A light breeze swept by us, I shivered.

"You're cold." Sandeul said as he looked at me with a sympathetic expression on his face. "I wish I would had brought a jacket."

"It's okay, it's not like you could predict the weather." I replied as I hugged myself.

"Maybe if we sit closer, we can get a bit warmer." Sandeul suggested.

I wanted to object but, I was so cold. I get cold easily.

I nodded as I looked up at him. He scooted closer to me and rested his arm on the bench behind me. I felt a bit warmer, especially having Sandeul so closed to me. As we sat there, Sandeul suddenly began singing. It was so beautiful, even if I didn't understand anything.

"We should head back to the room." I suggested, trying to sound as calm as possible.

As we walked back to the hotel I looked up at the moon. I wonder how it looks from back home, even though it's daytime over there.

"Homesick?" I heard Sandeul suddenly asked.

I turned my attention to him.

I guess he could see the confused look on my face. "I used to get like that when I first moved to Seoul."

I gave him an understanding smile and replied. "I guess when you start having a new life somewhere else, you begin to remember you had an old life and miss it." I shook my head. "I know I'm not making any sense right now."

Sandeul chuckled. "I kind of get it, my English is not that bad."

I chuckled along with him. "You have actually improved since I first met you. Probably it's all this practice."

"All thanks to my English tutor." He joked.

I laughed as I began having flashbacks of that day.

We approached the hotel and I began feeling a bit... sad. I didn't want the night to end, but all things need to come to an end. I opened the door and noticed Cathy wasn't there yet.

"So do you want to come in?" I asked shyly.

"Sure." Sandeul looked at his watch. "It's not that late. I'll wait for Gongchan and go home with him."

I smiled to myself from excitement. We both sat on the couch and began talking.

"Gongchan and I are like brothers, so if he and your sister date I'll be like your sister's brother-in-law."

'A brother-in-law that I have the hots for.' I thought to myself. I chuckled nervously.

I have to say something, I need to tell Sandeul I like him.

"Sandeul." I said, determined. "I need to tell you something?"

I suddenly felt very nervous, my heart wanted to jump out of my chest.

"Yeah?" Sandeul questioned, giving me all his attention.

I felt lightheaded. I took a deep calming breath. Sandeul seemed oblivious of my intentions. I was about to open my mouth to speak when the room door opened. Cathy and Gongchan stepped in, they looked happy. I noticed their fingers were entwined. I'm guessing the date went well.

I frowned to myself. Couldn't they wait ten more minutes to come back?

"Omo, you both look so cute." Sandeul squealed.

I think omo means 'oh my god'. Thank you Korean dramas for my scarce knowledge of the Korean language.

I could see both of them blushing. I had to admit they did look cute. You know, in that couple kind of way. I'm funny, I laughed to myself.

"Sandeul hyung, were you waiting for me?" Gongchan asked.

"Yeah, we can go home together." Sandeul replied.

We all stood there looking awkwardly at each other. Gongchan gave Sandeul a look and Sandeul spoke.

"I'll let you say goodbye to Cathy. Jessy do you mind walking me to the hallway."

"Sure." I shrugged. I know he just wanted to leave them alone.

We both stood in the hallway. I was leaning against the wall and Sandeul stood across from me.

"They look adorable. Don't they?" Sandeul commented with a smile.

"They do." I replied, looking at the floor then at him.

"I wish I had a girlfriend, we could do cute couple things together. Go to the movie, get ice cream, or go to an amusement park." Sandeul said melancholically.

I glanced at him then at the ground. We have done some of those things together. We could do cute couple things together.

"Hey Jessy, weren't you going to tell me something?" Sandeul said as he interrupted my train of thought.

"Yeah," I began, trying to think what else to say. "I was going to tell you I'm doing my secondary application from the medical school here. That was possible all thanks to you."

"No problem, that's why I'm here for." He chuckled.

I faked a smile. Why is my chest aching? Is it because I'm holding my feelings in?

Suddenly the room door opened and Gongchan stepped out.

"Noona." He grinned, then turned to Sandeul. "Hyung, can you wait for me by the elevator I need to talk to noona about something regarding Cathy."

Sandeul frowned but did as he was told. "Bye Jessy, I'll see you later."

Gongchan turned towards me after he left. "Noona, I know."

Know what?

Gongchan grabbed my shoulders and looked straight at me. "Don't worry I won't tell hyung. I'll bring you up to him a lot in conversations so he'll have you in his mind."

What is he talking about?

"I'll help you with Sandeul hyung."

"Cathy told you?" I said disappointment in my voice.

"Don't be mad at her." Gongchan lightly squeezed my shoulders. "Your secret is safe with me."

I sighed and nodded with a weak smile.

How did I get to this point?

"Bye, noona." Gongchan hugged me, taking me by surprise. I quickly became comfortable and hugged him back.

I watched as he reached Sandeul at the end of the hallway and they both boarded the elevator.

"Clear your mind Jessy." I said to myself.

I walked in to find my sister laying in the middle of the living room floor, staring at the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm just relaxing, taking everything in." She replied, her eyes glued to the ceiling, a smile on her lips. "Join me."

Why not? I shrugged. I walked towards her and laid on the floor. I took deep breaths.

"Maybe I should live more for the present, instead of thinking so much of the future or even the past." I mostly spoke to myself.

"I agree." My sister added. "When I'm with Gongchan I don't think about anything except what's happening there and then. School is not in my mind, my job is not in my mind, and all my worries just fade away."

"That's some real , Ca." I grinned. "You really like him, huh?"

"I do." She grinned widely.

"Just enjoy it." I also smiled. However, my smile quickly faded, I sighed. Sandeul was on my mind.

"Jessy, go for it." My sister suddenly said.

"For what?" I questioned.

"Sandeul. I know what you're thinking and don't worry so much about it. Things will fall in place and what happened with Jinyoung is in the past. You were just having a rough time, things happen. At least you had fun right?"

"I did." I chuckled. "We'll see what happens Ca."

She raised her arm, palm facing my way. I raised my arm, connecting my palm with hers, our fingers intertwined.

*******************

Who's calling me at this time? I really wanted to sleep in today.

I groaned as I reached over my phone. Jinyoung?

"Hello." I answered.

"Good morning, Jessy. Oh, did I wake you?" He asked when he noticed my tired voice.

"No, I'm awake." I lied as I threw myself back on the bed.

"I'm just calling wondering if you and Cathy wanted to hang out with Baro, Gongchan, and me. Sandeul and CNU are going to a radio show today." He's voice seemed so sweet. Kind of great to wake up to.

"Sure." I replied as I stood up and walked towards the bathroom. "What are the plans today?"

"We were thinking of just hanging at the dorm. Watching a movie, relax." Jinyoung suggested.

"That sounds good. This is a stay at home kind of weather." I said as I looked out the window at the gray sky.

"Okay, see you later."

****************************

As Cathy and I approached the dorm door Sandeul and Shinwoo were heading out.

"Hey, Jessy." Shinwoo said as he hugged me. "Hey, Cathy." He hugged my sister.

My sister and I both both said 'hi' and he walked down the stairs.

"Hey, Cathy." Sandeul hugged my sister.

”Hi." She replied.

”Go ahead, Gongchan is waiting for you." He added and my sister blushed, and made her way inside the dorm.

”Hey. ” Sandeul said as he turned to face me.

"Hey." I replied shyly.

Sandeul then proceeded to give me an awkward hugged that left my heart racing.

"I come back at 6:30pm, do you want to hang out later?" Sandeul suddenly asked. I could tell he was a bit nervous.

I pretended to think about it. I really wanted to shout, HECK YES! But, I controlled myself.

"Come over the room. Cathy is hanging out with Gongchan, I'll be lonely. ”

He chuckled. "I'll be there."

”Good luck on your radio show. I would listen but I won't understand.” I said as I looked at the ground then back at him.

"Don't worry I'll give you a recap tonight." Sandeul said as he looked back at me. His gaze could burn right through me. ”Shinwoo is waiting, I'll see you later."

"Bye." I waved and watched as he went down the stairs.

"Jessy are you coming in?"

I turned around to see Jinyoung standing at the door.

"Yeah." I smiled and made my way in towards Jinyoung, I hugged him and he hugged me back. I haven't had any physical contact sorry him since that night. I could feel as he tensed up but quickly relaxed. As my arms were wrapped around his waist, I had a flashed back of his face as I stood on top of him that night. After the dirty memory left my mind, I quickly left go.

  Baro sat in the living room, playing a video game. He stood up as soon as he saw me and hugged me. "How you've been?" He asked when he pulled away.

”I've been great and you?" I replied with a polite grin.

"I've been awesome." He said jokingly and we both laughed.

"Noona!" I heard Gongchan shout as he approached me with Cathy. When he was closed enough he wrapped his arms around me.

"Gongchan." I replied, chuckling. "How's my favorite maknae?"

”I'm great." He grinned widely. "Noona, later we’re watching a scary movie. The hyungs already cover the window for it to be scarier."

"Sounds good." I nodded.

Gongchan then turned to my sister. "Cathy, come with me to the store. I want to buy snacks."

"Okay." Cathy replied, not taking her eyes off him.

"Ja, wait." Baro called getting up from the couch. "I want to buy something too."

"Okay, let's go." Gongchan said as he made his way with Cathy to the door, Baro followed behind them.

"And then there were two." I said under my breath.

"What?" Jinyoung asked in confusion.

"Oh nothing. Can you please give me some water?" I asked politely.

Jinyoung went into the kitchen and served me a glass of water. I took it and muttered a "thank you."

I couldn't help but to feel uncomfortable being alone with Jinyoung. It's not that I expected or thought he would me or try anything. He's piercing eyes just made me nervous.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking." I heard Jinyoung say. I snapped out of my trance and turned my head to look at him.

"How do you need I was thinking about something?" I asked smugly.

"You do this thing were your eyes just look into space and you look so spaced out." He laughed. I scolded him but, then laughed.

"Now that I think about it, you're right. I do do that."

It was nice… laughing together. I felt comfortable.

We stopped laughing. There was long moment of silence before Jinyoung spoke again.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, intensely looking me in the eye.

I choked on my word and couldn’t find myself able to speak or even correlate the right words to say. Do I say yes? Do I say no? Do I tell him about my feelings for Sandeul? Does he like me? Is he ?

He must have taken my silence as a ‘yes’ because before I knew it he was leaning in with his eyes closed. I panicked; I didn’t know what to do. In the middle of my breakdown, It felt as if Jinyoung was leaning in slow motion. Maybe this is a survival phenomenon; my mind is working in quick mode so I can figure a solution. However, with all this rambling I’m wasting precious time. Like a gift sent from above, the door flung open and Jinyoung jumped back.

“NOOONAAA!” Gongchan shouted. “I brought you something.”

“Gongchan, you’re so childish at times.” My sister said as she entered the apartment.

“Cathy, imagine living with him.” Baro laughed.

“What did you bring me?” I asked, completely forgetting or attempting to forget about Jinyoung who just stood there mentally kicking himself for having testosterone.

“Chocolate.” Gongchan said as he handed me a bag. "Cathy said you love anything with chocolate."

I grabbed the bag and looked at him apologetically. “Thank you, Channie. I’m in a diet, though.”

“Since when?” Cathy asked annoyed.

“Since I gained three lbs.” I snapped back.

“Noona, you don’t need to diet, it’s only three pounds. How much is that like 1 kilo?” Gongchan whined as I handed him back the bag

“It’s a little more.” I corrected. “I’m not very tall; 3 pounds on me are noticeable. If I don’t maintain it’ll be five pound next.”

“Girls are complicated.” Gongchan grunted.

“I’m starting to work out tomorrow, running. I love running.” I added then turned around to sit on the couch. I then decided to turned right back. “I guess… I can start the diet fresh tomorrow.” I added, taking the bag from Gongchan’s hand.

I smiled to myself as he chuckled.

“You may be my noona, but you act so cute.” He kind of manly squealed.

“No, just no.” I said shaking my head.

“Stop bothering her, Gongchan.”   Baro called from the sofa.

“Hyung.” Gongchan whined. “I’m not.”

“Thank you, Baro.” I said as I turned around and went to sit next to him.

Jinyoung had been quietly sitting in the lover’s seat. I glanced at him, and then quickly looked away. Can we ever just be normal to each other?

 Cathy popped some popcorn while Gongchan set the movie.  The room was super dark. When they were done they came to sit.

“Hyung, you should let Cathy and Gongchan sit there. Come sit with Jessy and me.” Baro suggested.

Without any complains Jinyoung stood up and sat next to me.

Awkward…

The movie began and I couldn’t even pay attention every time Jinyoung moved I looked at him. I need to stop I’m starting to look like an obsessive creeper. Suddenly, Baro stood up and got us a blanket, it was kind of cold. I had finally gotten into the movie when suddenly Jinyoung brushed his fingers against my left as he his side.

“Sorry.” He muttered.

I nodded. What is the movie even about?