I really didn’t care whether Gongchan slept over or not. My sister is an adult and she makes her own decisions.  The only thing on my mind was Sandeul and Jinyoung.

I was currently on my way to meet up with Sandeul. We were meeting at a nearby park and the curiosity of what he wanted to talk about was killing me. The only thing that came to mind was does he know about Jinyoung and me.

                I spotted him near the water fountain. He had a black cap and sunglasses on. I approached him and sat on the same bench. We were both quiet as I waited for him to speak.

“Hi.” He finally said.

“Hey.” I replied. It became quiet again. “It’s everything okay?

“Yeah. Why?” he questioned.

“Um.” I was confused. “You said we had to talk and now you’re all quiet.”

He smiled awkwardly. “Yeah. I think Jinyoung hyung might have gotten the wrong idea.”

“Wrong idea about what?” I asked. I know what he meant but, I wanted him to say it.

“That we… That we have something going on. Like… together.” His sentences weren’t properly formed but I got his point.

I looked down at my hands which lay on my lap and took a deep breath. “It’s that so wrong?”

I can’t believe I just asked that.

Sandeul stood silent for what seemed like forever and I grew more nervous after every passing second.

“Do you think it’s wrong?” He questioned after breaking the silence.

I was so nervous; I just wanted to run away. However, I knew it was now or never. “I don’t think it’s wrong at all.”

Sandeul looked surprise. “Why not?” he asked.

Is he serious or is he acting clueless?

“Because, I actually like you… I like you a lot.” After confessing my feelings, I couldn’t bring myself to look at Sandeul.  I could tell I was blushing by the disturbing heat I felt on my face. Oh god, what have I done?

“I had no idea.” Was all Sandeul said.

Is he serious? It was so obvious. Wasn’t it?

“I guess I should go.” I stated as I stood up.

 I was about to walk away until Sandeul grabbed my wrist and kept me in place. “Wait.” He said.

I continued to look foward, avoiding looking at him.

“What?” I asked after hearing nothing from him.

Sandeul noticed my annoyed tone and quickly replied. “I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Nervous about what?” I questioned, trying to pull my hand free, but Sandeul grabbed it with even more strength.

I felt Sandeul tug at my wrist causing me to stumble unto him in the bench. I look up and his face was very close to mines.

“About doing this.”

Before I could say anything else, Sandeul’s lips were blocking mines. I literally felt my heart skip a beat and my breathing got caught in my trachea. Sandeul s his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I was even more surprised when I felt his tongue enter my mouth. I let all my worries go and I kissed back. Soon, we both pulled away, a confused look on my face.

“Whoa.” I said in a state of complete shock.

I really didn’t see that coming.

“I know.” Sandeul said as we both stood up.

I was trying to find the words to say, however, I just could bring them out from my lips. So, I just didn’t say anything.

“I kind of want to kiss you again.” Sandeul commented with a chuckle and I turned my head to look at him.

This was all happening too fast.

I blushed.

“I’m hungry.” I whispered quietly.

He stared at me with those Sandeullie eyes and I lost all breathing capability.

“I’m hungry too.” He whispered back and we both laughed at how obscure it was that we were whispering at each other in the middle of a park about being hungry.

“You’re always hungry.” I joked.

“I am.” We kept laughing.

                We argued for a bit to where to eat and what to eat; we ended up deciding to eat Chinese and go to the hotel. Before we walked away, Sandeul grabbed my hand and I felt my heart in my throat.

                As we made our way to the Chinese restaurant to pick up our order all I could think of was ‘for God’s sake, please don’t let nobody recognize him.’

                I felt as if I could finally breathe when I saw the entrance of the hotel. I looked at my hand and Sandeul was still holding it. I looked at him and he gave me the sweetest smile. Was this really happening?

                I used my key card to open the room door. The door opened to reveal Cathy and Gongchan at the kitchen table. They stared at us.

“Sandeul and I are watching a movie in my room.” I announced.

“We brought extra food.” Sandeul said eyeing their table. “I guess you can eat it tomorrow.”

“Come on.” I tugged at Sandeul and he followed.

                Last thing I saw was Cathy and Gongchan’s confused expression. I don’t blame them I would be confused too. I laid a clean towel on the bed and Sandeul and I got ready to see the movie. We carefully placed the takeout containers on the towel and grabbed our chopsticks and a plate. I was hungry but with the butterflies in my stomach it was difficult to eat. However, hunger won. Not Sandeul, he dived in like nobody’s business.

                The movie was supposed comedy. I didn’t really get the humor. However, I kept laughing every time Sandeul laughed. His laugh was too funny and contagious. I still felt awkward and confused about us.

“What are you thinking about?” Sandeul suddenly asked and I came back to reality and realized Sandeul was staring at me.

“About nothing.” I shrugged.

Suddenly my phone vibrated with a small ‘beep’. I grabbed it from the night stand next to the bed and unlocked it.

Oh god, it’s Jinyoung.

From: Jinyoung

                Hey, what are you doing?

I quickly replied.

From: Jessy

                Not much. Why?

Then, I quickly re-locked my phone.

I placed the phone in between my legs and looked to my side to see Sandeul staring at me.

“It was my mom.”  I said trying not to sound suspicious.

“Oh.” Sandeul nodded, and then added. “Isn’t it like 6am over there?”

“It is.” I chuckled nervously. “She wakes up early for work.” Which is true.

My phone vibrated and I clenched my legs. I had disabled the volume.

“Keep watching the movie. I need to use the restroom.” I said trying to sound sweet and innocent.

Sandeul nodded while he stuffed his face with food. I would had laughed if I wasn’t so distracted.

I quickly made my way to the restroom and got inside the bathtub. I was thankful the TV was loud in the room because I dialed Jinyoung’s phone number.

“Hey.” I heard him answer. “You saw my text?”

“Yes, I saw your text.” I said in between clenched teeth, trying to keep my voice down. “You can’t just text people ‘We need to talk. I miss you. I miss the smell of your skin. It’s inappropriate.”

“Don’t be like that, Jessy.” I hear Jinyoung’s sweet voice. “And why are you whispering?”

“I’m not whispering.” I whispered. I’m so dumb.

“Yes you are.” He accused. “Are you with someone? Is Sandeul with you?”

I freaked. “No and I have to go. Bye, Jinyoung.”

I hanged up and placed my phone in silent. I turned the facet on, washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror.

“Jessy, chill the out.” I said to myself. “You can’t let things fall out of your control.” I took a deep breath and walked out the bathroom. There he was, still eating.

“Are you okay?” Sandeul suddenly asked after swallowing.

“I am.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t notice how flustered I was.

“Come finish eating.” He smiled and I mentally screamed at his cuteness and my stress.

How can things be so good and so bad at the same time? I made my way next to Sandeul and finished eating my food. After we were done we lay back against the bed rest and watched the movie. I felt Sandeul shifting, but, I just kept my gaze on the TV. I was nervous enough and felt awkward enough without having to look at Sandeul so close to me.

I was suddenly startled by Sandeul grabbing my hand. I looked up at him and he gave me a sweet comforting smile. What is happening to me? Accordingly, I am the experience one while Sandeul is lacking in the dating area and he’s doing all the work. Speaking of, are we dating? Nothing has been said. So confusing.

“Hello? Jessy?” I heard a voice said distantly.

I came back to reality. “What did you say again?

“Wow, when you’re out of it, you’re really out of it.” Sandeul laughed. “Someone’s knocking on the door.”

I know paid attention to the door and indeed heard the light knock. I quickly got up and skipped towards it; opening it to reveal Gongchan with his arms crossed.

“Noona, can I speak to you?” he said politely.

Oh no, am I in trouble?

I looked at a movie concentrated Sandeul and slipped out the room.

“Yes?” I said calmly as I made my way closer to Gongchan.

“Jinyoung was just here.” Gongchan said. My jaw dropped.

“Did he leave?” I asked.

“Yeah. He looked kind of tense. He was asking for you and Sandeul.” Gongchan explained.

“What did you say?” I questioned. I was freaking out now.

“I lied.” He shrugged, his arms still crossed. “I said you weren’t here or Sandeul. I hate lying to hyung but I had a feeling things were going to turn bad if he knew you and Sandeul were in your room. Together. Alone.”

I took a loud sigh. “Channie, I don’t know what to do with Jinyoung?”

Gongchan also sighed. “I don’t know, Noona. But, it looks like you and Sandeul are getting closer. Don’t let Jinyoung hyung be the one telling Sandeul what happened between you two. Believe me, he won’t take it well.”

I desperately brushed my hair with my fingers. “I don’t want to put any of you guys against each other. This is not a stupid Spanish soap opera.” I groaned.  “I need time though… and Jinyoung probably thinks I’m with Sandeul.”

Gongchan shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m getting involved in this… but, call Baro and tell him to say he is with Sandeul if Jinyoung ask. Baro went to the mall today and it will buy you some time.”

“I can’t call Baro and ask him to lie for me!” I half-shouted. “He’s going to want to know why he’s lying.”

“What else can you do?” Gongchan inquired, a stern look on his face.

I sighed. I guess I have no choice. I grabbed my phone, unlocked it, and looked up Baro’s number. Too soon I heard a “Hello.” And I nearly hung up.

“Hey, Baro.” I said nervously. “How are you?”

“I’m good, just buying some shoes. You?” I could hear the mall’s people chatter through the phone.

“I’m a little stress but overall okay, I guess.” I felt as if my words became gibberish as I spoke them.

“Oh.” I heard Baro say. “Is there anything I can do?”

I can’t tell Baro the truth; he’ll hate me. I won’t assume everyone will be as understanding as Gongchan.

“Yeah.” I began slowly; thinking of a white lie I could use. “If Jinyoung calls you and asks you if Sandeul is with you, can you say yes?”

“Sorry for asking… but, why?” Baro replied and I could tell he felt uncomfortable with the task. I hate myself right now.

 I couldn't come up with a white lie so I just told him the best excuse I could. “Can you just trust me, please? I promise to explain later.”

For some reason, I felt like a spider. I was just threading a big web of lies and I don’t even like lying.

“Okay.” He replied skeptically.

“Thank you, Baro. You’re the best.” I was so thankful Baro was willing to help me.

“I won’t argue with that.” He chuckled. “We’ll talk later, Jinyoung is calling me.”

Oh !

“Okay, bye.” I said quietly.

“Bye.”

I wanted to bang my head against the wall. What the heck am I doing? I looked at Gongchan with tear filled yes.

He took a deep breath and opened his arms. “Come here.”

I hugged him tightly and a few tears spilled.

“Jessy.” I heard my sister say. “It’s going to be okay.” She rubbed my shoulders.

I nodded and pulled away from Gongchan, carefully wiping under my eyes. “Let me get back to the room. Sandeul is probably wondering why I left.”

They both stared after me as I entered my room and was out of sight.

“Everything okay?” Sandeul asked when he saw me come in.

“Everything’s fine. They just needed help with something.” I replied. “What did I miss?”

                Sandeul began explaining as I sat in the bed but my mind went somewhere else, I began thinking of what I’m going to do and when am I going to do it. Maybe I should speak with Jinyoung first…

 I came back to reality when I realized Sandeul wasn't talking anymore.

“Okay, I get it.” I replied, pretending to have understood every single word he said.

“Good.” Sandeul grinned.

                I tried to relax for the rest of the movie. However, I just couldn’t. Ten minutes after the movie was over, Baro showed up. He needed to arrive with Sandeul to the dorm for the lie not to fall apart. I just hoped Baro could pull this off. Gongchan was also leaving with his hyungs so he quickly kissed Cathy ‘goodbye’. It was funny how flushed they both looked afterwards.

                Sandeul turned towards me and smiled. “I’ll text you later.” He then hugged me. I guess he wasn't ready to say anything to the others yet…

“Jessy, can I used your restroom please?” Baro asked politely.

“Sure.” I guided him into my room and to the front of the bathroom door.

“Meet me tomorrow at 10am in the coffee shop in 3^rd street. We need to talk about this.” He said quickly.

 I nodded. “Okay.”

                I left and Baro went into the bathroom. Soon they were all gone and it was just Cathy and me in the living room.

“Did you imagine things were going to turn out like this two weeks ago?” Cathy asked as she slumped next to me on the sofa.

“Nope.” I said, feeling defeated. I took out my phone and did the inevitable.

From: Jessy

                Jinyoung meet me at the park tomorrow at 7pm. We need to talk…