some general cleaning today. I came to help out. She was standing carrying this box full of trinkets and what not.

“What is all of that baby?” I approached with a smile… recently, I was trying to act normal… I don’t want her to know what I’m thinking… I don’t want her to get hurt…

“Nothing babe, just some old stuff in my room. I don’t need them anymore.”

“Really? Did you check? You might see things that you really don’t want to throw.”

“These are just useless items baby. And it’s just been sitting in my closet for a long time.”

“Let’s check first baby, here, give me that.”

“Uhm, Okay. do you want some juice?”

“I want some kiss, haha!”

“Aigoo, your ways Mr. Lee, haha! Okay I’ll leave you here now, I told you just throw it baby.”

“Hahaha, okay baby, just give me an orange juice, with lots of ice please.”

She went to the kitchen while I took the box with me in the living room. I sat on the couch and opened the box to fully reveal its contents.

Hmmm…what do we have here…

Greeting cards from her best friend… one even reads,

“Hyo, you know that I love you right so please, just give me the cutie guy in the gym please… love you and happy birthday, Yuri.”

I smiled and shook my head while reading it…

“Baby, are you sure, you’re just going to throw all of this? There are so many cards here. You might miss Yuri’s letter to you, haha!”

I took another item…this time, a CD…

Christina Aguilera? Hmm, it seems like the old album of hers…

I then laid it on the table as I continued rummaging,

“Baby, I think you need to keep the cards and letters. It’s such a waste if you throw them.”

But then something caught my attention…

 A scrapbook… I started turning the pages and inside, I saw various pictures… keepsakes from old movie tickets to sticky notes.

There was one picture of Hyoyeon on a swing… all dolled up with her dad behind her.

Another image of Hyoyeon and her brother on her seventh birthday…

I scanned and opened the last few pages when another image gained my interest… Hyoyeon…with…

“Baby, here’s your juice. Sorry, I didn’t know that I don’t have orange juice, so I just made some iced tea.”

I was getting mad… seeing that picture… I could feel blood rushing up my head.

Why didn’t I bother to ask her… Why did I just thought of that now… I should have asked.

“Baby….” She moved and I looked up…

“Baby, I can explain… it’s not what you think… he--”

“WHAT?”

“You just don't understand me…”

“Then make me understand, Hyo!”

I was angry… infuriating. I wanted reasons but I guess, with what I was harboring these past days… those feelings that I don’t like to feel… just explode inside of me.

She was just there standing… looking at me but I had enough of these lies. I continued yelling,

“I really never gonna understand Hyo! ‘Coz you’re not even telling me the truth! I already let it pass coz I thought that there is no reason for me to have doubts in your relationship with him. But this? What’s this?!”

I ripped the page and got hold of the picture.

I moved towards her, “This is Hyukjae right?” The insecurities in my head were taking over… the confusion wanted me to ask… I need to know.

“No, listen to me. It wasn’t him.”

“Are you kidding me? Are you in’ kidding me?”

She was on the verge of crying, I can tell but right now, nothing could ever sooth my anger away.

“They’re brothers. They’re twins. It’s not Hyukjae, Junho.”

This is one downside of loving… loving someone too much. This is what happens when you thought that you are ready… to commit when in fact, you are simply offering yourself… to be stabbed.

I kept silent. I don’t even know what to say anymore…

I faced Hyoyeon… looked at her intently… and despite that I never wanted seeing her cry… I had to do what I had to do.

I had to be angry… acknowledge that I am not loving what I’m currently feeling… that I was beginning to doubt her… heck no… I was already in doubt.

“I love you Hyo… but this… you should have told me sooner. So that, I don’t have to be a fool of myself. You know, it’s such a waste… I was willing to give you anything… everything… even the things you won’t ask ‘coz I love you. Just so you know… that evening, when you lied, I saw you with him… I was there, Hyo… but did you even hear anything from me? Nothing right? I don’t know why… I love you…but I don’t trust you… now. And it can’t be that way right? It can’t be that I love you but I don’t trust you.”

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No Junho!!!! Don't be like that to Hyo!!!! 😭huhu

Btw, this chapter is consists of Junho's POV before & after what happened on chapter 20

so don't be confused okay!

And there will only be a few chapters left before the finale! It's sad isn't it? 😣 so don't forget to comment & subscribe! You can also vote for this story, all you have to do is to click the arrow up button beside the title!😃