Nicole knows it's wrong. It's terribly and horribly and utterly wrong and she shouldn't do it, shouldn't even think about wanting to do it, shouldn't even think about trying to fix something like that because something as damaged as that should be left there on it's own so it won't be destroyed any further.

Because even if she does manages to fix it, the cracks and chinks and fissures will still eventually split apart and be broken into even smaller pieces.

It's wrong and it's honestly unacceptable but—





When Nicole wakes up the next day, she wakes up to the evening sky. She opens her eyes to white ceiling that is painted orange and yellow by the setting sun. She feels moist and damp tear-stained pillows, remembers flooding memories of yesterday and hears dreadful silence.

Yesterday was heart-wrenching. It's awful to get exposed in such a situation where everyone is present, where everyone realizes the truth and at that moment, it feels bad. It feels bad and shameful but now, now the silence she's feeling is something that the awfulness yesterday can't even be compared.

Silence like this feels like emptiness, feels like tightness in her heart and numbness after, feels like loneliness and it’s horrible and terrible and her nose stings and her eyes feel wet so she flips over and buries her head deep into the pillow (she hopes she gets swallowed) and shuts her eyes tight because she doesn't want to ever wake up.



To: Hyunseung
Sent: 5.56pm

"I'm sorry."



When she does wakes up (to even wetter pillows), the sun had already set and outside, the falling snowflakes was decorating the night sky and Nicole walks down the street and keeps her hands stuffed into her pockets (right hand gripping her phone tightly in case it vibrates because it is supposed to vibrate right?) as she shuffles pass the park, pass the children who are playing with the snow, pass the souvenir store, pass the restaurants to the café as she pushes the door open and walks in.

She sees Hyuna on the far right, with a cup of hot coffee and valrhona chocolate cupcakes.



To: Doojoon
Sent: 7.38pm

"I'm sorry."



"Can I sit?"

The other looks up, surprised for a moment but a small smile appears and she nods.

Silence like this is supposed to be awkward. Sitting with someone she had hurt and barely even knew, with someone who likes the same person as her, who is better than her in every way possible, she’s supposed to be jealous and envious and angry and sitting like this together with that person, it’s supposed to be awkward.

"Want some?" She sees the plate being pushed towards her.

"Listen," She shook her head and says. "I don't have a good explanation for the things that I did and I know it's unforgivable but—"

It surprises her, because she expects Hyuna to snigger, to stay angry and ignores whatever she says and laugh at her for failing in her plans. She expects her to eat all the cakes by herself because someone like Nicole isn’t worth sharing those wonderful desserts with but she does the exact opposite and pushes the fork into her hand and plate closer to her.

"It's really nice, you would love it, I promise."

It's shocking but she listens and when she dips her fork into the cake, into , she hears the other laugh and it makes her heart tighten even further.

"You know you’re not a bad person.” And Nicole looks up to see Hyuna with a sincere and honest smile on her face. “I may not be that close with you back then when you were here, but I heard a lot about you from the boys.” 

She smiles a tiny smile because being shocked again right after the first time doesn't really allow her to speak.

"It was a pity you left, I really wanted to be friends."



"I'm sorry." It wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be. Nicole didn’t think she would be able to do it face to face with all of them but towards Hyuna, it seems effortless.

"Don't be, I'm not mad."

"I'm still sorry, to you, to all of them but it probably wouldn’t change anything.”

Hyuna's phone buzz on the table and she picks it up, clicks and stares at it before pursing her lips.

"I have to go, but" She pulls Nicole up and whisks her out the café. “You know, they are still at Cube.”



To: Yoseob
Sent: 11:42pm

"You were right."(erased)
"It was my fault."(erased)
"I'm sorry."



It's not a short walk. It takes about 30 minutes by foot and only half the time with the bus and even lesser if she took a cab but she chose to walk because she's afraid that if she uses the other options, she's just going to end up sitting and doing nothing and she's going to remember all the awful memories that makes her stomach flip.

Walking brings her awful memories too. But maybe if she tries focusing on walking, maybe if she tries focusing on trying not to slip on the snow, just maybe if she tries harder, maybe it would distract her.

A few metres away from her destination, she stops.

It's funny, she thought. Because before yesterday, she had so much courage to do all the things that she'd done and if she had that much courage, she shouldn't be standing here thinking if it was the right decision to do because the Nicole before yesterday never had to think if decisions were right.

That Nicole never had to think but now, now she's thinking.



To: Junhyung
Sent: 12.27am

"I'm sorry."(erased)
"I never meant to hurt you like this."(erased)
"I'm sorry."(erased)
"Can we talk?"



Nicole stares at the main sliding doors of Cube's building as six boys slowly strolled out, with heavy steps and slouched shoulders (dance practices does that to people) and she wants to walk, wants to run and apologize and do whatever it takes for everything to be back to normal.

Except her legs disagrees.

Except when their van arrives, she sees the rapper taking out his phone, slides it a few times, stares at the screen for a few seconds before climbing into the vehicle.

Nicole swallows and grips her phone in her pocket tighter, waiting, expecting, wishing, hoping.





—but it's just, it's Hyunseung and it's Kikwang and it's Dongwoon and it's Doojoon and it's Yoseob and it's Junhyung and it's Hyuna so she has to try to fix it because people as awesome as them should never be hurt like that.

Nicole has to try.





"No new text messages."

A/N: The actual plot is supposed to have a character switch between Hyuna and Nicole where Hyuna becomes the bad girl and Nicole the good but @#$%&$#@!$!%$# my fingers auto-piloted while I was writing and this happened so I don't know if it's still good enough. 

Enjoy, comment and let me know what you think! ^__^

@iDreamofSeoul I never knew someone would like my writing style because I personally think they are really weird but thank you so so much, you are awesome too!

@SHieMa Thank you for being so patient and not rushing me (I know I'm really slow T__T)

@JLover1822 This is such an undeserving compliment, thank you soooooo much omg. Hope you like this update! ^^

@Hequella Thank you for the encouragement! Well we'll see.. :)

@f_mama I'm glad you stayed patient all these while, I really hope it's worth the wait so hope you like what's going to come!

@ChickenLover She's coming back! ^__^

@rachox Thank you sooooooo much! The old Nicole's coming back ^__^

@shineekey Yes and I hope you'll like it :)

@dnakaram I know right T________T

Thank you all so much! <33333