Suzy and Yonghwa stood still, looking at each other long after Hyuna and Jonghyun jad left them alone in the apartment. Suzy tried her best to control her breathing as she felt it starting to increase in pace. Yonghwa was being just as shocked as Suzy and did not know what he should do. He knew things were awkward between them even though he was not sure of the exact reason. He rubbed his neck slowly and Suzy could see that he was feeling uncomfortable. Finally Suzy looked away and Yonghwa exhaled. Suzy her shirt, feeling how her body shook of anxiety. She was not good with these situations. The ones where both parts know that there is something wrong and are forced to act normal. Suzy wished for Hyuna and Jonghyun not to take so long with buying pizza but she knew it would take at least half an hour, if not longer. Yonghwa cleared his throat, preparing to talk but Suzy did not dare to look into his mesmerizing eyes once more.

“Suzy, is something wrong?” Yonghwa asked with a confident tone. Suzy did not reply, simply because she did not know how to explain what was wrong. She felt how her feelings were mixing inside her head and reality was being combined with her dreams, making her unsure of what was right and what was only her imagination.

I thought you were different. I thought you cared about me. The image of him and Nana was so clearly being displayed before her mind that it was as if it was happening all over again.

You are so mean. Suzy looked down at the floor without realizing it and Yonghwa came closer.

I hate you. She tried to erase the image from her head but it was impossible. She remembered their kiss too, the one she had initiated and suddenly she felt stupid.

“Are you mad at me?” She looked up and saw Yonghwa standing across from her, looking at her and waiting for a reply whenever she was ready.

I like you. She swallowed and felt getting dry. His eyes were looking at her as if he could read her mind, as if he was looking right into her soul, but they were also looking slightly upset. She blushed and her dry lips.

“I got sad that you didn't introduce me to your girlfriend” Suzy said and rubbed her head.

“Silly, I know” she chuckled and looked at Yonghwa, trying to look as convincing as possible. Yonghwa's expression changed and he seemed to be relieved. He ruffled Suzy's hair and smiled.

“I thought you hated me” Yonghwa tilted his head and pinched Suzy's cheek with his index and thumb, his lips forming a smile. He let go when he noticed that Suzy was not returning a smile and fixed his shirt. Suzy felt like a coward for not telling him her true feelings, but there was no way he would understand or even worse, he would not care. He has his girlfriend and numerous of girls who are probably confessing to him daily, what would another do to him?

Nothing.

She tried to smile but she was afraid it would look unnatural so she stopped. Yonghwa coughed. It was as if he needed to make sounds to not feel too awkward. But Suzy's thoughts were so loud that she did not notice the awkward silence between them.

“Did you receive my texts?” Yonghwa asked hesitantly, not sure if it had been them who had made Suzy upset. Suzy nodded.

“I was going to answer but... I was busy”. She said slowly.

“Busy?” Suzy nodded again. She did not want to say too many words as she felt that her voice might betray her and say things she was not intending to say.

“I will introduce you next time, alright?” He said in hope of making things better, but to his surprise Suzy's expression did not seem brighter than before he had suggested it.

“The thing is, I've only told Jonghyun” His voice turned serious now, as if he was talking about a sensitive subject. Suzy shrugged at the thought. She did not want to hear his reasons. She wanted to hear that he did not introduce her because is was not a serious relationship. That he did not think it would last so he did not bother. But she knew it was all hopeless dreams in her head, mixed with reality so that they were easily mistaken for real thoughts.

“And I don't want to tell anyone else for the time being” Yonghwa continued calmly but firmly, his words being informing but sounding like a command, telling her to not say a word about the matter.

“Why?” Suzy blurted out almost before Yonghwa had finished his sentence. She was not thinking about what he thought of her anymore. She could only think of how much she wanted him to be hers and how much he was rejecting her unknowingly with each word he was saying. Yonghwa looked at her surprised, seeing how the quiet girl could ask so direct questions suddenly.

“It's my private life.” He said, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“And people tend to talk about things that are none of their business” He was angry now, but not at Suzy. He spoke as if he was talking about a whole different subject, as if this conversation was reminding him of something in his past. Something before he knew Suzy. She nodded at his words and did not reply. After a while Yonghwa sighed and ruffled his hair.

“I'm sorry Suzy, I didn't mean to raise my voice like that” he opened his arms and looked at her with an apologetic expression. Suzy felt a lump in as if she was trying to hold back tears, she had not noticed that his raised voice had upset her until he had apologized. Or maybe it was all of her emotions that were pushing her off her limits. She hugged him softly and felt his strong arms embrace her tightly. She breathed slowly through her nose and felt the scent of his cologne. It was one which was so discrete that one could only feel it if they were as close to him as Suzy was now, but when you well felt it, you would be enchanted by it. Suzy felt his hands slowly rubbing her back and she closed her eyes, not caring about the inappropriate moment they were sharing. At the time, it felt like the only right thing to do. Yonghwa felt Suzy holding him tightly and smiled to himself, he hadn't realized that she had come to care about him a lot already. He knew that she had been through a lot before they met and it was only right to try and make her feel better. Suzy felt the same warm feeling she had felt whenever Yonghwa had been around her in the past, comforting her when she was at her lowest point, everything before he had become cold towards her. She forgot it all, all the bad emotions was as if temporarily into a black hole and to Suzy, it felt as if they would never return. Yonghwa pulled away slowly, still touching her back, making the connection between them still obvious. Suzy felt the urge to kiss him, she needed it. She wanted it.

Suzy looked up at him, meeting his eyes and bit her lip. Yonghwa smiled at her and run his hand up and down her back softly, rubbing it. It felt so good, she felt so good. She wanted to stop this moment only to make him look at her forever. To not see any other girl than her. She wanted him to know what she felt and remember it. Suzy felt how her urge of kissing him was getting stronger than her sensible mind, telling her to restrain herself. She leaned in and placed her hands on Yonghwa's chest, feeling his heartbeats becoming faster and his breath against her lips. She looked into his eyes and leaned closer.

“” Yonghwa pulled away and took out his ringing phone out of his pocket, answering it.

“Baby!” he said into the phone and walked out of the living room, without exchanging even a glance at Suzy. She let go. The feelings that were purposely into a black hole were only hidden somewhere in her head, indeed temporarily and were now shown even clearer than before. Suzy walked slowly to the couch, taking a seat and stared into the wall, expressionless on the surface, but dying on the inside. She could not hear anything anymore. She could not feel her heart beating. Was she even alive or was she simply stuck, lifeless in a body? Suzy did not notice that Jonghyun and Hyuna were back until Hyuna softly patted her shoulder.

“Suzy, you didn't hear? Pizza is here” 

A/N: Hehe, I hope you liked this chapter! I really enjoyed writing it! Please comment and let me know what you think! HUGS