Heungsoo’s POV

After I left the hospital I only had a few hours left to sleep before going to school. Teacher Jung wasn’t mad at me that I skipped classes today, knowing I stayed by Namsoon’s side. However, she told me to attend classes starting from tomorrow again. So I went back home and plunked myself down on my bed. It didn’t take long until I fell asleep.

On the next day I went to school as always. That troublemaker Jungho observed me the whole day and I didn’t really get why. I decided to ignore him and stared into space as usual, thinking about that incident two nights ago. I ended up kissing Namsoon…Though I just did it to calm him down, I felt weird. Why did I choose that way to calm him down anyway? I sighed and lay down on my desk, decided to not think about it anymore. We were in the middle of making up and that was the only important thing at the moment.

When classes finally ended I was on my way to the hospital. However, that troublemaker cut me off and stared at me rather pissed. I glanced at him as annoyed as he was.

“What?”

“Are you going to see that bastard again?” Jungho asked, obviously meaning Namsoon.

“None of your business.” I wanted to run past him, but he grabbed my wrist and held onto it tight.

“Saekki-yah, aren’t you going too easy on him? He was the bastard who crushed your leg and now you are crawling back to him?”

I didn’t wait a second to grab and punch that bastard right in the face with all my might. Jungho fell to the ground, wiping away the blood on his lip. He chuckled. “Yah, does that change the fact that you crawl back to him? I don’t think so. Ah~ it’s so sad. He had an awesome life before you appeared while you were hurt and all alone. He didn’t even care I guess. Now, because he is scared of you, he tries to act as the victim who just tries his best to give his former friend a treat. That bastard is a good actor, isn’t he?”

“Just shut up, Saekki-yah.”

I didn’t want to listen to him. Not even if he was telling me the truth. Without saying another word I headed towards the hospital and tried to forget about that incident. I failed. My mood was totally ruined. I felt my anger growing again, thinking about the day that bastard left me and never came back. However, he helped me and lay in the hospital because of it. So I decided to pay him visits every evening, no matter what.

We ended up not really talking to each other. I barely looked at him and the whole situation was just awkward. Jungho’s words didn’t leave my mind and it was hard to figure out whether he wanted to make fun of me or wanted to tell me the truth. Just one day ago I really wanted to make up with that guy, but now I didn’t know anymore. The whole week passed like that. On the last night I quietly paid the hospital bill as I promised and went home.

I sat quietly on my seat as always as Namsoon entered the room. The kids literally ran to him worriedly, asking about his condition. I didn’t. Honestly, I saw him every day, I knew his condition. The next thing that happened was that Jihoon dragged Namsoon out of the room. What does that bastard want from him? I was more curious than I would have admitted, but I didn’t go after them. Instead I sat there quietly, waiting for their return, clenching my fists. Somehow I didn’t really like this situation.

Namsoon came back first and sat down. I wondered what happened since Jihoon came in a few minutes later with a miserable expression. Of course, I wouldn’t ask. Instead I quietly observed Namsoon until classes were over.

After school I decided to take a walk. I had to think about too many things and I hated being in my small silent room. I thought about all the things that happened recently and also about the past.

-       4 years ago     -

“Saekki-yah, what are you still doing here? It’s late.” I said.

“I will stay over tonight” Namsoon answered while taking off his jacket.

“Yah, my sister will be mad. It’s the eighth night already!”

“Ah~ so tired” Namsoon lay down and closed his eyes, pretending to be dead tired and not able to listen anymore.

“Namsoon-ah…yah…aish, always behaving like a stubborn child.”

No reply. I sighed. Actually I didn’t mind him staying over. I got used to him being around all the time anyway. Ever since he became a member of our group we were rarely apart from each other. This lost kitten found his home, my home. We got closer every day and I knew how lonely this guy actually was, so I let him stay over almost every night. My family didn’t mind it, I was just teasing him. I wanted him to admit that he didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to part with me. However, Namsoon never did. My lost kitten was too stubborn to do so, and so was I. Honestly, I felt lonely as soon as he wasn’t by my side anymore, but of course, I wouldn’t admit that either.

“Heungsoo-yah…” Namsoon suddenly muttered.

“Hm?”

“Thank you…”

I was surprised. Aigo…how cute. I ruffled his hair and covered him with a blanket. “Sleep well.”

He smiled and closed his eyes. Eating, playing, sleeping. We lived an easy life like that, my best friend and I.

-       Back in time   -

I sighed. I really missed the old times. I missed my friend. But it wasn’t that easy. There was no way for me to just go to him and tell him that. After all, he was the one leaving me, too. And now I didn’t even know if I could trust him anymore. No matter how much I wanted to, I doubted him. I shoved my hands into my pockets and headed home. It was pretty late and my sister would be dead worried already. When I was on my way I saw Namsoon leaning against a wall, obviously waiting for me. However, I was not in the mood to talk to him right now. I also didn’t want to see his sad eyes again. So I decided to run past him. But all of a sudden Namsoon cut me off, collared me and squeezed me against the wall. I was caught off guard. He looked at me with a fierce expression. I calmly looked into his eyes. That wasn’t like him. Unable to maintain eye contact, he avoided my gaze, still holding on to my collar.

“Aren’t you going to let me go?” I asked.

“Heungsoo-yah…say…”

“What?”

He gulped at looked at me again. “Are you toying with me?”

I hissed and got slightly pissed now. “What are you talking about?”

“Did you really kiss Hakyung just to hurt me?”

Why does he know? I took a deep breath.

“Mh.” I admitted.

His eyes widened and he looked hurt. Namsoon slowly let go off my collar and looked down.

“What, do you hate me now? Do you wanna hit me? Just do it if you feel better then, Saekki-yah.” I smirked slightly.

“That’s not the problem. Why are you doing that because of a bastard like me?!” he suddenly shouted, collaring me again.

Now I was a little confused. I stayed silent.

“Why do you ruin your relationship with our classmates because of me?! Don’t do that anymore…if you wanna up my life, then don’t involve yours in it, Saekki-yah!!”

I shoved him off. His eyes were teary and he avoided my gaze again immediately. What was this guy even thinking? Did he just tell me to toy with him as long and my own life won’t get affected by it? Aish, that bastard. I ran past him. I didn’t want to talk to him in the first place. However, my body stopped on its own as I remembered his teary eyes, his hurt expression. No matter how much I refused to care, I did. I just didn’t like it, no, I hated seeing him hurt. Even though I wanted to hurt him, even though I planned to kill him a thousand times, even though he might lie to me, I still didn’t like it.

“Aish.” I turned back and hurried to grab Namsoon’s wrist before he was able to go. “Wait.”

He looked at me, still had this hurt look on his face. How could this lost kitten be able to lie? Though he left me alone, I didn’t want to believe that he was just acting and pretending to be nice and hurt. Seeing him like that, I was sure he was sincere, or maybe I just wished he was…

I sighed. “Namsoon-ah…let’s stop this.”

“…What?”

“Let’s talk and properly make up.” Because I miss you…


 

next chapter is up~~ ^o^ hope you like it!!