CHAPTER 20

SET FIRE TO THE RAIN

*Flashback*

“You’re not Min Seok’s father… You’re not the father of Yuri unnie’s son… tell me you’re not, if you tell me you’re not… I will trust you… I only need you to tell me, you’re not… and I will trust you…” – She whispered in between their kiss… Tears pooled up at the corner of her eyes.

“Ssul… What are you…” – He stopped kissing her, his forehead landed on hers, his mind was attacked by a heavy shock hearing her words.

“Oppa, tell me, you’re not her son’s father…” – She started to cry, but her hands still clutched onto his neck, her breathe became uneven.

“Ssul, please, look at me… Look at me now…” – He said in between his breath, trying so hard to calm himself down.

“I can’t oppa… I… I don’t know… I’m so scared… Who am I? Am I your wife? I… I don’t know anything about us except from those things that you tell me… Is there anything else that I don’t know about the past? Who was I in the past? And… and… why am I being like this? I don’t know… Am I in love with you now? Have I fallen for you? I… I don’t know… And… to an empty – minded person like me… I don’t have anything to hold on except you… I’m so scared…” – Sulli cried harder as she slowly fell on the floor with Min Ho beside her…

She held her chest with her two hands, a lot of emotion covered her head, making her struggle among physical and mental breakdown.

“You’re not Ssul, you’re not an empty – minded person, you’re not…” – Min Ho was now sat on the floor with Sulli, he tried to pulled her closer and hold her arms but being prevented by his wife’s stubbornness.

“I’m his father!” – Min Ho grabbed her wrists toughly, he was trying so hard not to explode… And looked at Sulli with his fierce eyes, his grip on her hands became tighter that made her stop struggle.

“…” – Sulli looked up, her tears almost dried hearing his words

“I’m his father, Yoo Geun’s father! This is the only thing that I know now, Ssul!” – He breathed heavily, trying to suppress his outburst, his eyes were burned of pain and desperation.

“The only thing I’m sure of is I’m Yoo Geun’s father, and Ssul, I know this is unfair if I ask you to be patient, but I have nothing but you and our son… And so, I’m here, asking for your understanding and patience, I know you’re not fully recover, I know you’re now suffering from the lost of memory, you’re confusing, but I also know Ssul… You love me, right? I know you love me, even you cannot remember me, I know you still love me, and I’m here, again… Selfishly asking you to bear this with me… Can you? Can you wait a little bit more and let me settle all of this? I’m confusing, too… I’m going crazy because of this, too…” – Min Ho’s eyes now pooled up with water as he pulled his wife closer to his chest and landed his head on hers… -“Please, Ssul… I don’t know, please trust me, I’m going find out everything, about Yuri noona, about the truth and Min Seok’s father… For the past days, my head was in chaos, Iyou know what, if not for you and Yoo Geun, if I can’t see you two here, I think my head might explode and I was already collapsed….”

He took a deep breath, clear his throat…

“If you ask me to stay away from you, yes, I’ll try… If you ask me not to touch you, yes, I’ll try… But please Ssul, please be here for me, if I can’t see you, I think I will never has the strength to fight against all of these insane things… Please stay here for me to see you, please… Don’t let go of me…”

Min Ho stopped and he stayed still for a while with Sulli in his arms, and then released her slowly…

“I’m sorry Sulli, I know I’m being unfair with you… But I can’t remember anything from that night but waking up on the bed with her beside, I can’t remember anything…”

And he faked a sad smile on his sorrowful face before leaving the room with his wife sobbing on her bed.

…

1 weeks passed, and as promised, Min Ho didn’t push Sulli for anything, he did her a favor and didn’t try to touch her… He just stay from afar and watched over his wife taking care of Yoo Geun, he asked Key to come with her to the hospital for checking up, asked his mother to go walking with her every afternoon with an excuse of being busy with his new project, he dropped by at their room to send Yoo Geun a morning kiss and gave Sulli a soft smile but he didn’t ever say anything that made her think too much…

But he didn’t know that, silence was the most painful thing.

…

Sulli was there, at the balcony with Yoo Geun in her arms.

Sunny morning was good for baby ad for those ones who had just recovered from illness like her.

She sighed, looking at the smiling face of her son…

“Do you miss Daddy, baby?”

The baby moved a little bit as he opened his tiny hand and slowly closed it, then opened it, over and over again, just like a blossom little flower.

Sulli chucked and lift him up to kiss on his palm…

“What are you trying to say, baby? Sorry, Mommy is not that smart to understand your baby talk, and now, I’m just an empty – minded mother… I’m useless, baby ah… I don’t even know what to do…”

She sighed again as she held the baby tighter, tears were now pooled up at her eyes’ corner again…

“Yoo Geun doesn’t miss his Daddy that much, and you know, I think the one who miss his daddy is his stubborn and silly mommy, not him…”

Sulli opened her eyes that were losing to hold back her tears and turned around to the voice behind her.

There stood at the door was a young beautiful lady with slightly blonde wavy hair and a mischief smile written on her lips.

She stepped closer and sit down on the wooden chair behind Sulli so that she could see the playful glint in the lady’s eyes…

“And by the way, my giant baby, even if you’re a little bit silly sometimes but you never be an empty – minded person, never ever… simple because, you’re my giant baby… My giant baby is always smart… especially when she is now a very beautiful mother…” – The lady smiled at Yoo Geun and pinched Sulli’s cheek.

Sulli’s mind got blurred.

Her heart beat like crazy as she gulped down to control a huge wave of emotion storming all over her body.

Images.

Voice.

Warm hugs.

A lot of things ran through her mind, she couldn’t even react to the young lady.

All the illustration stopped right at the moment Sulli snapped open her eyes and looked at the beautiful milky face in front of her…

“Tae… Tae… Tae Yeon unnie…” – Her breathe became uneven, she was trying to mouth those words.

“Tae Yeon unnie…”

“You… you know her? Ssul? You know her? You know she is Tae Yeon unnie? Ssul, you can remember her?”

Seo Hyun furiously came to the balcony once she heard the words slipped out from Sulli’s own lips, her heart actually stopped beating while watching Tea Yeon approach Sulli for the first time after her condition of losing memory.

Tae Yeon was sitting there, wide opened her eyes too when she shockingly hearing Sulli call out her name, but then, as she was, always, she just laughed happily at the stunned Seo Hyun and said…

“I told you, babo Seo Joo Hyun, my giant baby loves me more than she loves Min Ho…”

And she gave Sulli a big warm hug…

“How are you, my giant baby?” – Tae Yeon asked once she released her from her hug.

“I… I don’t know… unnie… I mean… Can I call you unnie just like I call Seo Hyun unnie?” – Sulli looked up at Seo Hyun who was now proudly sitting next to her with a shyly look…

“Aish, babo… you already called me unnie…  I’m always your Tae Yeon unnie, and forever as your unnie… that’s why I went all along for such a long way from Paris back here just to meet you, my giant baby…” – Tae Yeon smiled softly, her mischief eyes now were watery with tears, too… She cupped Sulli’s face as she caress it with her warm hands.

“I… I just know it… I don’t know why, but I just know it… I know it is you, I know you, you are Tae Yeon unnie, but… but… sorry unnie… I can’t remember anuthing more… I’m sorry…”

“That’s enough, honey, that’s enough, you know me… And I know you… that’s enough… My giant baby, that enough… I’m not coming back for you to remember me, I’m coming back to be your Fairy God Mother, as I always was when you were a little girl… Remember what I told you before, fairy tales are fabricated by ourselves, but once we are running out of thread, then we need help , we need the other to give you their thread to help you finish your tale… And now, I’m here, to give you the rest of the fairy thread… But, before I hand you those thread, you must answer my question first… Well, baby, I know in this kind of situation, this is a little bit rush to you, but… still… Are you now still in love with Min Ho or even don’t remember him but you fall for him, again?”

…

He slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

She was lying on the bed and sleeping soundly…

It’d been for a while he didn’t see her sleep like this, comfortably and soundly, as if nothing had happened, as if she didn’t aware of the thing between Yuri and him, as if she was not suffering from her own problems of recovering after the losing memory event, as if nothing hurt her.

He smiled bitterly and reached out his hands to shoved hair on her forehead…

She was always beautiful, and he loved her so much, so much that his aching heart felt so hurt seeing her like this…

Why was this so hard for them?

He was a jerk to her… He thought when he avoided her after Seo Hyun got married was the best thing he could do for her, but this wrong though followed after other wrong step, and he hurt her, again…

“Good night, my baby… I love you… and I’m sorry…” – Min Ho whispered as he stood up and prepared to leave the room when he felt a hand held his arm and a soft voice saying…

“Oppa, please don’t go…”

He stood still as an electronic wave ran through has mind.

And she was in shock too, when suddenly another illustration flooded up in her brain once the words “Please don’t go…”  slipped out of … She could see the view where she in a hospital room, crying on the bed,saying “Please don’t go…” and he was there too, sitting on a chair next to her bed, he was gulping and saying something… She couldn’t hear it clearly, but she could definitely tell it was him… She heard something like “Sorry…”, the words “Sorry…” repeated for so many times… And these memories became blurrer…  blurrer… until she could feel a hug… and she opened her eyes to see her now in her room again…

With Min Ho stood still beside her bed.

They both kept their silence as attempting to balance themselves after their own emotion.

Min Ho then turned around as he heard she called for him again, in a softer and weaker voice…

“Oppa… please don’t go…”

“You look so pale, does it hurt you somewhere?”

“No, it doesn’t… But… but you’re the one who hurt me…”

“I’m sorry Ssul…”

“Stop saying sorry… I hate it when you keep saying sorry…” – Sulli said in a bold voice, her hand was shaking as she sat up and handed him a small box.

Min Ho immediately realized what the box was… It was the box he used to keep those letters he wrote her but never sent, he thought he buried it for long time ago…

“How can you get this?... Do you remember something? Ssul… tell me… how can you get this?” – His voice became husky

“I don’t… I don’t remember anything if you ask me about the past, but my heart, I told you, right? My heart knows you… And I think my heart knows this too, except for the tiny memory which has just flooded my mind when I call you and tell you not to go…”

“You remember something?”

“I guess… But put it aside if you say sooner or later I’ll get it all back… The thing here is… I’ve read all the letter, and…” – She stopped, smiling mischievously, Min Ho could see his cheerful wife was back for a moment he saw the glint in her eyes.

“You are a little bit cheesy, you know…”

“…”

“Yuri unnie is so close to you, right?”

“I thought I had told you not to mention about her, for the time being when I’m still settle up all these thing? And why do you have to raise up this so sudden?”

“I’m not talking about her, I’m talking about us… and this letter…”

“Ssul,

Why am I so stupid? How can I face you with this mistake? I’m a jerk, Ssul…

This morning I woke up on a strange bed and… Yuri was by my side… She was by myside… What should I do now, Ssul? I can’t remember anything but the jealousy towards your duet with Hee Chul hyung… Beers… I know they are not good for a guy who was in deep anger, but I… Ssul… I ended up on the bed with her… What should I do? She told me not to worry about it, nothing happened but as a guy, I should take the responsibility, right? I’m going crazy for this? And you’re still avoiding me, what should I do?”

“I trust you…” – She whispered

“…”

“I’m suffering from the lost of memory and I know how do you feel when you can’t remember from the past but you still want to take responsibility towards it…

I can’t remember how much I love you in the past, I can’t…

But reading those letters, I think… I, the one in the past was blessed to fall in love with you…

You want to fight against this… I’m with you…

And besides, Tae Yeon unnie told me, even if you’re Min Seok’s father, if your heart doesn’t change, and my heart… if I still know what my heart wants… It doesn’t matter… it doesn’t matter…

The only thing matters is if we are willing to fight it or not… And the only thing matters is if I love you for your true self  or not, and if it is, I must love all the way it takes…”

“Ssul…”

“Tae Yeon unnie said, I hate rain, and she told me to set fire to the rain…”

“I think I’ll ask Yuri noona to go to the DNA checking…”

His words was cut off by a quick peck on the lips when his wife smiled and whispered…

“I can remember one thing, oppa… I told you not to go and ou told Yoo Geun to close his eyes when you kissed me at the hospital…”

*End of flashback*

...

“Set fire to the rain, guys… I didn’t go for a long way from Paris back here to do nothing… Min Seok’s father, we’re catching you…” – Tae Yeon smiled devilishly as she said…

…

“Hee Chul oppa?”

“Yuri?”