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The Girl Who Wants Death

Sunhi’s POV

            First day of classes was boring. I didn’t see Kai or Sehun afterwards… no classes in common. A few girls approached me, but no matter how much I really tried, no smile appeared on my face and they sort of gave up after the “Hi.” and “What’s up?”

            During lunch, I just sort of walked around. I didn’t feel hungry. But hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to starve to death. That’s even more pathetic than overdose.

            There were a few classrooms that interested me, like the music and art room. I used to love painting. But the colors all turned a dull gray for me. I used to play the piano. But the notes all turned monotonous to me. I don’t want a reminder of that. I don’t want to experience the dullness of it again.

            After lunch, classes strolled by at a slow pace. Everything was boring and the same as any other school. Introduction, syllabus, do whatever you want for the first day of class, leave for your next class. For some reason, I thought a new school would be a good, fresh start. But I was incredibly wrong. It was just as awful as my previous school.

            And then came the part of the day when my mom wanted me to look for clubs, teams, or anything to keep myself a bit occupied after school. She gave me two hours, which was when all the after school stuff ended.

            I didn’t really know where to look. No art. No music. I checked out the sports teams, but all of their tryouts occurred before the school year even started. A bit late for that. I checked out the clubs, but most of them were music or art related. There was an animal club… but damn, those people were freaks. I love animals, but I bet if I asked them if they’d be willing to have a kid with an animal, the vast majority of them would say yes. Sorry for the disturbing image. Just trying to get the point across.

            I took a quick look at my map, noticing a small little square a little ways from where I was. It just had the number 333 on it. I took my time walking there since I still had half an hour till my mom would get here.

            The campus had pretty, open space, and plenty of fresh air. It was calming since not that many people were walking around. But calm makes room for me to think deeply. And that makes me think more of my depression. I bet you don’t know what it’s like, for this depression to haunt you night and day. To want death as badly as I want it yet being unable to achieve it because of a damn fear.

            I pretty much forsake my slow pace and sped towards the building, and it had the words “Dance Studio” scrawled across the door in elegant cursive. A dance studio? I’ve never danced before. Never really been interested. None-the-less, I walked in, and was immediately hit with loud music. Sound proof to the rest of the world. Nice.

            There was only one person dancing. Wonder why. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a black hoodie, the hood pulled up. I couldn’t tell who he was, but he paused for a second before continuing.

            Why was I still in here? He’s obviously too busy to talk to me. But… I was, for some stupid reason, compelled to stay. I watched as he danced, each movement so elegant that it seemed like a dream.

            His steps seemed so precise, yet casual at the same time. Everything flowed together in an ongoing river of movement. Each spin, jump, slight flick of a wrist or wave of the arm was so fluid and… the movements mesmerized me. I was hypnotized by the dancing.

            I set down my bag and sat down on the floor, watching as he danced. He didn’t seem to mind me sitting there. So I stayed, ignored the music, and focused on his dancing.

            The entire time seemed as close to magic as I had ever been. As close to enjoyment as I had been in, in what seems like ages.

            And then my phone vibrated. I glanced down and saw a message from my mom, telling me she was here. I pulled myself up, swinging my bag over my shoulder. I glanced at his moving figure once before tearing myself away and out the door.

 

Kai’s POV

            She just came in and sat down, watching me dance. I thought she’d leave if I ignored her. But I glanced at her once in the middle of the song and noticed that… there was this sparkle in her eyes. A sparkle that definitely didn’t exist this morning. She seemed so absorbed in my dancing that I just kept going.

            She didn’t speak to me at all. I didn’t try to talk. But I kept my hood up as well as I could. As far as I knew, she thought I was just some random guy dancing. But a few minutes before I was gonna finish, she just got up and left.

            I stopped dancing the minute she left, sweat dripping down my face.

            Why did she just randomly come in then leave? Is she interested in dancing? No, she didn’t seem to want to get up and do anything at that moment. She didn’t seem to want to join in. A dancer would have.

            What was she doing?

            She probably wouldn't come again. I was over thinking things like always. But that sparkle… I was curious, again, about her. Was she curious about me? The guy she saw dancing? Who knows.


Erg... the title is awful >< Sorry about it!

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Sorry for the short chapter D: the next will be longer!

Thanks so much for reading!

See you guys in the next chapter :3

~DespisedSecret

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Comments

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almassbrn
#1
Chapter 22: I JUST CANT
Liajiya
#2
Chapter 16: i think i'm the one who's depressed right now. i seriously don't understand why sunhi can't just make everything alright again. it's not like kai did it on purpose or had any bad intention. if anything she's the one who wanted to remain anonymous to each other.
MY JONGIN FEELS. i can't contain it T_T
and the last scene </3
thank you for shaeing the beautiful story. now i'm off to the sequel :D
cessyness
#3
Chapter 18: Awww... poor Kai. :(
cessyness
#4
Chapter 14: They kissed under the mistletoe! XD
Aww. I pity Sehun! Kyaaaaaaaa~
cessyness
#5
Chapter 13: Aww.. Im shipping her with Kai! But I want Sehun too. What to do!!!! >.<
cessyness
#6
Chapter 12: How I wish it was that easy to know how you feel about someone. A friend knocks you out of it and tell you , you like someone or love them even. Whenever I read stories like this, I wish I had a friend who can explain what I feel, just like any other stories, right? Seems so easy...but in reality it is not. Its harder than we thought.

What the fudge is wrong with me?! >.<
cessyness
#7
Chapter 8: Awww.. crying my all pent up pain too. T.T Can I have someone like Kai? Kai would be better. XD The part where Kai told her whenever she feels like cutting herself, call him instead, It reminds me of some japanese drama. It's a bout a teacher who observes all his students though they thought he never cares. He all knows what is happening to them. And on the day he'll admit himself to the hospital he gave every student a letter. Though some of them found it weird and didn't care but eventually it dawned to them. That they're teacher was right. And one that student is just like Sunhi. And he told her in the letter that whenever she feels like cutting herself she can call him. And she did..that helped her. That drama is amazing and true. Every chapter tells and shows the reality of whats happening. I bet everyone can relate to that drama.
I just wanted to share because it reminded me of that. And it's amazing how it affected me. One thing is for sure..you are a good writer authornim. :") You moved your readers. Make them feel how the characters are feeling.
cessyness
#8
Chapter 7: Oh my!! What happen!
cessyness
#9
Chapter 6: Aww.. Sehun likes her! And I want to have friends like fx! :">
cessyness
#10
Chapter 5: Gosh...bullies.. uggh.