It’s been a year.

And nothing really changed. Except, everything had gone a few shades darker without you here, and it feels like a large part of my life is gone, like a missing puzzle piece.

I knew it would hurt, but I didn’t know the pain would be so bad, and I was wrong to think that I could move on, to continue living thinking I’ve done the right thing to let you go so you won’t ever be hurt again. But the pain never goes away, instead, it gets worse as each day passes.

Sometimes I imagine what we would’ve been now if you never left, if I never say those hurtful words to you. Maybe if I had a little more faith in us, if I had more trust, I might have taken the risk and continue keeping you by my side and maybe, we would’ve worked out.

You’re gone, disappeared, like you’ve never existed. I wished I could pretend, but everything still feels so true, like as if I was just hugging you yesterday, your warmth still surrounds, your scent still lingers.

I remember you used to ask me why I love you.

I never once answered.

Not that I don’t have an answer, I do. I just don’t know how to bring it across to you.

People say idols can’t have girlfriend, because no one can stay with a person who doesn’t have all the time for her. But you never left, you proved them all wrong, you proved me wrong. Whenever my schedule ended late in the night, when I stepped into the house and see you on the couch waiting for me, it makes all the tiredness seep away from my body. You would always look so blur but when you realize it’s me and your face beams up,

That’s the reason why I love you.