Sunhi’s POV

            I used to be so able to hide my cuts and depression. But it’s getting too difficult. It’s only been a week since I cut myself, and I haven’t done it again. Yet, every time I see Kai, there’s that guilty feeling that keeps biting at me.

            “Sunhi, you’re gonna be late for school!”

            I fixed my jacket, making sure the sleeves covered my wrists, and quickly pulled a pale, gray scarf out of my closet before swinging my bag over my shoulder. I quickly glanced in the mirror, still a bit surprised.

            My mom took me to a hair stylist right after school that day, shocked and slightly furious, though she hid it from me. She must’ve assumed it was bullying. Correct assumption.

            But she refused for them to cut the long side, resulting in ultimately… an asymmetrical haircut. You know, one side short and then gradually gets longer on to the other side? That type of haircut. I wish I’d just gotten a normal haircut.

            I went downstairs and grabbed a piece of toast off the plate. “I’ll see you later.”

            “Wait!”

            I stopped, turning around.

            “Isn’t today the last day of school before winter break?”

            It was. So I nodded.

            “Why don’t you invite some friends over for a small Christmas party on Christmas Eve?” She wiped her hands on a small kitchen cloth and walked over, brushing some of my hair out of my face and helping me put on my scarf. “You can invite up to twenty friends! I hope that includes Luna. She’s such a nice girl.”

            Twenty? I’m surprised she was able to believe I had that many friends. I was three short. And that made me laugh. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have had any friends and she would’ve said that I could invite a friend over.

            But I remember how my mom found out about my friends. Luna came over for some studying a week or two ago and talked to my mom a bit.

            “Of course.”

            “Tell them you’ll give the details in a day or two. I’ll start the planning and we can continue when you get back!”

            “Don’t you have work today?”

            She nodded. “But it’s a short day. I’ll be home a bit earlier than usual. Should I pick you up early today also?”

            “I’ll text you.”

            “Alright! Have a good day at school!”

            I nodded, quickly walking out the door, only to be more than freaking shocked by a certain person standing in front of the white gate outside my house, casually leaning back, hands in his pockets.

            “Aren’t you cold, Kai?”

            He stood up straight and smiled. “Good morning to you, too?”

            “How did you know this was my house?”

            “Luna told me. Did you know I walk by your house everyday?”

            I lifted an eyebrow, opening the small door of the gate, walking out, and closing it, proceeding to walk to school.

            “I live three houses down,” he said, walking beside me. “But I walk to school pretty early.”

            “Why did you ask for my address?”

            He laughed quietly. “Makes me sound like a stalker?”

            “Yes.”

            Kai rolled his eyes. “I wanted to talk. You haven’t really talked to me lately.”

            “And you figured the morning on my walk to school would be best?”

            “Better than nothing.”

            I only nodded, a little bit relieved that he wasn’t turning into a creeper.

            “Will you tell me… what you’ve been hiding from me lately? You don’t have to hide it from me, you know.”

            Why can’t I walk faster? “I’m not hiding anything.”

            “Sunhi…”

            “Hmm?”

            “Stop lying. You at it.”

            I sighed. Of course.

            “You’re voice goes up half an octave when you lie.”

            I hate you, universe.

            “What do you think I’m hiding?”

            “You’ve given me a week. I think you know that I’ve guessed what it is by now.”

            Nope… I haven’t really been thinking that you could figure out. I’ve been thinking about how freaking guilty I’ve been for not telling.

            “Did you cut again?”

            Smarter than he seems.

            “Silence usually means yes.”

            “Yes.”

            He nodded once, biting his bottom lip. “Why didn’t you just come talk to me?”

            I didn’t answer. A depressed girl still has pride… in some ways.

            “Ashamed? Embarrassed? Guilty? I think we’ve already covered that I won’t judge you for this.”

Kai’s POV

            I wasn’t frustrated with her. I wanted to help. And I thought I’d gained her trust. But she wasn’t willing to tell me why she cut, or why she wouldn’t tell me.

            “All of the above.” She ran her fingers through her short hair, casually speaking as she almost always did.

            “Was it because of the bullying?”

            “It was because… the pain they gave me… I enjoyed it.” She muttered the last part, like she was afraid of saying it.

            I was surprised. That last comment… I thought she was over that. It’s been over a month. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, because in her life, it probably wasn’t enough time to get over that pleasure in pain. But I was still shocked.

            The rest of the walk was quiet. We both didn’t speak, but that probably made things worse.

            Before we walked onto school grounds, I pulled her arm gently. “Next time, please just trust me. Tell me what happened, and don’t feel guilty, or embarrassed, or anything like that. Like I said, I’ll be there for you.”

            She shook her head. “I can’t keep coming to you for this.” She spoke quietly and didn’t look at me, her eyes turned towards the ground. “I don’t want you to feel my pain and depression.”

            “It’s okay. I don’t feel burdened by this, and I’m not depressed!”

            “Why are you so desperate for me to keep coming to you?”

            Did I sound desperate? Most likely. “You’ll start cutting again, won’t you?”

            “Did you start talking to me and listening to me because you thought you would be able to make a huge impact on my life and help me come out of my depression?”

            “No. I mean, of course I wanted to help you stop this depression… but if you think I’m doing this because I want to tell people that I helped you out of this, you’re wrong. I’m not doing this to brag to others after. I don’t even think it’s something to brag about. I’m not selfish like that, Sunhi.”

            She didn’t reply. She only nodded, muttering a sorry.

            I smiled. Why was I so forgiving? I should’ve yelled at her or something, for thinking I was a self-centered bastard. But I didn’t.

            “Hey, Sunhi.”

            I turned around, coming face to face with Sehun, his eyes on Sunhi and his lips pulled into a smile.

            “Good morning.” Sunhi nodded. She noticed how he didn’t greet me and paused. “I have to go ask one of my teachers a question before homeroom. I’ll see you two in class.” Before we could reply, she walked away, leaving me with the rage of Sehun.           

            But it’s cold rage. Not hot. He simply brushed passed me, slamming into my shoulder.

            “Sehun.”

            He kept walking, resulting in me grabbing his arm and pulling him back. “What the hell?”

            I glared at him. “Would you just give me a minute to talk to you?”

            “Why?” He pulled his arm away and faced me, staring coldly back.

            I looked to see if Sunhi was far enough out of hearing range. “I’m not trying to steal Sunhi from you.”

            “How could I even believe that?”

            “Because she’s not into guys like me.”

            He waited for me to explain.

            “She told me.” . I don’t think I’ll be able to dig myself out of this.

            He raised an eyebrow. “Why would she tell you?”

            “Because… I tutor her in English.” .

            “You tutor someone?”

            “Yeah.” This is too hard to believe. But please, whoever the hell is out there, let Sehun believe this crap I’m spouting.

            “And you got close to her by tutoring her?”

            “Yeah.”

            He sighed. “I almost brought a chainsaw to school just to take your head off.”

            I laughed, trying to cover up my relief, and hooked an arm over his shoulders. “Come on, let’s go to homeroom.”

            He smiled, rolling his eyes.

            I glanced at him and smiled back. “She likes… happy guys.” I assumed…

            “Happy? That’s pretty general.”

            “She’s not picky.”

            “You’re happy.”

            “She just doesn’t like me. I’m not as outgoing as she’s looking for. Seems like she could’ve fallen for you at first sight.” Why am I burying myself even deeper in this?

            Sehun couldn’t hide his smile.

            “Just… let me talk to her for you.”

            “You’d really do that?”

            “Sure.”

            “Where’s Kai and what’ve you done to him?”

            I rolled my eyes. “Let me try and get her thinking more about you.”

            “Dunno if I should say thanks.”

            “You should.”

            “Thanks.” He punched my shoulder as we both walked into the school.

Sunhi’s POV

            “You… what?”

            “I’m pretty sure you’re smart enough to understand the situation.”

            “Kai.”

            “What?”
            “You’re a retard.”

            “I realize that I was at that time. But hey, it’s true that I’m better at English than you are.”

            “You really expect me to go through with this?”

            “You’d save my life.”

            “I’m not sure if I’m in the mood to save any lives today.”

            I glanced at Kai before sighing and nodding. “Can we get to homeroom now? It’s weird that we’re both going to the bathroom at the same time. Couldn’t you have just texted me about this?”

            “That risks for more trouble we could get into.”

            I rolled my eyes. “I’ll go in first. Follow in about a minute or two.”

            “Wouldn’t it make sense if I went in first?”

            “Why?”

            “Girls take longer in the bathroom than guys do.”

            Really? As in, did we really have to follow that theory right now? “Fine.”

            He smiled at me sheepishly before disappearing around the corner and back into the classroom.

            I waited only a minute before walking in casually, sitting down in my normal seat, with Kai in front and Sehun next to me. He cast a few glances towards me, turning back to his paper that he was writing things on.

            A small piece of paper landed on my desk and it was from Kai.

Act shy. Look at him a couple times. Make it believable?

            I wrote a quick reply.

We’re trying to make it seem like I don’t like you. Not that I like him.

            Tossing it back, I sighed in relief when the teacher’s eyes didn’t land on me until after the note was on Kai’s desk.

            He passed it back quickly.

Right…

            I scribbled a bit on the paper, then writing a “Do not return” note at the end.

I’ll just start talking to him more often and hang out with you less with him around. I’m doubting whether you’re as smart as you seem to others.

~Don’t return~

            The bell rang and I quickly put away my notebook and pencil.

            Sehun stood up and was about to walk away when I grabbed his sleeve. I have a feeling I was gonna regret this.

            “Sehun… will you help me with my science studying later during lunch?”

            His eyes seemed to light up a bit. “Sure.”

            I nodded thanks before following him out the door with Kai close behind. He tapped my shoulder and gave me a thumbs-up. I sighed, shaking my head.

            After our “deep” conversation this morning, I definitely didn’t expect him to ask me of this right afterwards. I mean, I owe him, but I didn’t think it’d be something like trying to convince Sehun that I’m 1. into guys like him, and 2. not into Kai.

            But like I’ve said before, and even Kai pointed out, I at lying. Which means that I won’t be able to pull off a good charade, at least not long. God, Kai what have you gotten us into?

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