Suzy turned her head to the side when she felt something was interrupting her and saw Hyuna staring at her. She saw her lips moving but she could not hear what words she was saying because of a loud beeping sound in her ears. It was as if her body was trying to spare her the pain by shutting everything around her out, but this was as far as it could do and when Suzy finally snapped out of her unreachable state she could hear everything normally again.

“Did you see a ghost? You're all pale.” Hyuna grabbed Suzy by the shoulders and stared at her with a pretend shocking face.

“Yah! Don't make pizza wait because of a ghost, pizza doesn't wait for anyone.” she pulled away and laughed, taking a seat beside Suzy on the couch. Suzy tried to act normal by putting a string of her hair behind her ear and smiling softly.

“Woaah! It smells so nice” Suzy tried and saw both Hyuna and Jonghyun grinning. As the two were pouring drinks and placing plates on the table Suzy was left to her thoughts. She couldn't hear what he was saying but she could imagine their conversation being cute and fluffy. Like a couple that really love each other. Suzy swallowed and took a deep breath. The feeling of not being good enough was creeping into her heart and making her feel worthless. He doesn't give a damn about you after all, a familiar voice in her head said. Suzy took Yonghwa's glass and brushed her lips against the edge and then taking a sip, as if it would make her want to kiss him less.

Hyuna sat down on the couch next to and they could hear Yonghwa laughing loudly from the kitchen they looked at each other, Suzy put his glass down on the table quickly and put on a sweet smile just as if she was picking out an accessory to wear. Hyuna glanced in the direction that Yonghwa was at and chuckled.

“I wonder what's so funny” she sticked her tongue out and ate a slice of pizza, giving a plate with a slice of pizza to Suzy as well. Suzy shook her shoulders and shoved the slice of pizza in chewing it fast to not say any of her thoughts out loud and felt slightly more calm. She's funnier than you, more worthy of his time. Stop being pathetic, throwing yourself at him when he doesn't want you. It was as if she had a constant bully in her head, picking on her for every action she did except that it was herself. She hated herself, that's what made it all worse. Suzy looked at Hyuna and tilted her head.

“Let's get drunk please” Suzy was pleading but had already started to pour a glass of whatever was on the table, beer and soju. Two drinks that she hadn't tasted before, yet alone together. Hyuna followed Suzy's example and grinned.

“Let's go crazy” she laughed and started drinking with her. Suzy downed her drink almost all at once and took deep breaths as she put the glass down on the table again. What difference does it make if your body ruins when you simple don't care about yourself?

“Wait for me” Hyuna whined and drank as fast as she could before pouring them both new drinks. They put their glasses up and both drank a little.

“Cheers for being single baby” Hyuna winked at Suzy who looked back at her in surprise. She hadn't thought of being single as something good. What was so good about not being able to like the person you like? Suzy smiled but her tears were falling from the inside. They bumped their glasses and took big sips. Suzy thought about Hyuna and how she had changed since they both had started hanging out with new people, especially Jonghyun and Yonghwa. She hadn't seen her being sad about her ex and she was suspecting that it was because they were too busy for that. Even if spending time with these people was hurting Suzy she didn't mind doing it because of Hyuna. She couldn't take away her smile just as it had appeared again on her face. Suzy put her arm around Hyuna and drank more. Suzy started to feel less awful, she needed some distraction from her own mind. If there was something that came close to a turn off button for her thoughts it ought to be alcohol, she thought and drank some more.

“You traitors, you started without me?” Suzy heard Yonghwa's voice but did not move, she saw Jonghyun's shadow at the corner of her eye as he sat down and started eating.

“You can only blame yourself, Yonghwa. But it didn't seem as if your mind was on pizza at all all this time” Hyuna joked and gave him a slice of pizza. Yonghwa ignored her hint and started eating and drinking from his glass.

“Oppa you didn't really eat” Suzy smiled at Jonghyun and put two slices of pizza on his plate. Jonghyun smiled at her.

“Thank's Suzy” He started eating and Hyuna sat next to him, starting to discuss something they had started talking about earlier. Suzy felt like it was time to leave them alone and glanced at Yonghwa but he was looking down at his phone, typing something fast with one hand and holding his pizza with the other. He was biting his lip and it only drove Suzy insane. She wanted to stop thinking about him but how could she when he was being so close to her. Suzy finally went to sit down on the couch next to him and poured some soju in a glass, drinking a bit and made a face. Yonghwa wasn't looking up from his phone, totally ignoring her existence or simply too caught up in the interesting conversation with his girlfriend. Suzy didn't know what to do, Jonghyun and Hyuna were talking to each other, she could obviously try to talk with them but it felt like they would have more fun on their own, they had gotten like a special friendly bond of some kind, so much was clear to her. She cleared . It wasn't like he could ignore her forever, besides, she wasn't a child that wouldn't understand that he isn't interested in her. Even in her drunk state it was pretty clear that he was uncomfortable with her actions. Yonghwa was forced to look up, putting his phone in his pocket.

“Hey cutie” He said in a low voice and looked at Suzy. Are all girls in his surrounding cuties? Suzy felt annoyed that he was calling her cute without meaning it. She would prefer him to completely cold towards her rather than giving her weak heard small sparks of hope each time he says something sweet to her. This in-between relationship might not be difficult for him but it was killing Suzy.

“Hey Yonghwa” Suzy smiled and drank a bit more, drowning her annoyance with soju.

“So how is she?” Suzy nudged his arm playfully and chuckled. His phone buzzed and he drank some of his drink before taking his phone and replying quickly.

“She good, she called to make sure I'm not bored” He nodded softly.

“So, are you?” Suzy tiled her head. She was being straightforward and cold, but it was the only way she could converse with him without either slapping him or kissing him. She needed to put boundaries between them, an imaginary wall, yeah that should work. While she was trying to draw the wall in her head Yonghwa ate some of his pizza.

“Bored? No, of course not” He said but Suzy was not convinced. Yonghwa noticed the look on suzy's face and ruffled her hair, and that was that with the imaginary wall Suzy thought and sighed.

“Is she lonely? Maybe you should go to her” looked away, trying to cover her blushing face.

“Maybe I will go there tonight. Thank you for caring Suzy” He smiled at her. Suzy nodded and downed the soju in her glass.

“Actually, I think you two would become good friends. She doesn't really have any friends and I know you are really kind and caring.” He said in a soft voice. He seemed sad for her and Suzy felt bad for hating her. She didn't even know this girl but she knew that she was lucky, having Yonghwa as her boyfriend. Suzy was kind but she wasn't sure that she could be friends with her crush's girlfriend. It was simply too much to ask for.

“How come? Is she weird or something?” Suzy blurted out without thinking. Yonghwa glanced at her and shook his head.

“People don't really understand her, she's a bit misunderstood for being too smart. People compare her to Jinah a lot too” Is Jinah another of his admirers? Suzy couldn't really concentrate on what he was saying other than the fact that he was being so considerate of his girlfriend and that it was making her feel less important. In his eyes she was just a nice girl he could hang out with when his girlfriend was busy. She wanted to remove the cute image he was having of her and be seen as a woman. She looked down at her clothes and tilted her head. She really looked innocent, maybe even young, people could mistake her as a junior high student. Yonghwa looked down at his phone again and bit his lip, Suzy tried to see what it was saying but instead she saw a picture of what seemed to be two long and skinny legs, wearing short, pink shorts. Suzy looked at Yonghwa's face and noticed that he wasn't paying attention to her at all anymore. She bit her lip too, realizing what she needed to do. It was true that he was smiling and biting his lip to girls that wasn't herself but right now, right now she is the one sitting next to him.

“I'll be right back” Suzy said to Yonghwa and told herself that he was listening. Yonghwa looked up and closed down the picture he had opened on his phone to distract him from Suzy. He wiped his sweaty hand on his pants and went to the kitchen to drink some water. Yonghwa was trying not to have any feelings towards Suzy, Nana had called him and told him that she is studying and that she is fine but he had kept the conversation going for a long time in desperation of not being alone with Suzy. He didn't trust himself alone with her. He drank a glass of water all at once and washed his face to cool down. He was aware of what he was doing to her, it was intentional indeed. He wanted her to feel distanced from her, it was for the best of both of them.

Suzy went to the washroom and closed the door behind her, she looked into the fullsize body mirror, she was wearing black shorts that were always going up, so actually it wouldn't make such a big difference if she was not wearing them at all. She took them off and tilted her head. The top she was wearing was just short enough to not look like a dress but still long enough for her to not be visible when she was just standing. Her bare legs were long and pale, she rubbed her thighs softly and lost her balance, regaining it when she grabbed the handle of the door. She had already been drinking much more than she could handle. She was just feeling it now that she was standing up. Her head was spinning but she was smiling, she looked hot now but she wasn't quite done yet. She pulled her top down slightly, revealing more than she had done ever in her life and nodded, she picked up some red lipstick from her handbag and wore it carefully. Now I'm good to go. Her subconscious had been put to sleep and could not stop her anymore. It was now or never.

When Suzy came out of the washroom she bumped into Yonghwa who was heading back to the living room, they both stopped for a moment and Yonghwa stared at her without saying a word.

“Is something wrong?” Suzy asked and looked at him. Yonghwa shook his head and chuckled.

“Let's go to the others” he said calmly before going to the living room with Suzy. When they both came back they had put on some music and Hyuna and Jonghyun were dancing with each other goofily in a the corner of the room. Jonghyun seemed as if he was blushing but it might as well had been the alcohol in his blood that made his skin flush. Suzy knew that Hyuna could be really charming if she wanted to, and it seemed as if Jonghyun had gotten to know that too by now. She turned her head and saw Yonghwa heading to the couch to sit down, she grabbed his hand and looked at him as he turned around.

“Dance with me” Yonghwa looked at her as if she had asked him to strip in public.

“Me? Dancing?” he chuckled but did not sound as confident as he usually does. It was as if Suzy's confident behavior was putting him off guard, that it was reversing their roles somehow and Suzy did not complain at all.

“Yes you.” Yonghwa tried not to stare at Suzy's legs, he looked up and shook his head softly, chuckling softly.

“No, Suzy. I don't dance.” he took his phone again and pretended to look busy. Suzy got annoyed and took his phone, putting her hands behind her back for him to not reach it.

“Come on, even Jonghyun oppa is dancing”

“Dance with him then” Yonghwa said coldly and attempted to take his phone back from her but she took a step back and started dancing alone. Yonghwa watched her dancing and sighed. He didn't want to think inappropriate thoughts but they were coming to his mind when she was dancing like that.

“Suzy. Will you give it back to me?”

“If you dance with me.” She tilted her head and put the phone in her bra taking his hands and placing them on her waist. Yonghwa took a deep breath and looked at her, trying to figure out the origin of her behavior.

“Please dance with me, just tonight” she said softly without really looking at him. Her shy self was back even though she was wearing such a outgoing outfit and makeup. She moved her body slowly to the music at it had changed to a slower one and rested her head against his chest. Yonghwa sighed and felt his thoughts becoming a reality, he held his arms around the girl and hugged her softly, moving with her to the music in an awkward but soft way. The one thing he was trying to prevent the whole evening had happened and in a way, maybe it was inevitable. Jonghyun and Hyuna were still too busy jumping around with each other to notice the changed atmosphere between Suzy and Yonghwa and that was probably for the best too. Suzy closed her eyes and let her be held in his arms, she could feel her eyes becoming watery but she tried to hold them back. It felt great to be in his arms again, to have his arms wrapped around and keeping her safe. It's what she had wanted all along, had been interrupted before when they were alone. Suzy felt Yonghwa's hands running up and down her body slowly as they both were embracing each other in their slow dance and she swallowed. Her cheeks were burning and her heart was beating fast. Luckily for her, Yonghwa had not been drinking as much as she had and was able to support her whenever she lost her balance. Yonghwa felt his blood rushing to his head and tried to control himself, he was already doing too much but he couldn't stop, he rubbed her back slowly and pulled her closer. Suzy almost forgot that the only reason he was holding her right now was because she was forcing him. She took a deep breath and wiped a teardrop off her cheek. Yonghwa bit his lower lip hard as he had been doing all night to control himself, this could be the last time it would work. He created a slight space between them and caressed her cheeks, looking into her eyes. This was dangerous, he knew it. But if he should've stopped at one time, the time had already passed him by. Too late to turn back. Suzy could guess where this was going. Was she finally going to kiss him? She felt her head hurting and her heart beating faster. Something wasn't right, this wasn't right. The warm fuzzy feeling she had had before and during the whole night, trying to get to this moment was gone and all she could think of was the picture of Nana. “I think you two would become good friend” she heard Yonghwa's voice in her head and teared up. Was she stealing someone's boyfriend? Seducing him and actually thinking that she would feel good about it? This was going to be the last of them. She was sure of it. If she didn't kiss him now she knew they would never be something. But somehow her conscience wasn't letting her do this. If this was the only way she could have him, she would rather be alone. She would rather have no one at all. Yonghwa rubbed Suzy's back slowly and leaned in looking at Suzy, but he noticed the change in her eyes and pulled away again. It didn't seem as if she was alright.

“Suzy, are you alright?” He hugged her again and tried to not think of bad things. Maybe they could still be good friends. Suzy pulled away and tugged at her own top. She felt confused and annoyed at her own actions. She should follow her heart but her mind wasn't letting her. She wanted to kiss him but there was a wall between them, the wall she had built up in her mind. She took one step closer to him trying to see how far away the wall was. How far could she follow her heart without her mind interrupting. She took one more step and Yonghwa pulled her close, making the job easier for her, he leaned in without thinking and pressed his lips against her, kissing her softly and slowly. Suzy couldn't believe it, her mind was blown away, the only thought that was going on in her head was how right it felt. She placed her hands on his chest for support and kissed him back softly, enjoying the moment they were sharing together.

“Hyung?” Jonghyun said with a clear voice. Suzy snapped out of her state and pulled away as quickly as Yonghwa did, without exchanging a glance with anyone of the three she quickly took three steps back towards the door.

“I'm sorry, I think I drank too much” she murmured and took her handbag before leaving the room. Yonghwa cleared his throat and avoided Jonghyun's stare. He still wasn't sure of what had just happened and his head was trying to process it. He his lip as they all heard the door closing behind Suzy as she left.

“What was that all about?” Hyuna asked and got up, staring at Yonghwa as well. Jonghyun walked towards Yonghwa and handed him a napkin, whispering in his ear.

“Nice one hyung.” his voice filled with sarcasm. One of few times that Jonghyun was actually talking back to his hyung. Yonghwa reached for his phone in lack of something else but found both his pockets empty. And then it hit him.

“My phone.”

A/N: As you all know by now, I kind of at updating. But I really love writing this story even though I don't update frequently. I'm really sorry and I hope you still like the story and didn't forget about it. Please comment about your thoughts and everything.  Makes me so happy to know that you like it.  And If you don't like it, tell me why. I won't be mad I promise hahaha