Sehun + Haneul: hunhan

Woohyun + Haneul: hyunhan

Aha, I found that funny :P

The room was white just like every other room in the hospital. The curtains were pulled back and rays of sunlight shone in. There was one couch put up against the wall that had a door in it and a coffee table in front of it. There was a solid brown bookshelf next to the window much like my Mother’s. But what that room didn’t have was Woohyun. Where that man had gone worried me greatly.

I decided to take a seat on the couch to rest my aching legs. I rested my head back and closed my eyes, letting the sun cover me whole. Although it was a hot day, the warmth the sun gave me while sitting there was like no other. The room was bright and almost glowing, making me feel like I was high above the clouds.

“That was my seat,” Someone said.

I was upset that somebody came in and ruined my fun but opened my eyes nonetheless. I was surprised but relieved to see that Woohyun was standing in front of the door. He had a blank look on his face and seemed to care more about the couch than my presence.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” I exclaimed as I stood up.

Woohyun ignored me and sat down on the couch, taking out a book from behind the cushion and opening it up. He flipped through the pages and I watched his eyes scan through the words. I was surprised that Woohyun read. I had once heard him say he detested books.

“I thought you didn’t like reading,” I said as I sat down on the couch with him.

“I didn’t,” He confirmed. “Until I met someone who did.”

I wondered if he was talking about Haneul. She loved to read and I had to admit, her love did somewhat rub off on me. It would rub off on Woohyun much more considering the fact that he practically lives with her.

“Same here,” I picked out a book from the bookshelf. It had a light brown cover and the pages were falling apart. Nonetheless, I took it out as Haneul would have said not to judge the book by its appearance. I took a seat next to Woohyun again and began reading just like him.

I had finished the first chapter when he spoke, “That’s an ugly looking book.”

“It is.”

“But don’t tell Haneul I said that,” He added in. I turned to look at him but he kept his gaze set on the book. He hadn’t looked at me once the entire day and this tense situation worried me greatly.

“Ms. Choi was looking for you.”

“I know,” He turned his head to look at the next page.

“You should probably go get your checkup done, Woohyun,” I advised.

“No, thanks.”

I sighed, “You know I can’t let you miss your checkup, right?” I stood up. “You need to go.”

“I don’t want to,” He simply replied.

“Woohyun, stop being so stubborn. Let’s go.”

He scoffed, “Oh, I’m being stubborn?”

“Just a bit,” I decided to sit back down.

It was quiet again and I assumed Woohyun went back to his book. But when I turned to look at him, his book was resting in his hands, closed. He was staring at the television placed in the corner. It was an old one which was much fatter than sleek skinny one I have at home.

“This book is very boring” Woohyun said.

“Then why did you pick it out?”

“Because Haneul loves this book. She told me to read it a long time ago, but I could barely get past the first chapter,” He lightly chuckled.

“And so you’re giving it another try?” I asked, staring at the odd man.

“Yea,” He looked at me. “Because there’s nothing wrong with trying again, you know.”

“What’s the story about?” I asked, a bit curious as Haneul loved it.

“Well, it’s about a man who gets lost in a third world country. He ends up with no money and no place to stay,” Woohyun looked down at the book.

“And?”

“I told you, I never got past the first chapter.”

I laughed lightly as I rolled my eyes, “I know you said that you’re reading the book because Haneul told you to but why are you listening to her?”

Woohyun stood up and walked to the window, “I want to see what she likes so much about this book. She would ignore me completely back then just to read it and sometimes I think she’d like to marry the book. I want to get in her head to see what she likes and what type of person she is. I guess you could say I want to know more about her—or everything.”

“You sound like…” I trailed off, looking for the perfect way to describe him.

“A man in love.”

“Yea,” I whispered, my heart beating strongly for some reason. Woohyun chuckled but sighed afterwards.

“Yea, that’s me. Nam Woohyun chasing after things that will never happen,” He said. “But you know, there are people out there who can get what they want, but they don’t. I ask myself why every time I see those kinds of people.”

After not hearing a reply from me, Woohyun continued, “It’s a pity that I think you’re one of those people.”

I took a deep breath, “What do you mean?”

He chuckled bitterly, “I guess the greater pity is that you don’t see it yourself.”

“I agree.”

“But why?” Woohyun asked through gritted teeth and an uneasy breath. “Why do you not do what you can!?”

“I have my reasons,” I said quietly, not wanting to raise my voice in the small room.

“They’re foolish reasons,” Woohyun said while turning around to look at me. He was now leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his patient clothing, his eyes piercing through mine. I could see the darkness in his two pupils and couldn’t help but want to cowardly run away from him.

“And what makes you think they’re foolish?” I retorted, one eyebrow raised.

He scoffed, “Sehun, I know very well why you stopped playing soccer. Heck, everybody who played back then knows! We all knew something was going on from the beginning—well, our parents did. I’m pretty sure your coach knew as well. But everybody was just too damn cowardly.”

“What?” I breathed out. My mind was spinning as Woohyun kept throwing daggers at me. I always lived believing that nobody knew. I had left without a word hoping that people would just forget me. I guess I let that hope become a reality that wasn’t there.

“Sehun, I know why you stopped playing soccer. I know what your Father did and I know why your coach and his wife had a divorce.”

I couldn’t focus anymore and my vision was becoming slightly blurry. Memories kept rushing back at me and hitting me with great force. I decided to stand up and clear my head by looking out of the window. If Woohyun was trying to get back at me, he was doing a damn good job.

“You can’t run away from it forever,” He said a bit more calmly this time.

I scoffed, “And then what? Become like you and chase after something that will never happen?”

“What won’t happen, Sehun?”

“My life will never be the same.”

“Oh God, just listen to yourself! Can’t you see how selfish you’re being!?” He turned me to face him. “You can play soccer, Sehun, Soccer! You can go out and run on that grassy field with a black and white ball between your feet. But here you are being worried over the fact that your life will never be the same.”

I wanted Woohyun to stop speaking. I wanted to throw a fist to his face and push him down before running out of the room. I wanted to retaliate and try to defend myself by saying that all his accusations were false. I wanted to do all this but sadly couldn’t.

“You have two legs, Sehun. You have two arms, two eyes, a mouth, ears, a well working heart and so much more. But you don’t use them. What do you think? Selfish, right?” Woohyun said as he jabbed his finger into my chest.

“Woohyun, there’s so much more to it. You would never understand that pain!”

“You’re telling me I don’t understand pain? Me? A patient who has had a lingering lung disease for so many years now doesn’t understand pain?” Woohyun turned to look out the window. “I know it must have been painful when you found out your Dad cheated on your Mother.”

“Woohyun,” I said sternly, asking him to stop. I didn’t want him to continue. I didn’t want to hear those words from someone else.

He refused to listen to me and went on in a louder voice, “I know it was painful when you found out about your Dad’s unfair ways.”

“What are you trying to get at?” I asked, looking up at him straight in the eyes.

“But why would you let that bring you down?” He whispered. “Why would you let somebody else’s stupidity stop you from doing what you want? Sehun, you were astounding and you know it. So why stop what you were so good at?”

A single tear fell from my eye. Another followed it and soon, tears were never-ending. I came into this room looking for Woohyun. I just wanted to find him and send him back to the nurse’s office. That was all I wanted but I got much more than that. I got a reality check; a well needed reality check.

“I want to play soccer so badly, Sehun. So much that I go days with only thinking about soccer sometimes. I can’t play but, Sehun, you can. You have no disease stopping you from it. Accept this dying man’s wish, please.”

“There you go again, you’re not dying!” I choked out. “But why? Why do you want me to play?”

“Simply because I can’t. I want to be on that field in some way, and you can do that for me.”

Myungsoo’s words rang in my head: I think if he could somehow be on that field again, he’d be happy.

I stared Woohyun in the eyes and understood the story behind them so much more. I didn’t feel indebted to him anymore as I felt that he was just a friend trying to help. I could now see unending warmth radiating from him. It was nothing but comforting and promising.

 I thought back to a couple of months ago when I snuck into the warehouse to steal some goods. A couple of months ago, I simply didn’t care. The world was just something I lived in and went along with. I had given up hope on all things good. But here came Woohyun trying to bring me back to that good I let go. I hated it. I hated it so much because he was making me remember what I worked so hard to forget. But what I hated even more was that I appreciated him so much for it.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll play.”