Kai’s POV

            Sehun came to practice with me today even though it was our day off. That probably means Sunhi won’t stay to watch.

            I guess you could say I was looking forward to it, but I was more curious about why she smiled when I made that small gesture earlier today. It was so old and cliché. Maybe that’s why.

            “Why do you always come to dance so much? Usually it’s just the first week of school when you go crazy, but now you’re coming every week day.” Sehun shrugged off his hoodie, tossing it over his bag.

            “I need more practice. Can never get enough, right?”

            He rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom really quick. Start without me.”

            I nodded, playing the music loudly and surprising Sehun. I glanced to the door before starting to warm up.

            But pretty much my luck was ruined (or given?) because Sunhi carefully stepped through the door. Her bag wasn’t with her, though I didn’t know why. I kept stretching and warming up. She didn’t sit down as she usually did, and her arms were folded.

            I remembered Sehun and I quickly ran towards the bathroom, keeping my hood on.

            He walked out of the bathroom only to bump into me. I steered him back in.

            “Hey, what’s with you?”

            “Just… stay in here until I tell you to come out,” I muttered.

            “Why?”

            “Don’t you trust me?”

            “No.”

            “Well, just try to for once.”

            I ran back out only to realize she was gone and that there was a folded note on the ground. It was pale blue with black writing scrawled across.

To: Dancer

From: …Me (?)

            Her writing was elegant, and smooth. It was pleasant just to read. I nearly laughed at how she referred to herself and me.

It’s nice watching you dance… I hope you don’t mind. It’s almost hypnotizing, you know? Do you know me? If you don’t, I won’t tell you. I think it’ll be a nice secret to keep. So don’t tell me your name either. I can’t stay to watch today… I have to go somewhere to do something. Thank you for letting me watch your dancing. If you don’t want me to anymore, just tape a piece of blue paper on the door and I won’t come again. But I just wanted to tell you… your dancing is helping me. With something that maybe I’ll tell you eventually.

-Me

            It was interesting, how she thought that I wouldn’t know her. The way she didn’t want me to know her. How she thought I didn’t want her here, and how my dancing was somehow helping her.

            It brought up a few questions, but I did’t think we’re even close enough for me to ask them. Maybe next time I’ll write a note for her as well.

            “Hey, Kai! Can I come out?”

            . Forgot about him. “Ah… yeah. Sorry.”

            “Why’d I have to stay in the bathroom?”

            “There was a huge dog in here that looked like it could eat you,” I replied sarcastically.

            “Haha. Funny.” He deadpanned. “Never listening to you again.”

            I rolled my eyes. “Fine with me.” I stuffed the piece of paper into my bag before walking over to the middle of the studio and dancing.

Sunhi’s POV

            “Sunhi, you don’t really have to show me. I trust you,” my mom said, a frown on her face. She didn’t want a reminder.

            “But what if I did? Wouldn’t you want to know?”

            “Sunhi…”

            I simply took off my sweatshirt, leaving me in a tank top, and I changed into a pair of really short shorts. She was checking for cuts. The doctors said to check on me once every month. I know they don’t trust me enough to believe I won’t cut. I won’t lie to my mom. But that doesn’t mean I won’t cut. The doctors are right to not trust.

            I rolled up my shirt to show my abdomen as well.

            My mom has to keep track of how many cuts I’ve had before and recounts them all to see if I cut myself again. To see if any scars have darkened because I might have cut the same spot again.

            I usually don’t do arms and legs. Too easy to see. But I cut my stomach, which is where my mom checked last.

            Her expression sunk lower as she counted. “At least some scars faded.” She tried to manage a smile, but it didn’t work.

            “How many?” Even I don’t remember how many times I cut myself in the past month. I cut myself a lot during the first part of the month. I haven’t cut myself in a week and a half though. Improvement? Perhaps just a little.

            “Eight more… but they look a couple weeks old,” she muttered, writing down the number and locations in a small notebook. She gently pulled down my tank top and hugged me tight. She then pulled away and asked, “Were you bullied at school?” She obviously saw the bruises on my stomach, arms, and legs, and obviously noticed my limping this morning…

            “Yes. But it’s alright. It’s over… and my friends are always with me now to keep bullies away,” I said quietly as my mom nodded. Sorry… Sorry for being such an awful child. She deserved better… I just didn’t think I could give her that.

            She only nodded. I guess she was dazed. She thought I’d changed after transferring. I’m sorry… I could’t meet your expectations, mom.

            Cutting is like a drug. You get addicted. I’ve been addicted. But I’ve been distracted lately. Maybe next month… my scar count will decrease… or at least won’t increase. But it's always hard to quit doing a drug.

            She handed me some medication for my scars and left, closing the door to my room quietly. But she said, “I’m happy that you’ve made friends.”

            My mom puts her trust in me too easily just because I’m her daughter. She leaves sharp things like knives in the kitchen and razors in the bathroom in plain sight. She always insists on not checking my scars because she thinks I’ve stopped. She thinks that I won’t try to commit suicide or let myself get beat up by bullies just to achieve death.

            I love my mom. She’s the only family I have left that loves me. I can’t push her away. But I don’t think I can stop from doing just that. She should’ve had a second, better daughter.

~Next Month~

Kai’s POV

            I’d written a note for her. I don’t really know why it took me so long, but I finished it and now it’s safely hidden in my pocket. She came to the dance studio often, and this time I had a reply to her.

            Sehun talked more to me yesterday and says he wants to get closer to Sunhi somehow. To make her smile. To find out what caused her to turn out like this, so quiet and withdrawn. He’s progressing fast in this thing called falling in love.

            I wonder if he knows I’m the one who made Sunhi smile that once. She hasn’t smiled since. If he did, would he feel threatened? To be honest, I don’t want to steal this girl from Sehun, if he has a chance with her. I’ve done it before. And he forgave me.

            I’m over thinking things again. There’s no way Sunhi could like me. Sehun’s got a better personality. He’s more handsome. She’s bound to fall for him.

            “Kai!”

            I turned and saw Lay walking towards me. “What is it?”

            “I’ve got somewhere to go after school an—“

            “Let me guess. You’ve got a secret date with that girlfriend of yours that goes to a different school and you want me to cover for you at the dance practice.”

            Lay sighed. “Dunno how you guess these things. Spot on. How’d you know I have a girlfriend?”

            “That photo of yours in your wallet isn’t really that well hidden when you pay for a meal.” I smirked as he glared at me.

            “So will you cover?”

            “Sure, why not.”

            “Thanks.” He smiled and patted me on the shoulder before walking passed.

            I wonder if any of the other guys like Sunhi. Obviously not Lay. Sehun’s covered. But I don’t really know about the others. Yet, the only ones who’ve actually met her are me, Sehun, and Kris. Would Kris like her? No, she’s definitely not his type. Kris wants someone opposite to him, and Sunhi’s definitely not it.

            Sehun’s lucky.

            Suddenly, someone crashed into me, sending us both falling.

            Before I knew it, a cliché scene suddenly popped out of nowhere as Sunhi’s face appeared just inches above mine.

            She flushed red and quickly stood up. “Sorry, Kai.” She helped me up.

            “It’s alright,” I said quietly. “Where were you going in such a rush?”

            “N-Nowhere.” Her arms were wrapped somewhat tight around her torso.

            “I’ll walk you there, so that you don’t bump into anyone again.”

            “It’s okay. I’ll go on my own.”

            “So you are going somewhere.”

            She was beginning to sweat a little and she bit her lip. “Isn’t class starting soon? You should go,” she muttered, trying to walk passed me.

            I held her back and pulled her arm away from her stomach to reveal a red, uneven and splotchy line on the front of her pale, blue shirt. I glanced at her arm, but it was covered by her sleeve and there wasn’t really any blood except for probably some that soaked into her sleeve.

            “How’d you hurt yourself?”

            She was frozen to the spot, and her face turned insanely pale.

            “Hey, are you okay?” I bent down a bit so I was nearly face to face with her. “What’s wrong? You’re bleeding and you’re going in the opposite direction of the nurse’s office.” I looked around to see that none of the students walking through the hall were really paying attention. It was loud from all the talking going around.

            Before I could react, she sprinted around me.

            “Hey!” I easily caught up to her just as she was about to open what seemed to be her locker. I grabbed her wrist and she immediately tried to pull away.

            “Just leave me alone!”

            That was the loudest I heard her speak. It definitely wasn’t what normal people would call loud, but it was loud for her. And it was directed angrily towards me. It surprised me so I obviously let go, allowing her to open her locker and grab a dark, maroon shirt, which was a harsh contrast to her pale blue shirt and jeans.

            I quickly hooked my arm around her waist, preventing her from running again. “Sunhi.”

            She didn’t look up at me, her dark hair hiding her face.

            “What’s going on?”

            Her expression turned cold as she turned to face me, and I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran up my spine. By this time, all of the students were in their classes. I swear I heard the bell ring, but I didn't really care much about it. She dropped the dark shirt and pulled slightly away, standing straight in front of me.

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~DespisedSecret