14

The Girl Who Wants Death

 

Sunhi’s POV

            It was the first time I’d heard Kai sing. Considering Chen only mentioned him rapping, I assumed Kai couldn’t sing. I think that’s what everyone assumed. But we were completely, and totally wrong.

            His voice was smooth, yet husky, and deeper than I thought it would be. The song was slightly higher pitched, but he was able to sing well enough through it. He continued singing, smiling at me as if to reassure me that I didn’t have to sing.

            Slowly, my fingers released the microphone to his hand as he continued singing, taking my hand and doing the cheesy “twirl” that so many girls would have died to do with someone. I wasn’t one of those girls, but I blushed nonetheless.

            I heard a few of the guys whistle while most likely Sulli and Krystal were the ones having a giggle fest somewhere.

            When the song ended, Luna quickly took up the microphone and tried to push someone else into singing. I walked outside of the room and was immediately followed by Kai.

            “Thank you…”

            “No problem.” He still had his smile on, walking with me to one of the empty hallways in the building. “Sorry you had to be put on the spot like that.”

            “It’s not your fault.”

            Kai nodded. “So, I hope I didn’t kill your ears.”

            The corners of my lips lifted, but I didn’t feel a need to hide it. “You didn’t. You sing very well.”

            “You don’t have to lie. Chen’s told me a ton of times that I sing like a dying dog.”

            “He’s lying to make you better. People always do that.”

            Kai looked at me skeptically. “To you?”

            I nodded. “Your voice… reminds me of my father’s. He had a similar voice range… and the way you sang resembled his.”

            “Is that bad?”

            I shook my head. “It’s… good. It brings back to good memories.”

            “No bad memories?”

            I hesitated before answering, “Of course, the bad always comes… but the good memories have been covering those up lately.”

            “That’s good.” He smiled at me again, brushing away some of my hair from my face. “It’ll keep getting better from here on out.”

            “Thanks… Kai.”

            “You already said that.” He gave me a playful smirk.

            “I mean… for helping me all this time.” His smirk turned back to his friendly smile, shrugging his shoulders.

            “I have to thank you, also. For giving me some new experiences… For gaining a pretty unique friend.”

            “Now you’re the one lying.”

            He shook his head. “Nope. Come on, let’s go back before they start to worry.”

            I nodded, following him.

 

Kai’s POV

            The moment I stepped into the room, Sehun pulled me to the side.

            “What’s going on? You haven’t let me talk to Sunhi for more than five seconds tonight,” said Sehun, slightly angered.

            “What are you talking about? I’m not forcing Sunhi away from you!” It was kinda true… Every lie has a bit of truth in it.

            “Then what are you doing? It’s like you’re the one who’s after her.”

            Was I? Yeah. But was he still after her? Yeah. So now we’ve got a dilemma. And when I didn’t answer for a good ten seconds, his eyes widened in realization.

            “You lied to me.”

            “No, I didn’t!”

            “So, what, you just suddenly realized you like Sunhi too and decided to try to get her to fall for you?” asked Sehun, his voice hushed so nobody would hear him.

            “No! I mean, yes! So what, Sehun? I’m fighting this fair. Like they say, all’s fair in love and war.” He only glared at me before straightening up.

            “Fine. Then I’m going all out. You’re not taking Sunhi from me, Kai.”

            That escalated fast. I didn’t expect something like this to happen again. “Listen, Sehun—“

            “No, Kai. This is the second time. I’m not going to forgive you so easily and just let you have the girl.” He gave me one last stare before walking towards Sunhi and Amber, striking up a quick conversation.

            I groaned, slumping down into a chair.

            “Sehun find out?” Taemin walked next to me, a cup of soda in one hand.

            “Yeah.”

            “What’re you gonna do now? Are you still gonna chase after Sunhi?”

            “What else do I do?”

            “Nothing. Just do that. If you really like Sunhi, you won’t let Sehun win this round. There’s always that feeling that you should stick by your friend. But if he was your real friend, and if you really do like her more, he’ll see that and back off.”

            “Would you ever do that for me?”

            Taemin scoffed. “Don’t think I’ve ever been, and will ever be, into the type of girls you like.”

            I rolled my eyes. “Sure.”

            He got up, leaving his cup on the low table. “Come on.”

            “What?”

            “Let’s go dance. Haven’t seen your dance moves in a while.” He smiled, gesturing to the dance floor where Chen was trying to follow Lay’s dance moves.

            I was about to get up when I realized… Sunhi could recognize my dancing. “Maybe tomorrow. I’m kinda tired today.”

            “That never stopped you before.”

            “Taemin.”

            “What?”

            “Sunhi.”

            “And?”

            “Dance studio?”

            Realization dawned on him just a bit too late before he sheepishly grinned. “Right… Then go talk to her while I own Lay’s dance moves.”

            “She’s talking to Sehun.”

            “Then join on in. She’s got no idea you and Sehun are suddenly rivals. Act like the nice one while Sehun tries to kill you with his glare.”

            “Since when’d you become so good at this? Being the evil guy and all?”

            “I’ll tell you later,” said Taemin, rolling his eyes. “Lay! Show me some of your new dance moves!”

            I glanced at Sunhi as Sehun kept talking to her, but she seemed to easily lose focus on the topic, glancing at the dancers, Sulli shyly singing with Luhan, and Luna messing with D.O. and Xiumin.

            Walking over, Sehun threw a quick glare at me.

            “Sunhi, do you want something to drink?” asked Sehun.

            “Ah… no thanks.” Polite even when declining.

            “Have you danced before?” I asked.

            “N-No.” Cute when she stutters.

            “Come on, I’ll dance with you.” I smiled as I stood up, trying to ignore the nervous feelings I had.

            “But I probably won’t even dance well,” she said quietly.           

            “I doubt you’ll dance bad. Everyone can dance.”

            She stood up, nodding and glancing back at a slightly crest fallen Sehun before walking with me to the small remaining space of the dance floor.

            Awkwardly standing there, she looked… impossibly cute. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she glanced at me to help her.

            I smiled, taking her small hands in my larger ones, just sort of swaying in place. “See? You’re already dancing.”

            “Dancing? Isn’t this what 8th graders do at dances?”

            “8th graders, 12th graders, what’s the difference?” Her lips seemed to curve up just a bit, and I couldn’t help but smile brighter.

            I let go of one hand and spun her around once, catching her hand again. “But 8th graders don’t do that.”

            Her cheeks flushed red, and that already made me feel accomplished. I think the old me would’ve laughed at the current me. It’s not like me to act like this… but hey, since I’m trying to change her, maybe she can change me.

 

Sehun’s POV

            “Why so down?”

            I ignored Luhan’s question, staring at Kai, who was dancing with Sunhi. It’s hard to believe he’d do this to me again. Isn’t there some sort of line that’s drawn to show that he’s crossed it?!

            “Sehun?”

            “What?” That came out harsher than I wanted it to.

            “If you’re upset that Kai’s dancing with her, you might as well find something else to do than just staring. It’s kinda hard for you to into that kind of situation,” said Luhan, pulling me out of the chair.

            “So I just let him take Sunhi?”

            “No. I’m telling you to let it go for tonight, enjoy the party, and then get back to your over obsession for Sunhi.” He rolled his eyes and dragged me over to talk to Suho and Victoria.

            But I couldn’t help glancing at the two dancing in the corner. Was that a smile on Sunhi’s face? No, it couldn’t be. She never smiles. And why are they dancing like that? It looks pretty stupid.

            “Sehun, just ignore them!” said Luhan, getting frustrated.

            “Why? Wouldn’t you be irritated if this was happening to you?”

            “Yeah, but I’d try to ignore it! You’re just staring at them like a love sick puppy!”

            “Guys… maybe you should calm down. Party, remember?” Suho put a hand on our shoulders, making us realize that we were talking a bit louder than we should’ve. Only Suho and Victoria noticed, though.

            “Sehun… is this about Sunhi?” asked Victoria.

            “Yeah.” Luhan replied for me, folding his arms over his chest. “And he’s acting like a little kid.”

            “Aren’t you guys always?” Victoria rolled her eyes. “Sehun… maybe you should try and find another girl… If you ask me, Kai’s already got her in his arms.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            “I’m one of her best friends. To me, it’s obvious… And I hate to break it to you, but I think Kai’s gonna win this time around.”

            “But he doesn’t like her!”

            “Didn’t he tell you he does?”

            “Just today!”

            “Wait, hold on. Anyone wanna catch me up?” Suho stood there with a confused expression, trying to find out what was going on.

            “Sehun likes Sunhi, and so does Kai. Sehun liked her first, but based on appearance at first. Kai likes her because he spends so much time with her, therefore getting to know her better,” replied Victoria. I was surprised she could say all that in one breath.

            Suho nodded for a few seconds before saying, “If Kai knows more about her, she knows more about him. You and Sunhi barely talk… So I think Victoria’s right. Kai has a better chance here… And did it ever occur to you that Kai might’ve started liking Sunhi around the same time you did?”

            “He swore he didn’t!”

            “Because he probably didn’t want to lose your friendship,” said Luhan.

            “Or because he didn’t realize it till recently,” commented Victoria. Luhan gave her a glance before she continued, “And because he cares about you as a friend.”

            “Basically, you’re all telling me to just give up on her?”           

            “Sehun… I think you should… And knowing your reaction, let me warn you: please don’t act like a child here. It’s a party, not a place for a tantrum,” said Suho.

            “I’m not gonna throw a tantrum!”

            “You are…” said Victoria, giving me a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but just… look at them for five seconds.” She glanced over to the two and her sympathetic smile turned to a happy one for just a little while.

            I looked over, only to see that Sunhi really did seem to enjoy her time spent with Kai. And Kai looks happier than he does most of the time.

            “What do I do then? Just give up?”

            Nobody answered. The only things that I heard were the laughter and music around.

            “You don’t have to… You can keep trying.” Victoria was trying to give me some sort of hope.

            “But you’ll get over it. Just like you have before.” Luhan pat my back, starting on another topic right after. He was trying to distract me, and it worked for a little while, but not for a long time. I kept thinking about how Kai won again. He wins all the time… Does he ever suffer?

 

. . .

Sunhi’s POV

            After the party, pretty much everyone seemed dead on their feet, but happy. We’d had a short gift exchange at the end of the party. Most everyone got something nice, except Xiumin, who got a pink and pale green, Christmas shirt with rhinestones all over it, courtesy of Chen.

            They all thanked me and said their goodbyes, some hoping for a New Year’s party, while others groaned at the idea.

            I was left with Kai and Amber to walk me home. Amber lived a bit further down than Kai did.

            “Have fun?” asked Amber.

            I nodded. “It was a good experience.”

            “Was it memorable to you?” Kai smiled at me.

            “Of course.”

            I heard my phone ring once and quickly unlocked it to find that Amber texted me, Have an answer yet?

            She looked at me while Kai was just looking up at the sky, warming his hands.

            I blushed, not knowing how to reply to her question. I really didn’t… It was never something I thought about, and I completely forgot about it during the party.

            There was another ring from my phone, and this time her message was, Is it Kai? Blink once for yes, twice for no, three times for being completely unsure (which will then lead me to having to torture you tomorrow or something to try and get the real answer out of you :P).

            Obviously, I blinked three times. She only rolled her eyes with a smile.

            “Do you have something in your eyes, Sunhi?” asked Kai, looking at me with a slightly worried expression.

            I could feel myself blushing again for the umpteenth time tonight and shook my head. “No, I’m fine.”

            He nodded, staring straight ahead as we neared my house. Kai opened the gate for Amber and I, letting us all walk to the front door.

            “Thanks for having this party. It was probably just a bit of torture having to go through all of the chaos,” said Amber, giving me a hug. “Good night, Sunhi!” She pat my head like Lay always does (was she picking up his habbit?), before stepping back to let Kai say goodbye.

            Kai smiled at me, brushing away some of my hair like he always does. “Hope you had fun tonight.”

            “I did. Thank you for being with me for the majority of the time…”

            He nodded. “What are friends for, right?”

            Amber suddenly rushed forward, shoving Kai a bit closer to me and pointing up. I quickly looked to what she was pointing and blushed more than I swear I’ve ever freaking blushed before. Kai followed my example, reacting the exact same way. Mistletoe.

            “It’s a Christmas tradition! Better do it!”

            “It’s not even Christmas yet!”

            “Actually,” Amber glanced at her watch. “it is!”

            Kai pulled out his phone and we both saw that it was indeed… about a half hour passed midnight.

            “See you guys! Don’t break the Christmas tradition!” She waved happily, walking off in the direction of her house.

            “W-We don’t have to… Good night, Kai.” I quickly pulled my keys out of my bag, putting the right key into the knob.

            But his hand grabbed my shoulder, gently turning me around before kissing me square on the lips. It was a soft kiss, and seemed so full of the innocence of a Christmas night. I didn’t expect him to go through with it.

            It was quick, barely lasting a second. But it was enough to turn us both brighter red than the flashing Christmas lights around my house.

            “Goodnight, Sunhi.” He smiled shyly before waving and quickly walking away, out the gate, and towards his own house.

            I rushed into my house, closing the door to find my mom sitting in the living room waiting for me.

             “How was the party?” She closed her magazine, standing up and taking off her glasses. She then saw the scarf that I stupidly left on. “This isn’t yours… Isn’t it… ah… Jongin’s?”

            “Y-Yeah… he lent it to me because I seemed cold.”

            She smiled giddily. “He’s very nice. You should invite him over more.”

            “M-Maybe…”

            “So, how did it go?”

            “It was fun. Everyone really enjoyed it. Thanks for letting us have a party.”

            My mom gave me a hug. “It’s my pleasure! Anything to make you happy.” That sentence had more meaning to us than it probably did to anyone else.

            “I can’t thank you enough.”

            “Well, there’s no need to thank me so much at once. I’m your mom! You can say thanks to me for the rest of my life.” She smiled and kissed my forehead. “And, one last question! Did you see the mistletoe I hung up? Did any of your friends kiss? It would’ve been so cute to see! But I didn’t want to bug you guys!”

            I blushed, embarrassed to find out that my mom planted the trap. She noticed my hesitance and gasped. “Oh, my baby kissed someone! This must be your first kiss, right?”

            “Mom…”

            “Who is he? Oh, tell me, Sunhi!”

            She acted so much like a high school girl that I almost laughed. “Kai…”

            “Kai?... Oh! Jongin?! Really?! My little girl’s growing up too fast!” She embraced me again, but caused me to blush because of what she was saying.

            “I think you’re over reacting…”

            “Of course I’m not! He’s my daughter’s first kiss! This is absolutely wonderful!”

            And after a half hour of endless teasing from my own mom, she sent me up to my room to finally get some sleep. But that proved impossible considering that the only thoughts I had were of how Kai so abruptly kissed me.

            I couldn’t get over it. And I was acting like every other stupid girl who gets their first kiss. That upset me a lot… but I couldn’t bring myself to just forget about it.

            When he kissed me… my heart was racing so fast, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. And the way my lips felt like they were sparking with energy was even more shocking.

            … But I couldn’t like him… could I?

 

Kai’s POV

            Why’d I do that? Just suddenly kiss her like that? And after I just figured out I liked her… I could’ve ruined our friendship with that one stupid move.

            I feel like such a retard.

            But even though I feel like I should regret that kiss, I don’t. Electricity sparked through my body the moment my lips touched hers. It felt so different from when I kissed other girls… It felt right.

            Even though it was… an amazing, yet simple kiss, maybe I’m just over thinking things like I always do. I was just too caught up in the cliché moment of it all…

            I went to bed, thinking I’d be able to just forget about it for tonight. But I was way too wrong. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about her rushed goodnight. I couldn’t forget how her cheeks flushed in such a cute way. I couldn’t forget about her soft lips that touched mine, the way her eyes stayed open in surprise. I just couldn’t forget about it at all. And the longer I was awake, the more I noticed the small details… Small details that just kept making me fall harder for her.

            Choi Sunhi, what are you doing to me?


SO CLICHE! But I just had to~!!! 

It was perfect and everything T.T!! I'm so sorry for my cliche chapters lately D:

But I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter >

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Thanks so much for reading~ Can't thank you guys enough for supporting my story :)

(This is by far my most popular story o_o)

~DespisedSecret

 

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almassbrn
#1
Chapter 22: I JUST CANT
Liajiya
#2
Chapter 16: i think i'm the one who's depressed right now. i seriously don't understand why sunhi can't just make everything alright again. it's not like kai did it on purpose or had any bad intention. if anything she's the one who wanted to remain anonymous to each other.
MY JONGIN FEELS. i can't contain it T_T
and the last scene </3
thank you for shaeing the beautiful story. now i'm off to the sequel :D
cessyness
#3
Chapter 18: Awww... poor Kai. :(
cessyness
#4
Chapter 14: They kissed under the mistletoe! XD
Aww. I pity Sehun! Kyaaaaaaaa~
cessyness
#5
Chapter 13: Aww.. Im shipping her with Kai! But I want Sehun too. What to do!!!! >.<
cessyness
#6
Chapter 12: How I wish it was that easy to know how you feel about someone. A friend knocks you out of it and tell you , you like someone or love them even. Whenever I read stories like this, I wish I had a friend who can explain what I feel, just like any other stories, right? Seems so easy...but in reality it is not. Its harder than we thought.

What the fudge is wrong with me?! >.<
cessyness
#7
Chapter 8: Awww.. crying my all pent up pain too. T.T Can I have someone like Kai? Kai would be better. XD The part where Kai told her whenever she feels like cutting herself, call him instead, It reminds me of some japanese drama. It's a bout a teacher who observes all his students though they thought he never cares. He all knows what is happening to them. And on the day he'll admit himself to the hospital he gave every student a letter. Though some of them found it weird and didn't care but eventually it dawned to them. That they're teacher was right. And one that student is just like Sunhi. And he told her in the letter that whenever she feels like cutting herself she can call him. And she did..that helped her. That drama is amazing and true. Every chapter tells and shows the reality of whats happening. I bet everyone can relate to that drama.
I just wanted to share because it reminded me of that. And it's amazing how it affected me. One thing is for sure..you are a good writer authornim. :") You moved your readers. Make them feel how the characters are feeling.
cessyness
#8
Chapter 7: Oh my!! What happen!
cessyness
#9
Chapter 6: Aww.. Sehun likes her! And I want to have friends like fx! :">
cessyness
#10
Chapter 5: Gosh...bullies.. uggh.