Eli picks me up and carries me to the couch. “Paxton everything’s alright.” He whispers, holding my hand. “I’m here.”

“He’s not.” I whisper feeling my heart tug even more at the pain that’s shooting through my body. “He’s gone Eli.”

Eli’s grip tightens. “Paxton he loved you so much, and it kills everyone that cares about you to see how much you lost, but Willis isn’t gone.” Looking up I see his grave face. “Willis will always be a part of you. Fina’s been nice these past two years to you, very understanding.” Pulling out of my grip he sits me down. “Paxton you have to stop waiting for him though. Willis isn’t coming back to you like we all want.”

Feeling my tears stream even faster I shake my head, pulling my knees in closer, I can’t hear it, not Eli too. Not him. Not now, not like this. Not when I need a friend.

“Paxton you have to listen to me, Willis was always complaining that he wasn’t good enough for you, that he was scared you’d leave him. Pax Willis always wanted the best for you, he still does. Willis would want you to move on with your life. You can’t keep moping around like this.”

Standing up I glare at him. “That’s all any of you say.” I snap at him tears still falling. “But none of you have given me the slightest idea of how to move on when someone you love so much died, that they left and you feel like they’re gone on a trip and could be back any moment. That’s what it feels like. I know Willis isn’t coming back, I know what he would want me to do, but Eli…” Wiping my tears away I move towards the door. “I don’t know how.”

Pulling my shoes on I step out into the hallway and walk down to the stairs, running down the flights I walk calmly out into the lobby. Leaving the apartments I walk out into Seoul feeling more alone than ever.

The whole conversation with Eli runs through my head, and the one with Fina, they’re both saying that I need to move on, that I can’t keep living like I am, I’m going nowhere fast. They were friends with Willis and loved him, but not like I love him, not like he loved me.

“Paxton!” Holding my breath I turn around to see Kevin running towards me, a hood over his head, and sunglasses look ‘casual’. “You can’t run off like this, you don’t even know where you are.” He says stopping in front of me.

“Kevin…” I mumble watching him smile at me. “I don’t know.”

He smiles before taking my hand and leading me away from the apartments. “That’s ok, but you got to start to figure it out.”

Quietly I follow behind him as he leads me through the busy streets, easily walking confidently. I’m not sure how to get over Willis, let alone start to move on. Do I start small? Do I just try to live like he’s still alive?

“Paxton, earth to Paxton” Kevin says waving his hand in my face, a smile still on his face. “Come on we’re here already.”

“Where?” I ask looking up at the building we’ve stopped in front of. “It looks…busy.”

Kevin chuckles. “You’ll want a place to come and think right?” He asks me, nodding my head he leads me in. “This is the studio, it’s where we come to practice, but it’s also the last place Eli will look for you.”

Frowning I allow Kevin to lead me inside, once we climb the stairs and he takes me to an empty practice room I’m met by the familiar sight of mirrors on the walls, the ballet bar’s wrapping around the three of the walls and finally a window overlooking the street. Looking around I stare at the ground, the wear on it comforting, it’s used, the size decent by all accounts, the smell of window cleaner all too calming to me.

“Eli said you loved dancing, playing instruments, I thought even if you don’t dance or play you’d like a room to be alone in.”

“Kevin thank-you.” I mumble sitting in the middle of the floor. “I’m sorry about my reaction.” I mumble watching him from the mirrors.

Shaking his head he turns around and leaves shutting the door behind him. Just sitting here I feel my stress unwinding, all the kinks I’ve felt in my head from worrying about Willis missing out on my life slowly unknotting.

Standing up I walk up to the mirrors touching the bar, looking around I see a make-shift changing room with some workout clothes set aside, dance shoes included.

Gingerly I pick them up staring at the fabric, the feeling of them foreign in my hands. Changing I step out in the middle of the room I begin to stretch, feeling the pain from me letting myself go, letting myself forget how much I love dancing, how much I missed it. After a while I stand up and begin simple, jumps, twirls, and then I move on to the dance routine that I’d been working on before Willis died, before I knew.

Over and over I go over the routine, remembering ever move I was supposed to do at my audition, ever step, count and note. Stopping I pant heavily staring at myself in the mirror, sloppy at best.

Hearing a knock followed by Kevin’s voice. “Paxton you ok in there?”

“Kevin just come in.” I tell him opening the door, seeing me he smiles. “What?”

He comes in, stepping back I watch him close the door. “I didn’t think you’d be dancing.”

Sighing I nod sheepishly. “I forgot the thrill, how it felt.” I mumble swaying. “Thank-you Kevin.”

Nodding his head Kevin moves to sit. “Can I see?”

Frowning I turn to face him. “I’m sloppy, I’ve lost my technique.”

Shrugging his shoulders he leans back against the wall. “That wasn’t a ‘no’.”

Gulping I move to the war end of the room facing the mirrors, starting I follow through to the jump, spin stopping I turn to face Kevin. “See a mess.”

Rolling his eyes he stands up. “You’re doing fine for starting again, amazing. You have a natural talent. Besides everyone has to work at something so don’t be too rough on yourself.” He nags me before placing a towel on my head. “It’s time to head home.”

Nodding my head I grab his shoulder. “Don’t tell Eli yet.”

Smiling he nods his head. “Our secret.”

Smiling at Kevin I follow him out of the room, and down the streets, still in my gross workout clothes. Sneaking me back into my apartment Kevin leaves me alone again.

Stepping out of the my room fully clothed and clean, my hair damp and down to air dry, seeing Eli on my couch I stare at him. “Hey.” I mumble sitting next to him.

“I’m sorry about what I said, you were upset and it wasn’t the time.” He says in English. “Paxton it just hurts to see you like that.”

“I’m sorry too; I’m adjusting to being so far away from home, and Fina.”

Eli chuckles. “You and Fina were always together, I think you two could use some breathing room.”

Smiling at Eli I nod my head leaning back. “I do know Willis isn’t coming back, and that I can keep waiting, but I can’t help it.” I mumble smiling at him sadly. “I’ll move on though, you and Fina are right, I need to start living again.”

A happier chapter, somewhat at least ^^ please enjoy.

Comment and Subscribe!!