Heungsoo’s POV

Seeing this lost kitten bursting into tears twice was horrible. But I was glad, hearing him say those words made me relieved. Because he was scared to lose me…I slightly smiled and stood up, sat down beside him and took his hand, interlaced our fingers. Namsoon leaned against my shoulder, continued to cry. So, he is actually gay…he should have told me earlier. He must’ve worried all the time. Aish, Saekki-yah…How much did you suffer all this time? Suddenly I felt Namsoon’s grip loosened and his head was about to slip off my shoulder. Ah…he fell asleep. I made sure that he would sleep in a comfortable position and grabbed his jacket, which lay beside him on the floor, and used it as a blanket, carefully covering him with it. A sigh left my lips before I leaned my head on top of Namsoon’s carefully. I closed my eyes and after a while I fell asleep, too.

I didn’t know why I felt this happy to see that bastard smile again, however, I really liked it. When I told teacher Kang that we had made up Namsoon’s eyes widened and he followed me, smiling brightly. Ah…finally. My lost kitten suddenly didn’t seem lost anymore and followed me around the whole day. …wait…did I just say “my” lost kitten? I slightly shook my head and hurried to get my food tray and sat down at an empty table. Of course, Namsoon showed up immediately and sat down, too. I really missed that, I admitted. Back then, Namsoon was the same, always following me, always by my side, eating together, sleeping together, but then fate sundered us and I was lonely, way too lonely. And now everything changed once again.

“Heungsoo-yah” Namsoon suddenly mumbled.

“What?”

“I need to piss…”

“Have fun.” I said and went on ahead to the classroom. Does he really need to tell me every little thing? When I was just about to open the door Jungho grabbed my wrist and drew me aside.

“What the –?

“Yah, where is Namsoon?”

“Why do you want to know?

“Don’t ask me questions and answer, Saekki-yah.” He seemed annoyed and anxious.

“He’s just on the pot. He’ll be back soon.”

“Aish.” Jungho suddenly headed to the restroom.

“Yah, wait. What’s the matter?! Can’t you even wait a few minutes?!” I followed him immediately.

“No, I can’t.”

Before Jungho could enter the restroom I got a hold of him and pushed him against the wall.

“Let go of me, Saekki-yah!” He hissed angrily.

“What’s your ing problem?!”

“None of your business!”

“It is!”

“What do you even know?! You are the only clueless bastard! And now let me go!”

Jungho shoved me away roughly and instantly went to open the door. He suddenly didn’t move anymore, his expression darkened. I knitted my brows and slowly came closer, following his gaze. I froze. Namsoon…and…Jihoon…were kissing. Oh my god. I felt weird in an instant and pulled Jungho away, who accidently slammed the door loudly. Before I could say anything he hurried to get away from me and went down the stairs. It seemed like he left school...whatever. What the hell did I just see? Namsoon…shamelessly making out in the restroom…with Jihoon? A shiver ran down my spine. I really felt weird…Did I have a problem with Namsoon being gay? Was I disgusted? …I didn’t know, but somehow I didn’t really like it. My mood was ruined, definitely ruined. I quietly went back to class and sat down. The bell rang and teacher Jung was just about to start her lesson as Namsoon and Jihoon came into the classroom together, both apologizing and sitting down immediately. I stared into space, slightly clenching my fists. Wait…did Namsoon lie to me just to go and make out with Jihoon? Did he really lie to me…? He did…Yah, didn’t Jihoon join Jungho all the time to bully him? What the hell is Namsoon even thinking?!

Okay, I had to admit that I might have overreacted a bit. Maybe Namsoon had lied to me to not make me feel uncomfortable. And he just told me that he was gay, maybe he was too shy to tell me he had a boyfriend. I still didn’t get why it had to be that bastard, but that was none of my business anyway. After classes finally ended I went straight out of the school, I just wanted to go home.

“Heungsoo-yah!” a voice suddenly called me.

I turned around and looked into the pure eyes of the kitten.

“Let’s go home together.” He slightly smiled, seemed a little anxious.

“Wait, we have to talk, Namsoon-ah…” Jihoon appeared, grabbing his wrist so he couldn’t leave.

“Let’s talk later…”

“No, we need to talk now. Come on…”

The bastard looked at me and I swear he looked like he wanted to kill me. I was slowly getting into a bad mood again.

“Just go with him. I don’t need you to walk me home.” I said coldly and turned around again, leaving. The last thing I heard was Namsoon quietly mumbling my name, but he didn’t try to stop me. The guy, who felt so sorry towards me, followed me around and all, didn’t even bother to try to stop me more than once? Just right after we made up? Because of that punk? Really? Bastard. Without looking back I went home.

Next day. When I woke up at the morning I felt weird. I had the worst dream ever. But whatever. It was just a dream anyway. I thought about yesterday. Namsoon had tried to call me several times, but I didn’t want to talk to him and didn’t take any call. And today, I planned to avoid him, too. I still didn’t know why I was mad, but I was, so I wouldn’t bother to force myself to stay by his side. He had Jihoon after all, hadn’t he? However, when I opened the door to leave the house, Namsoon stood there, hesitantly glancing at me. I rolled my eyes slightly before passing him and walked to school – well, wanted to walk to school.

“Heungsoo-yah…are you mad?...” he asked so quietly while following me, that I almost didn’t hear him.

“No.”

“Of course, you are. I can hear it…I’m sorry…I really wanted to walk home with you, but Jihoon needed to talk to me…”

Playing innocent now? “None of my business. As you see, I still live though I went home alone.”

Suddenly Namsoon grabbed my wrist. “Heungsoo! …I don’t know why you are that mad at me now…but please…don’t be like that, hm? I apologize…so…don’t be mad at me…please.”

His grip tightened and he couldn’t look into my eyes. I sighed, seeing the dark circles under his eyes. He probably didn’t sleep. Since I didn’t know why I was mad either, I felt a little guilty and felt like I should apologize, too. “Alright, sorry. I’m just mad in general.”

I ruffled his hair like I used to do and immediately gained a cute smile from him. He hesitantly let go of my wrist and walked beside me now. We ended up walking to school together and guess who was waiting there already? Jihoon. Great. The person I wanted to see the most today…not. I glanced at Namsoon, who looked a little like he felt uneasy. Maybe he was worried I’d find out, not knowing that I already did.

“Guess he needs to talk to you again” I said sarcastically and just went on ahead. Thinking about it, it might have been a little obvious that I knew now. Whatever. The classroom was already full of noisy, annoying kids, so I decided to wait outside of the room to avoid them for a few more minutes. However, I regretted that immediately when I saw Namsoon and his lover coming closer. Without thinking, I hid, so they wouldn’t see me. Instead of going into class, they went to the restroom again. Don’t tell me…I gulped…before I could think about why I did what I did, I followed them secretly. Luckily, they left the door ajar so I could observe them without being noticed. I didn’t see well but that was okay. Namsoon suddenly pushed Jihoon against the wall, leaning in, whispering something into his ear. They were close…too close. There was no space left between their bodies and Namsoon’s head was now lying on that bastards shoulder. They looked intimate…I felt weird again and god, I didn’t like it. Why the hell did he choose a guy like Jihoon? Not that I knew him that well, but I knew he was bullying Namsoon with his friends and the fact that he was close to Jungho was weird enough. And it wasn’t like he had no choice. Namsoon was a nice guy, and he wasn’t ugly either…no, he was actually really cute and maybe a little handsome. He could have had several other guys. On top of that, even if he might not intend to do it, Namsoon would slowly forget about me. After all, we hadn’t seen each other for years and when we saw again we fought. If he had to choose, of course he wouldn’t choose me. He wouldn’t choose me... I really didn’t like it.

I couldn’t bear this view anymore and finally went into the classroom. The rest of the day I avoided Namsoon again. And most of the time it went well. He just followed me during break, but he didn’t try to talk to me, so I could bear the situation. Later, teacher Jung wanted to talk about me after school ended, because she didn’t believe teacher Kang, who told her we made up. So, I said it to her again. However, she looked suspicious. Maybe I’d had been suspicious, too. I was in a bad mood all the time and Namsoon probably felt a little weird, too and didn’t look too happy either. She told me she was worried about us and if we needed help we should call her. I just nodded and went back to the classroom to get my bag. The kids were gone already, but to my surprise, Namsoon was still there. He lay on the table, most of his face covered by his arms. Somehow, he looked exhausted. Does he sleep? I quietly approached him and whispered. “Go Namsoon…”

No reply. I tried it another time, but again got no reply. I assumed he fell asleep due to lack of sleep. Seeing him like that, I felt bad. I wanted to make up with him, because I hated to see him hurt and exhausted, and now it was the same situation again. And why? Because I unreasonably got angry at him, though he didn’t do anything wrong. I had no right to judge his boyfriend either. I sighed, thinking I was a bad friend. I crouched down. Slowly, I reached out and carefully touched one of the bruises on Namsoon’s cheek, remembering that he took the beating for me once again, feeling guilty and bad again. This lost kitten had done so much for me and I? What did I do? Getting mad at him, avoiding him. Nice. Carefully, I began to caress Namsoon’s cheek.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered.

All of a sudden, I thought about the weird dream I had tonight…Namsoon and I were lying on the floor, as usual reading manga and joking around. However…suddenly I bend over him and pinned him onto the floor so he couldn’t move, started to kiss him…His lips were soft and he was kissing me gently…I blushed. Why did I think about it now? It was their fault though. If I hadn’t seen them yesterday, I’d never dreamed of something like that! …still…I was a little curious. Actually, I had kissed him before, but because I was worried about him too much at that time, I couldn’t even remember how it felt like now. He was sleeping now…wasn’t he? Why shouldn’t I try…? He wouldn’t know…

“Namsoon-ah…” I whispered once again, and still got no reply. I bit on my lower lip and looked around, making sure no one was watching. Slowly, I leaned in, softly pushing my lips against his – at least at the part that wasn’t covered with his arm. Suddenly thinking how stupid I behaved again I backed off, just to notice that Namsoon was now staring at me with wide open eyes.

next chapter is up :D due to your great support I enjoy writing this story again. I had more writing my other Jonbin story but now I enjoy both again xD so thank you for your support :D i hope you still like it <3 the next chapter is also going to be in Heungsoo's pov :) 

[random picture of jongsuk sleeping because he is just too cute >___<]

AND I wanted to ask if you want to have a chapter about Jungho :) because i'm not sure if i will tell about him otherwise xD just let me know