~1 Month Later~

Sunhi’s POV

            Kai and I have gotten to be closer friends. We didn’t usually talk often, but when we do, we learn more about each other. He’s become a very close friend. And I can’t leave out the fact that he’s still there for me to lean on. I haven’t cut since that day he found out. He’s happy. Kai smiles at me often. But I still can’t really bring myself to smile. I don’t feel happiness currently while I’m with him. I feel relief and some trust.

            Everyone seems to have noticed that we’ve become closer. The girls are happy that I’m opening myself up a bit more.

            I got to meet the EXO members. They’re all very kind and humored. I guess… they’ll be good friends to me.

            “Have you found a new hobby yet?” asked Victoria as she walked with me out of our last class.

            I shook my head. I’ve just been spending my time watching the dancer. He gave me a note, and it’s typed. He said he was fine with keeping our identities secret to each other. Said it would be interesting. He also said that I could keep watching and that he was glad he could help me with whatever it was that he was helping with. I gave him another note, and it told him how grateful I was.

            “Well, when you find one, let me know. I’ll try it out with you!” Victoria smiled and pat me on the shoulder. “Are you staying after school today? I’m driving home so I can stick around a bit with you.”

            “Ah… maybe. I’ll text you. I just have to go to my locker real quick,” I said quietly. She nodded, walking away.

            I started walking towards my locker but veered towards the back entrance, heading towards the dance studio. I peeked in, standing on my toes to see through the window and saw that the dancer was there alone today. That’s weird. Two days in a row is lucky.

            I took out my phone and texted Victoria that my mom was picking me up early and she quickly texted back, saying that she’d see me tomorrow with a smiley face.

            I walked in, putting my bag down gently and sitting down. He saw me and gave a little wave. I waved back as he proceeded with his warm up.

            My eyes were drawn to each movement like always. I think… this is really the one time where I feel as close to happy as I can get to at the moment. His dancing always hypnotizes me, distracting me from the feelings that I feel on a daily basis. Watching him dance so expertly and with so much passion. It sparks something inside of me, and makes me want to watch more. I hate it when my mom texts saying that she’s here. But it helps with the mystery. I never see his face because I leave before he finishes.

            It kind of reminds me of how I used to paint and draw. He loves dance as much as I loved art. His dancing reminds me of how I used to feel when I painted or drew. Maybe that’s why… I feel rather happy when I’m here. And for some reason… it erases the bad memories for me for just a moment during the day. It’s enough to help. It helps me forget that the colors ever turned gray.

~Next Day~

Kai’s POV

            I guess telling the guys that the dance studio was infested with bugs helped get them out of there for a few days. Except Suho, but only until I told him that they were poisonous and exterminators had to come get rid of them. Dunno why I suddenly wanted to just let her watch for several days in a row. But the guys won’t be back in the studio to practice for quite some time.

            Every time she watches me dance, though, I can see her eyes just light up a bit brighter than the last time. I wanted to see the progress today.

            I did as I usually did, stretching before she got here, but she was here a bit earlier today. She carried her bag as usual, but a rather large sketchbook was held in one arm.

            She’s an artist? I’ve never seen her draw or paint before. I wonder how she’ll draw me (if she’s even drawing me) while I’m moving. I won’t exactly be a still model.

            Her eyes glanced at me before she nodded a greeting. I waved and watched as she sat down, pulling a pencil bag out of her blue bag and selecting a few pencils and an eraser, setting them down beside her as she opened the sketchbook.

            I did slow warm ups, watching as she slowly flipped through the pages. I must’ve stopped moving or something because she looked back up to me.

            She turned the sketchbook to me, having already flipped a few pages, and revealed… the most beautiful piece of art I’d ever seen. At least, most beautiful from a high school student. It was a portrait of a man, probably someone in his mid to late forties. Even from where I stood and looked at it from the mirror, the details were amazing and shocking. And it wasn’t a plain old black and white. The colors were so natural. The pale color of skin, the dark, navy color of his sweater, the deep, brown color of his eyes.

            That’s when I noticed the similarity. The familiarity. He had the exact same eyes and lips as Sunhi. I looked back at Sunhi to see a blank expression. She quickly flipped the pages now, showing different portraits. They were of the same man. Sometimes up close, sometimes with scenery in the background. I was shocked. This was her father. And he’d always been her model for those drawings.

            She finally flipped a page, and it was blank. Sunhi noticed from the mirror and slowly turned it back to herself, picking up a pencil from beside her.

            I then started to get into the rhythm of the music, beginning with slow movements. I didn’t make any sharp moves and kept it fluid. I looked at Sunhi briefly, noticing that the spark returned to her eyes and the pencil in her hand was making a few easy here and there on her paper. Her eyes darted back and forth, trying to sketch out something.

            Somewhere in the midst of it, I sped up with the music, making sharp moves, turns, high jumps, etc. Maybe, if I let myself dance naturally, she’d be able to sketch naturally.

            It felt relaxing, dancing at my own pace. I eventually began to block out my surroundings, forgetting that I was someone’s model for a drawing. Easing my mind.

            But time passed so quick, and my eyes darted to a sudden moving figure. Sunhi stood up, picking up her bag and sketchbook. She looked at me and flipped the sketchbook to face the mirror.

            It wasn’t just one sketch. It was four. The page was divided and in each rectangle, I was in a different position. It wasn’t in great detail. Heck, nobody would’ve recognized it was me because it was only ovals, circles, and lines. One of them seemed to be on its way to getting more detail. But she was saving it for later. It was the rough draft. And I had to say, just seeing the middle of the drawing process was fascinating. I didn’t expect this at all today.

            That girl constantly brings new surprises to me.

            She then flipped the book closed and bowed, dropping a small note and leaving.

            Once the door was closed, I ran to get the note, flipping it open.

Were you wondering why I had a sketchbook? I used to be an artist. You saw my previous sketches and drawings. I haven’t drawn in such a long time, so I was wondering if you would be okay with me drawing you. If not, tape a green piece of paper on the door. I promise that when it’s finished, I’ll show you. Perhaps I’ll leave this one black and white. Thank you for always letting me stay here while you dance.

-Me

            I smiled. Maybe I’ve helped let some light into her. She must’ve given up drawing after her father passed away. My dancing might help her return to her passion.

            Tucking the note into the pocket of my sweatpants, I proceeded with my dancing, wondering if I’d ever be able to actually see her artwork up close.

Sunhi’s POV

            It felt good… to draw again. I’m a bit rusty, but I’ll get used to it. I know that my father, along with his death, took my passion for art. But I think the dancer is helping to recreate my passion. It’s coming back. The relaxation of drawing. I feel relatively content. My life has been so calm lately… I can say that it’s been almost enjoyable.

            My friends are always there to protect and help me. Kai’s there for me to talk to all the time. And the dancer is helping to bring back my passion in life. My mother is becoming more supportive, talking to me more often and taking me places. Of course, I never talk to her about my dad or my depression… but I guess that’s just how it’s gonna go.

            It’s almost gone. That lust for death. I don’t… feel like it’s something necessary anymore. I don’t have that pained, desperate need to die. I’m improving. But there’s always an urge… that urge to hurt myself. Kai’s helped me so much… as well as the dancer… I hope that they can help me get rid of this want for physical pain. I can’t enjoy pain anymore. I know this. But it’s harder than you think. Way harder. I haven’t cut in ages, but again, it’s like a drug. The urge gets harder and harder to suppress.

            But I can’t call Kai right now. I’ll feel the guilt of bothering him too much. I have to learn to deal with this. Even if I have to somehow strap my arms down to my bed.

            I clutched my head as the thoughts began to cause my head to pound. I can’t draw right now. I just can’t. I know that when I was drawing the dancer, it felt great. But I have a feeling that if I draw anything else right now… if I’m out of my safe haven, I’m bound the bring a blade to my flesh.

            “Sunhi!”

            My mom was waving from the car, having gotten out. I must’ve paused in my walking for a bit too long.

            “Mom… hey.”

            “How was your day?” She smiled at me brightly as we got into the car.

            “Interesting.”

            “That’s new.” She glanced at my sketchbook, but didn’t talk about it at all. Is she curious at all?

            “I… started sketching just a little today.”

            She only nodded. I think she’s scared to talk about it, but I won’t push it.

            “So, how have your friends been? I haven’t met them yet. You should invite them over some time!”

            “Perhaps.” I nodded to my mom and turned towards the window.

There's some interaction with her mom in this chapter~

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~DespisedSecret