I left Jonghyun on the veranda of the house for me to cook our dinner. Jonghyun seemed to enjoy the atmosphere and he always stayed outside. It is bad for his health, though but I cannot control his wants. I always warned him that it's too cold outside. He insisted to stay.

I cooked congee for him since he doesn't want to eat anything. He really need to eat because his medicines are no joke. He doesn't want to undergo chemotherapy. He doesn't want to undergo surgery and this is making us more worried. 

Appa tried to talk to him on how to cure his sickness but he is so stubborn. Everytime we were talking about healing, he always covers his ears. One night, I cried. Does he really want to die already? I really can't understand him. But after that time, Jonghyun confessed to me that he's scared. He's scared of the processes and side effects of chemotherapy. So we decided to do it in the alternative way... herbal medicines. 

"Jjong?" I called him as I finished cooking his dinner. I'm carrying a tray with full of nutritious food. Congee on a bowl, a banana and grapes on the other side with his favorite orange juice. "I don't want to eat." His reply. I sighed and continued to walk on his side. I scooped his congee and forced him to eat. He's turning his head away from the spoon and I wanted to curse in front of him because of his stubborness. 

"KIM JONGHYUN, OPEN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH NOW!"