“I don’t believe you, Kai.”

The words slip off her tongue as if she has never trust him in the first place. It was short yet firm, her voice remains firm despite the sadness it had. She remained strong, as she stared deeply to his eyes. It’s not as if she didn’t try to trust her. In fact, she tried very hard in order to believe in him. She searched for the glimpse of light – the little magic that may turned her to another foolish woman who would once again believe in him. She didn’t mind at all, if he ever worked his magic on her again. She didn’t mind turning into a fool, she didn’t mind being blinded by it, as long as their relationships didn’t end. It’s just the fact that she could no longer find the glimpse of light, and that she has begun to be tired, that she had decided to leave him. She wanted to hold on to their relationship so badly, yet she was the one to end it all.

It wasn’t the worst among them all, the fact that she has to spot them with her owns eyes and the fact that their relationship has ended. What worse was the fact that she had spotted the two of them, being all lovey dovey, sharing a kiss in the midst of the chaos. She tried to lie to herself, saying she did not have seen the two kissing, but she simply can’t. It was very fresh in her head, that she fears she might gone crazy because of it. How she wished today was simply a nightmare, but no, somehow reality has turned worse than nightmare.

She was crying, she let both her feet to take her wherever they wanted to be. She did not have a clear goal, as the tears has yet to stop. It was fortunate, how people remain ignorant toward her presence, it lessens the trouble she will have to face later. For now, she only wanted to cry her lungs out, for the pain to be gone. If she ever dragged a dagger along with her and if she ever had the chance to slash her body into two, will the sadness be gone? Sadly, it will not. There was no possible way for her to be escaping the pain. She will have to face it and somehow time will heal her.

Was it the fourth or the fifth time? She couldn’t exactly remember. She was back in the place, where she spotted the couple kissing, and the place where her heart was shattered apart. She has been running around the place, maybe even walking for kilometers, before coming back to the same place over and over again. It seems she was bounded to the place, as she was bounded to her pain. Her legs was sore from too much walking, her tears has dried from too much crying. The only thing left was her pain, hidden somewhere inside her petite figure; and a puffy red eyes, an effect from too much crying.

She has turned into a mad woman. She kept looking up high in the sky, watching the clouds moving around, as she stares blankly at the blue sky. She remained smiling widely, crazily, as if the pain was nothing. She didn’t even care about the future, as she keeps on walking while staring at the clouds, bumping to a few people as they curse out. Her smile would only turned wider, as she heard them cursing at her. Why did it make her feel better? Why?

From where she stood, she could spot a bar just across the street. How foolish was she to miss something very important? She needed it, liquor, and this time it has to be a strong one, enough to blow her mind and washed her consciousness. She wanted to be drunk so badly, so she would walk like a mad woman, cursed out like a lowly person, and turned insane. Even if it kills her, she wanted to be drunk.

Her sore legs have made it difficult for her to be walking around any further. She keeps stumbling on her own steps, once in a while falling down in the midst of the crowd, yet the fear of being stepped on doesn’t even come to mind. She simply stands back up, only to fall again and again as she crossed the street, desperately reaching for the bar.

“IU-ssi,”

A voice called out and she did not know who it belongs to, yet it hurts her pride knowing the voice does knock some senses back to her head. She simply stood frozen, as a pair of arm firmly grips her shoulder.

***

“IU-ssi,” Luhan called out to her with mix feelings, relieve yet scared.

The world has turned upside down when no one managed to contact Lee Ji Eun, not even her manager. It was even worse when Kim Jongin suddenly returned home with a depressed expression. But what makes the world turn upside down was the fact that Byun Baekhyun failed to find Lee Ji Eun at home. It seems she has gone out since the morning and she seems unusual. The gloomy girl has turned too much of a happy-go-lucky, especially at such a time.

It was then, when Luhan, Baekhyun, and Suho – the three man come to a conclusion that they have to find her no matter what. It was frustrating though, seeing how crowded the street of Seoul was. It made them think what were they thinking?

Luhan was about to give up, when he found the fragile figure walking across the street. She looked insane – supposedly sad yet she was smiling like a mad woman. She looked worn out from too much crying and walking, she would stumble on her own steps from time to time. His heart was wrecked, somehow it hurts seeing her being so pitiful.

She stares blankly at the clouds, as he grab a hold of her. She was lifeless and fragile, yet it didn’t take long before she blinks her eyes and gazes at him so blankly. But it quickly turns furious and sad. It was as if he had knocked some senses back to her head.

“IU-ssi, are you okay?” He wondered how foolish he was to be asking that kind of question. Of course, she was in no condition to be fine. “Let’s just go home and rest. It’s been a tiring day.”

“You!” She screams, before he managed to let out another word. “You!” She point a finger.

“Get off me! You should’ve let me die! You should’ve let me die! I should’ve died! Why did you save me?! You’re cruel!” She screams, mercilessly hitting his chest with all the energy she had left, it was weak though.

He cringes at her words, for the pain she must be going through. She keeps repeating those words while hitting him. She couldn’t help but to cry, as she struggled to break free. Luhan quickly grab her hand, as he wrapped an arm around her to embrace the petite figure. She struggle hard though, as she escaped from his grasp. She forces herself to crack a smile and laughs at herself, before running off somewhere else despite falling down a couple of time.

Luhan watched her running away from him. He watched her desperately entering the bar across the street. By then, he realized he won’t be going home anytime soon. He would have to watch over her.

***

Was she broken? H wondered because he had just broken apart. Why did he even betray her in the first place? He did not know. Everything he had ever wished for and everything he ever need was her, it was right there and it was his, yet he let it slips off. Why did he choose that woman? True, she has the beauty and everything else, perfect. But she can’t even compare to Lee Ji Eun. Why? It was simple, because she wasn’t Lee Ji Eun.

The EXO were being cold to him. They didn’t greet him, not even inviting him for lunch. In fact, they don’t even prepare lunch for him. They simply ignored him as if he never existed in the first place. It was stressful, it made him feel guiltier. He was wrong indeed. Such a pure heart, why did it have to fall for the wrong man? He didn’t deserve her at all.

He lied down, frustrated at himself and his deed. His mind was clouded with thoughts. He was wrong. Wrong. He was very wrong that she could no longer believe in him. I don’t believe you, Kai. Those words did hurt him a lot.

If he ever rushed to see her, begging on his knee for forgiveness, will she ever forgive him? She has been forgiving, she always forgave him, yet this time he doubt she would. After all, he has broken her.

His fingertips were cold, unlike those days when he always had her fingers interlaced to his. No one could ever replaced her in his heart, yet with those in mind, he betrayed her. Such a liar. He tried to reach his phone at the other side of the bed, only to stare blankly at the screen where her name and pictures were beautifully drawn. Should he call or at least text her?

But he quickly jumps in surprise when it suddenly vibrates and rings loudly, as if it was warning him of something bad that was going to happen soon. The name popped up on the screen made him cringes, Suzy.

And he knows it was too late.

***

Lee Ji Eun slammed her petite body to the chair in front of the counter, as she dropped her bag roughly against the table. It was cold and empty, it was lonely, yet she prefers it to stay that way. The old man stared at her, as if he knew she was having a hard time. Lee Ji Eun wasn’t even wearing anything to disguise herself, yet she firmly believes no one would be able to recognize her. She looked terrible, puffy red eyes and bloated face thanks to him that she cried so much and ended up looking ugly.

“Give me something strong. I want to get drunk today.” She ordered the older man.

“Mixed?”

“Just give me something strong.”

“Having a tough day early in the morning must be hard.”

“Thankfully this bar is open.” She answered, gulping down the strong liquor.

She could not stop, even if she knew her body won’t be able to hold in any longer. She was gulping down cups of strong liquor. Despite the fact that she knew she might end up in hospital or end up as a dead body, she did not care. Tell her, what is the point of living? She found it pointless. The older man cringed, seeing how much she has been drinking, and the fact that she’s alone was even worse. He tried to stop her, but she would curse and asked for an even stronger drink.

Her head was spinning, it felt as if she was in cloud nine, yet it didn’t feel that great. It felt as if she was strained, her thoughts were pushed to the back of her head, yet it was spinning her in distress. Her stomach was upset, it felt as if she was about to vomit any time soon. But it wasn’t enough; she wanted to be a mad woman before stopping. She has lost the counts of how many cups of liquor she had gulped down, she knew it was a lot.

It was a few hours later, before she got completely wasted. She looked pathetic though, she did not cry, she simply had that bitter smile, smiling like a mad woman. She was faintly sobbing, yet no tears run down her cheek. She simply smiles bitterly while sobbing – the pain must be unbearable. She reeks the smell of alcohol, it stinks a lot, that a person might get drunk simply by smelling her.

The door suddenly swings opened, as a man suddenly popped out. It was a blonde hair man, wearing a hoodie to cover his face. He dropped by the counter, giving some cash to the older man, before carrying the petite figure in a bridal style, leaving the bar. He cringed, seeing how wasted she was, how she faintly sobs in his embrace. Her forehead formed wrinkles from too much thinking; she must be having a hard time. She would faintly moaned out his name, despite the fact that he had broken her.