Namsoon’s POV

“Let’s talk and properly make up”, Heungsoo suddenly said out of nowhere. Dumbfounded I just nodded and followed him to a small playground. We sat down on the swing and I dropped my gaze. Silence. Of course, I was the one who had many things to explain, so he kept quiet. I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry…” I mumbled, staring into space.

“For what?” Heungsoo replied with no emotion in his voice.

“…for suddenly attacking you like that…and such…”

“That is nothing to be sorry about.”

I gulped, knowing what he meant. Hesitantly, I glanced at him, but looked the other way again.

“…I’m really sorry about what happened 3 years ago…” I clenched my fists, seeing all those horrible moments once again. “I never meant to crush your leg, it was a mistake…”

A short moment of silence, then he replied coldly. “Because it was a mistake; because it was your fault, what difference does it make?”

“Because it makes no difference…I’m sorry.” My eyes filled with tears once again. “I’m sorry to death…”

“Didn’t you have a wonderful life after you abandoned me back then? Jungho told me about it.”

“What did you say? Jungho said what?” I knitted my brows, remembering what Jihoon had told me. Jungho was going to make Heungsoo suffer even more, just to hurt me. That bastard. I’ll kill him.

"Whatever. Also, don’t get beaten up for me again. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Heungsoo-yah, wait, I–“

“Go Namsoon.” He turned around and looked into my eyes. “I want to make up with you, but I need time. I can’t forgive you just like that. So don’t bother me too much while I’m thinking about it.”

These words calmed me down a little. It seemed like he still wanted to make up with me…I was relieved. Though I was hurt that he played with my feelings, he had every right to do so and I couldn’t really be mad at him anyway. Moreover, now I knew that Jungho was toying with him, too and I felt sorry for Heungsoo. He had been through a lot of trouble in his life. He really didn’t deserve it.

“I’m going. Go home, Saekki-yah. It’s late.” He said before he left me behind.

I just watched him leave before I went home myself, decided to kill that bastard Jungho.

I was a little late and hurried to school. I wanted to get hold of Jungho before classes started. Luckily, I didn’t even need to search for him, because he suddenly cut me off on my way to school, hands in his pockets, smirking, before he grabbed my arm and dragged me into a side street where we were alone.

“Saekki, you–”

“Shut up, Saekki-yah.” I interrupted immediately and shoved off his hand. “Don’t you ever dare to toy with Heungsoo again.I’m seriously going to kill you bastard.”

“Aigo~ the dog trying to protect his master. Cute.” He hissed.

So did I. “Yah, don’t you think it’s pathetic to make me suffer just because he doesn’t want you?”

“What did you say?” his voice changed. I wondered if Jungho was actually in love with Jihoon, so I was going to try to find out now.

“He likes me, not you. And you can’t accept that. It’s pathetic. Do you really think anything will change if you hurt me? He’ll just be sad.”

“Leave Jihoon out of this, Saekki-yah.” His expression darkened as he collared me.

“I didn’t even say it was Jihoon though.”

Now Jungho was dumbfounded. I was right…so he actually likes him…

“Look, I don’t care if you are going to bother me, but leave Heungsoo out of this.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I like him.”

“What?”

“I’m gay and I like Park Heungsoo.” I confessed. He was my enemy, someone I really disliked, someone I’d gladly never see again, someone I couldn’t trust. However…I understood the pain he felt, I understood the horrible situation of an unrequited love. I somehow felt sorry for him. Jungho seemed to be confused now.

“Why are you telling me that?” he asked.

“Because I want you to stop. I’d do anything to stop you hurting him. Even if it means to tell you the secret no one knows, even if you are going to turn my life into hell. I don’t mind. Just leave Heungsoo out of this, Jungho-yah…I beg you.”

He hissed and shook his head, slowly loosened his grip and let me go. “Aish, why are you like that? I don’t like it.”

I slightly smiled. “Sorry.”

Jungho sighed and looked at me. “It’s too late though…”

“Mwo?” I knitted my brows.

“I stole something from a gang and put it under Heungsoo’s desk…I told them I saw him steeling it and where they could find him…they are going to beat him up tonight…”

“…michyeosseo?!?!” my heart skipped a beat. He was going too far. Way too far. Heungsoo could get hurt seriously, he can’t even defend himself well.

“Yah, I told you. Just do something about it.” Jungho said, gave me a piece of paper with an address written on it and left.

I didn’t have time to deal with him and just hurried to school, ran into the classroom immediately. All the kids looked at me in confusion. Heungsoo was about to sit down as I slightly pushed him away and searched for the stolen item right away.

“What are you doing, Saekki-yah?”

“Nothing.” Ah, found it! It’s a purse…aish, that bastard. I hid the item and glanced at Heungsoo before running out of the room. I heard him call my name, but I couldn’t waste even a minute.

After a while I finally arrived at my destination, totally out of breath. I ran the whole way, terrified they’d search for Heungsoo if I was too late. He told me to not get beaten up anymore…but if that’s what I can do to help him, I will gladly do it. I’m sorry, Heungsoo-yah. I prepared my mind for what would happen and walked in confidently. A bunch of men looked at me in surprise. I didn’t know who I should talk to, so I just took out the purse and waited for someone to react.

“Yah, why do you have my purse?!” one of the men suddenly stood up and approached me. “Are you that bastard who stole it?!”

“Yes, I am. I’m Park Heungsoo.”

“You must be crazy kid. Coming here on your own.”

I narrowed my eyes, took a deep breath and kneeled down. “I’m sorry.”

“Is that all bastard?”

And then it already started. They beat me up. And I quietly let them do as they pleased. I didn’t mind. Somehow it reminded me of the old days, letting the gang members beat me up so I could join them. I really wanted to be closer to him. I slightly smiled sadly. In the end, we ended up like this. I really miss him…

After some while they finally stopped beating me and roughly pushed me out of the room. I fell to the ground, groaning in pain. I had wounds all over my face and I was bleeding. It hurt like hell. At least I live.

“Namsoon.”

My heart skipped a beat. Heungsoo…why is he here?

“Get up, let’s go…” he pulled me up and helped me to get out of the building. I was hardly able to walk and still groaned in pain, but I was somehow happy that Heungsoo had followed me and was by my side now. He supported me all the way to my house. He slowly let go of me and looked into my eyes.

“Will you continue to get beaten up for me, Saekki-yah?”

He seemed angry, really angry. I sighed, tried to suppress the pain and talk properly.

“Uh…if that’s all I can do…”

“It doesn’t change anything!” he raised his voice.

“Then let me pretend it does!” My mind went blank. I knew he was right and I knew that I wasn’t of any use. But I wanted to help him no matter what…and I couldn’t let him get hurt because of me either. Even if he was going to hate me even more, I would still continue to do it. Tears flooded my eyes.

“I will do anything for you! Because I am the guy who ruined your leg, the guy who ruined your dreams, I-“

Heungsoo gripped my collar. “You should have been like this before…Other than soccer I only had you…When my future in soccer was ruined and I wanted to die, you should have at least been by my side, you bastard!”

Now his eyes were slowly reddening and filling with tears. My heart skipped a beat. I felt no strength left in my body whatsoever. A tear ran down my cheek. To see Heungsoo like that, to see the pain in his eyes, it was a torture. I'm sorry...

“Regardless…!” he shouted, shedding the first tear and continued in a tearful voice. “You should have been there…”

I could hardly breathe. My chest hurt like hell. How much pain must he have felt…because of me…I gulped heavily, unable to stop the tears from falling. I'm sorry...

“That’s why…what I’m saying is…!” he shouted again, unable to control his emotions.

“Didn’t you miss me, you bastard?” Heungsoo slowly loosened his grip and looked straight into my eyes.

I burst into tears and sank to the floor. Heungsoo-yah…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…Unable to speak I sat there sobbing, crying my eyes out, feeling all the love he still felt for me…

 

finally a new chapter :D ....i somehow feel like i at writing it though...i hope it's not as bad as i feel about it...hope you like it ><  please leave a lot of lovely comments <3 i appreciate every single one