Jessica POV

I was surprised, flattered, happy, yet confused. I love Tae, but it’s just different from what I feel for Yoona. I was afraid if I accept her right now, she might just be my escape.

“I… “

She cupped my face and tears fell down on my cheeks.

“I’m sorry Tae. I don’t think.. I don’t think I’m ready just yet.”

“Shhh, it’s ok Sica.” She caressed my cheeks and wiped my tears away. “Like I said, I will be waiting and I will support whichever your decision would be.”

“T-thank you” I mumbled.

“What for?”

“Being here for me. A- and loving me all this time.”

She smiled.”It’s ok Sica, I’m glad I could do it for you.”

“I-I didn’t know I have been hurting you.”

“No, you have not. I was happy that you were happy. I just can’t bear seeing you like this. I would punch Yoona if I could, but I can’t, cause it’ll hurt you more. I couldn’t beg her to come back to you either, cause I have no idea where the hell she is. This is the least I could do. Having your back.”

She gave me a faint smile then she shed a tear, before she wiped it away.

“I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable with this” She continued.

“It’s fine Tae. I’m honoured. Although I’m sorry I can’t return what you have given to me.” I cleaned my face with my hands.

“You won’t run away from me no matter what happens , right ?” I asked cautiously.

She gave me a smile that could always warm my heart when I see it. “I won’t.”

I leaned on her shoulder. At least I know someone I care about, wouldn’t get away from me. I’m very thankful of Tae. I might hurt her more with all the feelings I have for Yoona and the way she tried to heal me is just too much to consume.

I lessen the expressiveness of my heartache around her. At least this way, she wouldn’t have to hurt seeing me being hurt.

She never tried to do anything more than hugged me or patted my head.

This is what I like about her. She is like a big sister that I have never had.

Because having Krystal as my younger sister didn’t help much in this kind of situation, even though she cares for me. She usually just whined and complained about stuffs.

I started my life slow. Now that I’m not a surgeon anymore, I could go home early and rest. I still cried myself to sleep sometimes; I can’t stop my head from thinking about Yoona over and over again.

I was packing my bag to get back home that evening. It was a long day. For some reason people having a bad flu or headache or both. Probably the weather changed has caused it all.

I was walking down the lobby towards the entrance when I think I saw a figure that I know so well. How could I not when I have seen that figure inside out for 16 months.

I stopped walking and trying to make sure what I saw was who I thought it would be.

I saw her was going towards a car, so I started walking and rushed myself.

I didn’t know what I was doing. It was like my body worked without my command.

She was driving the car getting out from the parking lot. Before I know it I found myself running chasing her car.

She got further away and I stopped running, panting.

“Yoona.. is that you?” I thought to myself trying to catch a breath.

I went back to my car and drove home. When I reached home Taeyeon was just finished making dinner, so I joined her. We were talking about our day and I was hesitating to tell her what just happened.

“Tae” I called her while munching a small piece of meat.

“Sica” She answered teasingly.

“I think I saw Yoona” I sighed and then pulled my head up.

I saw Taeyeon’s gaze was empty, surprised.  She then looked down after.

“Really? Where?”

“at the hospital” I answered while poking my spoon on my food.

“Did you two talked?”

“I didn’t have the chance. I wasn’t sure why she was there but I tried to chase her when she was driving away. I think she didn’t see me.”

“I’m sorry, Sica” Tae said suddenly.

“For?”

“I don’t know. Just.. She has a lot of things to explain. She owe you that much. She has to help you get through this, and no other person could help you about this. She has to finish what she left whichever way she wanted it to be.”

“I don’t know why I chased her Tae. I don’t even know what I would say if I face her.”  I sighed for the nth time.

I went to my room after we finished our dinner. Tae didn’t say anything afterward; she might have a lot of things going on in her mind, so did I. I think Tae would be sad whenever I mentioned Yoona’s name. I would feel a thousand knives being stabbed on me whenever I remember her. I felt so weak when I saw her, yet I became stronger that I still am surprised how I could run that long to chase her.

We ate breakfast together the next morning.

Tae didn’t say much, but she said she will be late tonight, so I should probably have dinner outside. I just nodded in agreement because we both know better that I’m not good in the kitchen. I parked my car at my usual spot and greed the security and some receptionists.

I walked to the elevator when I saw it was actually open and just started to close, I ran and slipped my hand between the closing doors to stop it.

The security sensor triggered because my hand was in between. So the elevator doors reopened.

“I’m sorry” I said bowing while I stepped in.

When I looked up I couldn’t help but to surprised myself.

Im Yoona, was standing in front of me.

This is the most awkward moment I have been having in my life.

More to it there isn’t actually anyone inside that small room.

I could smell her perfume and it drives me nuts.

I feel tears building up in my eyes.

She looked surprised that she had agape.

I turned around so I don’t have to see her face.

This is the time I have been waiting since she left. To meet her again.

I was just so upset that I don’t think I want to say anything to her.

I pressed the floor button I was going to. I was going to the 5^th floor when she was going to the 8^th floor. We kept quiet during the trip. I was really hoping it was over because I don’t think I could hold my tears any longer.

When the elevator opened for my floor, I walked out the elevator. I then feel a hand grip my wrist and pulled me away from the elevator towards the emergency stairs.

I was so surprised that I didn’t do anything until we arrived. I pulled my hand from her grip; it was quite an effort because she was holding it so tight.

I looked up and gave her my icy glare and then started to walk and was about to open the door, when I felt her arms wrapped on my waist.

I was stunned.

I couldn’t help it anymore, I broke into tears. I’m crying yet again.

“Sooyeon-ah.” She called me faintly.

“Let me go.” I finally said between my sobbing.

I tried to break from her but she was very firmed and being persistence so I gave up.

I could feel my shoulders getting wet.

I let out a sighed. “What do you want Yoona?”

She didn’t reply.

“I asked you to let me go, but you didn’t want to, no I’m talking to you but you’re not replying.”

“I’m sorry.” She finally said.

“For what? Did you do anything you need to be sorry about?”

“For everything. For leaving you alone in states. For not contacting you and never came back.”

I tried to hold my tears again, I have to be strong. On the other hand, Yoona was sobbing pretty hard and she ducked her head behind my neck.

“it’s kinda late to say those stuff isn’t it ?

“it is. I wish I don’t have to even say it.”

The thought of her came into my mind in a rush. Our moments we spent together, her smile, her scent that I smell right now, her laugh, her eyes. And then followed by how my heartache almost eat me alive, when she left and I had to live day by day without knowing where she is, or to literally not having her beside me was killing me.

I burst out into anger and all my disappointment.

I use all my strength to push her from me, and when she broke her hug, I turned myself to face her and pushed her to the wall.

“WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING IM YOONA?!” I shouted at her.

She was surprised at first then she looked down. I was crying hard.

“After all these months you have gone without any contact, after you left me alone in the dark, breaking my heart, now you accidently appeared and said sorry and you think it will make everything OK?”

I hit her chest and shoulder over and over and over.

I stopped.

I wiped my face so there won’t be any stained of tears on me.

My voice calmed and I looked at her while she was still looking to the floor.

“Where have you been? What happened? Why didn’t you try to contact me? Do you know how miserable my life was?”

“I know” she said silently, and looked up at me. “I know how your life has been and I couldn’t contact you because it was complicated.”

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“I can’t be with you right now. I still care about you, a lot. I wish it wouldn’t turn out this way, but I don’t think I have the right to do anything about us, at this moment. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand. I mean, if you have stopped loving me and you wanted to break up with me, you could have just told me. I won’t force you to be with me, Yoong.”

She then held my shoulders. “I didn’t want to break up with you, Sooyeon. I never wanted to. But what I got myself into right now isn’t something I could just easily let go.” She looked at me with her serious eyes, they still look very beautiful and astonishing.

“I really don’t know what to say beside I’m deeply sorry, for making you went through a hell lot of misery. I just want you to know that what I felt for you was real. What I’m doing right now, its sincerity. I know I don’t have the right to say, but I love you. I do. But I have to let you go, and you have to forget me.”

I frowned at her “If you love me why you want to let me go again? And why do you want me to forget you?”

She smiled at me faintly “Jung Sooyeon, just please find your happiness without me. I’ve made you suffer. You deserve a lot better person than me.”

She then patted my cheek and left me dumbfounded.

============================= to be continued =========================== 

A/N: Hii~~ 30subbers XD *bow* ty for subbing :3

Ok, so this is more like a fast update so i coul enhance a little bit from the story.. A little messy at that i might say

A lot of things on my mind that i'm trying to figure out how to mesh them together in one chapter, but i couldn't

So, still a lot of puzzle around. at least you know Yoona still love Sica. Just she has something she got herself into  =)

I don't like writing stuffs that make bof of them sad.. 

uuhh,, gotta be patient myself ><

thank you for reading :D

Oh SNSD gonna have a performance on 17th may!! oh my gawd!! xDDDD i'm hoping for more yoonsic moments ~ 

and HAPPY BURFDAY SUNNY~ <3 the aegyo queennzzz~ woot woot