Namsoon’s POV

The words I couldn’t say until now were still unsaid. I stared at this closed gate not knowing what I waited for. I took me a while to be able to go home.

On the next day I happened to be the first in class. I didn’t sleep well again and I usually did in school, so I thought I might be able to get some sleep here. I dropped my bag, sat down, lay down, closed my eyes and hoped to fall asleep. But I wasn’t lucky today. The door creaked as it was opened. I slightly opened my eyes and glanced. Hakyung came in, looking at me quit surprised. Of course, no one would usually see me before the bell rang.

“Miracles still happen…I knew it.” She said smiling.

Hakyung was usually arrogant, but in fact she was nice and hard-working. I wondered why she even talked to me. It wasn’t annoying, but still, I wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes again but I heard her footsteps.

“Yah, don’t sleep. Study instead! At least bring the right books…”

“Aish, you are noisy. I wanna sleep.”

“Sleep at night, your grades are too bad. At least try.”

She dropped a book on my desk.

“Song Hakyung, stop it…at least lower your voice…”

She sighed, but at least, she kept on scolding me with a lower voice. I just slightly smiled to make it seem like I listen to hear, but I didn’t listen to even one more word. I was too tired, thinking too much about Heungsoo. I finally apologized. However, it’s too late. I regret I didn’t have the strength back then…maybe we would have made up quickly. But do I really want that? As long as Heungsoo is fine, I should be happy…is he happy? He doesn’t seem to be… I glanced at Hakyung. Ah, she’s still talking…what did she say? Don’t know…ahhh, I don’t care…What should I do? I don’t know anymore. Should I avoid him or should I keep on trying? What would be the best? …Aish, why is this so complicated? My head hurts…Heungsoo-yah…I miss you. I admitted to myself.

The bell rang, telling the kids it was break. Kangjoo came over to me immediately. Why are they annoying me so much today?

“Namsoon-ah…I’m sorry…I didn’t want to bother you the other day…I was just worried about you.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t nice either…sorry.”

“No, that’s alright” she smiled and pinched my cheek. “Are you really okay? You lost weight lately.”

Did I? “Ah, really? I didn’t notice it.”

“Common, let’s eat together” she pulled me up. That girl was stronger than she seemed. Scary.

“I’m not hungry…I don’t feel like eating.”

“Yah, stop arguing like a child and follow me!” Kangjoo grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the room all the way to the canteen. I really didn’t like to eat with others. Since the day I started to eat with Heungsoo I rarely ate with others. I didn’t want to. If it wasn’t Heungsoo, I didn’t like it. Still, I accepted it this time, reminding myself I had to eat in order to live, in order to repay my debt.

After we finished eating we slowly went back to the classroom. I still didn’t like the noisy kids everywhere, but I got used to it. Kangjoo kept on telling me stories she found funny, but I didn’t really pay attention, just smiled and raised my brows at the right times. Go Namsoon, you really should pay more attention to the people. Again lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice that Kangjoo suddenly stopped and looked at me seriously and pouted. I almost bumped into her. How should I’ve expected her to stop? We stood in the middle of the stairs. I looked at her in confusion.

“Yah, are you even listening? I’m telling you the funniest story I ever heard and you don’t even chuckle!”

Why are girls always that annoying? I sighed quietly and avoided her gaze. My gaze went up the stairs. My heart skipped a beat. I froze. W-what…Hakyung and Heungsoo were…were kissing.  What’s…that? I gulped heavily, felt a sharp pain in my heart. I held my breath.

“-soon-ah…Namsoon-ah” Kangjoo waved her hand in front of my face to gain my attention, but she failed. She followed my gaze instead, quieted down afterwards. I felt my jealousy and pain grow every second. I clenched my fist so hard that it hurt, ran up the stairs and pulled him away from her.

“Stop it!” I shouted.  My body started trembling lightly and my eyes filled with tears. My mind went blank. Also I couldn’t feel anything but pain and jealousy. My body had moved on its own. I didn’t want him to touch her, I definitely didn’t want it! Please...don’t do it. Heungsoo coldly smirked and seemed satisfied with my reaction.

“Are you jealous, Go Namsoon?”

I froze again. What…? ...did he find out? I gulped again. This couldn’t happen. He mustn’t know.

“I’m…sorry…” I stuttered before running away once again. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand myself behaving like that, I couldn’t stand seeing him kissing someone…Kangjoo called my name over and over again, searching for me, but I hid well. That was the only thing I was really good at. I couldn’t stop a few tears from falling. I was too obvious, too silly and too immature. What right did I have to behave like that? I should be happy for him, but I was jealous and acting like I was his potential lover. Apart from being a man, I was the bastard who ruined his life. Of course, he would never even think about something like that. Go Namsoon, pull yourself together. You said you wanted to help him, not ruin his new love and making things worse. I stayed in my hideout for a while, skipping class once again.

After everyone left I returned to the classroom to grab my bag. I took it and left school quickly. My body felt heavy, my head was dizzy. Every step I took was exhausting. I looked to the ground, not wanting to face the world today. But then it happened. I bumped into someone, I had never wanted to see again. I looked at that dark haired, tall guy. Han Taesun. He was one of our gang members back then. He was the one who had made me go crazy that time. I really planned to never see him again. But now I did. It seemed like he found a new gang. There were three other guys, all of them wearing similar clothes, all of them having a tattoo of a dragon on their left arm.

“Oh! See who I just found, my old friend, Go Namsoon!” he patted my shoulder, I pushed his hand away.

“Yah, yah. What’s with that behavior? Are you greeting an old friend like that? That’s not really nice.”

“What are you doing here?” I wanted to sound as annoyed and confident as possible, but my body was weak, my mind was weak, I failed.

“You look exhausted, Saekki-yah.” Taesun said grinning, hitting my face lightly. “Wanna join us? I could need a good fighter like you.”

I let him do as he pleased. “I don’t want to. Just answer my question, why are you here?”

He hissed. “Son of a …alright, because we were friends, I will tell you. I search that bastard, Park Heungsoo.”

My heart skipped a beat. “What? Why?”

“I just don’t like him and we need money. He’s weak now, too. An easy target.”

He actually had no real reason. Bastard. “You can get money from others, don’t bother him. Didn’t we hurt him enough already?”

“Wae? Did he die? He’s just not able to play soccer anymore. He was overreacting from the beginning. Don’t mind him. Instead, tell us where he is so we can take his money. That bastard owes me some anyway. He never paid me back.”

I wanted to hit him. He was overreacting? How could he even say something like that? How could he really think something like that? I wanted to kill that guy. But if I started a fight now I would’ve ended up being beaten up and that wouldn’t have helped Heungsoo in anyway.

“Forget about him. I will pay you back.”

Taesun seemed amused. “What? Are you still following him around like a dog? Aigo~ Namsoonie you shouldn’t be like that.”

“Shut it. I just want to repay my debt. I’ll keep my word.”

“You didn’t change at all, Saekki-yah. Always covering up for things Heungsoo did, never even telling him about it.” He sighed. I seemed to be too obvious again. “Alright, alright. Bring the money to me tonight, I will send you the address and the amount later. Gimme your phone.”

I didn’t like the fact he was typing in his number and called himself, so he got mine, too. But I preferred that over him searching for Heungsoo. That bastard knew no mercy. If he really ended up finding Heungsoo, it would’ve been bad. I didn’t want him to get hurt. I looked at him once again before he left. I sighed and continued my way home. I felt like my body got heavier every minute, but I had no time caring about such a thing. I went straight to the little box I put the money my father sent me in. I didn’t have that much left, but I guess it should be alright. Just then I got a message. “Go to the park near the river at 10 PM, bring 500.000 won with you.” What?! 500.000 won?! Which student would’ve so much money?! That crazy bastard. I will kill him! …ah, I can’t…Heungsoo-yah. I didn’t have that amount of money and not enough time to get it either. I clenched my fist and hit the wall with all the strength left in my body. I felt a bittersweet pain, I liked it. After a while I changed my clothes, took all the money I got, got my scooter and drove to the place I was told to come.

It was dark. I couldn’t see well, but figured the black creatures were the boys waiting for me. As I came closer, they smiled satisfied.

“You are really well-behaved, Namsoon-ah. I didn’t think you would actually come here.”

I didn’t say anything, just took out a wad. Taesun grinned and reached out to accept the money. I quietly gave it to him, shove my hands into my pockets and waited. Unfortunately, Taesun counted the money and quickly found out it wasn’t the amount he asked for.

“Yah, michyeosseo? It’s not even half of what I ordered you to bring!” he got angry.

“That’s all I got.“ I replied uninflected. I couldn’t care less what he wanted or what he was going to do now.

“Are you making fun of me, Saekki-yah?” of course that thickheaded bastard wouldn’t believe a word I said. This time I didn’t reply. After a second I felt the first punch in the face, the next thing I felt was a kick in the back, so I fell down to the ground. I groaned in pain. They continued to beat me up, showing no mercy whatsoever. It hurt, but I liked it. I preferred this pain over the one I felt when I looked into Heungsoo’s cold eyes.


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sooo...i admit..i have NO idea about the money in korea xD i dunno what amount is big and what is not and such, so i just chose a random number i thought  was nice x'D ( i compared it to the amount of money it would be in my country)

finally my exams are over !!*celebrating* i have time to do what i want now, and i really wanna continue writing ff's :D hope it wont bother anyone that i update too often xD 


again..thanks for everyone who reads this story >< reading your comments makes me happy~ :) i hope you continue liking this story ~ gonna update again soon :P 


I have another question for you! i wanna write another story. i already have the plot in my head but i cant decide on the couple. I wanna have jongsuk in it for sure, but i'm not sure about the second male lead..either woobin or kim soohyun (dream high, the moon that embraces the sun) i saw a pictue of them together and ahh i dunno. tell me your opinions ~ :) <3