“And you know what annoys me Baekhyun! That usually the strangest things happen! Like, you know in real life that would not be possible or proper… or legal… but it happens anyway!” said Chanyeol.

“It’s just part of the charm of fanfiction,” Baekhyun said.

…

“Want to drink with us?” asked Wufan.

“Sure,” said Tao with a little grin.

“NO! He is only eighteen! Eighteen!” screamed Luhan at the rest of the teachers as he pointed at Sehun. When in retrospection, later that night, he would question himself why didn’t he say they instead of he.

“That’s the legal age so…” said Minseok.

“But- Suho?” said Luhan desperately, shaking the napkins he used to dry his face and hair. This was not right. A teacher shouldn’t invite a student to drink. It was not proper. It was not sane. It was not descent.

“Well, we didn’t bring them here,” said Suho.

“Hey,” said Tao. “Kyungsoo and Kai came with us too. They are at the dance floor. It’s like an unofficial school meeting, right? Funny how we all met here.” said Tao charming everyone with his smile.

“They are here too,” said Suho scanning the crowd for them. “Hey, there they are.”

“Hey, look at Jongin move. He is a good dancer…” wondered Yixing aloud.

“You are a good dancer,” said Minseok between sips of his drinks. “But he seems better than you.”

“What? No one is better than Zhang Yixing!” he stood up and looked at Kai and Kyungsoo with a determined look. “Let’s see what the kid has… Suho!” he ordered. “Come with me!” he said dragging him by the arm. “Let’s dance off!”

Suho murmured something like: But I don’t dance but Luhan couldn’t be sure since they walked away very quickly.

“So are you sitting with us?” asked Wufan indifferently.

Tao proceeded to deposit himself on the stool right next to Wufan’s and then Luhan’s entire body hair rose up as Sehun sat right next to him. Tao quickly engaged in a conversation with Wufan to which the latter responded with monosyllables. Minseok seemed to be occupied with Jongdae’s nagging as he complained loudly about Yixing and how mean he was to Suho. That left him and Sehun to talk.

“You want me to order you something?” asked Sehun.

 “No,” exclaimed Luhan. “I’m your elder. I order the drinks.”

“Yeah but… I sort off hit your head so…”

“Well,” he unconsciously rubbed his head. “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He looked at Sehun carefully. He seemed quite composed. More than he was. “Have you had many shots ? I won’t buy you or let you buy any drink if you are drunk.”

“No, I’m fine,” he said.

“Okay,” said Luhan and then he ordered drinks for both of them despite the fact that he felt like he was taking advantage of a poor little angel… with the devil’s face!

So this was what they meant by jail bait.

…

“Oh and I hate delusional pairings. Like, where do they come from? Sometimes even characters that hate each other are paired up!” exclaimed Chanyeol.

“Are you going to keep complaining about it?” said Baekhyun.

“There is no logic in fanfiction! Where do they come from?”

…

Kai and Kyungsoo had been dancing the night away while Yixing and Suho were at the same pace.  Kyungsoo and Suho were sort of being dragged by the other two guys with the silent and undeclared dance competition they had.

The music had been perfect to dance off until that moment.

The DJ played shifted to a soft tune. Kai and Kyungsoo awkwardly got together and danced. They moved their hands around for none seemed to want to take the girl position so Kyungsoo ended up taking Kai by the waist as the taller boy placed his hands around Kyungsoo’s neck. After a while of twirling and dancing Kai felt dizzy and drowned by the music. He let his head fall on Kyungsoo’s  neck and breathed in his neat scent.

“Hey Kai?” said Kyungsoo all of a sudden, breaking the lovely atmosphere. Seriously, couldn't a guy just smell the neck of the other on peace? Jeez!

“Hummm,” said Kai carelessly putting his hands tightly around Kyungsoo. He wanted to hold on a little longer.

“Ummmm, don’t you think… that Yixing…”

“Splendid,” said Kai, not really paying attention to what Kyungsoo said.

“Kai?”

He didn’t answer.

“Kai!”

“Yes?” he asked stopping the dance to look at him straight in the eye.

He tilted his head to the side. “Look…”

Kai looked at the direction he pointed at. Yixing and Suho were dancing much like everyone else. No. WAIT. WAS YIXING LEANING DOWN! WHAT WAS HE DOING? WAS HE…?

“THEY ARE KISSING!” screamed Kai while pointing. “OH MY GOD!”

People stopped dancing around them, even the teachers stared.

“Jongin!” hissed Kyungsoo.

…

“Baekhyun,” said Chanyeol.

“Yes Chanyeol?” asked Baekhyun looking directly at Chanyeol.

“Why in fanfics there is always drunk before any confession happens? I love you always comes afterwards.”

“I don’t know… We are all writers and think of first before love,” responded Baekhyun shrugging.

…

Sehun realized that Luhan didn’t have a high tolerance with his alcohol.

“Sehuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!” Luhan shrieked after two glasses and a constant assault of Sehun’s personal space. “Sehun,” he said, this time at his ear. “Sehun,” he repeated while attempting to give him a massage on his shoulders but failing miserably. Luhan was on his stool but half of the weight of his body was on top of Sehun’s lap and his face was burying itself on his neck.

“Sehun,” he said once again but letting his voice resonate on Sehun’s skin.

Sehun loved it but things were getting quite awkward and very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because Minseok and Jongdae gave judging looks and Wufan looked like he might fall asleep at any moment as Tao kept on showing him the Spring Collection of Gucci on his smarthphone. 

Sehun reluctantly pushed Luhan off his neck but he barely could stay in balance on his stool.

“Hyung,” said Sehun holding him up. “You are drunk.”

Luhan looked up at him. “I am not drunk! I’m teacher not hyung!” He suddenly gasped. “Look there is the green pig! I think I’ll name him Joe.  Joe is a good name…” Luhan slowly laid on his neck again.

Okay, he was definitely drunk…

“Sehun,” said Luhan softly “Why is your face like that?”

“Huh?”

“Your face,” he said rubbing Sehun's face. “So… tangible… touchable…”

“I think you need to get home Luhan,” said Sehun.

“I don’t want too!” he screamed and ran off like a crazy person.

“Luhan… Luhan!” he called, dissimulating as well as a screaming person in a bar full of people could be. 

Sehun looked at the other teachers and they seemed too occupied to even pay attention so it was up to him to follow him. Sehun wondered why he always had to fix everything on his own? Why was Luhan so bipolar? Why was it worse when drunk? Why couldn't they just hold hand? What was the meaning of life?

Sehun made a bee line among the dancing crowd and found him inside the bathroom. He was crouching by the floor.

“Luhan?” Sehun crouched next to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yes… Are you here to rub your face on me again?”

“Rub?”

“Not literally!” he snapped back. “You just keep rubbing in how handsome it is.”

Sehun smiled. “You think I’m handsome?” he asked. Sehun felt like running over the rainbow.

“No, you are not. Your face.”

Sehun would beat that rainbow with a hammer.

“So the rest of my body is ugly?” he wondered.

“I haven’t seen your body stupid,” said Luhan.

“Oh,” said Sehun.

They nodded slowly.

Sehun cleared his throath. “So, should we go back?”

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

“We are in the bathroom, hyung.”

Luhan looked around. “Oh... sorry... I’m drunk.” He tried to stand but almost fell over. Sehun helped him up, loving how warm Luhan's hands were. “I’ll be back!” exclaimed Luhan and stumbled to a cubicle. He locked it after him.

Sehun wondered if he should wait outside the door. He was not an expert on bar bathroom’s etiquette. Sehun started to wonder of Tao knew about the teachers being at the bar. There was something suspicious about everything. 

“Sehun-ah,” called Luhan, breaking Sehun's mental mumble.

“Yes?”

“I need help.”

“With what?”

Luhan opened the cubicle door, just a bit, and stuck his head out.

He looked so cute that Sehun wanted to smack his forehead.

“My zipper… is stuck,” he said sheepishly.

“Oh… um… what do you want me to do?”

“Help me,” he said.

“Okay,” said Sehun awkwardly. “Should I go in or are you…?”

“Slide in,” said Luhan.

He opened the door slightly and Sehun had to squeeze himself in. He regretted coming in once he realized how small the space was.

Luhan was literally breathing into his face.

“So…” said Sehun.

Luhan had his eyes closed and said rather dreamily. “Down there.”                                

“Okay,” Sehun tried to bent but he couldn’t, the space was too small. “I’ll just…” He traced his hand down and found the zipper to Luhan’s pants. “I’m putting it down now…”

Luhan carelessly yawned. “Okay…”

Sehun began to push it down but he couldn’t. The zipper was really stuck.

“I can’t…”

“I gotta gooooooo,” whined Luhan.

“Okay, um, let me just-“

Sehun pushed the zipper down but nothing happened.

“Push, Sehun, harder!” said Luhan urgently.

“I can’t!”

“Push! Push!”

Sehun groaned loudly.

“Come on, you can do it Sehun!”

“Aw…” Sehun moaned and his finger. It hurt hus thumb to press the zipper so hard.

“Don’t it!” screamed Luhan. “Push it down.”

“I’m trying.”

“Do it, do it,” said Luhan. “Harder!”

Sehun grunted with the effort.

Luhan shrieked. “You pinched me, Sehun!”

“Wait, don’t move Luhan, is finally coming.”

Sehun gripped the zipper harder and pulled it down. He grunted loudly as the zipper was finally coming down.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh,” Luhan moaned loudly.

Sehun panted with the effort. “There, is loose.”

“That was great,” said Luhan. “You are really strong.”

Sehun felt his cheeks reddened. “Yeah well, I’ll let you finish here.”

“Thanks Sehun,” said Luhan with a stupid smile.

The boy nodded awkwardly and walked out of the stall. Outside he saw Tao, holding up his cell phone. The light of the camera was on.

“What are you doing Tao?!”

“Ah! Me? Nothing! Bye!”

The ninja boy escaped the bathroom. Wooooooshaaaaaaah!

Sehun wondered what was the meaning of life again.

…

 “I mean, what about the guy that has no clue the other likes him?” said Chanyeol.

“Well, what do you want then?" protested Baekhyun. "That the guy actually knew his love interest likes him? Things would be too easy!”

…

Suho laughed awkwardly. “Jongin! I-I’m sorry you saw that. It’s just that Yixing and I are…”

“Are friends with benefits,” said Yixing.

Suho sighed slowly. “Yeah… that.”

“Kai, we should go,” said Kyungsoo pulling Kai back.

“Wait, no. This is not right. I thought you liked someone else!” screamed Kai to Suho.

“I’m sorry Kai, I told you I liked someone else. But-”

“Didn’t you like Kyungsoo?”

“You like Kyungsoo?” asked Yixing.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” said Kyungsoo.

Yixing struck a pose. “What is happening?”

“I thought Suho hyung was going to confess to Yixing,” said Kyungsoo.

“You were… you know I don’t like lovey-dovey things,” said Yixing with a scoff.

“I know baby but… I-I just wanted us to be together… officially.”

Yixing rolled his eyes. “You just had to ask, jeez.”

“What? Really?” asked Suho.

“Uhu,” said Yixing.

“Really?”

“Uhummmm.”

“Really? Really?”

“Yessssssssss.”

“Really? Really? Really?”

Yixing smacked his head. “If you keep asking I’ll say no.”

Suho smiled stupidly. “Okay... sorry.”

Kai’s mouth was hanging open. “What is this?! This is not right! I have spent all this weeks, running around, following you and you were in love with Yixing all this time?!”

“Oh, Jongin please. I know you have a crush on me but-”

“Stop saying that!” screamed Kai at Suho.

“Oh poor baby,” said Yixing walking toward Kai. “Don’t be, Suho is boring.”

Suho glared at Yixing.

“But he has big chances of getting better.” Yixing nodded slowly and looked spaced out for a second, as if recalling something interesting.

“Too much information…” commented Kyungsoo.

“But, really, Jongin. It won’t work,” said Suho.

“I know!” screamed Kai. “I thought…” He looked at Kyungsoo for a second. He suddenly felt silly. He was not sure what he was doing. What was his fuss about?

“Yes, Jongin?” asked Kyungsoo.

“Ah, nothing,” said Kai. He couldn’t say it. He wouldn’t say it. HE WASN’T EVEN SURE WHY HE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH KYUNGSOO AND SUHO ANYWAY!

“Are you sure?” asked Kyungsoo.

“Yeah…”

Kyungsoo sighed slowly. “Right… as always.” He walked away.

“D.O.,” called Kai and followed him. “D.O.! D.O...Kyungsoo?”

“Jongin, stop,” said Kyungsoo. “I’m not that innocent or slow or unaware. Thanks. I’ll be going now.”

“What? Are you mad? Why are you angry?”

Kyungsoo turned around. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I AM MAD?”

Kai looked at Kyungsoo for a moment. “It looks like it. I mean you are yelling… and all.”

The smaller boy groaned and left, stomping all the way.

“Hey! Don’t be mad! I’m Kai! You know! Cool Kai! Bad boy Kai! Your friend… I’m hot! Why would you be mad at me? Kyungsoo? I gave you cat ears!”

The smaller boy just ignored him and left the bar.

Yixing sighed. “Teen angst. So boring…”

…

“Actually,” continued Chanyeol.

“Huh?” said Baekhyun absentmindedly.

“What I really, really hate are the weird misunderstandings! Can the characters just ask what is going on?”

“No.” Baekhyun was annoyed already. “They can’t.”

…

“Sehun…” said Luhan softly. “I’m sorry… I-I’m gay.”

Sehun had been Luhans hair while they sat on the bathroom sinks. He was now lying on his lap and sobbing. The boy thought it was ridiculous. But Luhan was oh-so-cute.

“I think I already had an idea…”

Luhan gasped loudly and sat up. “Is it so obvious?”

“Um, no, not really.But seeing you here…”

“I don’t look gay then?”

“No, I’m not sure. I wasn’t sure…”

“You never thought about it?” wondered Luhan, there was a hint of hurt on his voice.

“What? No. Ha ha ha. I mean. It’s not like my friends and I had been discussing your ual orientation over the past few weeks. We had other topics that had been the central point of our conversations and discussions. Ha ha ha. But maybe we mentioned it... once or twice...”

Luhan was too drunk to notice how nervous Sehun looked. Actually, Sehun wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.

“So is there anyone you are interested in?” asked Luhan.

“Yes,” said Sehun.

“Okay.”

“You like anyone? Kai, maybe?”

“Jongin? No,” said Sehun. “I have seen him already, too many times.”

“You have?”

“I know him like the palm of my hand. He doesn’t like me. He likes to get laid. But I know he likes someone else.”

“He does?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“Wow… That doesn't make sense...”

“Yeah… But he is emotionally slow.”

"Oh, okay."

Sehun stared at Luhan. They were quiet. There was nothing else they had to talk about.

But Luhan was so dreamy and pretty with his watery eyes. His eyes were rimmed red because of the alcohol but he was still cute. If it wasn’t for the smell and filthy surroundings this would remotely resemble Sehun's imagined and random scenarios.

“Sehun?”

“Yes?”

“If I kiss you can we say it was a side effect of me being drunk?”

Sehun felt his entire stomach fall and tug and move and fall again.

“I-I well- I don’t think- Perhaps- If-“

Luhan planted his two hands on Sehun’s face.

“I love your face Sehun.”

“Okay,” Sehun breathed out.

Luhan pukered his lips in a silly manner and Sehun crushed his eyelids together. It was coming. It was finally coming! They were kissing! KISSING! He just had to move a bit closer and…

...

Chanyeol sighed loudly. "And there has to be like a bunch of obstacles before a couple can get together."

"AHA," Baekhyun hit his face. 

...

Tao walked up to a bored Wufan. He had been playing with his drink all this time. The young chinese boy slid to the stool next to his.

"Did you find Sehun and Luhan?"

"Yeah they are at the bathroom," said Tao.

"Mmmm. I think Minseok is still looking for them. Are they doing the nasty?" asked Wufan.

"Maybe..."

Wufan nodded. 

Tao cleared his throat. "Wanna take me home?"

Wufan looked side ways. "Okay."

…

“Fanfics are predictable,” said Chanyeol.

“SO?” said an annoyed Baekhyun.

…

He just had to move a bit closer and... someone came stumbling into the bathroom. They fell on the floor after struggling to push the door open.  

“Ah, damn!” exclaimed Jongdae. There was a girl lying on top of him, way down for it to be appropriate. Jongdae hurried to zip up his zipper.

“Teacher!” exclaimed Sehun. “Wow, I didn’t think you were that… impressive… there…”

“Aren’t you gay!?” screamed Luhan.

“You are gay!” screamed the girl, she stood up and fixed her dressed. “Gosh, you are an idiot. You lied!”

“No wait!” screamed Jongdae. “I’m not gay!”

The girl left the bathroom and Jongdae sighed heavily.

“You… are not gay?” aske Luhan.

“Who the hell told you I was gay?” he snapped. “You just ruined my chance.”

“But… Suho?”

“Suho? Suho is with Yixing. I just like to troll around with the guys. There are so many gay teachers at school anyway,” explained Jongdae.

“But why are you here, in a gay bar?” asked Sehun.

“Gay bars are filled with heartbroken and vulnerable girls. And, I mean, look at me, a handsome not homophobic and understanding guy? Girls can’t handle it. They rain around me.”

Sehun narrowed his eyes. “Wow, you really are something.”

“Ha, if you excuse me, I’ll try to look for my sweetheart.”

Jongdae left the room with a dignified air.

“That was weird,” said Sehun to Luhan.

But when he looked back at his teacher, he had fallen asleep.

Predictable.

...

Chanyeol opened his mouth. "And everyone has a happy ending!"

"If you complain about fanfics one more time I'll kick you!" screamed Baekhyun.

...

Minseok walked around the bar, still looking for Sehun and Luhan to make sure they were okay. The lazy of Wufan wouldn't even move from his stool.

He went back to find Wufan after a while but he was gone.

Yixing and Suho were gone. 

Kyungsoo and Kai were gone.

Jongdae had left with some girls. 

Tao was nowhere to be found.

Minseok groaned. "Great... they left me..."

…

“You know what I really hate about fanfiction?” said Chanyeol over the phone.

“Chanyeol, is 2:00 am!” said Baekhyun on the other line.

“How one of the main characters always gets amnesia…”

“It sets the plot moving Chanyeol! Go to sleep now.”

…

Luhan woke up the next day, showered by sticky notes. Sehun was cute and all with his notes but, seriously, he had a very bad handwriting.

Then he realized that he did not remembered what happened last night. That was bad, really bad.

What if he assaulted Sehun?

What if he pinned him to a wall and…?

What if he wasn’t on top?

Luhan ran around his apartment to recollect all the sticky notes and sat like an Indian to read them all. None had any clue. Oh God! He may have had hot with Sehun, like the pedo he was, and he may not recall it.

That was a bummer… what is the use of committing the crime if he doesn’t remember the juicy details.

But, what the hell? He already did.

That day, he decided to walk up to Sehun. Pull him by the tie of his uniform, get him in his office and get it done with.

Happy ending.

…

Chanyeol groaned as he walked to school with his boyfriend. “I thought about it and I was wrong Baekhyun."

"You are stupid and fanfics are awesome?" offered Baekhyun. 

"No, not that. Its about fanfics endings. There are actually two types of endings Baekhyun!"

"Are we seriously still talking about fanfics?" said Baekhyun.

"There are angst fanfics that make you want to tear up or the super fluffy sweet endings that make you want to puke rainbows!” said Chanyeol.

“I like rainbows!” exclaimed Baekhyun. "And I swear I'll beat you if you say the word fanfic ever again."

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun with a stern face and said: "Fanfic."

Baekhyun groaned loudly as Chanyeol laughed thunderously as he followed his angry and stomping little boyfriend.

"You are cute when you are grouchy!" he screamed after him.

…

After his cup of coffee that morning at school, right after he told Sehun he had to go to his office at lunch hour, he remembered what happened.

Luhan didn’t even kiss Sehun last night.

Life was an angsty thing… with no rainbows at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I need practice. Sorry this wasn't good or funny XDDDDD I'll work harder for next chapter XDDDDD And I don't even know how to explain all that happened. Just randomnes lol.